- Sergey Rosedkin -
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BARRACKS P. 4	The chapter VII And still the ending of service and in general all second year has appeared, certainly, the beginning, the first months is incomparable more comprehensible, than. Becoming komsorgom roty, having received a rank of the younger sergeant, having passed to prestigious job for the sapper in city ZHKU, I have received that drink of freedom which allowed to find even the pleasant parties in an army life, to feel during other moments content, to be rather quiet for the advantage, not to feel a toy in another's hands. And first, more and more time I will repeat, on a shower it was dreary. This unbearable ploughed land a breakage and a shovel on a thirty-degree frost under vigilant supervision of wild Pamir, this stench, overpopulation and intensity of atmosphere of barracks depressed my mentality. Soon I have found an outlet allowing as though to inhale in the middle of this barracks fog a drink of pure exciting oxygen. Books! In a shelf there was quite good enough library and rather poorly populated — there is no time to read in general, and knigocheev to a construction battalion got not too much. I, having run for the first time in library and having registered, have hasty rushed to touch book riches, suffering such enormous choice during such limited time — I had ten minutes in a stock before regimental construction. At last the librarian, the officer wife — the aunt as it has appeared, kind and wise, we from it have made friends subsequently, — seeing as I suffer, as if Buridanov a donkey, has advised: take to begin with already the familiar, liked book. I and have made. In barracks in the evening when before a release hour of a free time has dropped out, I have risen in very narrow lateral pass between two-story cots, in the depth, at a window, far away from another's eyes, and have opened "Crime and punishment" volume in a white satiny jacket from a series «Library of the world literature»: «In the beginning of July, during extremely hot time, towards evening one young man left the closet which employed from tenants in S-m a lane, on street and slowly, as though in indecision, has gone in K-well to the bridge …» My spirit has left mine sapyorskoe a tired body and has directed in Dostoevsky's space. As nevertheless books help the person to live! Personally I, seem to me, without reading for a long time, probably, was lost and in moral, and in the most direct — material — sense. However in a head the thought, on the other hand, will sometimes flash: if I not so am passionate, much and zapojno read, maybe, to me it would be possible already something in a life to achieve, make... I will return to a construction battalion. In some weeks of this zemlekopatelnoj and zemledolbatelnoj penal servitudes in an organism there has come that limit of despair when everyones start to come to a head blagogluposti about runaway and even suicide. In it be, it should is difficult to believe, but the fact — not once or twice there were cases at us in a shelf and at neighbours when this or that sapper did not maintain burdens strojbatovskoj the validity and revolted. About it I intend to talk hardly later for now I will result here only rather curious document which has saved at me. It is my explanatory concerning the incident which witness I casually became. It was necessary to make a fair copy of this paper, and the draught copy remained with me «To the commander of 5th roty item l Rosedkinu from the military builder such THE EXPLANATORY 23.08.197... In the evening, after a supper, I have come to the Lenin room. There there was a number. Axelrod. Have a little later come Merzobekov and Derzin. I wished to bring waters from fontanchika and have asked, who has a flask. Derzin has told, that in its bedside table the flask lays, and I have followed her. Having entered into a premise of 1st platoon, I have seen, that in depth, between numbers of cots there is a person. I wished to ask it about a site of bedside table Derzina, but have heard rattle. Having suspected wrong, I have rushed to it and have seen, that it (Mosin) hangs in a loop on a peak of a bed of the second circle. I have picked up it and have shouted. Have come running from Lenkomnaty the others. We with Derzinym have released it from a loop. Mosin did not answer questions, it was in a half-delirious condition, groaned and cried. We have put it to bed, and Derzin has gone and has reported on the happened ml. To l Kasyanov. Till this moment I close did not know Mosin ». This Mosin, clearly, at once have dragged away in hospital, and then — komissovali. To whom from commanders hunting to be responsible for such nervous?. Here as well I have felt in one of the moments that is better in a loop a head, than to hollow the frozen earth, freezing hands to suffer dirty abuse of the semidrunk Tadjik and all time to be compressed pending, that it will kick you, as if cattle. Besides, and inside our brigade though we were one appeal, friction have begun. The matter is that from twelve persons it has appeared five Armenians, besides two from them shustrjaki, liking to have fun for the bill of the neighbour. They selected the victim that one other of the most quiet, mainly — Russian, and began shpynjat the poor creature, to intimidate him, to scoff. All it began as though for fun, game, and came to an end each time neshutejnymi collisions, business reached and fight. Our commander Mustafaev healthy and improbably hairy Azerbaijanian, speaking Russian with monstrous accent as could rebuffed brisk armjashek, but those were tireless. Especially, their other fellow countrymen though, apparently, did not approve zadirchivost Mnejana and Movsesjana, but national unity at them is initially very strong, so cocks ershilis dared... And here all this confusion has tired out me in deadlock and to me it became extremely bad. I have understood, that if tomorrow again I will jump in five forty five mornings, I will run out on burning frost to do gymnastics, in a dining room I will fussy suffice the pieces and, most likely, again I will remain without butter and sugar, then suddenly I will ring out on a floor, I will walk in a system on a ploughed land later, I will see a vile physiognomy of Pamir, I will take in hands tjazhelennyj a stupid breakage, I will start to knock it on the frozen dead earth, all time being afraid, that new skirmish with Armenians just about will flash... In a word, I required the big drink of freedom, differently I could go mad. Also has worked once again the humane law of the nature saying, that from any even the most desperate position always there will be an exit. I have woken up among night and have understood — something has occurred. It seemed, the fish bone has got stuck in a throat. I have sat down on bed, have listened attentively to myself. Was sick to swallow, the head was turned, all stones polamyvalo... I have not cried nearly for pleasure — was ill! Somehow otstranenno-philosophically I have thought, that in similar, treacherous in relation to own organism, pleasure there is a shade of a moral distortion which, however, in the circumstances is quite pardonable. I have buried in a pillow, have muffled in a blanket and, shivering from a fever, felt happy. The regimental doctor, low chubby tolstjachok the captain as I has hypochondriac noticed, in the beginning, has suspected of me the simulator. He long examined my throat, vnimatelnejshim in the image has studied a scale of a thermometer and with a sigh ascertained: — Like sharp kataralnaja quinsy. It is necessary, it is lovely-friend to put you in an infirmary. I had enough forces that already really and definitively to be delighted. But I, of course, have not shown to a kind. In a garrison infirmary where the regimental hospital attendant has taken away me, us long held in a reception. And here, strange business, my pleasure vsplyoskivalas all is more silent, all is more moderate, while I and irritation, as well as any normal patient in a similar situation, at last, has not started even to test. It would be desirable more likely in bed, to be forgotten. The doctor has come, has examined me, has heard, has fixed in what it is necessary documents and has passed me to the soldier-hospital attendant. Perhaps because I already was the irritable whimsical patient, small to me at once have not liked — clean, smoothed, with a rather impudent sight. In a word — lazaretnyj shnyr. It has got me in a room, has put in hands a linen sack and linen convolutions. — Undress, all the combine in a bag. Also has disappeared. I have started to undress from the state in state another's and, certainly, both the linen, and a pyjamas have appeared in the sizes much more mine, but tapki, on the contrary, on three it is less than number yes besides on one left foot. Here it is necessary to be angry already really. — Hey, the sapper, long to wait for you? Ajda! — the impatient voice of the smoothed was distributed. Here hamljuga, still shouts!. In narrow, with a high white ceiling to chamber where has entered me lazaretnyj shnyr, was four cots, a bedside table, on a bedside table — a big-bellied cut decanter. Three cots were standardly, in a state way, are laid, and on that, that stood on the right at a window, the guy with an is bright-red head laid. Having heard a scratch of a door and my greeting, it was threw up. I have seen a rare physiognomy: close, to the nose bridge shifted pugovichnye eyes of grayish colour, flat, as if plywood, sticking out bushpritom a nose and narrow rubber lips. «Well and vidok!» — I have involuntarily thought and have started to be arranged on a cot at the left at a window. The reddish has chewed and even