- Sergey Rosedkin -
		p r about z and
	Main | News | Cut-away | fotobio | Prose | About Dostoevsky | J. Roberts | Humour | Non-fikshn | Criticism | Virgin Pussy
	Asfiksija The story 1 Night call to a door always not to good. Besides evening has stood out rough, family-scandalous. Though — at what here "family"? Simply scandalous. With former wife Michael Borisovich could not razmenjatsja-part in any way so and after divorce a third month continued to live under one ceiling and on a habit ssoritsja-swear as before. The day before Michael Borisovich has come home already in the first to hour with a terrible headache, has laid down on a folding bed, fell asleep hardly, screwing up the face from nakatov a pain breaking a cranium. Comfort did not add also own mean peregar — a consequence of a two-day New Year's feast. One only thought-dream also pleased: to sleep, under a shower otmoknut and — to begin since morning a former, every day, sober life … And here, please, has only just dozed off — tr-r-rl-l-lin-n-n! tr-r-rl-l-lin-n-n! tr-r-rl-l-lin-n-n!. As if who in brains has thrust-has squeezed a spoke — both time, and the second, and the third … In your mother so, excuse My God! — Ljuba! You do not hear, whether that?! — Aha! — the former wife has angrily responded. — the muzhik in the house, and I on night calls will jump!. Has risen, pristanyvaja, light to light did not begin to search-nasharivat also for a slipper did not become — from rage (a call, the reptile, squalled without a stop!), — proshlyopal barefoot in a vestibule, has looked in an eye: any podsvinok at a door skorjachilsja, one hand has rested against leatherette, other call forces. And, it is audible, lows something — exactingly, impudently: a pier, open, your mother!. Whether the student what it is dvoechnik? In twilight koridornom to consider difficultly. Michael Borisovich, understanding, that does nonsense, has returned to a room, half-whisper is angry has informed: — There the young blockhead any … Drunk … — Well also what? — Ljuba even from a wall has not turned. — that you report on me? Open to it, and опохмелúтесь together!. Calls did not interrupt. — Well, everything, now I will kill the villain! Michael Borisovich has resolutely walked in a vestibule and has opened a door. However, — on a chain. In dim light lonely koridornoj bulbs has hardly made out: the boy, absolutely, zapredelno drunk (as soon as standing kept?), has hardly lifted senseless eyes, trying to focus a sight. Without a cap, but a jacket leather, on fur, trousers decent, boots expensive. However all so uhajdakano in a dirt — is clear at once: fell not once. — What's the matter? — Michael Borisovich the voice has made strict, "professorial". — to you of whom? The guy, pushing a hand in a crack over a chain, tried to utter something, but low turned out only. — Everything, all! — has shouted as it is possible more rigidly Michael Borisovich, has knocked-shlyopnul on a hand of the unbidden visitor. — good-bye! Go, go, the young man, go to sleep! And — has slammed a door. However, has not had time to make and two steps, again: tr-r-rl-l-lin-n-n! tr-r-rl-l-lin-n-n! tr-r-rl-l-lin-n-n!. My God, well why to them has dreamt to get this drunk cattle? After all nearby still the whole five apartments, and, them, 93‑я, not the most extreme in section-corridor … When, at last, they will agree to neighbours and will close the general input, will put a coded lock or the on-door speakerphone? Not only that in the afternoon any vagabonds-beggars and shopkeepers-advertisers wander with impunity, call, so still here at night the visitor - "Tatar" appeared … — Perhaps in militia to call? — Absolutely lishne Michael Borisovich has asked. Ljuba has sniffed. Tr-r-rl-l-lin-n-n! tr-r-rl-l-lin-n-n! tr-r-rl-l-lin-n-n!. Well, all! Michael Borisovich, very much urging on itself, raskochegarivaja anger in podvzdohe, has cut light, has quickly pulled house trousers, has thrown with a shirt. — You that? — It was suddenly threw up eks-supruzhnitsa. — do not take in head to open! There, can, their gang whole! — Yes what gang! — Michael Borisovich has waved away, — Lay now … zzzabotlivaja you mine! It has jumped out in a vestibule, has