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BARRACKS P. 2 |
The chapter IIIThe most painful for the person in the slightest degree conceiving is a fear of humiliation of its human advantage. Muchitelnost is faster not that can humiliate you, and that you can be humiliated... I knew behind myself shameful slabinku: a minute of sudden collision with rough physical strength and aggression I could run into catalepsy as in a faint, and it is perfect against own will to obey, give in, lose heart, be humiliated. Certainly, not to last limit, not excessively, for example, on knees I under no circumstances and never in a life will rise. But here, besides for example, if same major Soplov, sharply and unexpectedly having seized me for a collar, raises and has shaken as that follows, quite possibly, all bravado washing, all my intellectual vstoporshchennaja pride skukozhilas, look, has hidden for a while, and I, even have run to be cut. Us a lot of such, physically not so strong, afraid not so much a physical pain, mordobitija as that, namely humiliation so in solving second humiliated, not in time to jump through line of an act. Here just second, literally sekundochka is important — hardly has tarried, promenzhevalsja, proreflektiroval, has not arrived and — late, already zaskolzil on sklizkomu to a slope of lack of will to edge, to shameful subordination to another... Running once again forward, I will tell about the nasty similar episode most, maybe, from my army biography. It is especially painful for me in memoirs, that has happened not on the first days and weeks of service, when if not I, then associates such extraordinary in the given history would not see anything (you will think, young to mind-reason have taught!), and already in second half of term. I already was registered on a scoop, the form carried shchegolevato, the sight had opened and independent, besides was on special to the bill in rote, and, perhaps, in a shelf as the designer (rather valued status in army — about what later), the editor of the regimental radio newspaper, plus to all worked in an exclusive place — city housing-and-municipal management of the sanitary technician-accident-prone person on duty and, thanks to it, had unique for the soldier of urgent service the document, the so-called routeing sheet granting the right of single circulation on a city at any time. In a word, I was in the weakened condition and already have quite ceased to be afraid of extreme situations which, by the way to tell, on the first year of service arose often enough. That ill-starred winter day to me the second change with watch in ZHKU has dropped out under the schedule. After a dinner, having turned in the newspaper Chekhov's small volume — books I took on watches always, — I vigorous step have gone to a way. The part check point stood a lung as I have got used to consider, an obstacle in this way only. The Check-point in garrison is (can, somebody does not know) all the same, that a checkpoint at factory or factory: there are gate, there is a corridor with a revolving object where watchmen sit at glass and check the admission. Only in army, by itself, not watchmen, and fighters from karaulno-patrol roty as we them named — gansy. The subtlety consisted that on the established order the ordinary structure could fall outside the limits garrison only a system and led by the commander. So to us, odinochnikam, it was necessary to expect at gate of a passing column and to be attached to it — business usual. But this time very much long fellow travellers it did not appear. And morozets drew in. Adjusted also time. And, here goes! I have tightened a belt, have corrected a cap (gansy liked to carp on trifles) and have independently stepped in wooden tunnelchik a check point. The revolving object has appeared on a free course, I krutnul it and, deliberately not looking for glass, have directed forward. — Where? — The imperative hail was distributed. I have pretended, that have not heard. And already opened a door on street, on freedom, already was going osvobozhdyonno to take breath, as suddenly behind under a belt on a waist someone's rigid hand has squeezed and has sharply jerked my body back. And here from this unexpectedness, suddenness I, probably, also have frozen. I felt all heat of a shame, feebleness when this iron hand so it is resolute, that I was not in time and could not turn, have dragged me who even not are not resisting, through all pass back, and then through porozhek in a room of persons on duty, but anything to do neither with myself, nor with circumstances could not. In dezhurke gans, the healthy and thickset forehead with mad eyes, jerky has developed me and has absolutely mechanically thrust a ferro-concrete fist in my absolutely unprepared stomach to blow, hardly above a buckle of a belt and hardly below edges — in most that on there is a groaning place. It was necessary to break half-and-half. — CHyo, the swine strojbatovskaja, whether has become deaf chyo? Oborzel completely?. Slightly still I will smear a situation. I for certain spruzhinil, hardly having come in myself if would be physically stronger than this reptile or knew boxing receptions, sambo-wrestling, karate. I could (and have been obliged!) spruzhinit and in any case — I after all am excellent in the theory knew, that each duel is won not by force of a body, and strength of mind, furious inflexibility, confidence of the victory. But here such minutes and such as I, a lot of thinking, just also ruin uncertainty in a victory. I do not doubt, that the most courageous people — not arguing people, that all heroes during the moment svershenija a heroic act operate with them impulsively, feats are made in that condition, kakovoe newsdealers oboznachivajut by a stamp «seconds not deliberating». What I, justify myself? In no way! Then, subsequently, more and more time scrolling in memory this vile scene in a check point and screwing up the face from the scraping I smother shame, I could not excuse to myself just that first second when I have had time to analyse, that this gans is more healthy than me, that gansov in general a little and even if I will start to be waved, me will shamefully break. And in general they are formally right... And I have trembled. I have picked up the cap which has flied from a head and have started something idiotski to mutter about routeing sheet, delay on job, the water failures able, say, now to occur in a city, and I to it-de should run immediately on watch... (And during this moment I should, as represented then in overdue dreams, short cutting blow zvezdanut duboloma a fist in the person or, even better to drive a sock of the kersey boot to it in a groin that it has sat down on hunkers and have started to catch an open mouth of a molecule of oxygen in surrounding atmosphere. However, I even in imagination hardly represented myself in similar sketches, therefore under a curtain of dreams lost a definitive and comprehensible variant: I after humiliating blow am instantly straightened, I lift haughty the chapter, easy-with astonishment-is haughty I fix the gaze the in grown dull gansa and pejoratively I utter. «The young man! — I speak. — the young man, you know, whom you have dared to strike?.» And that, naturally, starts to vibrate, as a jackhammer, and to do before me knikseny...) In a word, I have become puzzled inexcusably. And further in general there was something ugly and monstrous. A para-three of minutes have completely dropped out of my consciousness, from my memory, and I suddenly find out myself on karachkah fidgeting on a floor of a check point with a wet rag in hands. I washed this accursed floor and did not howl almost with sucking internal shame, and even not momentary, sejchasnogo, and what I had a presentiment in the future. Hans who has arrested me, sat, raskorjachiv feet, on a chair (the others left on street) and skuchajushche looked through my Chekhov: — CHyo, very competent?. Formally everything, except blow under dyh, was not beyond legality. I had no right to pass one through the control, but have gone, me have detained and in punishment have thrown on a floor. But mean blow and that I so mutton-is uncomplaining undertook to shuffle their nasty trampled floor when I have forgotten, during what times and in the barracks last time played a role polomojshchika, is me has broken. And I at all very much was surprised, absolutely at all was not indignant, and even with any voluptuousness of self-abasement have sustained a final farcical scene of this disgusting performance. When gans, from my absoluteness, probably, become kinder, it has politely suggested to be waved by caps though both at it, and at me they