- Sergey Rosedkin -

 

p r about z and

 

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BUZZING BAJ, MAY …

 

 

Part

The first

 

4. Galja

 

 

 

P. 5

 

 

4. Galja

About, Galja!!!

If Natasha and "novel" with it subsequently were not reflected in any way in my creativity Galja became the heroine not one my product. Besides, when through a great lot of years I have started to build-mould the personal site on the Internet on one of the first pages has placed photo Gali, declaring on all Web-light: here this beauty — my first love!

And that!

Galja really was not only my first PRESENT love, but also the first unconditional beauty in my destiny. It, as it also happens more often, in due course has quite understood-has realised force of the appearance, and it at all did not do its character better. But me has had the luck to find it during that remarkable period when the bud of its beauty only was still dismissed, and age complexes of the girl-teenager still wandered in it. It has done all magic way of transformation of the angular girl to the dazzling girl on my eyes, together with me and even in something thanks to me …

However, we will not run forward.

So, to it — 14, the eight-grader; to me — 16, I study in the tenth, final. Autumn. I have seen-has noticed it at once …

Though, that I will repeat. In the plug-in story from the story "Barracks" the abstract of our friendship-love is stated full enough. There, in the story, on a plot three tell-tales-sappers lay in an infirmary and tell each other history of the first love. I only have changed names. But now I will return to heroes (that is — to us with Galej) our names:

… Thus, my turn to play role SHeherezady has come after a breakfast. I have begun unexpectedly for myself in playful tone:

Yes-a-a... And I, citizens ill if to admit, married was.

And Boris, and Red it is mistrustful on me have looked.

What, I am youngly looked? Well, then can present, as I looked three years ago. More shortly, listen.

I will begin, perhaps, with the middle. As has met with Galej, the first sighs, kisses, recognitions all it is uninteresting...

Well is not present, has interrupted Pashka, so business not buhtit! Kudy to hurry to us? Give poison from the very beginning, as we. All is interesting to me.

Certainly, its Boris has supported.

— Well, good... I studied in the tenth, it – in the eighth. I do not know, whether I judge impartially, but it to me seemed, and now it seems, as Pashka is expressed — klyovoj on appearance. By the way, the photo at me is.

I have got a small photo from a pyjamas pocket and have stretched its Red. It is a photo I very much liked, therefore has saved only it from those two tens that has presented to me Galja. She has acted in film in a school uniform. The lacy collar fits the maiden neck (which I so liked to kiss!), magnificent chestnut hair two tails lay on a coat hanger, the big light eyes is mild-with astonishment look by an objective somewhere in an unknown distance, and pripuhlye, indistinctly outlined lips is hardly appreciable, "on-dzhokondovski", smile.

Here such I also remembered it!

Ogo, and it is exact klyovaja! has expressed Pashka.

And Boris, having read an inscription on the back «Kohl, the darling, do not forget!» has smiled: It is good!

However, it not always such mild was,I what for have dropped in forward. Also has begun again at first.

— So, to be on friendly terms, as it at us was called, we have begun in the autumn. As it always also happens, before I Galju did not notice. Yes it and no wonder: school at us though also rural, but populous — pupils in it more than the soldier in a shelf. And at that time, probably, also the old fairy tale has proved to be true once again — the disgusting duckling has turned in a swan. In a word, I have seen it in the first September denyochki — I remember, on change, in buffet, — and at once have resolved: zakadrju!

(You excuse, Pash, that I again have used your word, but is sick they at you are figurative!)

However, to decide — not to make yet. I was turned for about a month around, but all did not dare to approach and start talking. Friends-friends even to urge on already steels: give supposedly and that...

The case has helped. The first school vecherishko has taken place. Dullishly they at us passed: under an accordion polechki and letki-enki danced yes in the chimney sweep played. She on this evening in pair the chimney sweep has chosen me, but I and have missed silently until us "have not broken".