resolutely unlocked-has opened all locks, a chain has thrown off, has opened jerky a door. The boy has recoiled, was straightened, having appeared on half-heads above Michael Borisovicha, has opened hands as for embrace and has rushed in an aperture. Michael Borisovich has rested to it against a breast palms, has stopped, sentencing: «Where? Where?», — has developed hardly and has sensitively pushed in a back: — Go! Go, the young man! Home, home! You were mistaken the address! Having slammed a door, Michael Borisovich far to depart did not become. And — knowingly. Tr-r-rl-l-lin-n-n! tr-r-rl-l-lin-n-n! tr-r-rl-l-lin-n-n!. — Your mother!. The swine!! A reptile!!! — fury has overflowed before breath interception. — Pshyol in-about!!! Michael Borisovich has jerked a door, has seized the guy for a sleeve, has dragged-povolochil on a corridor almost run — whence only forces undertook? However, the drunk puppy did not resist — touched-tripped wadded feet, started up bubbles. Perhaps in the lift it to ship, yes to send downwards? But here the guy utrobno has hiccupped both time, and the second. My God, yes it now blevat will begin! And it is exact! Hardly Michael Borisovich has dragged out the fellow on a street transitive balcony on a ladder platform as that it is powerful zafontaniroval. Fie! Michael Borisovich tychkom has started drunk svintusa downwards on a dark ladder and obtrjas hands. — Pshyol, a pig! The guy it was not visible at all, from darkness, from the following ladder platform, sickening sounds only reached. Here gadstvo, it is necessary to go down tomorrow on the lift that Michael Borisovich hated — always went on foot on a ladder. For physical exercise. 2 Morning has begun meanly. For the health amendment to this target posleprazdnichnyj day was available two ways: to put on easier, to rise on skis yes otmahat on small river of kilometres ten konkovym vigorous style, or, on the contrary, to muffle more warmly, to be loaded in next kafeshnik and to decant pair of small bottles medicinal pivtsa … The second variant has won. Michael Borisovich, of course, about the lift has not forgotten the intention, but was put on a habit on a ladder march. Especially, in the lift fellow travellers could appear, be bent will begin, and on the isolated ladders in their silly house of the "Armenian" project, podi, anybody from normal tenants, except Michael Borisovicha, and did not go. And, here you are — a surprise: that podsvinok night (and who else?) sleeps to itself on a ladder platform, there, where its Michael Borisovich has lowered, sleeps sluggishly and immoderately indifferently in own blevotine, has collapsed. Fuuu! It was necessary to return to the lift. When an hour later Michael Borisovich has come back home slightly cheered up, with two bottles of beer in a package (aaa to walk so to walk!), were blagovernaja has met its terribly interesting message: on a ladder platform between 6‑м and 5‑м floors at their entrance find out a corpse of the unknown young man. Young this and while the unknown person has died, apparently, from asfiksii (asthma) owing to corking of respiratory ways in emetic weights … What is "asfiksija" — it Ljuba-doktorsha could and not specify: still seventeen years ago, when their first and last child was born dead, Michael Borisovich has heard this zmeino-cold suffocating mot. It especially then somehow has painfully amazed, why vrachiha, girlfriend Ljuby, says this vile word with an accent on last syllable — асфиксúя? Has specified then under dictionaries: certainly — асфúксия … However, lines with it, with an accent! Not he thinks of that … It that turns out? Same absolutely absurd thing … poluchaetsja-is left Leaves?. No, it is better not to finish thinking! It was not necessary to push it in a back, oh it is not necessary! It, can, and itself potihonechku has gone down downwards, has left back home … Lines, yes it is absurd any! It cannot be!. The former wife has added is unnecessary: — Its Dyachenko has found out: has bent, thought the person dark blue sleeps, and at that, and makaroniny of nostrils stick out … Michael Borisovich has grown dull has looked: — Makaroniny? From nostrils?. Has passed on kitchen, a