were equally new, but here I to it was looked by something more, I silently have removed the, have given, have got on on a head another's, took under the mouse of the witness of my humiliation of Anton Pavlovicha Chekhov and in a hot tetanus of apathy have walked in the regiment. On job this day I have not gone any more. Had no time for job. I repeat, if the given incident has occurred on the first months of service, I all, probably, would apprehend more easy — not blow, of course, and washing and even an exchange of caps. I then prepared for it, not to be humiliated prepared, and to differentiate, where heavy, unpleasant, but ordinary inevitability, and where already excess of circumstances, humiliation of advantage. Where it is necessary not to give in, not to endure. But the destiny (if only it is) had first a kind feeling for me. When we, the recruits who sworn on fidelity Fatherland and have strained in expectation of the further fate, prepared for tests salazheskoj a life and "friendship" with old men, to us declared, that decided our by 5th rote to leave the status educational on half a year. And this means, as to us have explained, that the basic part of staff remains on a place: one of us will go on employment to educational combine strojtresta, and other manufactures which have already smelt to army, will be included into student's branches-brigades and at once will start to plough on objects. Thus, the main thing was defined — rota almost all will be one appeal. Only then I definitively also have quite realised, how much to us have had luck. Though it to "us" did not switch on, alas, Vit'ka Hanova. It, as well as several more put out, have selected for serzhantskoj schools. In the place if I will not forget, I will tell, how has spoilt or, maybe, the further service has shown-has revealed nature of the Khan... And however, what for to postpone on then when I just and would begin like conversation on humiliations, self-respect, moral distortions in army. Here about such as Vit'ka Hanov, place and to talk. We have met it again only in one and a half year. After uchebki the Khan has got to other part, served as the commander of a platoon and here shortly before ours dembelskogo the order has arrived on any meeting to our garrison. As it also happens between the friends who have weaned from each other, the exaggerated pleasure of a meeting has begun to seethe, everyones have gone rough hvatanija each other for hands and theatrical a clap palms on the shoulders: «Well, how you? — And you as?.» I have seen-has felt at once, that Vit'ka became not that, not the boy, not simple-plain, in something even modest and silent. Its speech sounded now loudly, komandirski, language carried an obvious print soldafonstva: prapor (ensign), on duty on a hut (the person on duty on rote), gans (patrolman) as chknu in a sphere (I will strike in the person), chuhnar (the worn out, hammered sapper) to smoke мочú (allow to light), a chock (natsmen) and other pearls of ours strojbatovskogo a lexicon streamed from its throat, as well as foul language, easily, naturally, habitually. Soon we have got butylyok to kerosene, vkerosinili on hundred yes then on hundred fifty, having had a snack sweets and when transparent, but the notable wall otvychki between us has thawn, Vit'ka Han has opened more widely a collar habe, has removed a belt at all (we were arranged in a part staff in my room of the radio newspaper), and zazhurchal, zabulkal its inspired story about military service. So to say, the fighter recollects the past days... But already in half an hour it became melancholy and boring to listen to the Khan. Everything, than its army life has been filled, found room in simple fabulnuju the scheme: ke-e-ek chknu in a sphere! — Prikanaju with self-wolves in a hut, — the Khan was filled in podhmelevshy, — and salagi oborzeli — sleep. The Pas-and-adyom! — I shout. Without the permission of the grandfather sleep sluggishly and immoderately? I build chuhnarej: to stand! Standing-and-at! On standing at attention! There is along a system and every second ke-e-ek chknu to a sphere! From hoofs!. Eyes of the Khan shone, it tastefully clicked hardly compressed right fist about the left palm and is self-satisfied vshohatyval, splashing a saliva. I repeat, and in a peace life I knew Vit'ka rather badly, have published, but nevertheless representation as a whole about him had, and the first days would give the chance like to be convinced of army quite, that the guy it quite good, not criminal and here — нá to you! But I am strong was not surprised to this regeneration or, to tell more soon, to degeneration of character of the person in such short terms. For months of service similar regeneration-degeneration to observe it was necessary personally. The khan could and not tell (yes it and did not tell almost) as in an early youth, in salazhestve it has taken with lihvoju from old men and grandfathers, pounizhalsja thoroughly, well and then, having saved up in itself shameful cargo of these own humiliations, has counted itself has the right, having turned the saved up experience to pass it salagam following generations. Not everything, by itself, and that who poslabzhe in knees. Such as the Khan, it is ordinary very thin feel, whom it is possible chknut in a sphere and who is not present: the first half a year in army all — salagi on an appeal, but not on character. However, it is necessary to tell, that old men like the Khan which test sincere orgazm, scoffing over young which make to itself as though a duty as they it name to learn salabonov lives and for this purpose do not regret neither forces, nor time, such devout starosluzhashchih, grandfathers on belief in army meets not too much, but each of them is in time for those some months that carries a rank of the old man, to travel all over pair-three flabby young children, to break them, to finish to full degradation and even to a desperate act up to runaway, attempt at suicide or, that else, maybe, incomparably is worse and gazhe, has time to transform them into cynical geeks like itself. I could not observe personally how passed all stages from oppressed to oppressor Vit'ka Hanov, my fellow countryman, zemljachok mine which the friend to me was not and now, possibly, does not become, already never, but I can imagine it very much even easily and in images, in pictures. Because and in ours rote three-four fighters have done similar career for two years of soldier's destiny. One of them — the nimble shaky guy with a dribbling mouth and widely planted eyes of purulent colour on surname Zybkin and by a nickname (klikuhe) the Gut. It was remembered by much of us from the first, even, it is better to tell, the prefirst days, from road. Then, in the car, somewhere for the third days of a way this Zybkin, grown weak from long pjanki, ostentatious to spirit and rolling in a light slumber-semidelirium on the top lateral shelf, has suddenly created plentiful deposits directly on playing in the bottom of gamblers. It, the truth then have not strongly punished for svinjachestvo, have only laughed fastidiously, ponasmeshnichali, have forced to rub and wipe up chilly-dry smelly urine, but all who went with it in the car, all have remembered, certainly, this shameful incident with the Gut and thereof very much even strongly were surprised to the metamorphosis which has happened to it by the end of service. Beginnings Zybkin to serve-serve at once, still when to us obkarnyvali the rests of heads of hear in soldier's club. While I already mentioned, in windows with maniacal interest old residents of garrison, and some of them with rather selfish interest looked. One, the high-cheekboned Asian with slanting and greedy eyes, osoblivo was impatient, all fidgeted, attracted a finger, something asked, demanded. I remember, I have approached also: what's the matter? — Money give! Give money — all the same will select!. — it is persevering chastil the narrow-eyed. I have only shrugged shoulders — delirium any! — also has departed. And so, unique who has given in then on a fishing tackle, it has appeared Zybkin. It was necessary to it to understand, that from it it is required, suddenly even hasty, fussing, has started to pick out money from a pocket, is underlined conspiratorially looking back supposedly imperceptibly it is necessary to scroll operation, will prevent, God forbid, was accepted a window leaf otkolupyvat (through a door it is impossible — protection), has stretched a tribute to the enterprising impudent fellow, roubles ten, and even fifteen — a little zelenenkih and zheltenkih, thus muttering: a pier, Zybkin my surname supposedly I from Kharkov supposedly from the bottom of the heart