As always, in twenty one thirty ours derik has told: baju-baj, boys and girls! — and we, at all pourosiv (have already got used), have trudged to a locker room. I go and think: «It is necessary to approach today, it is necessary!. And can, tomorrow it is better? After lessons?.» Is shorter, as a pendulum I shake.

The coat plot, was put in pockets, and gloves are not present. For the inquiry I explain: before at me leather gloves never was, and these, chromic, Czech, djadkin a gift from Moscow, I carried all the third day. Already to squeal it wanted for insult and a rage! And when I am angry, resoluteness in me though take away. In general to squeal and cry I did not become, and have caught up Galju this evening and, as they say, was explained. It — it was then found out — for a long time already for it waited.

Well, we were on friendly terms, were on friendly terms (a ridiculous word!), and I have kissed her for the first time only on ninth of December. It was remembered here. It in general the joke was. Morozets — degrees under thirty, it is audible, as on Yenisei ice bursts, and we stand, we shift from one foot to the other. It has jumped out only for a minute, to tell, that mother target and does not release it today to walk, — and was late. (And mummy at it in the culture House worked as the ticket collector, but about it later.) Paltishko on Gale vnakidku, a cap with ear-flaps bratova on a head. It to a front garden has deviated, eyes has closed and to play the fool the beginnings.

— I for-sy-pas-ju-ju-ju... I for-measures-for-ju-ju-ju... To the Zasy-share-ju-ju...

Also has calmed down. And lips to me has substituted. Well, I was trampled, posopel and at last have dared — it is necessary to kiss! Took it for shoulders — is silent and waits! — also has started the person to drive. Only remains: just about and to a kiss as, present only, — a cold!

I was removed, have sniffed few times and — again to it. Only I will bend, again "failure", again shmygat it is necessary. All has sweated from a shame, steam from me brings down, and it, the main thing, does not open eyes, as if also the truth it here is not present. Well, I think, now or vysmorkatsja it is necessary vnagluju and all into an oak joke to turn, or to kiss, as I will manage. Otherwise — stydobushka!

Was prepared, has bent and has pressed the lips to it...

And everything, guys, further that was – I do not remember. Galja then told, that, say, has pushed away me, into reprimand has gone and has escaped. I already midway to the house have found out myself. Neither to, nor after I similar any more did not test — as drunk was: paltetso wide open, a cap in a hand, feet slide on an ice crust, inside such sensation, as if on a swing yes all time downwards and downwards... The Doggie pribludnaja, I remember, there and then hobbles near to me, prodrogshaja, poskulivaet — has dragged it home and has fed with the supper...

I then all thought, why so have become stupid from simple touch Galinyh of lips? After all kissed already little girls before, a bottle on a sit-round gathering in a circle twisted...

— Well, and how, how at you «this most» was? When happens? kvaknul suddenly Red.

The toggle-switch has clicked, the blue screen in a shower has died away. I have started to consider about myself to ten. Boris has reproachfully told Pashke:

You asked more in detail and from apart, be consecutive wait.

Yes I chyo? I nichyo?. If vzasos still tudy-sjudy, and that who so... Moreover on a frost... Yes that zabaldet... Ha, from a kiss! Yes I though tyshchu time will drain in, and though those of henna...

The red muttered all neuverennee, starting to understand, that goes not to that steppe. I silently have turned away to a wall and was covered with a blanket with a head. Also did not react already on what to the failure in a dream.

Our village buried during snow which all falls dreamt me, falls, falls... We stand with Galej, having joined hands, dressed for some reason as in summer it in a sundress, I in a shirt and to us am not cold, but we shmygaem noses and smeyosja. I am gone, and itself I think: «What we still children! To us and to kiss still early!» …

After a dinner I put on a brave face the whole hour and did not answer even to Boris. However, it too has appeared with character and at once has lagged behind me. We laid with it on the corners and read …

Pashka izvertelsja from melancholy. At last, predictably, it has not restrained and has begun to whimper: say, so dishonestly, all told, and you, Koljan... And so forth I, of course, having broken, have surrendered.