door has densely closed, has fussy got beer from a package, has beaten off a stopper about the refrigerator handle, has greedy taken a sip of time, the second, the third … All has had a shower bath. Michael Borisovich up to the end yet did not realise all weight happened, but from melancholy already podtashnivalo. For some reason comparison has jumped out: as if has brought down the person on road. Cars at it otrodjas was not found, but comparison exact: it was gone-rushed on road, was happy, smiled; and suddenly during a uniform ridiculous instant — time! — and another's life konchilas-has broken, and you has broken, under a slope has failed … To hell, to hell, to hell these tracks, any metaphors and comparisons! It would be desirable to raise a howl in a voice. Still yesterday it seemed to Michael Borisovichu, that is worse and gazhe there is no place: neither native at it, nor friends, neither a family, nor the house; ahead — a lonely cold old age somewhere in a communal flat … And here now, what, not that that in a communal flat — in the general chamber? On plank beds?. From confusion of thoughts any one — vague, zanozistaja — especially karjabala a brain, in any way thus not clearing up. Something — with the former wife … Ah, yes! What here to think-guess: Love Fyodorovne is as a gift from heavens. At once all both housing, and personal problems will solve … Sharply it wanted to leave, escape from the house though for a while to keep away all that should be occurred-happen now. Michael Borisovich has set aside beer, has taken out from kitchen zagashnika a grist — two hundred re — has promptly jumped out for a door. Ljuba something has following shouted. Leave all of you me alone! 3 In cafe sat against the stop. Home priplyolsja, already after a dinner, with the forced decision: to get into bed, to sleep off last time (if will fall asleep), and in the morning — to go and surrender. Even its most stupid students and those, possibly, have acquired cardinal thought-idea of a "Crime and punishment" — the normal person to take out a role of the murderer simply not in a condition. Whether to Dostoevsky to believe? However Michael Borisovicha's house was waited by the fresh information — it has deafened, as sudden blow on the person. A corpse have already identified: night the poor fellow it has appeared the son, more correctly, sonny Dzhejranova. Good land! Who such Dzhejranov — to Michael Borisovichu to explain it was not necessary. He, as well as many in Baranove, fine knew: Dzhejranov not only the colonel of regional militia, but also, in combination — one of pahanov-owners of a city. And, from the most abrupt, and can, and — most. However, it not an essence important. More correctly, important, but an essence just not in subtleties gangster "tables of ranks". To Michael Borisovichu was to understand-have a presentiment enough, that Dzhejranov can smear any person on a wall, dust in, flatten out, vkatat in asphalt, in a word, to destroy extrajudicially during a uniform instant. — Has finished badly? — The were has severely bitten. — Yes there was you!. — Michael Borisovich has wearily snapped, has looked zatravlenno from below upwards, was twisted, with tears has squeezed out. — run, run, pawn! And here: tr-r-rl-l-lin-n-n! tr-r-rl-l-lin-n-n! tr-r-rl-l-lin-n-n! — a call, absolutely, as at night: persevering, insolent, impatient. Michael Borisovich has jumped in a fright from a chair, has seized Ljubu by a hand, sdavlenno has screamed: — Do not open! But there and then itself has understood absurdity, infamy of the impulse — has become soft. Ljuba has gone, has opened. Man's voices. Soon the former has exactingly shouted-has called: — Michael, well where you there? Go here! Here a reptile! On influenzal feet has gone. It is insulting, that hop somewhere absolutely isparilsja-has disappeared — and after all even hundred grammes of vodka for spirit to beer has mixed … In a hall two cops — the captain and starlej were piled up. In an emphasis at it have stared. Michael Borisovich mechanically for krestets has got hands — thought, as to ask about what any more will not be. However the captain has asked and it is polite enough: — And you too