has somehow pulled lips, has then started talking: — With what have put? From what regiment? A May appeal?. It, as from a bucket, has poured over me an avalanche of questions, but for answers for some reason to wait did not become, and at once has started to give out the information on. I have learnt, that his name is Pashkoj, here rolls with a stomach and an appeal — May. Then has laid out biographical particulars and I. However, I not very much would like to stir. Illness made itself felt, and on an immemorial soldier's habit which strongly has already taken roots in an organism, chronically it would be desirable to sleep. Already having muffled in a blanket, I absolutely was have dozed off, as have suddenly heard a voice from the next cot. It seemed, Red talks to itself: — Houses shchas prepare for a holiday!. (Business came nearer to 8 Martha.) Mamanja pies moulds, batjanja kurej cuts... Ehma! SHCHas home! Bratuhu uvidat, mamanju with batjanej... Eh! He has once again sighed and, was felt, cut in my party. — Yes, not bad... — I have inertly supported conversation. Red as vilami has thrown. — You know, how I live?! In suburb of Lugansk — domina with a garden! Mamanja, batjanja yes we with bratuhoj... In a garden — apples, cherries, these is as them? — Sweet cherries! CHyo still it is necessary, and? Pigs are, geese, ducks... Kurej — a precipice! Well, chyo still it is necessary? A motorcycle "Urals Mountains"! Well, chyo still it is necessary, and? In a hut two TV sets — colour one, the magician for three hundred fifty, two refrigerators! Well, chyo still it is necessary, and? Well, chyo?. Red already jumped up. The blanket from sharp movements has fallen to a floor. «Lines s that, — I have thought, — he, probably, not only a stomach suffers». — Well, chyo still it is necessary? — Has once again screamed Pashka. — Prikanaju from a ploughed land home: mamanja, on a table swords! On a table — eyes in running start, chyo toko are not present. Batjanja grafinchik will get: well chyo, Pashka, you will drink? Certainly, I speak, batjanja, what market! And as vdarish yes — on jumps in club... Eh, and the life was!. The red has reddened and did not sob nearly from memoirs. I have not had time to answer somehow its tirade as the door of our chamber was opened. — Hello, children! Me here to you have settled. It is possible? — Give, give, — I have answered this low dark-haired guy, — be arranged on any reserved seat. The beginner has chosen a cot with Pashkinoj the party and villages. Red, having broken off, for about a minute stared on it the grey buttons and then was accepted to the to a method: — How klichut? What appeal? Whence it come?. — Call Boris. Nine months has already served. Itself from Novosibirsk. And you? Have met. While Boris straightened bed, I have considered it more in detail. Eyes — clever, the person, especially in comparison with Pashkinym, pleased with correctness of lines, only was pale. Growth it is low also scope of shoulders amazed. The last, that I have noticed — Chekhov's small volume, which Boris has put under a pillow... Has woken me of hour through two voice medsestrichki — it is time to go on pricks. — Hear, dudes, — has told already after dinner Pashka when all of us again rolled, — give about the citizen pobazarim, and? Give about it, well, about women, more shortly. Well, at whom as was there for the first time or in last and so on. Give, and? Boris has postponed the book. I — a writing-book in which wrote the letter of mother. The offer should be considered. But red patience did not differ. — Zametano! I — the first, — rubanul it and, having taken seat on bed in Turkish and having enclosed a pillow under the lean back, the beginnings greedily. THE STORY OF THE RED Otmuchil I vosmiletku, privalivaju home and bazarju: — Everything, batjanja, I on a ploughed land will go! Well, here ohi-sighs, mamanja — in tears, but I, as kremen. Batjanja has attached me to itself, on a meat-packing plant. A job — kajfovaja: scales such enormous, I sit, means, ladles with meat I hang up yes two times in mesjachishko to cash desk I run. Lafa! Once, I remember, declared the next smoke break, and I do not smoke. I sit, means, on the chair and an apple havaju. Suddenly I hear behind: — You chyo one baldeesh? Seku — a shot costs: hair light from under a kerchief to the shoulders, trousers-klyosh and a dressing gown white as it is necessary. Klyovaja all from itself! — And chyo, — I ask, — with whom I baldet will be? — And you, — ask, — not Andrey Fomicha the son? — Evonnyj, — I speak, — and is, and chyo?. Well, more shortly, yes syo, about that, about it bazarim. It Glashej, it has appeared to call. It Was pleasant to me — horror! Bazarju: — We will be winded in kinoshku in the evening? — Give, — agrees and adresok gives. And here the smoke break has come to an end, it to itself — in packing shop. Prikanal I home, was rinsed, havat the beginnings, and all of it I think. For the first time so the girl was pleasant. For baldezha vdaril I rjumashechku, yes the second and — to its hut Am dressed nishtjak: hair under Beatles, brjuchata black, klyosh twenty five on thirty, a shirt nylon. It near to me a vein, in the next street. There at us the whole area — huts with gardens and front gardens. I come, more shortly, and it sits on a shop at gate and me expects. Well, we have tumbled down from it at cinema. I do not remember, chyo that time twisted. I sit next, I think: the fool I will be, if shchas not zalapaju — the moment. And at me behind this business never will rust. I sit, means, at it I look, and then took also a hand on her hand — r-r-r-time! It has at first moved, then nichyo. Well, I — further-more. Here even under this business (Red has clicked itself on an Adam's apple). A hand to it on a knee has put — is silent! And me, seriously, in sweat has thrown. Seku, a hand at me hot, and a skin at it cold-cold, well — ice. I think: it becomes exact syodni mine. I became impudent, became impudent, and it is suddenly silent so: — It is not necessary, Pash, and? Faugh, I think, breaks still! But a paw has cleaned. The picture has come to an end, has gone to see off. I, of course, am not silent, about Beatles bazarju, about that records at me to chyortikov. It: — Here to listen! — You will come, — bazarju, — to me, you will listen. Kolo huts yojnoj we stand. Late already. Lines with it, I think, to drain in though. Well, we stand. I — r-r-r-time! — it for shoulders. She of anything — is silent. Well, I it then to myself and — have stuck. And it to me: — What for so at once? — And then, — bazarju, — more cheerfully to live was! And more time has drained in... pobaldeli still, I absolutely vtemnjah home otvalil. Also has gone at us. On a ploughed land nearby and evenings together. Well, there, that at cinema or on jumps in club so it is simple kantuemsja, in the street. Also know, earlier one thought was — to achieve all and otvalit, and then somehow on other side to turn over all became. Even before has reached, that I know: here at any moment I will want also mine becomes, and itself I drag out. Well, whole, of course, I stroke, and about it is. Time, I remember, prikanali to us for the first time. I with mamanej have acquainted her, with bratuhoj — batjanju she on job knew. And bratuha at me the muzhik was: twenty two years, hair curls and on a guitar mastak. These women at it — the sea. It around Glashi at once la-la-la. And me chyo? Start up, I think. We have then fallen down with Glashej in my room. I have closed a door on a latch, have cut Beatles and villages to it on a bed. Well, here, by itself, oblapil to suck the beginnings. It suddenly as has clasped me, all has nestled and whispers: — You like me? I, of course, — like! — bazarju. Yes it and really so was. And she kisses me, presses close. More shortly, business for me only. I too was started turning, chyo to unbutton at her the beginnings. Hands shiver... And here — it is necessary! — the film has come to an end. I while put other coil, like utihnul. And it too. Then somehow not that... Have sat still yes at cinema have tumbled down... The red has become silent and, looking in a floor, by inertia still moved with lips. The look at it was even any sweet: it, appear, just about will start up tear. — And further? — Boris has asked. — CHyo further? Nichyo, — has unexpectedly become gloomy Pashka. So before my birthday lasted. And it akkurat at me for December, 31st is necessary. Well here, I have, of course, invited her. Visitors there everyones was going to: bratuha has named, batjanja. Vodjary the different have bought, krasnuhi, moreover the potion has kept up, is shorter — the sea. Glasha that evening was — shine! A dress pink, short, kapronchik standing, hair under a ribbon... Well, here the magician with might and main shouts, the fur-tree is shone, fun around, Glasha nearby sits also a hand to me on a shoulder has put, and me — eighteen trjapnulo. Well, I from a high also allow one to overturn for another. Zabaldel — it is terrible. I remember, Glasha already embraces me, kisses, chyo about bratuhu bazarit. Then I still a glass vdaril and — was chopped off... Pashka has again broken off. Though somehow it would not be desirable to believe, even was somehow insulting to believe, that the beautiful little girl could grow fond of it, but it so with enthusiasm painted... — Well! — I have not sustained now. — do not pull soul, tell. In the morning has come to — I lay on a cot in the big room. The head cracks, sides are ill, all turns out. Nichyo I do not remember! In a hut it is silent, all have fallen down somewhere. Lo and behold, on a table the decanter with something yellow costs. Thought — kvass and hvatanul is direct from a throat. And there — gorilka painted over. It became at first dreary, and then nichyo: the high has caught. Bashka to think chyo beginnings. I think, how I Say yesterday spent? Has Perhaps offended than? Perhaps became impudent? Nichyo I do not remember! But the mood already baldyozhnej became. I will go, I think, while to Beatles I will listen. In the room — tork. It is closed. I was not cut yet and other time from all force — tork. The latch has jumped out (Red has faltered), seku, on my bed bratuha with Glashej lay... Having embraced... I admit, me has amazed the story ending, and Boris, it is visible, too. — So you have made? — He has cautiously asked. Pashka has sharply turned to it. — And you chyo on we would wash a place has made, and? Well, chyo?. CHyo, you think, I because of any on bratuhu the native will take offence? Yes them is the sea, and bratuha one at me! It one, bratuha! The red has leant back on a pillow. We with Boris did not know, whether to sympathise with it, whether, on the contrary, to call the idiot. On the one hand, really, whether it is necessary because of such to be killed? But, with another if my native brother so in a rubbishy way has arrived, I to it on the person precisely would strike... However, the brother at me is not present, so Who knows, goodness knows... — And klyovaja it was, — with melancholy has sighed Pashka, — is recollected often. It was necessary to tell something, but to speak it would not be desirable. Well it, rassljunjavilsja! Red long snuffled in silence. — Well? Now to me to tell? — Boris has asked. — Give, — I have responded. — At me it was easier, — there has begun Boris, being above arranged on bed, — and can, and it is more difficult. It from what party to look. BORIS'S STORY It when I studied on an institute third year has begun, under New year. Before, if frankly, in my life anything such was not. I casually burst in unfamiliar to me the company. Prenew Year's evening as now I remember, was excellent — with snow, with moroztsem. I went with a champagne bottle under the arm through the street in a celebratory way raised crowd and have suddenly thought: «And what for I there go? Whether is better in loneliness to spend this wonderful night?» But, thanks God, laziness was to come back in the cell. On a visit I have undressed, have put a bottle on kitchen and have passed in zalo. I not bad knew only the owner of apartment Victor and his wife I Bring down (together studied) moreover two-three visitors. Other five-six persons as I already spoke, were absolutely unfamiliar to me. Everything, I somehow have sharply felt at once it, had no time for me, anybody has presented me to nobody. Victor with Valej fussed at a plate. All were already cheerful or, is more correct, tipsy, and in a room stood recovered shumok. The radio-gramophone loudly played. Some pairs danced a tango. I, having solved, despite of everything, to have fun, wished somebody to invite. But, alas, more and more or less pretty girls have appeared with companions, and the others, to put it mildly, did not shine with charm. I, about myself chertyhnuvshis, villages in a low armchair before a player also have started to touch plates. — We will dance? I have lifted a head. Before my look defiantly open harmonous feet with divine knees, hardly polnovataja a figure in a white fitting dress and, at last, the person have flashed: grey with ironical prishchurom eyes, a high hairdress of chestnut hair, chubby as write in novels, sensual lips... In detail I it, of course, then, during dance, have considered. Why I have not noticed it earlier, till now I will not understand. I, certainly, have jumped at once, have started something to mutter, have reddened. I will notice in brackets, that in a shower I if it is frank, consider myself as the strong-willed, cold person a-lja Petchorin, but the life continually, alas, proves me the return. She has listened to my mutter easy, even with any missing kind, hardly having turned away, and has smiled thus any strange smile. During that moment I have noticed it for a moment and only have learnt value of that strange smile much later... But I have distracted. We only had time to meet it, as the plate has come to an end. The name at it has appeared precious – Gold. Hours showed half twelfth, and all have started to take seat for a table. I, naturally, villages near to Golden. My fears, that it has come to the companies not one, have soon vanished: anybody did not approach to it. The impression, that it the same as also I, have casually appeared on another's feast was made. In a room have extinguished a ceiling light and have lighted a fur-tree. From the TV there were blue waves. Person Zlaty shined with this mash of patches of light, was too beautiful, as at a witch in a film "Vy". Remember Natalia Varlej in this role? Gold, not screwing up the face, willingly drank cognac and wine. She has turned pale, its eyes shone, and shone not fun, and something absolutely another — a rage or insult, and can, and boredom. Though, however, whether there can be at boredom a shine? Gold continually started to laugh, cleverly and angrily parodying conversations and gestures of visitors. At me from drunk the head quickly has begun to spin, and I after it too have started to laugh at neighbours in a table with all the heart. I had to tend at dialogue to ear Zlaty and time two or three I have concerned with lips of its cheek. I do not know, how we from it then have not made scandal? Then, I remember, we from it long wandered on streets of Novosibirsk. It was dark, but it was felt, that night on an outcome. We have overtaken a stop when the first bus has braked and has opened doors. Gold suddenly has sharply shaken to me, has kissed on the mouth — «While, the boy!» — also has jumped in the bus. Doors have slammed, and Gold, having waved with me at parting a glove through the semifrozen window, was dissolved in a city. I at all have not learnt neither surnames, nor addresses, phone! I have hardly waited nine hours when, by my calculations, Victor with Valej should wake up already, and have called them. Nobody lifted the Tube. I have rushed to them home: called, knocked on a door, but nobody opened. «Really till now sleep?», – I remember, with irritation I have thought. On the roar lifted by me the little girl who the day before was in our company has looked out of the next apartment. — They have already left to stay, — has told it. — Where? — I though I absolutely had have silly taken an interest it is the nobility. To ask it about Gold I was ashamed. I have gone to that area where Gold has taken the bus, wandered there, hoping for a casual meeting, — all is vain. A day later have arrived from visitors Victor with Valej, but also they essential have not informed anything on Gold: it has come with someone and with whom — do not remember. In a word, traces have got lost. Then session has begun, I have twirled and would start like to forget about it. So at least it seemed to me. Once, in February, I have gone to cinema, but was late to the session beginning. In darkness I have somehow made the way on the eighteenth — as now I remember! — a place and villages. On the screen commissioner Zhjuv chased for Fantomasom. I have started to look attentively, trying to understand, that has occurred in the beginning. And suddenly: — Hi, the boy. I have sharply turned and have seen to Gold. I both have become puzzled, and was delighted so, that have grown dumb for some seconds. She, smiling, looked at the screen. — We will go! — I have risen and took it for a hand. — we Will go! — No, what for, — it was liberated, — give a film we will look through and we will go. Become angry I could not, it would be silly. I do not know, how I have waited the session end... — A supper! The U-U-supper! — the sharp voice lazaretnogo shnyrja, pushed in a door was distributed suddenly. We have come back from a dark hall of a cinema in chamber of an army infirmary and have started to fill beds. The supper has appeared rather imperial: fried fish with a potato, strong sweet tea and a soft white loaf. But the main thing, nobody snatched pieces at you out of hands. However, each of us tried to finish off the portion faster nevertheless. By traditions lazaretnoj lives not smoothed the one who last rose because of a table cleaned a dining room, and. Boris has appeared this time extreme … When we have again settled on the cots, Boris has begun not at once. It was appreciable, that the role of the cleaner not so vdohnovljajushche has worked on it. — Well it is fine, — he has sighed, answering any thoughts, and has continued the story. Means, the cinema has come to an end at last. Then we went on streets, about something spoke, but about what, it I do not remember. From the moment of a meeting I was as if in a hypnotic dream. Has regained consciousness, when she has asked: — We will go to us? — And it is convenient? — With me all is convenient, — she has categorically declared. We have approached to the modern nine-floor house. Its apartment has appeared on the third floor. Gold has turned a key in the lock. — What, anybody is not present? — I was delighted. — Do not worry, — she has grinned, — all houses. We have come. Gold, having made a sign with a hand not to rustle, has spent me in the room. All things in it were expensive and beautiful. It was evident at once. A bed, a rack with books, a carpet on a floor, a carpet on a wall, the big mirror in an ancient baguette, a little table, armchairs, the tape recorder — everything, as from an exhibition. casually, not the daughter of the minister? — I have squeezed out a joke. — The daddy — the general, and mum — the director of department store. Also that the most ridiculous, I am not ashamed of