Good, I have told, addressing is underlined to Boris, I will continue, but for seigneur Paolo I will jump at once in two years, that faster.

Pashka has moved, but I continued.

— Well here, to arrive after school at once I did not become, has gone on building — concrete to knead, the earth to dig. And the next year in Irkutsk university has failed under fanfares and again home prikatil. And I arrived on durika, without preparation. Then has understood, that, later, probably, because of Gali did not dare to leave anywhere. For it waited. And then about what serious in ours from it relations like also did not think. Met almost every evening and day — it from lessons for me has run. Happened, quarrelled, even for a week, on two...

And it is necessary to tell, that its mummy has literally got irritated against me since first days. What it was not pleasant to it? Till now I precisely know, but, most likely, it is not less, than the son of the secretary obkoma for a daughter designated. And here — the son uchitelki, bezottsovshchina, moreover and simple the hard worker has gone to stick.

In a word, it drove me ugly. I, however, did not decline a proud head and loved it. Time even on it in ours "rajonku" has composed the feuilleton — as it at kiddies turned out pockets, that those sunflowers in auditorium did not drag. And, the stinker, at me times prinarodno under this pretext has made a uniform search on pockets. I that insult to splash out wrote, thought will not print, and this feuilleton — time! — and babahnuli. That was! Galja to me has quite seriously told in the evening:

— You weeks two at cinema do not go and in general to it do not come across — will kill!

I believed — aunt Frosja could kill. Father Gali, uncle Feodor, worked as the driver and there was a muzhik of anything, even joked at meetings: greetings supposedly zjatyok!

Well here, we were on friendly terms such makarom — secretly yes stealthily. Only I see, Galechka mine vytykivatsja the beginnings. To it already seventeen it was almost made even — has blossomed, blood in it, probably has matured, and, has played. Occasions to my jealousy have appeared: she that will smile to one, with another to dance on a party will go, on me unexpectedly will become angry and will start to compare to others...

By the way — for Paul Ferapontovicha, — we from it further kisses and prizhimany have not moved yet. However, time, in the summer when I from Irkutsk on a board have come back, we in the first evening as have become crazy. She at the grandma with the grandfather spent the night, and we almost all night long in a garden on a shop under a bird cherry promilovalis. From kisses were drunk. I Galju first time such saw: she kissed, bit my lips, nestled on me and all shuddered. Has then put to me a head on knees, and we again kissed. I have not noticed, how the hand washing has slipped on its neck, and then downwards, in polukruzhe cut. And suddenly I have heard a palm as its heart fights...

Galja has stood, but an instant later has put a palm on my hand and has pressed it more strongly to the body. I have bent and have whispered:

Gal, I wish to kiss...

— But you kiss? — She has not understood. Also has thought suddenly: — A-a-a... But — a dress? How?

— I will break off it!

Galja has become silent, like agreeing. I have already seized both hands for a thin cloth, even the crash was heard... And here: «Hectares-and-and-alja-a-a!» — its granny from a porch klichet. It has nestled on me, has kissed some times hastily and, having whispered: «Tomorrow in a dressing gown I will be!», – has disappeared...

I have suddenly faltered and have become silent. That I so paint it? I was unpleasantly amazed with contrast in expressions of persons at my listeners. Boris polulezhal on a pillow, looked somewhere by me, on morozovye window patterns, and in its sight as it seemed to me, expression of indulgent boredom has fallen asleep. But Pashka, all izvertevshijsja, sat now again in Turkish and as if sglatyval each my word the slightly opened mouth. In a corner of its lips the saliva droplet, on the left side, gleamed.

Here so, in general, I have dimly said and have crookedly smiled, nurseries figli-migli...

Well! has screamed Red. in a dressing gown it was secured? CHyo was?

Do not fuss, anything especial, I have sharply thrown and have solved to spite of all and all to continue, but already without pictures.

