- Sergey Rosedkin -
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BARRACKS P. 5.	The chapter VIII In an infirmary I have understood, that it is necessary for me to shake for preservation of habitual pseudo-intellectual inertness and humility to destiny. It is necessary to search for an exit. To run, then to ring out in disbat — it is silly. To be hung up, as Mosin, nevertheless not very much it would be desirable. CHlenovreditelstvom to be engaged — it is terrible, and you will remain then till the end of the days lame or kosorukim... Besides I will repeat, I at all was not the madman or at least simply psychounbalanced person. All these variants of definition of own destiny were based on destinies of other children to which could serve during one time with me and the fate predopredelenno had appeared to get to building armies. Here only a few cases. Without any philosophical generalisations. The facts. SHajdulin. The Tatar from Kazan. My appeal. Has received in half a year of service the letter from the wife — has grown fond of another, demands divorce. SHajdulin, the guy dense, self-confident and rather impudent, has broken during the moment. Has run. It have caught, into position have penetrated, have excused. But the fate, probably, was predopredelenna, after rehearsal action has followed. SHajdulin worked in a warm nourishing place — in food warehouses as the loader. Audit has found out there the big shortage. I do not know, our Tatar was guilty of what measure, but he has again run. It was caught also by distances for calm ten days of a lip. It has stayed, left and... Has run. It have caught. In a commandant's office insulator has swallowed three sewing needles. To it have performed operation, have cured, judged and have soldered six months disbata... Many at us in rote seriously considered, that SHajdulin has clinked glasses. However, unlike Mosin, to it for some reason has not carried. Other case. Young, salabonchik, from natsmenov, badly speaking Russian and in general any silent, hammered, without friends. Has got to servitude to the criminal grandfather. That time has ordered to wash to it trousers. Young has washed badly and has received pair of slaps in the face. Has escaped and walked on a city five days. Have found, have punished. Hardly there has passed time, the grandfather has ordered to it to bring by New year «otkul hosh» a bubble of vodka or wine. The frightened fellow has left on job together with everything, and to a part has not returned in the evening. As it was then found out, all eleven days he hid on cellars and boiler-houses, ate lines knows than. At it even plans any were not — simply was afraid to seem on eyes to the grandfather without a bottle, played for time, that's all. Have given to the poor fellow of one and a half year disbata. And in the next part too here such intimidated salaga has hit in run, even has reached to the house to far Georgia, but has been brought by back native grandfather and even practically it is not punished. The matter is that the grandfather at this shaky character gruzinchika has appeared the Hero of Soviet Union known for the feat all over the country. Has carried to the runner! Perhaps therefore ran?. As to chlenovreditelstva free or involuntary, samostrelov at us, by itself, done not happen for to be shot in a construction battalion there is nothing, the weapon is not present. But after all the mutilation or death to the person at its fragility are provided literally during any instant of its life and at any even the most harmless and unarmed circumstances... However, I again talk profusely. The facts. One only the facts. I will not be much. Only two. That fellow-ochkarik with whom we in the first days of a soldier's life have refused to clean a toilet and as a result scraped some days of a floor in barracks, has served all month. Once, before the Newest year, in the morning, already thoroughly popahav, we have crowded all brigade while Pamir has disappeared, on the first smoke break round a fire. Mustafaev has sent a two, including ochkarika, for fire wood. That has got in nearby under construction, with already erected walls the panel house. It is literally in a minute those who stood faced to the house, have seen, how ochkarik has jumped out of an aperture of the second floor on a plate still not protected balcony, zatravlenno has turned back back, in darkness of a room, and has jumped downwards. It would seem, no trouble — all the second floor, below snow, but ochkarik, fallen at a landing, for some reason did not hurry to rise, and has started to roll out feet, not publishing any sounds. Someone from us even has shouted: hey supposedly that has sprawled, that you play about?. And it, having shown, continued the. Here it also was the most terrible. I all time while the fellow took out from under a wall while it laid backwards on boards, somehow strange