share supposedly for a new companion absolutely droplets it is not a pity... Among us there were the individuals who have managed at once to enter into friendship with any grandfather or even with several starosluzhashchimi, as a rule, with fellow countrymen, and such friendship in any measure rescued them from the most humiliating parties salazhenstva, at least — from frank mockeries. Zybkin, such breed, even having become closely acquainted and having converged with two-three aged men including with that Asian-extortioner on surname Turusunov, appeared then in ours rote, protection at them has not deserved, and, on the contrary, is more and dlitelnee all other given in young underwent the salty moments voluntary and compulsory holujstva. My god, cowardly, flabby nature is capable to reach what mean limits of a servility like Zybkina on the first year of army service. Similar happens unless as to me told, among convicts, that is quite probable and natural. Not only that the Gut cleaned to any grandfather, more often that Asian Turusunovu, boots, filed undercollars, erased habe, brought in the morning a soldering from a dining room directly in bed («Look, the Gut, move with a horn! Less than ten pieces to sugar you will drag — I will kill!»), ran behind cigarettes in garrison shop, dimmed bed — in a word, celebrated a post of the striker, but it also forced to play a vile role of the clown and razvlekaly. He has been obliged to tell at bedtime fairy tales Turusunovu, at will of old men Zybkin danced in a washroom to a room vprisjadku or stood in pass between cots on hands, loudly crowing. Eventually it for a fun have begun podtravlivat on the one-recruits, more quietly, and then and on children of the following after our generation. And here by one and a half years of the military experience the Gut from the shivering geek, under the first requirement resignedly rubbing clean in a washstand blevotinu obrygavshegosja the drunk grandfather, has turned to such sticky, impudent, spiteful and refined oppressor of youth, that we simply wondered. It was necessary even to bring to reason the Gut from time to time. But it has so changed, has so grown together with a new skin, that at times snapped at us: — CHyo stir? Young not to learn — completely oborzejut, with a horn will cease to move... Us learnt!. By the way, once, under a demobilisation, I have written the story "Newcomer" where one of heroes on surname Gandobin has written off, it is possible to tell, with Zybkina. Here this story: The newcomer In company kaptyorke — a heat. From overcoats, paradock, a boot, replaceable portjanok and the other soldier's good which has been spread out, razveshannogo and simply thrown on corners — closeness. Under a ceiling the lamp flares. For a long time it would be time razvidnetsja, but winter sugrobistye clouds hang at once behind a window, and day cannot glance in any way in the become covered with hoarfrost glass. December. The person on duty on a staff leaves, and the foreman of 5th roty Fedorenko, is drowsy shchurja the eyes which have swum away by fat, for about a minute considers the newcomer and sceptically draws in fleshy, as if at the thoroughbred rural maid, a lip. In a sight it it is possible to read discontent — whether premature pobudkoj, whether appearance of "replenishment". And that! The newcomer at all does not make impression of the grenadier. It is looked undersized, shchuplenkim — sickly. The overcoat not on growth hangs down from it patsanih the shoulders, worn shapchonka covers all short-haired head and bends down from top to bottom ears. The newcomer has eyes big, blue — devchonochi. In addition he, continually shmygaja a snub-nosed nose-button, spends each time on it a rough sleeve of an overcoat and periodically poddyorgivaet under the mouse rolled in a parcel paradku. And it, is called, it on a rack "quietly" costs! — How klichut you, the soldier, Anikoj, whether that? — The foreman grins. — Why? — The newcomer sincerely is surprised. — Akulov I, Alexey. The military builder private soldier Akulov. — See you! Terrible at you, the brother, the surname, — ascertains Fedorenko. — And answer ake me, Akulov Alexey where it is your new cap can be? — No, — having looked down and reddening, the newcomer silently answers, and then with any not clear call adds: — Me and in this it is good. — Well-well... As they say, business master's, — puts Fedorenko a point in conversation and rises because of a table. — We Will go, "hyshchnik", into place to be defined. The foreman shows to Akulov a free cot on the second circle and leaves in the kaptyorku-bowl. Only it begins mastitsja on a plank bed dodremat utreshnee as the person on duty by a part calls: — The foreman why your site of a parade-ground is not cleaned till now? I give half an hour. I will personally come to check up. Fedorenko puts a tube, in hearts swears and orders to call to the man on duty the newcomer. In an instant Akulov before it. — A companion the foreman on your order was! — What such foreman, moreover and sacred, to me was? — Not the foreman, and I, Akulov, ordinary your way a companion the foreman, to an order was not, and has arrived!. Become cheerful Fedorenko hems from pleasure. — Ek, the brother, also has wound you! Here that: the person on duty on rote will give out you a broom — it is urgently necessary to sweep a parade-ground to the third entrance. Has understood? — Has understood. — "Has not understood", and "is"! — the foreman tries to be rigid. — Well, is. — E-eh, go from eyes down with! In twenty minutes I will check up. Fedorenko observes through protalinku in a window as Akulov leaves an entrance and surveys snow parade-ground deserts. Krupjanoj snow strews densely and persistently. The newcomer lowers the valve shapchonki, the left hand hides more deeply in an overcoat sleeve, and right intercepts a sheaf of naked rods and begins to drive it here and there. There is an ice-hole of dark asphalt, but then while Akulov breath tries to warm hands, it is direct on eyes turns pale, is narrowed and disappears at all. «Here behaved in a queer way on my head, — the foreman sighs, — also hands will freeze...» — Sviridov! — he shouts to the person on duty on rote. — Carry ake to the newcomer of a mitten. Akulov hasty pulls soldier's tryohpalye gloves and with redoubled zeal is accepted to business. The snowfall as if is frightened its impact and gradually abates. The dark path of asphalt starts to grow … Dinner time comes nearer. Sergeant Sviridov takes the newcomer on preparation in a dining room. Akulov run carries on tables voluminous ognjanye tanks with soup and porridge, cool teapots with kissel, piles of aluminium cups. Now to it it is hot, and it wipes often sweat from a forehead the back party of a palm. There is a staff roty. Dirty, in black from solar oil and grey from cement working pea jackets and padded jackets, soldiers-builders take seats for long tables. The hubbub, snickers, a ware jingle mix up in a continuous rumble. Akulov gets accustomed to the new companions, trying to guess in them the future friends. It sits down last table that most at last thoroughly to have dinner, and at once feels in all body pleasant weariness. — New, whether that? — Asks its soldiers in the driven and pure form. — what appeal? — December, — Akulov willingly responds. — Salaga, means? So-so... — the neighbour significantly drops. — Cease, Gandobin! — its sitting next Sviridov straightens out. — though behind meal have a rest. — And you kolyshet, yes? Touch you? — That snaps. — The bore! — the sergeant a hand waves and turns away. When rota leaves, Akulov together with the second man on duty hands over dirty ware on kitchen, washes tables with hot water, sweeps a floor under them and only then goes to barracks. There it is attached on a stool at a window and intends deservedly to have a rest. At once the darling house is recollected, he sees mother, the father, bratuhu, hears their dialect... — Akulov! To the foreman! — interrupts its dreams shout of the man on duty. Fedorenko, already slept off, is in complacent mood. — Listen, the brother, — confidentially speaks it to the newcomer, — it is ordered us floors in barracks podrait. What do you suspect this bill? — I think, to wash it is necessary, — Akulov seriously answers. — As they say, there are no questions. A bucket and a rag you will receive at the person on duty. Barracks — the sizes about a kind sports hall. In an hour the foreman checks job: looks, groaning, under cots, looks captiously behind doors, even bedside tables from walls removes — everywhere shine and cleanliness. — The good fellow, "hyshchnik", turns out! — approvingly claps Fedorenko the soldier on a