them, — she has quite seriously answered. «The general daughter is something from jokes», — I have grinned about myself, removing a coat and the rabbit cap. Gold has changed clothes, having asked me to turn away, and in very large east wide trousers and a bright translucent jacket began to resemble the model from an advertising photo. Only, I have noted, was not in it for some reason manekenskoj cheerfulness, and there was in eyes any grief or weariness, or the same boredom. Gold left and has a little later brought on a sweet tray, oranges, cognac and any foreign cigarettes, black, with golden obodkom. I have sat down in an armchair, is deeper under it have hidden the boots for 12 re and with shame have recollected, that a shirt on me at all in colour of a suit, and that I yet had not a shave today. But here I have suddenly become angry (with me it happens): you will think — sets, carpets, cognac... To Spit on all! I took a wine-glass and have poured out a cherry tart liquid to myself in a mouth. A minute later alcohol action has affected. I have strongly put the dvenadtsatirublevye boots on this Persian or Chinese carpet, have drunk off the second wine-glass again and with a call have looked on Gold. She has laughed: — Self-affirmation of the person? I have reddened. It has again filled my wine-glass. She has drunk the, but it is more in it did not pour. — We will switch on the tape recorder? — And parents? — For the sake of decency I have minded. — Anything, we silently-silently. It has clicked a key, and sticky, melancholy waves of a blues have poured down. Gold has risen from an armchair, has approached to me and has put hands on my shoulders. I still irresolutely looked it in the face. It hardly has hesitated, has then bent and on the lips I have felt its hot breath. And then... Yes unless such it is possible to tell! We have regained consciousness hour per three mornings. I, stealthily, as if tat, have got out of apartment and, drunk from gone through, have started wandering through all city home. I did not think Of the following meeting. I knew, that it it will be obligatory. Present, as I was frightened, when have suddenly understood in the morning, that will meet with Golden much more difficultly, than I assumed. To go to it home? At once it is excluded — I outright was afraid of the daddy-general. To call? I again have not learnt even its surname, have not asked also phone. There was the unique exit known still since the last centuries — to wait near for its house. So I also have made. On employment, certainly, has not gone, and it is direct at once, since the morning has gone to its house and has started to stroll on sidewalk at an entrance. Stood morozets. Gradually, at first ears, then feet, hands, a nose — all body has broken, has pinched a cold. It was necessary to drop in for a minute in an epicure. Having drunk a coffee cup, I have returned on the observant post. By itself have got into a head of memoirs on the last night, and at once it became hot... I was for some reason confident, that long to me to wait it is not necessary. But hour after an hour thawed, and the Gold did not appear. Has already started to darken, when I at last have dared, have come into an entrance, have risen on the third floor and have stopped at doors of 7th apartment. It is necessary to press the call button. «Suddenly not it will open? What will I tell?» Has below slapped an entrance door, and someone has started to walk upstairs. I have resolved: only this person will pass, I — call. And there, that will be, will be. The fellow with a miner's lantern through a shoulder and wrenches in hands, possibly, the sanitary technician has seemed. Suddenly I was dawned by a brilliant idea: and what, if?. — Listen, — I have stopped the guy, — you go to what apartment? Give, please, for five minutes your equipment. Very much it is necessary! That was restive was, but I have asked it. — Go down more low and wait for me, — I have told to it, taking a lantern with keys, and have safely called. My plan was simple: if will open Gold further it is clear, and if somebody from parents I will simply apologise, that not there has got, and I will return on watch at an entrance. Long nobody opened. But here latches have rung out. I have more densely covered with a scarf a tie. The door was opened by plentifully made up portly woman in the Japanese kimono. Round a head at it the towel has been wrapped up by a turban. «Mutter!» — I for some reason have in German thought, and aloud have in Russian asked: — Excuse, the sanitary technician called? «Now, — I think, — will tell is not present, and I will leave...» What my horror when the woman has opened a door was and has resolutely entailed me in apartment, loudly shouting thus: — For a long time it is already called, yes uselessly! From the battery month whole drips! I am obedient followed her, not hoping on rescue. It has entered me in Zlatinu a room and is angry has specified: «Here!» In that place where the pipe enters into a radiator (or, on the contrary, leaves?), water exuded and sonorously dripped in substituted to bank. That the day before to me the thaw all were heard! I with ridiculous enough kind have touched a nut and have scalded a hand. The most unpleasant in all this history was that "mutter" stood closely behind my back, expecting, probably, resolute actions. «Whether at home the general?» — I what for have thought and have shined a nut with a lantern. Some minutes I shined a radiator, a pipe (in a room the chandelier flared), painfully thinking out what to undertake. If logically to think: time flows between a nut and the battery, the nut means oslabla. I have fitted a key and have shifted a nut from a place... The result has appeared catastrophic: it seemed, the pipe has burst! Boiled water with whistle and hissing has rushed to me, on the mistress who has wildly cried, on furniture and walls. I, have rushed to a door. It has been locked! I have jerked it so, that plaster fell down, and has jumped out on a platform. — A pipe has pulled out!!! The sanitary technician of seconds five examined mine — that minute, probably, extremely foolish — the person, the tool has snatched out from my hands, has rushed to apartment, an instant later has jumped out and has rushed off away. «Everything, — I have thought, — if the sanitary technician has escaped, that remains to me?» But I have restrained, have typed a full breast to air and have stepped back. Now, has solved, a body I will lay down on a radiator, start up I will be scalded, I will die — there and road after such. Somewhere in the heart of apartment wailed "mutter". «It is not insured!.» — I have disassembled. Water in a room covered all carpet, the hot fog stood, as in a good bath. In a word, a dreadful picture and a situation. And suddenly hissing has stopped. I at all have not believed at first — really water has come to an end?. But here the sanitary technician has run in. — Eh you, hohma! — he has thrown angrily in wash the address and it has started to be dug in a radiator. I, naturally, have kept silent also sidewise have promoted to a door. The most terrible for me was — to meet Zlatinu mother. I have quietly slightly opened a door, have squeezed on a platform and have cautiously started to come downstairs. Below has again slapped a door. I have straightened a back, have corrected a cap and have tried to assume an extraneous air. I have absolutely forgotten about Gold during that instant, and it just and rose to me towards. — Boris? I have noticed at once, that she is not simply surprised, and unpleasantly surprised. — Here, has on a visit come, — I have mumbled, trying not to look it in the face. She has derisively smiled. — And wet why? For excitement? I have flashed. — Well what for you so? I wish to talk... Gold hardly has thought. — That... — she has attentively looked at me and has unexpectedly angrily asked: — Has become bored, the boy? Well-well, then have gone. The entrance had light "Volga". I not very much was surprised, when Gold have got from a handbag keys and have opened a car door. I have looked upwards, have seen, how from a balcony of the third floor a thin stream water as steam vsparhivaet shaggy clubs to the sky, and has thought flows down, that into apartment Zlatinu to me not to come more never. I have sighed also villages in the car. We have rushed off. Gold it is confident and negligent, one hand, operated "Volga", and the second all time held on the lever of switching of speeds. This hand was so close from mine, that I wished it to touch, but did not dare. The city has come to an end. I have looked at a speedometer — the arrow shuddered far behind figure 100. Person Zlaty has inflamed, passion of speed, appear, urged on it, and it pressed on an accelerator even more rigidly. Being ashamed to show cowardice, I as am possible have told more easy: — I have flooded your room with water. Hot. — Thanks, — she has indifferently answered. The housing estate has seemed. Gold has sharply dumped speed, has turned off the road and has driven to an extreme big summer residence. In all snow-covered settlement, apparently, was not uniform live soul. Is your summer residence? — I what for have asked. — Your, your, — with a smile has answered Gold, and in its voice, to the surprise, I have again felt a rage. In a summer residence it was cold. Light of a dusty chandelier has highlighted a table, chairs, the wide bed, too covered with a dust. In a wide kitchen about the furnace fire wood laid a hill and there was a bucket with coal. — You are able to heat the furnace? — She has angrily asked. — I do not know. Probably... — What means, I do not know? A-a, good! — it has given up as a bad job and has passed in a room. I