For the sake of Pashki to be turned out, whether that?

— In general, I finish. The summons has come to army to me, and Galja has absolutely rebelled: quarrels — nearly every day. Whether was angry with my indecision, whether in advance was ashamed, that will not wait me...

Before a holiday, on 6th of November, in club there were dances. I, as usually, hours per seven, already on darkness, have approached to its house and have thrown a stone in our window. Silence. I — one more. The gate has begun to creak, I look, instead of it the brother younger leaves, Vit'ka.

— And the Pebble both has left after a dinner, and is not present.

Serdchishko has pricked, but I still have thought nothing, can — at the girl-friend? Well it is fine, I go back to the culture House. I pass by school, towards – a couple. Have already missed each other, as suddenly serdchishko again — tuk! Sight at me non-standard, I can not precisely make out, and has as though felt — it!

Galja?

Attention zero.

-Galja!!!

Stop. I edak stealthily approach, and itself I ask the God: though not it! Is not present — it.

— We will go.

She poluogljanulas on the guy — healthy, above me on a head — and carelessly speaks to it:

— You, Vladik, go, I now will catch up.

«Anything to itself!» — I think. That has departed steps on twenty. I have squeezed a teeth and silently enough I ask:

— What does it mean, Galja?

— Means nothing, — she easy answers. Is – my brother cousin, from Achinsk. For a week has arrived. Me aunt Katya has asked porazvlekat it, and he knows nobody that. That's all.

— All?! And aunt Katya has not prompted concrete ways of entertainments to you? — I have broken. — Perhaps it not to walk under lanterns wants, and still that?

It it is insulting has looked at me up and down.

— And we with Vladik will solve it, that we would like...

I wished to think, that now it I will strike, but was not in time – it has already started back from a tasty slap in the face and has shut the face with the hands. Has then turned and so, with the closed person, has run. The guy has rushed to it towards, has stopped and has creaked:

— Now, Gal, now I it urabotaju, a reptile!

I have stepped to zaborchiku square and with a gnash have pulled out shtaketinu. That was restive and, absolutely foolishly having shouted: «You wait, wait, I now will return!», — has led Galju, holding it thriftily for shoulders. I waited for it almost hour. Naturally, uselessly.

Next day, after celebratory demonstration I did not become, as usually, to be thrown off, have told to friends that was ill and have started wandering home. Has gone for some reason not the shortest road, through a lane, and has curtailed on street Garden. By itself, all time of the yesterday's I think, already I execute myself...

Also it is necessary such to happen: has managed me to pass by the house where 10 "And", Galinas the class, was going to a holiday to celebrate. Already hatyonka this behind remained, I hear, to me call. I turn around — Bucha from a gate to me a hand waves. Bucha this, Keshka Buchnev, was schoolmate Gali, – the guy stupid and priblatnyonnyj. I with it at level "greetings-greetings" was known. And for Buchej that, Vladik, looms.

Bucha though was healthy, but trusovat, I precisely knew it, and that tipchik on the eve of itself(himself) has shown, and consequently I easy stand and I wait. But has not considered, that the holiday was, and that they already poddatye fairly. Bucha, the dog, trips to me, a glove on the right hand pulls and for bravery screams:

What for Galju yesterday has struck? Galju what for yesterday has struck?.

I only have thought: «Really salaga will dare?» — as has there and then flied up, has crashed down a back about the earth and has seen the feet in clouds. It became bad.

Bucha, — I have told silently, looking on it from the earth. — Bucha, this second you will recollect for the rest of the life...

Bucha and has already come round (it knew, what is it not empty threats), has turned and has begun to mince back. That type, to my surprise, behind it.

— Hey! — with malicious cheerfulness I have shouted, starting to rise. — hey, Vladik, and you where? Zamand-razhi-and-and-iroval!.

