- Sergey Rosedkin -
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	Exit The story Wife Alexey Balashova, Hope, has gone to Moscow on courses of improvement of qualification for a period of two months. The hope when the call has come on it, has lighted up at once, it rather was not pleasant to Alexey. The matter is that in its memory not very pleasant memoirs at once have revived. Yes what there to speak, nasty associations were called it by combination in a head of two words — "Hope" and "Moscow". Still when they, as they say, zhenihalis, before wedding remains practically nothing, the Hope has gone under the tour to France. Alexey as it is necessary, spent her on station, has planted in the car, farewell kisses were passionate and hot. It was on Thursday. And on Monday he suddenly finds out Hope of service. What? How? Why? It appears, a trip for reasons any there have postponed already in Moscow for half a year. However, Balashova at once has puzzled that the Hope home as it was found out, on Saturday has returned, but at all has not had an effect. However, he has tried to drive away from itself(himself) all evil thoughts, the main thing, it again and now near to it. Alexey liked Hope. More shortly, have postponed a trip so have postponed — a superfluous occasion to pleasure. But pleasure Balashova quickly and very much even has quickly gone out. They at that time worked with Hope in one department, sat in the next offices and phone had parallel, on one number. A call. — To you listen, — as Alexey has usually answered. Is a regional management of culture? — Yes. — It is possible to invite Hope Ogorodnikovu? Something has pushed at once Alexey in the heart — the call was long-distance. It has found Hope in the next department, has told, what it impatiently demand to phone («Who? Who? A man's voice?.»), and itself, having closed a sweaty palm the bottom cup of a tube, with beating heart has clung an ear to another's painful conversation. That he has heard, was monstrous: «Nadja! Hi, washing the native!. I do not sleep three nights, only and I do, that I recollect our night. You — a miracle! Come to me as soon as possible... And you want, I will throw all and I will arrive?.» Alexey has cautiously stuck a tube to the device and has lost itself. It was necessary to undertake something, but what? It, compressing to a crunch fists and constantly natykajas on a table and chairs, was swept up on an office kennel. The door has suddenly revealed and has entered Nadja. — Alyosha, you have already reported for last business trip? — Its voice was absolutely quiet. — JA. You... Now... I will kill! — with aspiration Alexey has pushed out from itself. It so has close jumped up to Hope, that it has recoiled... That scene has turned out rough and long. The hope with tears and pokajannymi ohami-sighs in all admitted, but also has managed to convince Alexey, that all was the accident, that guy, the journalist from Baltic, is absolute to it it is not pleasant and at following telephone conversation she will say goodbye to it for ever. Moreover, she had then a talk with that seaside lady's man at Alexey. Incident has been settled. Only there was at Balashova in heart a long splinter. Sometimes pricked. And here after a year of home life the Hope has gone to Moscow already for two months. So for a long time they still never left. Before separation the train of rough family quarrels has dropped out. Balashovu that was not pleasant, that the Hope too cheerfully gets ready for a trip, irritated independence of its decision to go there, in Moscow, to pool for what it has spent all the day on dostavanie medspravki... In a word, Alexey was nervous fairly. In the evening it has left, and in the morning of next day already called to the husband on job from a public telephone booth on the Kalininsky prospectus. All at it is good. Have arranged in a perfect hostel. A room for two. («For two?» — has asked again Balashov. "For two", — the wife, not wishing to catch in a question podtekstovyj has easy confirmed sense.) live together from Any of Kostroma which too married and too has agreed with the husband that that will arrive to capital for October holidays... It is necessary to admit fairly, in the first days of freedom Alexey very much it is strong from mind did not descend. Distracted in the beginning that it could relax true after job — to take a small bottle, to drink, go, if wanted, at cinema or all the evening long provaljatsja with the book on a bed. All has then started to become more boringly and tosklivee. The hope called in day. Have started to come and letters. Balashov as the first of them has answered, and scribbled every day on a bedsheet. (To call on hostel watch it was possible only in emergency.) to write tried with humour, joked. And itself at the nights long could not fall asleep. Different foolish thoughts climbed in a head. And pictures. In days of an early youth, as well as the majority of contemporaries, Alexey as required swore and swore, that never and under no circumstances does not