having turned out the calmed down feet while it pushed in arrived "fast", I all time, not coming off, looked at its open mouth, frosty steam pushing out by pushes, and with horror, is somehow perceived imagined, it during this moment suffers what tearing apart physical pain. It could not moan at all though all time was in consciousness. And the horror was that a wadded padded jacket, thick quilted trousers, rigid boots were given to the guy by a usual kind, and this incomprehensibility of that has occurred to it, whence the pain — oppressed especially. In hospital as then it became known when have released the sapper from clothes, were terrified: sugar edges of the broken bones stuck out of both feet below knees through the broken through meat and a skin. Already time later, before sending home, ochkarik spent the night at us in barracks. There was it on crutches and now on for the rest of the life. Naturally, we have rushed to ask him, what yes as then has occurred. It appears, it collected fire wood in a room of a new building, has taken a great interest, has reflected. The hail was suddenly distributed: — Hey! Salaga! Well, go here! — in a doorway the unfamiliar sergeant. Any foolish instinct has worked, the fellow, seconds not deliberating, has rushed away and has jumped. After all the second floor only. But... And who is guilty? Even more silly tragical case has occurred on one of new buildings in the summer. At height besides the second floor where like not bojazno, not terribly, the earth near absolutely, two sappers, the foreman and the subordinate, have started quarrel on building woods. The sergeant undertook to bring up the private soldier supposedly badly plough. That has answered, vzbryknulsja. Little by little also were linked. And into such passion have entered, so have got excited, that an instant later have crashed down from woods ozem. The foreman has curtailed to itself a neck and has calmed down forever, at the sapper the hand has seriously crackled. It, of course, and in a normal life unexpected death happen pretty often, but in army see  destruction only the coevals that operates on mentality especially melancholy. Yes besides, thought, that you are in the given place and at present not on the will, forces to perceive the prospective near death as especially unfair sentence of destiny. Very much ridiculous tragedies occurred, in spite of the fact that for a life and health of each of us except us our commanders and any building chiefs answered. And here podi you!. It is said that in a peace time in army, say, perishes (in hearings it is spoken even: something is given supposedly like the order for  destruction) three percent of staff. Perhaps, means — during doctrines? I do not know. I know only, that three there or not three percent, but — it is not not enough. In one of regimental broadcasts I did somehow the reporting from industrial meeting of staff of a part in which it has been fixed, that for three quarters 197 … year in ours to a regiment have occurred seven accidents to a deadly outcome. Seven! The majority of troubles occurred on building sites. Built quickly, very quickly, even faster! To hand over objects as at us it is accepted, it is necessary before the planned terms, by holidays. About safety precautions repeated at all meetings, but when terms drew in, it appeared somehow not to it. Primordial «perhaps!» Quite often gained, but sometimes there were failures, and the next human life burnt down unexpectedly and silly... Last day summer month ploughed till the evening. In a proslavish carriage which have only just dragged on a new place, is already closer to a dawn have started to line definitively grandmas, to close dresses. Has darkened. — Hey, the foreman, — has impatiently thrown the tired construction superintendent to the sergeant, — make bystrenko light, at least the temporary. That has ordered to one of sappers to show sharpness. The sapper has shown: from next bindjugi has stretched in a doorway the bared wires and has suspended a bulb. It became good. It is light. Business tritely is more cheerful, and soon all was ready. When the construction superintendent, masters, foremen have left, last the remained sappers — not that, the homebrew electrician, and another — has started to close a carriage. It has turned out a bulb and, quiet, is more dense pritvoril a door upholstered with sheet iron. It so sharahnulo, that it there and then, the poor creature, has lost consciousness. By there was to a regiment a brigade of sappers, have thought — drunk, the brother, rolls, but have then understood, that to what. Have rushed to do to the fellow artificial breath, have dragged it to road... Then doctors have established, that if have correctly made artificial breath if have left the soldier on a place before car arrival — it still could be rescued... Other moment, and besides electric current