shoulder. — now have a rest. The newcomer falls on a stool and extends the stiffened feet. Evening approaches. The barracks plunge into twilight. In a washroom to a room from several cranes water tiresomely drips. All it makes up for a viscous somnolence on Akulov... But soon light flashes. Soldiers come back from job. The barracks are filled suddenly and at once. In one premise gomonjat more than hundreds persons also move. Who changes clothes in the pure form who hurries in a washstand. In one corner guitar jingling is already heard, from another laughter splashes reach, in the third quarrel inflames... While nobody pays to Akulov of attention. It silently sits in the corner and gets accustomed with curiosity to all event around. On its person the smile is shone. Very much it would like to talk to somebody! At 18 o'clock 30 minutes staff roty go for a supper. The newcomer sits down last table and only then notices, that in neighbours at it again Gandobin. With whom with whom, and with this type Akulov to communicate something it would not be desirable. Perhaps to change? While meditations last, Gandobin its piece of bread suddenly suffices and shifts to the cup. — What is it? — the newcomer is surprised. -That-o-o? You will guzzle much, you will badly sleep! Has truncated? — The neighbour threateningly breaks. The younger sergeant sitting opposite lasts through a table, shifts bread on a former place and with authority says: — Listen, Gandoba, lag behind the fellow. Has truncated? — Podu-at-umaesh! Soon salagam and words do not tell! — zlobitsja Gandobin, but ceases. After a supper, part and drill construction there comes hour of personal time. Akulov is attached in a household room and starts to file a fresh undercollar on a soldier's blouse. It so plunges into this employment, that involuntarily shudders from an unexpected push in a shoulder. Over it costs Gandobin. — CHyo, has become deaf? On e, file to me at first. Yes is more bright! The newcomer to steam of seconds takes a broad view open eyes and silently is declined over the sewing. — You chyo borzeesh, salaga? — Gandobin pulls out from Akulov's hands a soldier's blouse and throws in a corner. Noise in a change house instantly abates. One Gandobina are afraid, others do not wish to communicate. Those of whom he is afraid, now here are not present. — Well! — exciting itself(himself), he almost squeals and beats Akulov a fist in a shoulder. Time, another... And suddenly its physiognomy is burnt by a biting slap in the face. This sudden repulse so stuns Gandobina, that at it the bottom jaw falls off. He stares an instant from top to down at the newcomer and only is going to to "blow up", as the caustic voice of the foreman is distributed: — Well, brother Gandobin, tastelessly? Gandobin sharply turns around, something wants vjaknut, but as often happens in similar cases, breath does not suffice, and from its throat the sound similar on affirmative — yes is pulled out! -Ha-ha-ha! — laughs loudly bass Fedorenko, prislonjas to a door jamb. — Ha-ha-ha! Hi-hi-hi! Ho-ho-ho! — laugh amicable chorus salagi directly in eyes criminal Gandobe. The laughter is pulled out by pushes from Akulov's breast though it is still red for anger, and its fists are densely compressed. Even when Gandobin, sweaty from a shame and powerless fury, disappears, fun in a change house abates not at once. At last the foreman does a deep sigh, soaks through the embroidered kerchief of an eye, trubno smorkaetsja in it and with all the heart says: — Well done Well well done. Here that, the brother, ajda in kaptyorku, a cap to you good we will find — is more useless to such eagle in second-hand articles to go... Akulov, crimson already from confusion, selects a soldier's blouse from a floor and follows the foreman. Against Fedorenko it is looked absolutely by the boy. Narrow back the newcomer feels sights of children with which it is necessary to it to serve together the whole two years. I wrote this story, rules, perebelival, at last, having counted finished, have sealed in an envelope and nichtozhe sumnjashesja have deduced the magazine address «the Soviet soldier». And you never can tell? After all the story about army in this magazine and to print. Approximately in couple of months, I am literally before the departure home have received tonjusenky konvertik with firm «Soviet soldier». On firm, besides, the form it has been spanked: «A dear companion such! You have offered magazine «Soviet soldier» the story "Newcomer" and as write in circulation to edition, with impatience wait for its decision: whether will approach? The story "Newcomer" could not interest. The appeasable, fair, executive beginner has hardly arrived to serve, as has immediately met in division customs bursy — mordoboj among soldiers, mockery, the fist right — such you have drawn our military youth. Yes unless it such? Certainly, no! The story has not approached. The manager. Prose department, chl. The joint venture of the USSR Captain Skorohodov ». Having read it, I was dumbfounded and in a stunned condition was all the day. Such frankly cynical, mocking answer I, fondly admit, did not expect. At last I have definitively understood, why so zevatelno and it is awkward to read stories, to lead, novels about modern army service which are squeezed in this magazine, in other magazines and books. And how not to understand?. Though not clearly another: how it was led at us recently, has affirmed and has become as though the natural phenomenon the publication and the edition of the most frank literary hack-work? Really, reading next shirpotrebovskuju povestushku or the new stamped novel of other prolific author, thought I, really at the author the cogitative and conscientious centres have so atrophied in an organism, that he does not understand obvious true: gonorarnye money all the same istajut, and here the shameful fictional child of its lascivious mind will call still for a long time casual readers bewilderment, smiles, irritation and boredom. And about editors and reviewers like this captain Skorohodova and at all to speak it would not be desirable. It is a pity, the truth, that in those rare devastating critiques where it is a question about literary serjatine, names of authors-handicraftsmen still are called, but I will not remember a case that editors and zavotdelami magazines and the publishing houses, promoting duplicating ugodnicheskih, timeserving, vralnyh were nailed to a pillory, streamline opuses. And then we shout: the Soviet literature in decline, stagnation... Yes, in stagnation! However, now it is a question in general only of so-called army prose. So it was vulgarised, diskredtirovala herself, that further, apparently, and there is no place. Yes what there to speak! Recently read one knizhonku, in the summary to which it is told, what is it the first product of the author, «recently served active military service. It managed to show talently and authentically everyday life of soldiers of the Soviet Army». Read — cheekbones reduced. In the story of this is whether «the Soldier's island» is called, whether «Soldier's continent», something geographically ennobled, — for example, the sergeant, the commander of branch, dosluzhivajushchy the (seditious words "grandfather", "old man" and so forth in knizhonke were not used), very much worried, that its one subordinate from last appeal cannot have time to jump in time in any way on lifting. This sergeant also talks with salagoj (my term), and personally shows it skill secrets, and writes the touching letter to parents of the tell-tale, asking council about education of their offspring, and does not sleep at the nights, reflecting about the ward... And, at last, titanic efforts of the nice commander of branch crown triumph: once nedotyopistyj anika has jumped in the put seconds. Before a system of staff of branch the sergeant embraces the soldier, wipes about its thin shoulder avaricious dembelskuju (my term) tear and falteringly exhales: — I in you believed, a companion the private soldier! And that, sniffing, tonenko, with vshlipom says in space: — Thanks, a companion the sergeant! You tapericha to me zamesto the father native!. Here such heights of a socialist realism. The chapter IVU-u-uf-fu-fu-u-u! That it I so was sprayed by a saliva?. Has accumulated, probably, has broken through (my ill-wisher will read — will bite: as the water drain!), it was uttered. Now it is a little about the good. About such, as Akulov. I have written off it not that that directly from nature, but similar to it, I would tell, as military destiny of children in ours rote served not too a little. Destiny, instead of character. Because at all soldiers, managed to save