marry. Then, hardly having matured, he already assumed for itself(himself) destiny of the family person, but in conversations with friends and girlfriends defied that will establish a free order in the matrimonial life. — I, — shouted it somehow, twenty years', in hop, — any question I will not set to the wife if it is home at daybreak, but also itself I will use full freedom!. However, yet not being married only having girlfriends, and then even, it is possible to tell, and liked, he somehow suddenly with horror and unpleasant surprise has realised once, that it is painfully jealous by nature. It was necessary to its girl to smile to another or to accept the invitation to dance during a party, Balashov absolutely varied, became malicious, rough and dangerous for surrounding with the person. For a year of home life in general the Hope of occasions to scenes did not give. But after all and cases it was not represented, the temptation was not. And now Alexey so sharply and painfully suffered for the first time humiliating suspicions. Early in the morning on the holiday it has arrived to Moscow. All territory of educational small town has appeared the surrounded high metal lattice. On a checkpoint sat the militiaman and the watchman, it is suspicious in four eyes considered everything, demanded the admission. Balashov has called on the internal device, the Hope has come running all shining, sleepy, in a native house dressing gown under somehow thrown over coat shoulders. But Alexey and then have not passed. There was a strange inconvenient feeling, that the wife now as though not person absolutely close to it, not all belongs to it — lives as if in other world where it, the husband, even to start up do not want... It was necessary to both of them to walk along the street till nine o'clock, the necessary official has not come yet and has not written out the temporary admission to Alexey. In the case of a hostel, ancient, the last century a building with columns the input, had one more watch. Have broken and through it and have come to be at last in a room. That (Balashov all is tenacious has examined): two cases, two modest single beds, the written and journal tables, two chairs. The window left on a facade, in a window high and fluffy fur-trees loomed. The meeting was, of course, hot and gentle. However, has again pricked in heart to the mistrustful husband that the neigbour of the wife in a room, appears, three days does not live here — has arrived it blagovernyj from Kostroma, and they have located at relatives-Muscovites for a week. — It was not terrible one? — Has tried to ask every day tone Balashov. — And of that to be afraid? Here children around in the next rooms, — it is careless brjaknula the wife. Alexey has kept silent, but a notch for memory has made. There was still a moment: have started to find out as well as where to live? The hope has offered a variant: she will agree with the commandant of a hostel that he has allowed to spend the night to the husband on an empty seat three nights, and through the general watch, on street, it will pass under Igor's admission such... — What else Igor? — Well the guy, the neighbour, studies too. Has left to me the admission, and itself has gone home. — What for has left? — Well for you! For you! For you has left! Really not clearly? — The Hope has added a sound. There was one more notch. But holidays, it is necessary to recognise, have passed fine. Alexey drove the wife across Moscow in which not too for a long time studied five years at university, showed it liked corners of a city. Four days have flown as four seconds. It has left home. To hope remained to study still almost month. And suddenly the terrible melancholy has pulled hard on Balashova at home in the first days. It was the melancholy even not so much because it missed on the wife, how much because she lives there in the distance, and lives, maybe, lines knows as. And here has still begun. First, the ugly dream where the wife saw to it other man in the most mean poses and situations has dreamt it. And secondly, day three did not arrive from it neither calls, nor letters successively. What's happened? And here itself has ripened in Alexey's head the strategic plan of calm of the disturbed soul. Or, on the contrary, — rastravlenija. On Thursday after job it has gone on station and took the ticket to Moscow on Friday. The Hope next morning called, he, as always, has told, that misses, waits, likes, kisses. «You were not ill?» — the Hope has asked with anxiety. «Is a little, — he has answered. — after a dinner I will ask for leave and I will go otlezhivatsja». Has sat down in a fast train in the evening, it was tormented without a dream all road (and could not sleep, and the child-shouter in a compartment has got) and in six mornings has come to be in capital. Nerves have been already strained decently, and it was necessary to kill still whole, the truth as in winter short, day. It has gone in «alma mater», has heard there even to one lecture in the Big audience of the professor-philologist