plus elementary barbarity have ruined the person. Have managed a truck crane to put tochnyohonko under a high-voltage line. By itself, the arrow has touched wires, and the sapper-slinger keeping during this instant for hooks, even to sigh was not in time. Especially terrible there were histories when young healthy guys came to an end only on own thoughtlessness. For example, one strojbatovsky the dandy, already from old men, has washed the habe in gasoline. Very much it would like clean to go, and did so many. It has given a wash trousers and a jacket, hardly has dried, has got on on itself and there and then, sekundochki not hesitating, has begun to get a light from a lighter a cigarette. In schitannye instants from live, just full forces, desires, complacency, a self-trust of the person there was on the earth something charred, shapeless, dreadful... But I personally more all was shaken by history of a mutilation of military builder Mukhin from 2nd roty our regiment. Judge. It, Mukhin, the rural quiet clodhopper whence from under Kursk, to army robil the tractor operator in collective farm. Here it at once have planted on "shassik", brisk traktorishko on wheels with a small body ahead of a cabin. Here is how he already subsequently, komissujas clean on physical inability, told to us before departure about that ill-starred bottom. — I to one woman have brought up kitchen set from shop. It to me in kind "Moscow" puts a bubble. I spervonachalu even refused, as felt. Has persuaded. You to me, grit, help still cases on walls to hang out and — we will have dinner. The woman young, the very picture of health, the maid almost and — one. I look — hints. More shortly, I to it have hanged out cases on kitchen, tables-stools have placed, have drunk, by itself is clear, and had a snack... Well, there all such other! I have gone "shassik" to garage to put. I am was insolent strong — that there a vodka glass under good zakus. I went, know, on waste ground from the third microdistrict in the sixth. I look — ba-and-atjushki! — the patrolman bortovik with gansami overtakes me. Here it kajuk! Know, from them it is better in such kind, under baldoj, to pull. And they have stopped and already hands wave — the person ten. I on gases, have wagged, yes — by. Again they bypass me also the lorry are across expensive. That to do? I have jerked is direct across the field, naprjamki. They for me... E-e-e-eh, I would leave, robja, yes the cursor at mine kerogazki has decayed! And here they were accepted, swine, me to beat. Oh also beat! In the beginning fists. Then, as has fallen down, to kick undertook. Boots under grudki — all edges crack. And in the end one strekozyol zavodilkoj from the car as to me under dyhalo steganyot... Good. Have then thrown to itself in a body and — in a commandant's office. There — in the chamber. I lay, I feel, robja, in a stomach burns down, as a blowtorch. Something I think, have beaten off seriously. I lay, I suffer. Suddenly gans one vvalivaet. — Well, — shouts, — pjan sapyorskaja, rise a floor mp! I speak: — I can not, — I speak, — you, reptiles, me have beaten off all stomach... Three have dropped in in the chamber still the person yes again to kick me. Here in a stomach such rez, such pain — as if they to me in guts have thrust a knife. I as will shout a good floor-mat. Them reptiles has reached, at last, what not jokes I joke. Have begun to fuss, to hospital me have brought. There doctors have begun to groan-zaahali and at once in area me by plane. Thought — will not take, it was not bent nearly on road. At first one operation, then another — guts have appeared porvatymi. Have hardly sewed... Mukhin told all it, of course, not for the first time, but has got agitated so, that has started to stammer, its hands have begun to jump, the person has flashed bright red stains. Have given it physical inability and komissovali home — to live and have a rest. — And all? — You ask. No, I answer, not all. To that extreme gansu which, possibly, by nonsense has struck Mukhin the steel clockwork handle on guts, distances three years. The others have got off an easy fright... So, all exclusive exits from grown hateful for some months strojbatovskoj me at all did not seduce a life. It was necessary to think how at least to facilitate the existence. And again to me has carried. When after illness has passed month ones and a half and there has come a new limit to my despair, I was temporarily put the assistant to the geodesist instead of left in short-term holiday home the sapper. All the week long I was on special position from a brigade, dragged for the old man-geodesist (the old man literally words, was to it of years for sixty) a tripod-support, a wardrobe trunk with a level and a theodolite, held a striped rejku-ruler during measuring jobs. There was free time a great lot when it is possible to relax, pokemarit somewhere in