too have become angry: I irritate her, whether that? I napihal in the furnace of old newspapers, chips also have brought a match. The caustic yellow smoke has tumbled down from a door. «Well, that it is necessary to it?» — already I have thought of an oven. Has entered Gold, has grinned («Well-well!») also has opened zaslonku in a pipe. Fire has cheered up at once and has hooted. It became cosy. — What are you angry? — I have turned to it. — Now coal from above put, — she has answered. And I have calmed down. I sat on a floor, examined the hands, black from coal, and thought: «it is silly... Silly and ridiculously... Probably, the person too is smeared... With boredom all it was... With boredom...» It has sat down near to me and has embraced me. I zakamenel. We looked at artful fire which hot caressed the victim — coal. Simply looked, and all. — Gold, I like you... — I have said a hackneyed phrase the become hoarse voice. — We will go, hands pomoesh, — she has told. And I have not taken offence... Already there was a midnight when we have gone to a city. I podavlenno was silent, and Gold suddenly have unexpectedly got to talking, the beginnings to me to retell any film: with enthusiasm, with details. — Give we will get married, — I have interrupted her. It has become gloomy at once. — It is not necessary, Borja... It is not necessary! — Well why? After all I like you! And you me! — The silly fellow, — she has sadly smiled. — at you the speciality though is? — Well, no, — I was confused. — but after all I soon will receive the diploma. — The teacher of rural school? — Why necessarily rural? — Well it is fine, will suffice, — it is tender, as child, it has interrupted me, stopping the car. — you it was good? To you it is good with me? As it will want love so come. Come still... Not to strike it, I have started to break the door handle, but that in any way did not give in. I have deeply inhaled, have turned to Gold and have hoarsely asked: — What for you needed then to be approached to me? — To me it is boring, Borenka... To me it was very boring, here I and have argued with my lover (it has intentionally allocated this word) that I will throw it and I will be engaged in you. That's all. Has won the French cognac. We with you drank it yesterday. You remember? I, of course, have believed at once, but what for have told: — I do not believe! You speak, itself you do not know that! — Do not believe. Perhaps I and, the truth, not such, — suddenly have sharply drooped it. Then has fitfully embraced me, has greedy kissed and has pushed away. — And now — go. Go, already late. Already all late! Go! It seemed to me, that if I though for a minute will be late, I will try to tell something, she will begin to hate me... And I have left. Boris has frowned and has given up as a bad job. – And further and to tell there is nothing — one nonsenses. Next day again to institute has not gone, prohandril all the day long, and by the evening has got drunk as the shoemaker and — to its house. I remember, knocked, called, someone has opened a door, I to Gold demanded, swore... In the Morning in militia has woken up. Fifteen days of a distance. From institute, naturally, have asked... More I did not see it, and in May here in army have called... — Well and chyo, you regret? — It was threw up Red. — yes it with fat raged! Bljad the natural! Boris has shrugged shoulders. I have understood, that to it now not to us and have kept silent. Pashka too has shut up, we have imperceptibly dozed off and have fallen asleep till the morning. Thus, my turn to play role SHeherezady has come after a breakfast. I have begun unexpectedly for myself in playful tone: — Yes-a-a... And I, citizens ill if to admit, married was. And Boris, and Red it is mistrustful on me have looked. — What, I am youngly looked? Well, then can present, as I looked three years ago. More shortly, listen. I will begin, perhaps, with the middle. As has met with Galej, the first sighs, kisses, recognitions — all it is uninteresting... — Well is not present, — has interrupted Pashka, — so business not buhtit! Kudy to hurry to us? Give poison from the very beginning, as we. All is interesting to me. — Certainly, — its Boris has supported. MY STORY Well, good... I studied in the tenth, it – in the eighth. I do not know, whether I judge impartially, but it to me seemed, and now it seems, as Pashka is expressed — klyovoj on appearance. By the way, the photo at me is. I have got a small photo from a pyjamas pocket and have stretched its Red. It is a photo I very much liked, therefore has saved only it from those two tens that has presented to me Galja. She has acted in film in a school uniform. The lacy collar fits the maiden neck (which I so liked to kiss!), magnificent chestnut hair two tails lay on a coat hanger, the big light eyes is mild-with astonishment look by an objective somewhere in an unknown distance, and pripuhlye, indistinctly outlined lips is hardly appreciable, "on-dzhokondovski", smile. Here such I also remembered it! — Ogo, and it is exact — klyovaja! — has expressed Pashka. And Boris, having read an inscription on the back — «Sasha, the darling, do not forget!» — has smiled: — It is good! — However, it not always such mild was, — I what for have dropped in forward. Also has begun again at first. So, to be on friendly terms, as it at us was called, we have begun in the autumn. As it always also happens, before I Galju did not notice. Yes it and no wonder: school at us though also rural, but populous — pupils in it more than the soldier in a shelf. And at that time, probably, also the old fairy tale has proved to be true once again — the disgusting duckling has turned in a swan. In a word, I have seen it in the first September denyochki — I remember, on change, in buffet, — and at once have resolved: zakadrju! (You excuse, Pash, that I again have used your word, but is sick they at you are figurative!) However, to decide — not to make yet. I was turned for about a month around, but all did not dare to approach and start talking. Friends-friends even to urge on already steels: give supposedly and that... The case has helped. The first school vecherishko has taken place. Dullishly they at us passed: under an accordion polechki and letki-enki danced yes in the chimney sweep played. She on this evening in pair the chimney sweep has chosen me, but I and have missed silently until us "have not broken". As always, in twenty one thirty ours derik has told: baju-baj, boys and girls! — and we, at all pourosiv (have already got used), have trudged to a locker room. I go and think: «It is necessary to approach today, it is necessary!. And can, tomorrow it is better? After lessons?.» Is shorter, as a pendulum I shake. The coat plot, was put in pockets, and gloves are not present. For the inquiry I explain: before at me leather gloves never was, and these, chromic, Czech, djadkin a gift from Moscow, I carried all the third day. Already to squeal it wanted for insult and a rage! And when I am angry, resoluteness in me though take away. In general to squeal and cry I did not become, and have caught up Galju this evening and, as they say, was explained. It — it was then found out — for a long time already for it waited. Well, we were on friendly terms, were on friendly terms (a ridiculous word!), and I have kissed her for the first time only on ninth of December. It was remembered here. It in general the joke was. Morozets — degrees under thirty, it is audible, as on Yenisei ice bursts, and we stand, we shift from one foot to the other. It has jumped out only for a minute, to tell, that mother target and does not release it today to walk, — and was late. (And mummy at it in the culture House worked as the ticket collector, but about it later.) Paltishko on Tana vnakidku, a cap with ear-flaps bratova on a head. It to a front garden has deviated, eyes has closed and to play the fool the beginnings. — I for-sy-pas-ju-ju-ju... I for-measures-for-ju-ju-ju... To the Zasy-share-ju-ju... Also has calmed down. And lips to me has substituted. Well, I was trampled, posopel and at last have dared — it is necessary to kiss! Took it for shoulders — is silent and waits! — also has started the person to drive. Only remains: just about and to a kiss as, present only, — a cold! I was removed, have sniffed few times and — again to it. Only I will bend, again "failure", again shmygat it is necessary. All has sweated from a shame, steam from me brings down, and it, the main thing, does not open eyes, as if also the truth it here is not present. Well, I think, now or vysmorkatsja it is necessary vnagluju and all into an oak joke to turn, or to kiss, as I will manage. Otherwise — stydobushka! Was prepared, has bent and has pressed the lips to it... And everything, guys, further that was – I do not remember. Galja then told, that, say, has pushed away me, into reprimand has gone and has escaped. I already midway to the house have found out myself. Neither to, nor after I similar any more did not test — as drunk was: paltetso wide open, a cap in a hand, feet slide on an ice crust, inside such sensation, as if on a swing yes all time downwards and downwards... The Doggie pribludnaja, I remember, there and then hobbles near to me, prodrogshaja, poskulivaet — has dragged it home and has fed with the supper... I then all thought, why so have become stupid from simple touch Galinyh of lips? After all kissed already little girls before, a bottle on a sit-round gathering in a circle twisted... — Well, and how, how at you this most was? When happens? — kvaknul suddenly Red. The toggle-switch has clicked, the blue screen in a shower has died away. I have started to consider about myself to ten. Boris has reproachfully