liked by all students Zadneprovsky (has not had a little cry nearly), has visited a hostel where has lived as he considered, the best years of the life, on the American film in familiar "Drummer" to trifles then descended, after a session long stood on to a hump of the Big Stone bridge and steadfastly looked in svintsovo-dirty water... Hours per six evenings when already in a night way it was dark, Balashov has reached to educational small town. For all day it has intercepted pair of pies with cottage cheese and has drunk pair of mugs of beer. Now, he has thought, to eat, but already terribly there was no time. It has descended from the bus, accurately lighting matches and noticing thus as hands disgustingly jump, has lighted and has gone along a metal fencing. Turned in the face of sleet. Alexey has lifted an astrakhan collar of a leather coat (bought this summer together with Hope — how much pleasure was!), has got from "cut-away" points, has stuck on a nose, more reliably having covered them from sticky snow a peak of an astrakhan cap. Ordinary it did without points (only cinema yes the TV in them looked), but now the maximum aggravation of all feelings, including sight was necessary for it. As he also assumed, soon in a fencing lattice the crack was found out. Someone, probably, has specially done a manhole — iron rods have been bent, and the person of average komplektsii quite could — if very much it is necessary to it! — to squeeze on forbidden territory for strangers. Balashovu very much it was necessary, and it has climbed through. For about a minute has stood in naked wet bushes, trying to orient, and has managed precisely to define, where there is case "In". Soon it already was under familiar fur-trees which so in a New Year's way it is picturesque, it remembered, were looked from Nadezhdinoj rooms. Its window was on the ground floor the eighth at the left, he is Alexey what for has fixed even in the official arrival. It was shone. And here during this important moment for the further events, it is necessary to note especially, in shower Balashova vspolohnulas serious struggle. It stood under fur-trees, looked at a shone window behind which there was more lives a wife liked by it, and fluctuated. The variant number one was that: quietly to get over through the same hole in a fencing back in a city on freedom, to go on station, to get on a train on 23.00, to leave home and till the end of the days the slightest hint not to recollect this silly voyage to Moscow. The exit number two was even more preferable: to come on-ljudski into doors, to leave to the watchwoman as a deposit the passport and to pass in a room to beloved Hope. And to be explained to it in love. He has chosen the third way. The district was opened, therefore Alexey has carefully looked round, convinced, that around it has not appeared not a soul, and fast step, evading from fur-tree paws, has come nearer to a window. He has had time to notice, that curtains are closed leaky, once again on-bird's krutanul by a head to the right-to the left, has cleaned a peak of a cap from a forehead and has almost nestled points on glass... It as if shibanulo a stone on a head. On Nadezhdinoj beds where they still so spent recently holidays and nights, rolled, half having taken cover a blanket, the dark young guy, with moustaches, a small beard and a hairy breast. Wife Balashova, Hope, sat next on a chair in not clasped dressing gown, its breasts have been shamelessly bared, wheaten hair are uncombed, the snub-nosed nouse screwed up the face fun. In a hand it held a thick glass tumbler with beer or wine, at the guy the vessel also has been clamped in a swarty hairy hand with drink. They, probably, have just clinked glasses and, laughing, were going to to take... The first, impulsive, the desire as if a prick has pulled Alexey's hand — sharahnut on glass a fist. But it was kept by any miracle. The bifurcation strange feeling has captured all its being. On the one hand, it has been killed, crushed and crumpled, with another — tested even any voluptuous sensation in a shower, that its guesses and suspicion so have naturally proved to be true. «All — death!» — has flashed in his head. He has suddenly heard each section of the intense muscles, and the head became clear and empty as if it has just guessed the most complicated crossword puzzle. Further it operated intuitively and dared, but, strange business, to it carried as the sleepwalker. It has bypassed, stealthily, the case and has glanced in not curtained off window vahtyorskoj rooms. The watchwoman, the granny with blue grey hairs, watched TV and knitted a stocking. Balashov it is silent, without a scratch has opened one for another both entrance doors and has on tiptoe passed in a corridor, having turned for a corner. To it nobody has met. Having reached a door of 20th room where the crime was committed now, he in meditation has tarried. Doors, of course, have been locked from within. To try to break? At once it can and not turn out. To knock? The effect of suddenness will be gone. It