bindjuge, to stay to one, but, the main thing, there was a possibility to seek for a decent place of service. I was put in one strojkontoru, another where, on hearings, artists — and designers on building, in a construction battalion, in a new city where posters, slogans, stands with sotsobjazatelstvami and other evident propaganda were piled up literally continually were required, — the legion was required. However I did not keep up — warm zakutki with smells of paints and solvents everywhere already were pozanjaty quicker homebrew rafaeljami. And here, when, appear, already any hopes does not remain, and I left again together with the branch on a spring champing dirt on kopku the next trench, and Pamir has already mischievously promised me, a net young, for a three to plough to force, the God has heard my gloomy prays. The construction superintendent of ours strojuchastka, the business anxious muzhik of years of thirty with trailing Zaporozhye moustaches, has called me in the carriage. — desjatiletku you have? — I have. — To draw, heard, you can? — Posters-slogans I can. — And landscapes also it is not necessary to us. You here that, paint to start tens tablets «the Dangerous zone! Pass is forbidden!» You will consult — shnyryom I will make. I very much would like to consult. And I have consulted. Also became shnyryom. And if more validly, without strojbatovskogo a slang — the assistant to the construction superintendent. Duties — quite intelligent: to draw-make out, to conduct the sheet of exits, to write demands for building materials, kalkirovat drawings, to carry out express commissions, that already gave the chance single free circulation almost on all city, to support cleanliness in proslavish and so on. In a word, the life was changed, as at the Ali-woman: from a dirt — yes in knjazi. Was, the truth, first time it is not absolutely convenient before the children from branch. It turned out as though, that they process me, for officially I continued to be registered in a brigade on the carpenter-concreter of the second category and received grshi from the general copper. But justifications it is possible to find a cart and the small cart in such cases. First, assistants from sappers were available for each construction superintendent on all sites. Secondly, if not I become shnyryom someone another — piously the place is empty does not happen. Thirdly, children, even Mnejan with Movsesjanom, forward me have ceased to see in it a problem, on the contrary, they have understood, what benefit for branch, that one of them — the right hand of the construction superintendent: it is enough to tell, that shnyr had possibility to cover any sapyorsky a prorumble in the sheet. Fourthly... Though, I think, will suffice to be justified. To me has had luck, that's all. It became easier to breathe. Even mad Pamir, looking in proslavish, talked now to me though and haughtily, but efficiently, without mean rudeness. Already for one it I agreed to suffer not very valid word "shnyr" and to sweep every day a floor in proslavish bindjuge. The chapter IX To me dreams — I lay on a beach. The sun irons my cheeks velvet ladoshkoj and cautiously blows on the closed eyelids heating breath... But the consciousness emerges gradually from depths of mine "I", and a dream, being dissolved, breaking up to separate molecules-pictures, is absorbed in brain cages of memory. I tjanus-stretch with such enthusiasm that all joints and sustavchiki mine dembelskogo bodies respond a crunch, iron extensions of a rigid soldier's bed creak. I open eyes. Later the October sun last splash zharosti continues to heat my person through glasses. I rub eyelids kostjashkami index fingers, I have a seat on bed, I am definitively materialised in today and I recollect — Masha! Yesterday she has told to me, choking from kisses: «Really you do not understand? I do not want, that you left!.» Masha!. In barracks — silence. Time midday, means, daily details, on duty on a hut with the free man on duty, — on preparation in a dining room. Though after night third change I slept all hour four, I feel vigorously. Today I should make an act. Te-e-ek-with, bystrenko we do lifting... But what is it? I bewildered play two vile thingummies which have been found out under a bed on a place of my brand new shining boots. Worn out, it is bad chishchennye, wiped in ankles to holes kersey bahily call me feeling of disgust. Here gadstvo — again! I splash barefoot to the man on duty watching for an input in rotu, and strictly I question: who from strangers passed in barracks while I slept? The fellow is rumpled, it is visible, preduprezhdyonzapugan, but I convince him, that no trouble to it will not occur. The man on duty almost on an ear whispers to me: — Kelemjan. Aha, now it is clear. Today is on duty on rote Ashot Mnejan which before a demobilisation has made the way in younger sergeants, orders