the human advantage from the first steps to army, characters, natures were the most opposite — different, unexpected. The main thing, that their children had — characters. Such physical power is by nature given to some lucky beggars, that they for a call of respect for the person should spend absolutely minimum quantity of vital energy. From similar Muromtsev two — driver-Siberian Kohl Andreev and turner-Muscovite Ruslan Avdeev were especially allocated at us. Kohl — it is not long, hardly above average growth, but so strong, so monoliten in a torso and shoulders, that if it unintentionally to come across, having run up you will fly away, it is exact from a brick curbstone. It is hot, proud, quick-tempered, but not the petty tyrant, is not malicious, the force defies, but weak to frighten does not like. Is not afraid line, the God, neither old men, nor commanders. To submit to orders of seniors on a rank, of course, submits, but it is not fussy, indulgent, with a disposition to laziness. I remember its one story from a civil life which it showed in pictures, with enthusiasm, having reddened from tasty memoirs. — Vodjara me it is rare from feet knocks down, and here time has overdone — on wedding at the friend. To whom does not happen? Aha. I feel — has floated, and next morning — in flight. Has jerked home, to sleep off it is necessary. Aha. I go normally, it is sensitive, the truth throws on counter columns. Also remains to a hut of all of metres of half-hundred, here — on you: brakes nearby — legavye. Aha. «Children, — gutarju, — here my village, here my house native, I stir to nobody, I go to sleep. Do not become impudent!» No, have started hands to break out and in "funnels" me to push. Aha. And "funnels" — as hlebovozka, there one hundred muzhiks can be thrust, and more the place remains. Aha. Took they me on arapa, have shipped quickly, is professional — are able, reptiles. Already ruchenki mine in shoulders zanyli. But nichyo, I suffer, with them you will communicate — more expensively. Aha. And here — on you! They, dust, three with me in a box and any, I look, kobenistye have got. Only have got under way, one ka-and-ak me under dyh pripechataet. Aha. «I, — grunt, — will learn you freedom to like!» Eh, mother fair! Here from me hop also has flied. Aha. Ka-and-ak I have put it promezhdu an eye — on a wall have got. Those two — on racks. Aha. Also has gone mahalovka. Eh, also I have taken away I smother, that to all of them was empty, in tudy yours kachel! As balls on a box flied. Aha. And that have got used, reptiles, zagrabastajut for what the person moreover three together one kidneys otshibajut. I have taught them malenko to mind-reason... Aha... And has finished Kohl the story on the sad note: — Then, in kepeze, of course, zalomali they me. Aha. Almost a platoon have pulled hard — it was necessary to give in... And suddenly vshohotnul, happy with the joke. By itself, to Kohl Andreevu any of old men did not stick and at all did not try. After all grandfathers, and most priblatnyonnye, like Vit'ka Hana or the Gut, for some reason did not like, as I already spoke, to contact such, as Kohl Andreev. Ruslan Avdeev has appeared the guy silent, quiet, silent. But, my God, only the idiotic thought could come to to the mad or unconsciously drunk person mind — to try to offend this Goliath. There was it growth metre ninety three, the neck was no at all — the pig-iron sphere of a head with kind blue gljadelkami sat directly on a pig-iron pedestal of shoulders. Hands at Ruslana power resembled feet of the ordinary person, and feet can be compared it unless with... And the devil only knows, with what it is possible to compare the feet, everyone their which almost in a full grasp! Not the person — mountain. Ruslan belonged to the following after ours to an appeal and when we became already scoops, it remained still young. And here once one we armjanchik, Ashot Mnejan, loud, melteshivyj, has created preumoritelnuju a scene. He liked to take shy patsanchikov on a fright, hurriedly, hoping on support of the fellow countrymen (and Armenians really kept together, a dense flock-family, was them in rote the person twenty, and in insult each other, in difference, say, from Russian or Kazakhs, they did not give). And here in one perfect morning, having deceived by mild kind Ruslana, its tender which has fondly accepted for shy, a sight, half asleep, Mnejan has run into Avdeev. That stood, having reflected, in pass between cots, having leant the elbows on the second circle. — E, ara, wash a pastel to fill! — has terribly ordered kroha Ashot and for a floor of a jacket of beginnings Ruslana to pull. Avdeev has unwillingly come off the thoughts, has interrogatively looked on vstoporshchennogo a scoop, has unexpectedly raised it for grudki one left hand, has taken out on open space of the main pass, has thrust to itself under the mouse, has restrained an elbow and wide netoropkim step has gone to a washstand. There Ruslan has put a head shouting and spinning armjanchika under a stream of cold water, has tenderly rubbed off his face of the ruchishchej, has put on feet and it is sympathising has spoken in a bass: — Has woken up, ara? The spectators who have jammed in a washstand, enjoyed. Fellow countrymen unlucky Ashota laughed also. And what it was necessary to do? The swoop on Ruslana Avdeev from any point of view is ridiculous and ridiculous. But were both it is more difficult than destiny also episodes more dramatically. There were the desperate children, which characters a life army has seriously tested for a break. I will tell about one of such — Atknine. It came from Abakan, Semirussian-Semikhakas. The wild free nature looked through in its made narrower slanting eyes, wide cheekbones, a swarty skin. Weigh its shape forced to recollect at once free steppe, a fresh wind, horse footfall and a whistling of arrows. Was Atknin not gromozdok, it is sinewy, moved easily, pruzhinisto, kept independently and it is proud. Something he resembled those North American Indians who have got used to see we in gedeerovskih films and on illustrations to Fenimora Cooper's novels. Having arrived in rotu, he has met here the fellow countryman, the Khakas, already godka, the sergeant, the commander of branch. In any celebratory evening two of them sat in serzhantskoj to a room, talked. Atknin has relaxed, has lain down on a wooden sofa, has collapsed. Spoke, most likely, about tajmenjah, kakovye and on this still a time networks of poachers in channels chistostrujnoj tear sometimes the rivers Abakans... And here the grandfather, Petrov its surname, poddatyj on the occasion of a holiday and chronically raised on the occasion of a fast demobilisation has become hollow in serzhantskuju. There was it generally the grandfather not from impudent, not criminal, too was not exposed, and a role the mood of second here has played. Has seen Atknina and suddenly to jump up the beginnings: why, say, salabon in serzhantskuju has dared to enter moreover and rasshcheperilsja in the presence of the grandfather? And, as natural continuation of a remark, — a sensitive kick. Under unwritten scenario Atknin should evaporate instantly from a kind of the angered grandfather and to try not to come across to it on eyes within the next few days. Atknin from a kick has risen, but, instead of disappearing, instantly spruzhinil and a head, as a kernel, zakalganil Petrov in a breast from what that hrjastko dolbanulsja about a wall and was spread by a nape on a floor. But the fantastic scene on it has not come to an end. Atknin, vzjarivshijsja from fit of anger, has snatched on poverzhennogo Petrov and has started to trample down its heels of boots. When on shout and noise to serzhantskoj has run together rota, and some grandfathers have intended was to pull hard in a crowd on oborzevshego salagu, Atknin, having jerked over a head the heavy wooden stool, without restraint rotating zakrasnevshimi eyes and splashing a saliva, has begun to squeal: — Well-at-u-u! Dava-and-ah, who-o-o the first?. Patriarchs have trembled, have receded, trying to save advantage, threatening Atkninu. Yes here have still appeared foreman Yakushev and zampolit roty second lieutenant Kasyanov. Somehow a conflict fire have dipped. Fathers roty have made to participants of fight oral reprimands, have blamed them for the behaviour unworthy a rank of the defender of socialist fatherland, have ordered to put completely become drowsy Petrov to bed, well and have, of course, threatened: that-de in case of repetition strict measures up to a guardroom and a delay with a transfer to the reserve will be taken. But fire coals decayed. Grandfathers, naturally, could not so simply, without