told Pashke: — You asked more in detail and from apart, be consecutive — wait. — Yes I chyo? I nichyo?. If vzasos — still tudy-sjudy, and that who so... Moreover on a frost... Yes that zabaldet... Ha, from a kiss! Yes I though tyshchu time will drain in, and though those of henna... The red muttered all neuverennee, starting to understand, that goes not to that steppe. I silently have turned away to a wall and was covered with a blanket with a head. Also did not react already on what to the failure in a dream. Our village buried during snow which all falls dreamt me, falls, falls... We stand with Galej, having joined hands, dressed for some reason as in summer — it in a sundress, I in a shirt — and to us am not cold, but we shmygaem noses and smeyosja. I am gone, and itself I think: «What we still children! To us and to kiss still early!» … After a dinner I put on a brave face the whole hour and did not answer even to Boris. However, it too has appeared with character and at once has lagged behind me. We laid with it on the corners and read: I any extremely topical modern povestushku about nadojah milk and organic fertilizers. Boris — Chekhov. (By the way, till now it is distinctly remembered has started to lead, which I then read: «The oak door with a scratch was opened, and in a room has glanced tired person Feodor which held a bast basket full of perfect onions in hands. — Lukerja! — he has cried. — a tractor hour as on poskotinu ushkandjabali, and you tuto at are still cut! Lushka, shuddering a full body, has slipped from a feather-bed, it is lazy covering shame sermjagoj. Behind a village fence, it is audible, indeed already kurohtali steel horses... ») Pashka izvertelsja from melancholy. At last, predictably, it has not restrained and has begun to whimper: say, so dishonestly, all told, and you, Sashok... And so forth I, of course, having broken, have surrendered. — Good, — I have told, addressing is underlined to Boris, — I will continue, but for seigneur Paolo I will jump at once in two years, that faster. Pashka has moved, but I continued. Well here, to arrive after school at once I did not become, has gone on building — concrete to knead, the earth to dig. And the next year in Irkutsk university has failed under fanfares and again home prikatil. And I have knocked on durika, without preparation. Then has understood, that, later, probably, because of Gali did not dare to leave anywhere. For it waited. And then about what serious in ours from it relations like also did not think. Met almost every evening and day — it from lessons for me has run. Happened, quarrelled, even for a week, on two... And it is necessary to tell, that its mummy has literally got irritated against me since first days. What it was not pleasant to it? Till now I precisely know, but, most likely, it is not less, than the son of the secretary obkoma for a daughter designated. And here — the son uchitelki, bezottsovshchina moreover and simple the hard worker has gone to stick. In a word, it drove me ugly. I, however, did not decline a proud head and loved it. Time even on it in ours "rajonku" has composed the feuilleton — as it at kiddies turned out pockets, that those sunflowers in auditorium did not drag. And, the stinker, at me times prinarodno under this pretext has made a uniform search on pockets. I that insult to splash out wrote, thought will not print, and this feuilleton — time! — and babahnuli. That was! Galja to me has quite seriously told in the evening: — You weeks two at cinema do not go and in general to it do not come across — will kill! I believed — aunt Frosja could kill. Father Gali, uncle Feodor, worked as the driver and there was a muzhik of anything, even joked at meetings: greetings supposedly zjatyok! Well here, we were on friendly terms such makarom — secretly yes stealthily. Only I see, Galechka mine vytykivatsja the beginnings. To it already seventeen it was almost made even — has blossomed, blood in it, probably has matured, and, has played. Occasions to my jealousy have appeared: she that will smile to one, with another to dance on a party will go, on me unexpectedly will become angry and will start to compare to others... By the way — for Paul Ferapontovicha, — we from it further kisses and prizhimany have not moved yet. However, time, in the summer when I from Irkutsk on a board have come back, we in the first evening as have become crazy. She at the grandma with the grandfather spent the night, and we almost all night long in a garden on a shop under a bird cherry promilovalis. From kisses were drunk. I Galju first time such saw: she kissed, bit my lips, nestled on me and all shuddered. Has then put to me a head on knees, and we again kissed. I have not noticed, how the hand washing has slipped on its neck, and then downwards, in polukruzhe cut. And suddenly I have heard a palm as its heart fights... Galja has stood, but an instant later has put a palm on my hand and has pressed it more strongly to the body. I have bent and have whispered: — Gal, I wish to kiss... — But you kiss? — She has not understood. Also has thought suddenly: — A-a-a... But — a dress? How? — I will break off it! Galja has become silent, like agreeing. I have already seized both hands for a thin cloth, even the crash was heard... And here: «Hectares-and-and-alja-a-a!» — its granny from a porch klichet. It has nestled on me, has kissed some times hastily and, having whispered: «Tomorrow in a dressing gown I will be!», – has disappeared... I have suddenly faltered and have become silent. That I so paint it? I was unpleasantly amazed with contrast in expressions of persons at my listeners. Boris polulezhal on a pillow, looked somewhere by me, on morozovye window patterns, and in its sight as it seemed to me, expression of indulgent boredom has fallen asleep. But Pashka, all izvertevshijsja, sat now again in Turkish and as if sglatyval each my word the slightly opened mouth. In a corner of its lips the saliva droplet, on the left side, gleamed. — Here so, in general, — I have dimly said and have crookedly smiled, — nurseries figli-migli... — Well! — has screamed Red. — in a dressing gown it was secured? CHyo was? — Do not fuss, anything especial, — I have sharply thrown and have solved to spite of all and all to continue, but already without pictures. For the sake of Pashki to be turned out, whether that? In general, I finish. The summons has come to army to me, and Galja has absolutely rebelled: quarrels — nearly every day. Whether was angry with my indecision, whether in advance was ashamed, that will not wait me... Before a holiday, on 6th of November, in club there were dances. I, as usually, hours per seven, already on darkness, have approached to its house and have thrown a stone in our window. Silence. I — one more. The gate has begun to creak, I look, instead of it the brother younger leaves, Vit'ka. — And the Pebble both has left after a dinner, and is not present. Serdchishko has pricked, but I still have thought nothing, can — at the girl-friend? Well it is fine, I go back to the culture House. I pass by school, towards – a couple. Have already missed each other, as suddenly serdchishko again — tuk! Sight at me non-standard, I can not precisely make out, and has as though felt — it! — Galja? Attention zero. -Galja!!! Stop. I edak stealthily approach, and itself I ask the God: though not it! Is not present — it. — We will go. She poluogljanulas on the guy — healthy, above me on a head — and carelessly speaks to it: — You, Vladik, go, I now will catch up. «Anything to itself!» — I think. That has departed steps on twenty. I have squeezed a teeth and silently enough I ask: — What does it mean, Galja? — Means nothing, — she easy answers. Is – my brother cousin, from Achinsk. For a week has arrived. Me aunt Katya has asked porazvlekat it, and he knows nobody that. That's all. — All?! And aunt Katya has not prompted concrete ways of entertainments to you? — I have broken. — Perhaps it not to walk under lanterns wants, and still that? It it is insulting has looked at me up and down. — And we with Vladik will solve it, that we would like... I wished to think, that now it I will strike, but was not in time – it has already started back from a tasty slap in the face and has shut the face with the hands. Has then turned and so, with the closed person, has run. The guy has rushed to it towards, has stopped and has creaked: — Now, Gal, now I it urabotaju, a reptile! I have stepped to zaborchiku square and with a gnash have pulled out shtaketinu. That was restive and, absolutely foolishly having shouted: «You wait, wait, I now will return!», — has led Galju, holding it thriftily for shoulders. I waited for it almost hour. Naturally, uselessly. Next day, after celebratory demonstration I did not become, as usually, to be thrown off, have told to friends that was ill and have started wandering home. Has gone for some reason not the shortest road, through a lane, and has curtailed on street Garden. By itself, all time of the yesterday's I think, already I execute myself... Also it is necessary such to happen: has managed me to pass by the house where 10 "And", Galinas the class, was going to a holiday to celebrate. Already hatyonka this behind remained, I hear, to me call. I turn around — Bucha from a gate to me a hand waves. Bucha this, Keshka Buchnev, was schoolmate Gali, – the guy stupid and priblatnyonnyj. I with it at level "greetings-greetings" was known. And for Buchej that, Vladik, looms. Bucha though was healthy, but trusovat, I precisely knew it, and that tipchik on the eve of itself(himself) has shown, and consequently I easy stand and I wait. But has not considered, that the holiday was, and that they already poddatye