branch. Kelemjan, the scoop from 3rd roty, beginning to serve one year ago in ours, came, probably, on a visit to the fellow countryman and, the skunk nasty, vnagluju has made an exchange of boots. Being expressed on-strojbatovski, priburel to a limit: really he does not understand, what number will not pass? Soon appears in barracks Mnejan. I to it am short, but vigorously I explain a situation. Ashot not in delight from such impudence of the fellow countryman, he is revolted (we with it there were absolutely friends and as the person on duty on a hut he in the answer for all barracks incidents), calls in 3rd rotu, something sharply shouts in a tube on-armjanski. Through pair minutes prikandybivaet in my brilliant boots Kelemjan. It plotnenky, bandy-legged, all any grease, dirty, in a filthy pea jacket. Its eyes wet radiate good-natured rudeness. I throw to it under its feet zadripannye oporki and I will add pair tender sloves. Kelemjan, pulling down from the for a long time not washed paws my boots, with sincere, the impudent fellow, bewilderment lisps: — E-e-e, ara, zachem abida? I see — sapagi pad kravat. Hazjain net. Give primerju... Tvai sapagi, ara? Atkuda I knew? On, beri, mne ne it is pity!. Well with such obormotom you will do? While it is more ridiculous, but I can present, what blotju will be closed up this free Kelemjan in half a year. And in general, kleptomanija — rather popular illness in our barracks. I for the sake of interest after the first losses of the things have decided to fix these losses in a notebook. As a result for two years the following register entitled by me with bitter irony has turned out: TRIBUTE TO COMPANY HALF-SHEEP 10 roubles. The book («Sketches bursy»). A belt brjuchnyj. 3 roubles. Trousers. Pilotka. Pilotka. Pilotka. Hours. Boots. The right boot. A towel. Toilet accessories (a soap tray, a tooth-brush in a case, a tooth-paste). A towel. Toilet accessories. Epaulets. Two bedsheets. A towel. Points. A towel. A pillow. Endowed. Undercollars (5 pieces). A towel. A pen. The shaving machine tool. A towel. Boots. A bedsheet. The book («the Cold house»). Cigarettes (3 packs). A towel. The book (Konan Doyle). A towel. A towel. A towel. A pen. Two bedsheets. A mattress. A towel. A towel. Boots. A towel. A towel. The list, I understand, wild. Towels stole on portjanki, bedsheets — on undercollars, toilet accessories — for the report before the commander on construction, blankets-mattresses-pillows — exchanged the worst on the best, hours-money-pens — and so it is clear... But for what, for example, books library tibrili and the more so points with a dioptry a minus two? Here it absolutely to understand it is impossible. Whether It is necessary to explain, that for uvorovannye bedsheets, towels, the book — it was necessary to pay off for all to the victim with the money. Anybody and never searched for thieves. Have got used. And to whom it is necessary? It is possible to solve a problem easier, without pressure. For couple of days to a pay komroty captain Borzenko in the afternoon while the staff is not present the house, arranges bed-clothes audit in barracks, fixes all torn and at all disappeared bedsheets, pillowcases, towels. In day of delivery of the salary in office near to the cashier the captain and the foreman sit. For a bedsheet it is cut off from sapyorskoj pays three roubles, for a towel — ones and a half, for a pillowcase — rup. Fined the person to forty is typed sometimes. Thus there are following dialogues: The sapper: — I did not tear! The captain: — And me does not interest. Other sapper: — At me have stolen a bedsheet, I am not guilty! The captain: — So I, whether that, will pay for it, the sonny? The sapper: — I to pay not bu-at-udu! The captain: — That, blot zaela, the sonny? I blot vyshibu!. The third sapper: — the Companion the captain, at me both bedsheets are whole, look — the error left. The captain: — You them have changed, the sonny. The sapper: — Yes what sense? To whom to pay for me hunting? The captain (having wrinkled a forehead): — Well it is fine. The foreman, from it do not take... In general, it is necessary to tell, it is heavy to communicate with captain Borzenko. Low growth, stocky, with tyosanymi features and unpleasantly lead sight, he if would be the actor, for certain would play roles politsaev, leaders of gangs, tyrants and other vyrodkov. Liked prislove "sonny" he says the how others say a word "swine". It served one time as the deputy chief of a staff of our regiment, and then it have thrown (or have dumped — in a construction battalion rotami lieutenants) on a post of the commander of 5th roty for a raising in it of discipline and an order order. The regiment has sighed with simplification, 5th rota has sighed. ZHora did not allow to sigh — continuous checks, audits, frisks, reprisals, cavils, punishments... ZHora liked to sentence. — I to be cut long I will