has removed the misted over points, has carefully wiped their handkerchief, has hidden in a case both quietly vysmorkalsja. And here to it in a head the idea has rushed. It has snatched out a purse, not having found dvushki, has got from a trifle a ten-kopeck coin and has returned hardly back on a corridor to a hall. There there were two long-distance cabins (from which more often and the Hope called to it) and nearby on a wall the city call box lonely hung. Balashov has dialled number of watch of this case "In" and when the watchwoman took a tube, it it is silent (before watch was no more than thirty steps), but has convincingly asked: — The husband of Hope Ogorodnikovoj from the twentieth room calls, will invite, please, it to phone — it is very necessary! — Now, — the granny has peevishly answered. Balashov, hardly having hesitated, has thrown with a warm tube a hook and has dexterously dropped in in a box of the long-distance automatic machine. He sensitively heard, how the watchwoman, continuing to grumble, prosharkala by, as it pobarabanila at a door as the Hope has scaredly answered: «Now! Now!», — and, after a minute has run in a lobby. After it has rustled back and the old woman... Then it very quickly left a close box, has come to be at the twentieth, has pressed the handle and has become hollow inside. — And? — The guy from bed was threw up. — Greetings! — Alexey has friendly told, having swallowed a clod in a throat. — that, on a disco have gone? — Yes is not present, — uncertainly, wrinkling a forehead, the dark-haired has answered. — have solved here houses pozabavljatsja... — Good fellows! And it is correct! — has cheerfully exclaimed Balashov and has put a finger to lips: — Tssss!. It has risen on the right, for a case. The door has swung open and its unique wife Hope has flown. — You represent, Ashot, the muzhik, probably, called, and communication have interrupted! — she has said, hardly having been out of breath, from a threshold. Also has suddenly seen Alexey... The hope has jumped aside back, its person has painfully flashed, eyes have glazed over for instant animal fear. It has thrown out the left hand, an open palm as if pushing away the husband, and has unexpectedly and absolutely ridiculously screamed: — The impudent person! While Balashov made the way here by watch, used cunning with phone, zaskakival in a room, he, strangely enough, did not think, that will make during last instant when will look to Hope in eyes. Decisions were not, it as if oslab for some seconds but when this has sounded crazy «the Impudent person!» — wild explosion of fury sodrognul it. Alexey has understood, that now will kill the person... And during its same instant has shaken violent feeling of love to the wife. He suddenly has clearly realised, that it any more it, that he never any more will not kiss her, will not touch its breast, will not hear from it tender: «Lyoshenka!» It is lost for it for ever! Any intoxicating shameful wave has risen to a throat, and Balashov was frightened, that this second is scattered at it from tear eyes. That guy, naked, under a blanket, on the happiness during all this fantastic scene has not published a sound. Alexey has suddenly recollected him and, having clamped white fists in coat pockets, has overcome enormous effort of will all sick pressure, has turned on heels in its party and has squeezed out: — Means, on a disco do not go? Well-well!. As they say, happily to have a rest... It has drawn near to a door (the Hope continued to remain in a tetanus), has turned the handle and from a threshold already with deadly despair wished to throw something reckless, like «Greetings!», or «CHao!», or, even better, «the Buzzing baj!», but from its throat it was pulled out only any ugly klyokot. It floated on a corridor and felt, how eyes starts to burn down with tears. It has accelerated a course, has almost run by the struck dumb watchwoman who something to it has shouted, and has directed to a check point. The intolerable pain drilled an interior, it, not restraining any more, indecently sobbed navzryd. Has dropped on road a glove, has thought suddenly to bend down behind it, but, having given up as a bad job, only has even fast rushed to a checkpoint. — The end! The end to all!. Alexey has flown through a watch corridor to a saving exit, has had time to notice the thrown up persons of the old man of the watchman and the young militiaman and was pulled out on street open space. Already night curled. On a line with the lighted headlights streams of cars rushed with a roar. Their light as if in photos, it shone brightly and washed away in the opinion of Balashova. The roar and a rumble have filled all world. Alexey for an instant has stopped, has inhaled for something a full breast of crude air and, falling towards to a wind, has run forward. Iridescent headlights of cars radiated, appear, not only light, but also heat … 1985
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© Rosedkin Sergey Nikolaevich, 2001
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