fairly. Bucha, the dog, trips to me, a glove on the right hand pulls and for bravery screams: What for Galju yesterday has struck? Galju what for yesterday has struck?. I only have thought: «Really salaga will dare?» — as has there and then flied up, has crashed down a back about the earth and has seen the feet in clouds. It became bad. — Bucha, — I have told silently, looking on it from the earth. — Bucha, this second you will recollect for the rest of the life... Bucha and has already come round (it knew, what is it not empty threats), has turned and has begun to mince back. That type, to my surprise, behind it. — Hey! — with malicious cheerfulness I have shouted, starting to rise. — hey, Vladik, and you where? Zamand-razhi-and-and-iroval!. To rise I was not in time. Kicked with all the heart. Bucha for fear absolutely oshakalel and fussy kicked, trying to get to a stomach. The same all tried to interrupt to me a nose or vypnut eyes. I felt a pain not as a body, and a brain: say, me beat also to me painfully. Also it was still terribly a shame before people who, having opened wide mouths, loomed not far. Then Bucha somehow it was especially dexterously put directly under a sigh, I have choked and has failed in hot darkness. The last, that has heard — shout Gali... Has regained consciousness from its kisses and tears. It was kneeling, supported my head palms and groaned: — Oh, well this such?! That they with you have made!. And here during this instant I also have understood, that simply I can not live without it. I like it! Wished to tell: «the Kiss me!», — but lips as if would not be, and language has swelled so, that pressed on the sky. Then I have approached it to myself and have nestled the broken mouth on its crying person. And in the distance already zanyla a siren "fast", I still, remember, was surprised – for me, whether that? Here so... They to me Have broken two edges and the left clavicle, bruises I did not consider. provaljalsja in hospital there is more than month. The military registration and enlistment office a delay, by itself, has given on half a year. Galju as have changed: in hospital every day secretly from mother ran, and when has left — both minutes considered see you in the evening and then till the half-night could not leave... — buche vozvernul dolzhok? — Has interrupted Pashka. — Yes is not present... Galja like the ultimatum has put: I, say, one in all am guilty, wished to test you and if you want on me insult vent — though beat! He, the truth, and itself in hospital resorted, pardon asked, and then an entertainment has exposed. But my friends sent on errands it that evening — only feet and have rescued. Then to me it to protect from them it was necessary... However, lines with it! Here there was for what Pashka with such impatience waits. Its parents have left for New year to relatives in the next city. It was huge miss from aunt Frosi. Though they and Vit'ka have left, but that twelve years Vit'ka if it already became inevitable if we already have so become crazy could make, that in the middle of street started to kiss, having forgotten about all and all. In a word, we met New year in its house. Three together. Vit'ka honesty sat till two nights, but from a champagne glass has flaked out and eventually has crept away in the room. Well and — happens... Have then got a fright terribly. Galja sobbed violently, risking to wake Vit'ka, and all lamented: «That now will be?!» I calmed her, and at most already spoilt ryobryshki ached, as soon as aunt Frose recollected. More shortly, we were tormented, tormented each other fear, and then nevertheless have realised, that a sin, as they say, is already made and дéла will not correct. natselovalis also have fallen asleep. I it and see more often, recollecting, — in the embraces, fallen asleep, tear-stained and with a smile on the swelled lips... I have felt shchekotanie in a nose and have hastened to have a fit of coughing. Boris as I have noticed, already attentively listened and now has delicately looked away. Pashka impatiently waited the pause end. Here... And next morning after the first marriage night — a mute scene: we open eyes and only, still sleepy, by lips were to each other pulled, we hear — champing and gurgle. We are thrown up — Vit'ka sits at a table, guzzles a pie, with lemonade washes down and on us like an attention zero. Galja a blanket has jerked on itself and has already screamed: — Who has allowed you?! And the brother-akselerat edak spokojnenko: — To you that, a pie is a pity? Do not weigh I will devour... I have understood at once, that we have fallen into web strong networks and has asked: — Particularly, what it is necessary to you? — It is a little, — the brother-villain, — your pistol-lighter, and from it — its coin box with all interiors answers. In general, he thoroughly then blackmailed us: at me a half-pay on it left, and I on building decently earned. But, the truth, did not give out, though Galju, the young reptile, in every possible way offended and exhausted. We while suffered and in general somehow did not discuss seriously, that to us to do further. And it was necessary, it is necessary to begin this conversation and me — I it then when all has already occurred, has understood, yes late already was... It is necessary to tell, that we already really to live have begun. Galja has grown bolder, and I have started pomalenku to become impudent and about aunt Frose to forget. That in our house a shelter found, when at my mother at evening school of employment dropped out, Galja to old men to spend the night asked for leave, and I made the way at night in its room — the grandma with the grandfather were hard of hearing. More shortly, lived did not grieve. And at Gali the hyphen in character was, which to furiousness did not like me: rolled on it sometimes cynicism any, and it such minutes before disgust impudent and vulgar became. As in that case — with Vladik. Transitive, whether that? Well here, once we meet in the evening, already towards the end of winter and — to me. I on road have noticed, that it all is excited also itself not the. But explains nothing and into quarrel runs. Well, I think, has again rolled, very long ago did not happen. We come, we undress, in sense — a coat we remove, and it at once: — Well, what, in love, so to say, we will be engaged? We will enjoy?. I am mild I answer: — Well you, Galjush, are angry? What's happened? — Yes anything especial, the mister the lover, — shouts, — stishata here fresh has learnt. Wish? I silently have shrugged shoulders and in general have solved will keep silent – let perebesitsja. And it an intense voice and ridiculously gesticulating, the beginnings: — The sun shines, and the acacia blossoms. I go, smiles not concealing: At me today — menstruatsija... Means, not the pregnant woman I!. Also asks with a call: — Well as? I still have understood nothing and not in mood — absolutely, as now Pashka — involuntarily hohotnul. — Witty, only poshlovato it is sensitive... — poshlovato? — Has suddenly cracked Galja, has wearily fallen on a bed and has looked from below upwards at me plaintively and with hope. — most poshlovatoe that now these rhymes not about me... Represent, how I was dumbfounded? At once in a head has jumped, that in similar cases it is accepted to do the offer, so to say. I about something such also have started talking, at first uncertainly, then with great feeling, a heat, saliva splashes. Galja, having hung a head in a palm, was silent. Then has sharply thrown up a tear-stained face (I and have not understood, that she cried!) and almost in a full voice has shouted: — Yes you the idiot, whether that? I that, for pregnant women should sew a special school uniform, yes? Or mum to ask? Perhaps she will sew, if does not kill before the daughter!. — Well? — vjaknul Pashka. I, appear, have again become silent, having carried away in memory for hundreds kilometres, in small our house, that February late evening. — Well, well!. Not nukaj! Its words have come true... — What, has killed? — Boris has not believed. – Yes, it is possible to tell so... Here I, it... More shortly, Galja has made the decision and searched for any grandma. And me the ultimatum: if I will not help to find — the nobility does not know me. Terms soon came to an end. Well I also have dared at an extreme measure — as wanted is better! — has chosen the moment when Galja at school was, and its father at job, and has become hollow to aunt Frose. Has become hollow and brjaknul: so supposedly and so, at us with Galej the child will be, I wish to marry supposedly, and she searches for the grandma and it is necessary to rescue... As it has not killed me, till now I do not understand, but was terrible during that instant! I, when was already pulled out, for Galju seriously was frightened: has understood, that from aunt Frosi it is necessary to expect all really. Also is not present that at once Galju to warn, I at first — home. However, and the kind at me torn to pieces was, it was necessary though to wash and change clothes... Here, while ran, all and happens. Its aunt Frosja from school has pulled out at once and home has dragged... When I have come tearing along, Galju already "fast" have taken away. This nit so over it has worked, that at Gali not only the abortion has happened, it in general, probably, mother cannot become now... That's all. I after that its all time saw, already after hospital. Has changed terribly. Wished to start talking, and she so has looked at me. — Disappear. See you I can not. And itself as in water has sunk — has left, it is not known where. And me in the spring here zabrili... Here so I was married, as they say, a civil marriage, happily, but is