consequences, to leave this in general unique trick Atknina. Happened, that young does not submit to the old man, happened, that a beating of other hot salabon could answer and blow, being protected but that salaga has beaten the grandfather in lyozhku is present state of emergency. Understood the position and Atknin. Others young with fear and sympathy on it glanced, others tried to encourage at least in words, to encourage. He gloomy kept silent. Late at night when the staff roty, got tired, has calmed down, when hrapy, groans and posvisty have filled stuffy space of barracks, Atknina, sensitively waiting on the top cot, torknuli in a shoulder. — Rise, go in kaptyorku — call. The guy has resignedly come off bed, to put on did not become, has put bare feet in boots, has quickly wound on the right brush a belt, having left a flexible tip in centimetres ten with a weighty copper metal plate, and, growing white in twilight soldier's linen, has resolutely walked after a scoop-messenger to a den kaptyorshchika. There, standing an intense semicircle, it was expected by grandfathers, the person ten — almost everything which are available available. They, most likely, were going to, as usual, to talk with gone too far young, to scold him, to scare trohi, and then slightly and to teach naturally to how it is necessary to address salabonu with the grandfather... Atknin it is direct from a threshold, a word not saying, vlomil to the nearest aged man from the bottom of the heart on an attic a metal plate with a star, the blessing, that flatwise, yes to the second, yes has had time to threaten on the third before its kick in a stomach have fallen down from feet. Then only the man on duty, shuddering and blinking, heard because of doors kaptyorki vskriki, roars, matjugi, damnations and stupid sounds of blows on a live human body... In the morning starlej Rosedkin, as always hungover, has grumbling taken an interest: — What it penyok there in a corner of lifting does not hear? The foreman has shortly reported: — Private soldier Atknin. Badly itself feels. I have resolved. Atknin otlezhivalsja all the day long, has eaten only by the evening when the sergeant-fellow countryman has brought to it from a dining room a soldering — bread and pair of pieces of sugar. It laid silently, did not groan, like had as though a rest. On the person of traces of education was not. Again at late night, hour per two, behind it have come. It has gone down downwards, the belt has rummaged around — all belts have nearby appeared are hidden. Has silently gone. Has stepped through porozhek kaptyorki and from all sinewy forces pripechatal a fist of the first grandfather who has got under a hand. It again severely kicked on edges, a stomach and feet. And again it otlezhivalsja all the day long in rote, having taken cover with a head a blanket. Teachers carefully took away from it attention of commanders and persons on duty. In the third night, already knowing nature Atknina, grandfathers have met him in kaptyorke storozhko, jumping aside, and blow of the desperate guy was gone in vain. Also beat him this time somehow unwillingly, at half strength, it is possible to tell, puzzly and perplexed. It became already clear, on whose party viktorija... The next night for Atkinym have not come. I do not know literally, what words were said both during night slaughters and after all these events (Atknin was previous, May, an appeal and all it has occurred to us), but an essence not in words in summary — I saw, what unconditional respect and equality used at dedovsko-dembelskoj company elite Atknin, it was possible to me time and again and to hear details from eyewitnesses of that grandiose fight young Atknina for the personal sovereignty so, I think, the scenario it I has outlined correctly. I during one time managed to converge more close somehow with Atkninym, and I with burning undisguised interest peered at it, studied, pytal and enquired: what did he feel, of what thought those days and nights, during those moments when alone revolted against antiquated oligarchy how in general concerns army usages?. But, to my disappointment, Atknin, with its character, did not like to lisp on similar themes, nemnogoslovnichal. I would formulate its credo so: the person dead while it is live can endure mockeries only, should beat in a muzzle of everyone who has offended it. In nineteenth century Atknin, undoubtedly, would be the inveterate duelist. I will tell under the truth, I envy such people. I envy passionately and with insult, that, alas, the harakterishko to similar level to me not to hold on any more never, what is it — from the nature-mother, from the God... And can, nevertheless it is not so much from the God? Perhaps, the blood of the conformist inertly flowing in my veins, in veins of other silent fellow citizens of my generation is a product of an epoch? Possibly, it is possible to save pervonachalnost natures, independence and pride of character presently, only having in genes close memory of free steppe ancestors (that at the majority of Russian has disappeared behind a distance of centuries) and not burdening the brain lozhnostju participations in a system life? Perhaps all the matter is that such here Atkniny think a little (so it would be desirable to find to itself the justification!), think a little and argue?. I, primerivaja on myself a situation, am compelled to recognise, that after a vile hail and more Petrov's more disgusting kick, most likely, possibly and can be, silently have risen and, internally and outwardly natoporshchivshis, left from serzhantskoj. And then, blazing somewhere in a corner from samoedstva, would try to justify itself: after all it is formal this podhmelyonnaja right cattle — in serzhantskoj to a room to the ordinary sapper to be it is impossible without need... E-e-eh, and chyor-r-rt me pobral! One more category of the soldiers, managed to avoid in salazhestve reprisals, is blatata. From those it was especially allocated certain Derzin. He lived, such impression, under any other laws and rules, than all of us, the others. For it there were no standard rules, frameworks, and it seemed surprising, that it in general has got to army, is more correct — has agreed to get, almost year at the very least was registered on the military builder, yet has not got disbat. By the way, spoke, as to an appeal he has had time to delay already term on 206th, whether that, article, more shortly, — for hooliganism. This type, possibly, anything on light was not afraid. What there salabon! What reprisals! It is enough to tell, that from first month of service Derzin spent time either in serzhantskoj, or in kaptyorke together with old men and grandfathers and behaved so, that in dialogue with it other our native aged men behaved shy and modestly, aki scoops. And after all that is interesting, not such Derzin was smashed on appearance, with bicepses was not allocated, but looked through in its beautiful White Guard person with transparent grey eyes something before brutal, severe, cynical, that the rare person could talk and smile friendly with it. More shortly, in him nature of the murderer was felt. Besides about Derzina improbable hearings, that it the addict and gomosek went. And, it is necessary to tell, similar vile hearings quite laid down on its dark appearance. To give any evident impression about this being, I will tell only one, a characteristic episode which witness to me has had the luck to be. Once in the late autumn evening, on Saturday when the rain, and all of us in the street brawled, pining with melancholy of the compelled imprisonment in the grown hateful barracks, angry and boring, were unsteady from a corner in a corner, and there was this unexpected incident. The door in office, at once at an input in an arrangement roty, was open. That talked about the affairs komroty captain Borzenko (for eyes — ZHora) and the foreman roty ensign Utkin (at me for two years were replaced three commanders roty and five foremen so fresh names to be surprised is not necessary). Both of them, and in particular the fan of this business prapor, were on the occasion of Saturday in a condition of easy alcoholic euphoria. About Borzenko and Utkin I assume to talk more vastly in the place, now I will mention only, that the captain thrown on a raising of discipline in 5th rote from zamnachshtaba of a regiment, we from salag to demobilisations, frankly speaking, were rather afraid or, more precisely, have been cautiously compelled to respect — the present despot, the person abrupt. Prapora, pjanchuzhku which was kept in foremen of month two, especially did not honour, but nevertheless submitted — the ensign, the foreman, and on age