not begin: time and — tama (that is — on a lip)! Has not understood, the sonny, — once again. Yet has not understood — still you will go to have a rest... I blot vyshibu! ... So, my boots are returned, the mood still is. And as to it not to be... Masha!. It is necessary to walk once again under the report. In the evening — report-back election Komsomol meeting. I officially pass a rank komsorga to 5th roty young Brazhkinu. Event like and not world level but the matter is that the report accounting was written by me not absolutely normal. I have decided to tell at meeting the truth. That's all. I only have used up three tetradnyh pages. «Companions members of the Komsomol! Me have selected the secretary of committee VLKSM roty eight months ago. What it was possible to make for this time? I will tell at once — practically anything. All of you know, that the Komsomol life in our division does not boil, does not burn, and hardly glimmers. The only thing, maybe, as is are rare meetings (for eight their months was two), which a little than differ from the industrial: commanders, foremen act on them, conversation goes about performance sotsobjazatelstv, military both a labour discipline and other important, but to Komsomol subjects things having the indirect relation. At us in the primary Komsomol organisation absolute uplachivaemost payments. But unless it is plus if to face the truth? As at us payments are going to, we know everything, yes is silent. I as the secretary, moreover having called for secure zampolita roty companion Kasyanov, am compelled to take away directly from hands of the cashier given out money, to count payments, and remained to give to the military builder if, the truth, the commander roty for the torn bed-clothes does not requisition these rests. And thus I listen to discontent exclamations — members of the Komsomol membership dues do not wish to pay, do not want. Though at many it, so to say, the unique Komsomol commission. Here again at once about other monetary problem. Some members of the Komsomol from last, May, an appeal simply beg me to take away from the cashier their pay, to hold at themselves, and then, taking payments, imperceptibly to return them other money. Why? Besides all know: so-called grandfathers including members of the Komsomol, simply select money at the young. Here about what it is necessary to speak at Komsomol meetings! It is necessary to speak and about why we in division had such abnormal conditions. Why such cases, how with Merzobekovym are possible? For soldiers of last appeal briefly I will explain: senior sergeant Merzobekov, the member of the Komsomol when it was ousted by foremen for infringement of military discipline, has got drunk completely and terrorised the whole evening rotu — ran on barracks, shouted, fought, offended whom popadja. And all suffered, though in rote without small hundred twenty persons... I speak now about an old case, instead of about today's not to pass for the sneak. At us after all it is not accepted to speak about it, and it would be necessary, and at Komsomol meetings. It is necessary to bring up questions and such: why at us Komsomol commissions have all the person 10-15, and carry out them honesty and it is less than that. And who will carry out commissions, aktivnichat if there is more than half of members of the Komsomol — and it is perfectly known! — have received Komsomol tickets together with identity cards at the last minute before sending in army. At us for some reason it is accepted to exhaust literally recruits in numbers VLKSM. It is necessary to speak about larceny in rote which has got already really mass character. It is necessary to speak about inertness of many military builders living, as in a dream. To speak about officers who suppose at times from its part the roughnesses humiliating advantage of military builders... It and many other things become painful we should at least start to speak about all and already at today's meeting, and then led by new committee of Komsomol to try to change a life in our division to the best. For now I make the offer: committee VLKSM activity roty and mine as secretary for the accounting period to recognise as unsatisfactory. » As they say — amin! I fine understand, that "report" — is mad. But really I am absolutely not capable of an act? Really to tell at least a small slice of the truth presently and in such conditions it is impossible?. However, will suffice menzhevatsja. I already showed the speech to Masha. She somehow has strange smiled, returning a writing-book, has kissed me. — What you still the child! For it I also like you!. The child? Well is not present, I try to prove just the vzroslost. However, and JUra SHibarev sceptically smiles, continually urges on: — Spin do not spin, and before fathers-commanders will not see your performance, to you and vjaknut will not give. Here also