short... — Yes-a-a... — Boris has stretched thoughtfully. — at you somehow all on the contrary and strange. Usually the guy of the child does not want. And what for you should stand on the? Really, then, after school, after wedding and — the child... I have only grinned what now to advise, say. Well as though I have explained, that the thread connecting us with Galej, has stretched by then already to a ring... Would appear certain JUra from parallel 10. I had almost absolute confidence, that at them business has come much more further kisses. Perhaps it was a fruit of jealous imagination how tried to assure me Galja? So is not present, I something saw and noticed, and at most Gali burning transparent hints broke minutes of quarrels. And even has screamed time that hates me and my child. In a word, I felt approach of accident and clung to this child, as for last straw. Thought, it will connect us with Galej very firmly in knot for all life... Unless I could tell all it even in such conditions? And what I understand? Why Galja suddenly so has sharply stopped loving me? Whether liked in general? Why I, so passionately hating it even for prospective change, nevertheless could not come unstuck in any way? Why I cannot forget it till now? Though it is humiliating, humiliating, humiliating, oh, damn, when you will stop loving!. And what we, for that matter, in general know about love? Well, what? After all we, as a matter of fact, terribly ignorant people in love, we are absolutely illiterate and ridiculous in the understanding of the sacrament connecting the man with the woman. And more after all we are proud of it! As soon as knowledge kapeljushechku will come casually, already otplyovyvaemsja, we turn away are a dirt, it is platitude, these are low instincts, it is sex and a pornography!. To me here distances of times in strict confidence all for one night the book Imelinsky «Psychohygiene of a sexual life», translated into Russian and published by publishing house "Medicine". I have, of course, swallowed it a volley, it has amazed me with that has simply and intelligibly told about that major part of a life which in many respects defines destiny of everyone, but is persistently ignored, hanzheski is shaded. I even have written out one history from this book. Here it: «To us the 37-year-old married woman has addressed. In a youth it was the beautiful, well combined girl. At boys was a success already in an elementary school. When she was 12 years old, the native uncle with whom she stayed in village, tried to tempt her, but it has not given in. Subsequently, is elderly about 17 years, repeatedly received"offers"from guys, but always them rejected. It did not like these children, and she wanted, that"it"happens only on love. From 17 years sporadicheski was engaged onanizmom. When to it 18 years were executed, has fallen in love with the 22-year-old man. It was persevering, and it eventually has conceded. The sexual intercourses which they practised within 2 months, were very unsuccessful in connection with too early semjaizverzheniem at the partner. During these intercourses she has never tested orgazm though, being engaged onanizmom, it tested. Once she has learnt, that the lover to it changes. News has shaken it, she has refused to meet it though and very much on it grieved. Girl-friends tried to console it as could, acquainted, in particular, with other men, but is ineffectual — any of them did not like it. At last, on a visit at one of girlfriends its attention the 19-year-old guy, has involved with something suddenly liked. It that evening was slightly drunk and especially did not resist, when it declined it to sexual affinity. Has refused only the sexual intercourse. Next day, recollecting happened, tested shame and fastidiousness to this guy and to itself. To meet it any more did not want. In 21 year it has made friends with the man who liked it and with which it together worked. It was kind to it, helped with job, for what it was very grateful to it. In the beginning to it its courtings when they began to accept obviously sexual character were pleasant, she has told, that does not like it. Nevertheless it was not receded and has finished business before, that they practised petging which gave it sensation orgazma (that it hid from it). Subsequently they lived the sexual life, bringing both sexual satisfaction. When she was 22 years old, it was raised in a post and it has left in business trip together with the head of the enterprise. Till now she not in a condition to explain, how it has turned out, that under the influence of alcohol has all night long spent together with this person. Had disgust for and for it (it was the elderly person, besides it is perfect to it not liking) in the morning. In 25 years has married. It seems to It, that the husband does not like. It takes for its liking, it is kind to it, but also, it would like to marry, have the house and a family. After a year has given birth to a daughter. Relations of spouses developed not bad, but a sexual life extremely unsuccessfully. Its husband — the person absolutely not skilled in sex questions, and her never was possible to test with it orgazm. If she sometimes also felt orgazm, only resorting to onanizmu. The sexual intercourses with the husband more and more it irritate and torment — on this soil the conflict already appears. As she feels, that to it all becomes more difficult to live in such atmosphere, has decided to address for the help. It would not like to destroy a family, but also a sexual life with the husband it to take out any more in a condition... » You only present, that any modern writer-realist undertook to compose the novel on this, in essence, a ready plot. As it will force psychology as will be accepted is thin to explain spiritual searches unsuccessful to love of the heroine, its searches of the unique promised. One, whether see, it is having little education and rough, another — is lazy and ungifted, the third — the egoist, the fourth does not take a great interest in sports and badly copes sotsobjazatelstvami at job... E-e-e, yes what there to speak!. * (Amazing coincidence! More recently I too managed to get «Psychohygiene of a sexual life» K.Imelinskogo. Undoubtedly, that it is necessary to read it to each civilised person and as soon as possible, in a youth... But here such incident: it was necessary to me to offer this, I will underline — published the Soviet publishing house and in the mass edition, — the book of one acquaintance, adult, quite intelligent, with higher education the woman of twenty it is already far just over years, it was terribly and sincerely offended and has ceased to greet me. And itself, by the way, cannot understand in any way why it in marriage do not take... So about barbarity and ignorance I with the owner of a writing-book agree all hundred.) Boris has suddenly smiled. — Yes-a-a, children if here there was any fan of statistics it would deduce two conclusive conclusions. First, he would began to confirm, the first love anyhow happens is connected with a New Year's holiday: or begins on the night of New year — as at me; or, alas, dies — as at Paul; or, at last, reaches a culmination point — as at Alexander. The conclusion two oppresses number with the tragic element, whether that: the first strong feeling necessarily comes to an end with accident. For hundred percent! And, — Boris continued quite seriously, nodded on me, — in thirty three and three tenth percent men (I have crookedly grinned), in one third of cases (a nod towards the Pasha) — other men, well, and in that group as which it is safely possible to rank me, — shershe lja fam are guilty in it. — CHyo it for "ljafam"? — Has muttered considerably inflated for «other men» Red. Is, — instead of Boris I have explained, — in a translation into Russian means — chuviha is guilty. By the way, Boris and where your sociologist would put the remained one tenth percent? After all at us it is actually classified only ninety nine and nine? — Let's not go deep into a jungle of calculations and we will leave this share of percent as an exception. After all if people have been assured, what are not present uniform chance of happy first love, what they would do? — Probably, would fall in love at once on second time, — I have made witticisms. — Not-e-e, dudes, — with conviction rubanul Pashka, — on the second I do not want! And to one time — in! Well them to yo … j mothers, these women!. With Pashkoj, unfortunately, with Boris we close friends did not become. Have recovered, have dispersed on the barracks, met then off and on in club or soldier's cafe. * (Rasskaziki and especially a fragment about a sexual life, at first sight, have to a narration no any relation, but unless it so? First, stories are shown as though themselves by samples of fictional creativity of the owner of a writing-book. Secondly, its memoirs on own first love outline even more accurately, clear up its character, an essence. And thirdly, and in general a lot of interesting it is possible to gather about the author from this chapter. Unless it is not visible, what, writing down stories already after an infirmary, a post factum, it it is intended through speech sharzhiruet Red and, on the contrary, ennobles, idealises Boris? And unless it not seems at times Boris's story and at all an invention, Boris's romantic imagination and unless the author of notes does not understand it? Then why it passes these "memoirs" quite seriously, without an irony shade?. As you can see, to reflect here is over what, the information is available.) <<<(P. 3) (P. 5)>>>
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© Rosedkin Sergey Nikolaevich, 2001
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