almost is twice more senior each of us. So, our fathers sat in company office, possibly, kljukali on rjumashke from under a table and discussed a burning problem — as it to tighten it military discipline in become loose 5th rote? And at this time by writing doors the main infringer of discipline Derzin and, at all not hesitating of fathers has defiled, starts to do to the man on duty the order for the soldering: a pier, bring, the boy, after a supper of bread, fish and to sugar is more... From office the strict hail of the foreman is distributed — the voice was available for it: — Derzin, go here! — There is no time, — carelessly throws Derzin and continues to instruct the man on duty: — Fishes drag a double portion... — Derzin! I order! Go here! — the ensign presses tone. The voice of captain Borzenko is heard: — Whom it you? — As if he does not understand. — Yes Derzina, svolocha! — Derzin! — komandirskim a bass the captain imperiously orders. — Well, come here! Derzin, heels of seconds deliberately having hesitated, unwillingly, vrazvalochku besides, crosses porozhek offices... And suddenly Utkin jumps up to Derzinu and with ridiculous «on!» Gets to it a fist into a nose. Derzin jumps out on a ladder platform where has crowded already tolpishka curious, takes away a hand from a nose and shows zaalevshie fingers. — Saw? All saw? A gut, saw? Will be witnesses! Everything, will suffice!. Ensign Utkin is put out on arena. It already, it is visible on it, it is lost, regrets about the fervour. — Derzin, come into office! Come!. Derzin does not pay to it attention. He plays, it in ecstasy, he is inspired. — All have understood? The man on duty, too you witness! All will be witnesses!. — I to whom go... — begins was again prapor, as suddenly — hrjast! — private soldier Derzin unexpectedly beats him in the drunk person, yes at once second time — is biting, deafening, impudent. The foreman is taken aback, stunned and in an instant is enraged: it, almost the officer! The personnel officer! The father roty! Has dared!. At Derzina, in turn, on lips bloody foam, he chokes, pushes otharkivaet vskriki from a breast: — Young has found? The swine! A reptile!. They rush against each other, and ordinary, any civil trite fight begins. Crowd onemevaet: at many salazhat in eyes bewilderment and fear — unless such is possible? What now will be? Aged men roty are excited, in passion: well and Derzin! That takes the cake. Eh!. One emotions, interjections. Only senior sergeant Merzobekov, the commander of 3rd platoon (which, by the way, methyl to the place of the foreman and soon became them), rushes to separate duelists, starts to drag madman Derzina from the ensign who has grown dull in fight. Leaves at last the residence Zhora. He, possibly, not very much wishes to be shown to all rote in such weakened condition, but not authorised noise in its ancestral lands is absolutely indecently tightened, irritates. The commander roty costs, slightly rocking, and in any way, similar, will not grope that point of a support which would allow to restore its indisputable komandirsky the status. We, looking at it (Utkin and Derzin go for a drive on a floor), understand, that, maybe, for the first time this person with a heavy square jaw and eyes of a gorilla — in confusion, the guess, it is more than that, osenjaet us, captain Borzenko, is afraid, that him now simply will not obey... Here it is that Derzin. In any measure it was a unique person, there were in rote still children criminal the dark past, but to this criminal to all of them very much even was far. Has sustained Derzin less year. Time four for this time sat on a lip (a garrison guardroom), and then has obtained term in disbat: has gone on a spree in a city in any company, has twirled, zapjanstvoval and it was not shown in a part week — judged as for runaway. I think, that it already and on light white is not present, such running seldom live about advanced, grey-haired, dear years. Such unique persons burn down quickly and ridiculously. From our point of view. And, at last, rather easy, without special excesses and tragedies the service at those from us who was allocated their weights if not with physical strength and power of character, that began and proceeded ordinary, I would name it, force of intelligence. Here, of course, there is an immodesty share for I am compelled to rank as this category of military builders and, but the facts, the facts, one only the facts. I am compelled. However, the word "intelligence" (power of thinking, on Ozhegovu) in application to nice building armies, and in particular a word-combination «force of intelligence» sounds a little too. To be allocated with a head among sappers easy. It is enough to read books, to play chess, to be interested in newspapers, bezmaterno to speak, be able to draw, write without errors, to act at meetings and so forth, and already one it granted in a construction battalion what-any right to the special relation not only one-recruits, but also legislators roty, and commanders. However, naturally, not automatically. It is necessary from the very beginning, let incomparably smaller blood, than in the cases already told by me, but to show and prove the pride. Because there are always in crowd such criminal, ordinary, malicious, limited animals who just voznenavidevajut "very competent", "telligentov", "ochkarikov" and try first in every possible way such to humiliate, touch, stick with the person into a dirt. And, as a rule, associates till a time do not interfere: you have given in to such jackal at once, anybody then will not prevent to exploit to it you. Has not given in, has besieged the moron — he will not find support at the others, will lag behind. As I like already would write, children with education it has appeared in our numbers poorly. But the person three-four have got even with high school diplomas, it was necessary to serve them of all year, moreover the person ten-fifteen have managed to army to finish desjatiletku. In a construction battalion after all take away first of all all those who for normal army for whatever reasons does not approach. It and true semimorons from three - six-class education, and natsmeny basically from the Asian republics, almost completely not not knowing Russian, and types, pohlebavshie already prison balandy... There were at us even copies physical defects — stutterers, kosenkie, at one two fingers on the left hand did not suffice. One more is in general a joke! — on surname Timohin, by nickname Djadka, the fat silly muzhik with the old-looking woman's hairless person, similar on germafrodita, admitted somehow, that to it has already knocked 32 (!) years, that it for any needs has forged once year of a birth in the passport and has managed to ring out on an old age of years in a construction battalion though in due time it have not called up for military service on a state of health. Therefore, I repeat, on such background to be allocated was rather and rather easy. Not all from us formed, certainly, it was possible to name intellectuals (even in that vulgar understanding what has extended recently), but some person were considerably allocated with intelligence. And so, to their two the given allocation from crowd has not facilitated them, and, on the contrary, has aggravated the first steps in strojbatovskoj lives. Besides at wall-paper voleju a case to weak characters were added also purely external circumstances burdening destiny. One, on a surname Axelrod, has managed straight off to get in gansy, that is in garrison patrol-guard rotu. And another, Yermilov, has got into a situation and that hleshche: having seduced, probably, its higher education and an impressive tall kind, to it in a month-one and a half of service have thrown to begin with pair lychek on epaulets and have put the foreman of 3rd roty. But very soon fathers-commanders have understood, that neither Axelrod, nor Yermilov carts to which them have put, do not pull and have degraded them in military builders with transfer in ours rotu. And here our company blatata, at once having checked up them on durability, has guessed easy extraction and has begun to learn «telligentov vuchenyh» to a life and freedom., easily, I think, to present, as it is possible to mock over degraded gansom and the foreman which formally had time to have the power over sappers of all appeals. Especially exercised the wit Derzin and the Gut. Derzin has chosen Axelrod's victim. The torturer, apparently, at all also did not pay attention on zatjukannogo already, the filthy, worn-out Jew as if would not notice it, but it was necessary to that to hide in pass between cots with the book or to open in the Lenin room the fresh