heard nothing at night suspicious in a corridor? The second has specified: — Calls to doors? Voices? Fight noise? — Not-e-et … — Michael Borisovich, vaguely understanding has not absolutely confidently stretched: something all goes not so, not under the scenario. Has looked on Ljubu, has more firmly repeated: — Anything. We did not hear anything … Slept at night. At us in the afternoon here go on a corridor, rustle … And at night, usually, it is quiet … However, the truth! In the afternoon vagabonds everyones … Michael Borisovich felt, that it would be necessary to stop. And — could not. Ljuba vstrjala: — Excuse, but anything help you we can not.-Che Th did not hear. — Well, if so … — the captain was twisted, has nodded to the partner. — it is fine, have gone further. When the door behind them was closed, Michael Borisovich looked some instants on Ljubu in all eyes and suddenly has awkwardly moved apart-has opened hands, not hoping yet quite. But the wife has shaken towards, has dropped to it, has knocked a cam on a breast, time, another — powerlessly, with despair: — The fool! The torturer! The idiot! — has lifted a tear-stained face. — well, you are eternal in any histories get! In its voice there was so much already forgotten partially tenderness. Michael Borisovich has understood, as itself just about zahnychet-rassiropitsja, has convulsively pressed Ljubu to itself, has fallen asleep, inhaling a smell of its hair so it is familiar pahnuvshih apple colour. — What to do? Ljuba, what to us to do?! — Anything, anything, all will manage! — Ljuba calmed him as small. — nobody saw. You are not guilty … You is not guilty, Misha! So it has turned out … At it, it appears, the little girl on the seventh floor lives — he simply a floor was mistaken. Means, the destiny at it such … And — would be normal! It, speak, the drunk already and the addict … It, tell, the gangster degenerate has already killed someone … Same!. Michael Borisovich almost any more did not listen to babble of the wife. It all is stronger, all compressed it more hotly, is forgotten partially rummaged hands on a back, with ecstasy feeling as under palms familiarly and it is pliable its still young body is bent. It has begun, choking, to kiss it in breast depression in the ground, in neck, has found at last lips — has dropped greedy, is insatiable, as the person choking with an asthma … drops to an oxygen pillow — Ljuba!. Ljubushka!. The darling!. — he was in time pristanyvat, for an instant interrupting kisses. — it is not important! It is important nothing! You and I! We will live! All will be, as before!. It has carried away it in a room. Impatiently, as if a newly-married couple, they have stretched-have spread out a sofa bed, have fussy undressed, helping each other, have rushed to bed … Already at daybreak in absolutely weakened Michael Borisovicha's head while it after the wife who has fallen asleep on his hand with a blissful smile on swelled lips, was going to to plunge into a sweet dream-rest, mertsnula blasphemous enough thought: «If for this purpose it was necessary to kill, that …» He never thought (or has forgotten), that the happiness can be such sharp, such exciting, such all-consuming. And how much it ahead!!! 4 He and has fallen asleep, smiling. And, of course, did not know, did not expect (it is not let to the person know the destiny!), that next day when Ljuba after a registry office and church it will decide to be run on shops, and it straight will go home, to make a family-celebratory dinner, — Victor Dyachenko, the nearest the neighbour from 95‑й will be secured. Will glance simply as though on a habit, tridtsatnik on a hang-over to intercept, and then to conversation, looking pathetically in most I smother, and will give out: a pier, it was not slept to it the day before yesterday, on the night of the third, here and uvidal it is casual in an eye as Michael Borisovich any drunk hmyrja drags on a corridor … Also Michael Borisovich of so as if have thrown to it a neck with a loop-udavochku will feel, and to it it became difficult, it is absolutely impossible to breathe … 2003
çç ● èè
© Rosedkin Sergey Nikolaevich, 2001
E-mail: emp-reports@fustercluck.com