keep! Recollect, how to me councils gave... JUra SHibarev, the Muscovite, serves on half a year less me, our cots stand end-to-end, we fine have converged characters. The guy it nice, opened, besides, as well as I, — passionate knigochej. Recollects JUra here what. Half a year back he solved a capital problem: to enter or not party. Before the appeal it have accepted the candidate for members of the CPSU, and term here has risen. But by this time JUra has thought, their moral shape of builders of communism has had a look at some senior party fellows, has recollected about the direct, hot character and has come to conclusion — in party it nothing it. — You understand, — he whispered hot, with emotion in night silence, — as there can be rascals communists and how other communists can, seeing rascals in the numbers to allow it?. I understood it fine. In due time, when on building, before army, to me has approached partorg RSU with conversation, I want or not to enter party, I with all then ershistostju have in plain terms answered it: — While, Victor Valerjanovich, in party will be such people, as our first secretary of district committee Puzikov (the known barin and the boor) and Grobshtejn (zazhravshijsja the chief rajpotrebsojuza), I do not wish to be the communist!. Alas, JUra SHibarev, has held on three days. At first the secretary of a Communist Party organisation of a part talked to it major Fominyh, then zampolit the lieutenant colonel Mild, then the commander of a part colonel Sobakin. The whole congress — all this the higher regimental komandirstvo plus our company Kasyanov and Borzenko was going to eventually. They have managed to convince corporal Shibareva, that to it is better to become, it is necessary to become a member of the CPSU. And differently, as told JUra, to it it was promised very much and very interesting service to the demobilisation. I asked literally, begged JUru not to recede, remain the person of the belief, I hoped itself through its act to become though a little more strongly, but... And here the situation has turned over. Now I should pass the same nervotryopnye tests, the same way. Already corporal Shibarev convinced me to show character, to make an act. I while kept bravely. Bravery washing consisted that I impudently said lies also to the Plait as we called Kasyanov, and to the senior lieutenant Tokarev ordering Komsomol of a part that my report is yet ready. First I in general have declared, that I will act without shpargalki, but this focus is not has gone right: it was ordered me not vykabluchivatsja literally — without the sanction from above komsorg had no right to tell at meeting a uniform word. The most amazing, that neither to officers, nor I somehow was come to at once mind by rather simple thought that it is possible to write preliminary one, and then to rise at meeting and to speak with all the heart. After all not to the same absurdity we have lived during our democratic time that the secretary of committee of Komsomol acting with the report zalomat back hand and to hammer into a throat kljap!. More shortly, I still has unique naive hope, that censors will not have time to see my leaflets prior to the beginning of meeting. And, apparently, the God while on my party. The crowd of sappers, pritopavshih for a dinner becomes hollow in barracks dirty gomonjashchaja. It is brisk at once informs me preprejatnejshee news: to us the auditor — the general inspector already from the Moscow goes. Wait for it after a dinner. Generally we, the sappers, checking do not like, and they shastajut to us almost every week. Painfully rough turmoil rises before from arrival. Like at us — and not only in army! — to show off to honoured guests, to put more carefully luster of a facade. Here and today, I already know, on two-three branches everyone roty on job after a dinner do not leave, will start to wash, sweep, bleach, scrape, paint, lick, to cover, clean, expose and so forth, and so forth and so forth Sometimes reaches sad comedy: it is good, that now the grass on lawns has had time to wither absolutely and if hardly earlier, in beginning of October sappers by order of zealous commanders would be accepted by painting brushes to freshen a green paint the turned yellow grass on lawns... It will be necessary right after to a dining room from a sin far away to be dug round in a staff, in the radio newspaper, and that in the heat of the moment ZHora still will force any stands in Lenkomnate to renew. Hundred years are necessary to this capital general our stands! ... The Komsomol meeting begins on an hour after planned time — at 20.00. All members of the Komsomol sit, already kemarjat, rustle under tables newspapers, re-read the grown hateful tablets on walls with sotsobjazatelstvami and citations from our prayer books — army charters. All have prepared, as usually, to have a rest from turmoil strojbatovskoj a