newspaper as nearby it appeared Derzin. — That-and-ak, competent, means? Letters, means, you know? Vuchenyj, means, very much?. And at the grandfather an undercollar dirty!. (It, the impudent fellow, almost since first days began to call itself the grandfather.) Axelrod, time having given in, in any way did not find forces and determination to rebel. He silently looked at the tyrant from below upwards maslinichnymi, like a dog melancholy eyes, postponed reading and trudged for Derzinym. When Derzin has disappeared absolutely from roty, it was necessary to see, how it was straightened, as even slightly priborzel Axelrod — absolutely the person became. The right, I sometimes think, that Derzin had over it any magnetic power, is somehow total suppressed its mentality. On an extreme measure I never saw, that this criminal somehow physically influenced a victim, has struck the poor Jew, no, simply ordered, and that executed its will and, possibly, itself could not explain, why... Gut pursued Yermilov easier, more primitively and ozloblennee. For example, having returned from the second change, hours per twelve nights, it is frequent in podpitii, Zybkin before to lay down to sleep, by all means went to 3rd platoon where Yermilov already snuffled, lifted it, big, full, shivering, with bed and began study. — Why has laid down without my permission? — Blow under dyhalo. — to Rise! Why you shiver? — New blow in navel area, not strong, not deadly, but pejorative, insulting. — to rise! To stand at attention! Now not the foreman, has understood?. And Yermilov only kanjuchil: — It is not necessary, and!. Oh, it is not necessary, and!. And so until somebody from old men will not roar — noise to sleep stirs. Yermilov it was a pity to anybody not. Wants — let suffers. Was disgusted to look, how this healthy a body, the fairly clever formed guy licks a hand dirty shaky to the Gut. Anomaly any! In general it seems to me, that not clearest and terrible on light is a human character. Here to take me. After all a brain I perfectly understand all weaknesses, all imperfection of the character but why whereas I overturn myself as I force the nature as I try to change: to become more resolute, more rigid, nezavisimee, more strong-willed, proud and cold — anything and nichegoshenki at me it is impossible? So cht ό this such, defining my life, my destiny, "I" being in mine, but from me not depending completely not? From whom character — by nature is given me? From parents? From the god? And as it is terrible, that only two circumstances in a condition to turn, turn out, modify character of the person — intoxication and sincere illness. Only the drunk or mad is capable of revolt against own "I", against the nature of the character, against predefiniteness of destiny... However, away, away philosophy and abstract reasonings! The reader let philosophises, I has put — the facts, food for reflexions. All the same at all imperfection of my essence, I under no circumstances could not be humiliated to Axelrod or Yermilov's degree. Better death or prison. Probably, feeling it or, more correctly, knowing, the destiny, fate, fate or that there still, too strongly did not test me. Besides, I said already, that in advance was adjusted to starting army tests. And when I am ready, adjusted and napruzhinen then I at all affected intelligence even can quite stand for myself or at least not obey. So, first, I strongly knew, that criminal, as well as any animal, attacks ohotnee the one who shows the shyness, therefore tried, especially first, to keep directly, to look in the face to potential offenders easy, independently and even is as though proud. It in any measure was possible also because by remixing time in rote all appeals, we, sappers educational roty, malenko poobtesalis, have got gradually used, adapted. If whom from us also pressed, off and on, on the party, out of barracks. And here time when two platoons of the learnt young have translated in others roty has come, and in ours have thrown as much scoops, old men and grandfathers. The cheerful life has begun. I waited in secret vague melancholy of the first test for durability. Also has waited. There was a night. I slept in 2nd platoon on the cot in the bottom circle. Has suddenly woken up, and, probably, not I one, from footfall of boots and drunk bedlam. The second change, a brigade of old men, and many, if not all from them, tipsy was declared. They have rumbled what for in a washstand, continuing there whether to quarrel, whether to have fun and baldet. Sickening sounds were suddenly distributed — someone from them has started to turn out, rinse... And here — hasty, any predatory stolen steps on pass, someone's hand clings to rods of my bed, and in an instant I feel a dreadful musty smell peregara. My heart fades and then at once is crashed-fights, asks outside. Push in a shoulder. — E-e, young, rise ise... E-e-e, hear, there to clean it is necessary... My God, what to do? I pretend, that I sleep, I do not hear. I try to breathe with prisvistom. — E! E! CHyo — has become deaf? Well, lifting!. The main thing now — not to run into catalepsy, to reject pressure... I rise on an elbow, I look directly in muddy gljadelki the guy and I rap out firm, outwardly quiet voice: — I cannot. At me tomorrow it is a lot of important issues. I should sleep. — also I repeat with authority: — At me tomorrow it is a lot of important issues. The old man in perplexity, in dullness, it frappirovan. — That-o-o?! To steam of long seconds I, having writhed under a blanket and having concealed breath, wait. Now will strike! Now will kick!. That then will occur, I do not know, but from bed I now will not rise it is exact. The messenger, having rocked over me and so anything and not having comprehended, stupidly hems, is straightened and starts tychkami to lift top — Zybkina. — E! E! Well, has jumped! E, young!. The gut bystrenko jumps off downwards and is bright trips in a washstand. I represent, as he is angry during this moment with me, that I have not gone to wipe up another's blevotinu and instead of me it was necessary to be engaged in it chuhnarskim business to it. To everyone, I will tell, — the! Then I had to maintain few times still similar examinations, but quickly enough my position it was strengthened, the status has affirmed — not chuhnar. It was promoted also by that I as it is accepted to speak, started to be in the public eye, aktivnichat. I therefore so am immodest and detailed to give representation about this category untouchable young — similar career in the first months I have made, certainly, not one. About someone from such children, I would tell — casual in a construction battalion, I will tell and mention still, also on a course of records it is necessary to speak about myself time and again. Now I will finish this theme of worthy service a reminder on the hero of my unlucky story Alyoshe Akulov. Though I have written off its image and not from the concrete person, but I wish to underline, that to soldiers similar to it to serve too in general it was simple. Such hardworking fellow with quiet, kind and modest character ordinary even with pleasure transferred army burdens — all these infinite a floor, parade-ground cleaning, dnevalstva, drills, watches on kitchen, I do not speak while about mountains dug over and peredolblennoj the earth on the building, all this physical penal servitude distracted «the son of the earth» like Aleshi from melancholy on the house, from melancholy of idleness. Such trustful children's character, as a rule — and in it I, composing "Newcomer", has not told lies, — did not take out the open, rough, impudent humiliation from criminal starosluzhashchih and at once rejected pressure, but old men are more artful and not the impudent were able to be driven to such fellows and used their responsiveness to itself on advantage. If the same Gandobin has approached humanly, the voice has put, as it is necessary, naplyol something plausible and diplomatic. For example: — Hear, you Alexey to call? Fine at you it turns out! And I, as fight, all crookedly I file — hands clumsy. Be the friend, and, privargan to me an undercollar — on svidanku to the little girl I hurry up, want beautiful to be, itself you understand... I more than am assured, that Akulov would undertake to "help" the person. After all in the given situation the ingenuous fellow even also has not felt any humiliation. And for the person respecting, is the main thing. |
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© Rosedkin Sergey Nikolaevich, 2001 |
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E-mail: emp-reports@fustercluck.com |
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