life excited today also visit of the thick grumbling general. As are found, opens meeting zampolit roty second lieutenant Kasyanov. The muzhik it quite good, with us keeps on-ljudski, "vykaet", especially komandirstvovat does not like, but is fine boring and talkative. Here and now it rises, smoothes pink ladoshkoj zhidenkie whitish locks on a pink cinciput and switches on fontanchik the eloquence. A liked theme Mow — labour and military discipline. It always also begins with it. — Skoko as you understand it is possible to speak about these good fellows so-called if it is possible so to be expressed which stir in every possible way so to say a normal life of our division and it is possible to add have forgotten as they say about that to what obliges carrying of a soldier's uniform and a rank in particular military so to say the builder... Under murmuring, without commas, speech of the second lieutenant it is convenient to think of the, to reflect, recollect... Mowing when has read before the meeting my report so has got agitated, that has started to stammer. It during the moment has become crimson and sweated. He has begun to beg me to moisten a head cold water, to become normal and bystrenko to cook up the usual report. Having understood, that I have clinked glasses seriously, Mowing have rushed off with my writing-book in a part staff. Soon for me the messenger the corporal has come running. In an office of colonel Sobakina the powerful officer case which duly demagogical tactics took me at once in a dense ring sloves, threats, admonitions was generated and has suggested to capitulate. I kept how much could. Me has finished and the lieutenant colonel Mild, my immediate superior under the radio newspaper, my liked officer and about this day person certainly respected by me has destroyed. I just also hoped, that he will understand me, will support. After all it fair, clever and already grey-haired muzhik. Well really he was bothered with this infinite viscous unctuous lie!. I after all not to war with China and not to strike wish to call the sappers-members of the Komsomol, I simply wish to tell aloud that they see and fine know. Yes eventually, what all of us from mind, whether that, poshodili? What have we made an ostrich's principle of existence the vital principle?! — Here that, Sasha, — nervous conversation, the lieutenant colonel Mild has told, as though summing up, — here we have got excited (it meant the Pug and ZHoru), have gone too far — you us understand. To threaten we, of course, we do not threaten (just threatened, therefore I also kept), and, on the contrary, we ask, yes, we ask us to understand. You think, the soul is not ill us for everything about what you wish to tell at meeting? Still as is ill! So after all hurriedly all these problems you will not solve, it is necessary to think over, weigh, plan all at first... Besides, we have already started to sum up by November, seventh, your 5th rota really applies for the first place — understand? You we here it is hard too have decided to encourage, as komsorga and as in general excellent military builder — to appropriate to you the next military rank the sergeant... Before me on a table the same writing-book lays, only the three first leaflet from it are torn out. Now in it of a word and tsifiri the new, hastily outlined report: socialist obligations... Record development... Level increase... Performance percent... I look at a noble beautiful profile of the lieutenant colonel Mild, compelled because of me to observe company Komsomol meeting, on square gloomy fiziju captain Borzenko, on a sleepy indifferent attractive face of senior lieutenant Tokarev, on an inspired pink face of second lieutenant Kasyanov, I inspect the persons who have grown dull from its speech of sappers and I pump up in all fibers of the stagnant soul resoluteness and calmness. I should make an act now. Perhaps, the first in the still such short and already such long life. That, present, the report was printed in memory to last by a comma. My God, if you are, strengthen me!. Masha! Maria! Liked my another's wife! My unique and beloved woman, told to me yesterday: «Really you do not understand? I do not want, that you left!.» My destiny which I have met at last and already I will not give to anybody, lovely my Masha, help!. I hear: — And now with the report on the done job the secretary of committee of Komsomol roty the younger sergeant will act... I swallow of three full portions of barracks oxygen, I rise and I do a step forward. The rights... * (Now open once again the first page of notes of the unknown person and you will understand why I have left in the beginning and I leave in the end scraps of words. Combine them is sounds symbolically, isn't that so?) 1975-1988 <<<(P. 4)
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© Rosedkin Sergey Nikolaevich, 2001
E-mail: niknas2000@mail.ru