To rise I was not in time. Kicked with all the heart. Bucha for fear absolutely oshakalel and fussy kicked, trying to get to a stomach. The same all tried to interrupt to me a nose or vypnut eyes. I felt a pain not as a body, and a brain: say, me beat also to me painfully. Also it was still terribly a shame before people who, having opened wide mouths, loomed not far.

Then Bucha somehow it was especially dexterously put directly under a sigh, I have choked and has failed in hot darkness. The last, that has heard — shout Gali...

Has regained consciousness from its kisses and tears. It was kneeling, supported my head palms and groaned:

— Oh, well this such?! That they with you have made!.

And here during this instant I also have understood, that simply I can not live without it. I like it! Wished to tell: «the Kiss me!», — but lips as if would not be, and language has swelled so, that pressed on the sky. Then I have approached it to myself and have nestled the broken mouth on its crying person. And in the distance already zanyla a siren "fast", I still, remember, was surprised – for me, whether that?

Here so... They to me Have broken two edges and the left clavicle, bruises I did not consider. provaljalsja in hospital there is more than month. The military registration and enlistment office a delay, by itself, has given on half a year. Galju as have changed: in hospital every day secretly from mother ran, and when has left — both minutes considered see you in the evening and then till the half-night could not leave...

buche vozvernul dolzhok? Has interrupted Pashka.

Yes is not present... Galja like the ultimatum has put: I, say, one in all am guilty, wished to test you and if you want on me insult vent though beat! He, the truth, and itself in hospital resorted, pardon asked, and then an entertainment has exposed. But my friends sent on errands it that evening only feet and have rescued. Then to me it to protect from them it was necessary... However, lines with it! Here there was for what Pashka with such impatience waits.

Its parents have left for New year to relatives in the next city. It was huge miss from aunt Frosi. Though they and Vit'ka have left, but that twelve years Vit'ka if it already became inevitable if we already have so become crazy could make, that in the middle of street started to kiss, having forgotten about all and all.

In a word, we met New year in its house. Three together. Vit'ka honesty sat till two nights, but from a champagne glass has flaked out and eventually has crept away in the room. Well and — happens...

Have then got a fright terribly. Galja sobbed violently, risking to wake Vit'ka, and all lamented: «That now will be?!» I calmed her, and at most already spoilt ryobryshki ached, as soon as aunt Frose recollected.

More shortly, we were tormented, tormented each other fear, and then nevertheless have realised, that a sin, as they say, is already made and дéла will not correct. natselovalis also have fallen asleep. I it and see more often, recollecting, — in the embraces, fallen asleep, tear-stained and with a smile on the swelled lips...

I have felt shchekotanie in a nose and have hastened to have a fit of coughing. Boris as I have noticed, already attentively listened and now has delicately looked away. Pashka impatiently waited the pause end.

— Here... And next morning after the first marriage night — a mute scene: we open eyes and only, still sleepy, by lips were to each other pulled, we hear — champing and gurgle. We are thrown up — Vit'ka sits at a table, guzzles a pie, with lemonade washes down and on us like an attention zero. Galja a blanket has jerked on itself and has already screamed: «who has allowed You?!»

And the brother-akselerat edak spokojnenko: «to You that, a pie is a pity? Do not weigh I will devour...»

I have understood at once, that we have fallen into web strong networks and has asked: «it is concrete, what it is necessary to you?»

«It is a little, — the brother-villain, — your pistol-lighter, and from it — its coin box with all interiors …» answers

In general, he thoroughly then blackmailed us: at me a half-pay on it left, and I on building decently earned. But, the truth, did not give out, though Galju, the young reptile, in every possible way offended and exhausted.

We while suffered and in general somehow did not discuss seriously, that to us to do further. And it was necessary, it is necessary to begin this conversation and me — I it then when all has already occurred, has understood, yes late already was...

It is necessary to tell, that we already really to live have begun. Galja has grown bolder, and I have started pomalenku to become impudent and about aunt Frose to forget. That in our house a shelter found, when at my mother at evening school of employment dropped out, Galja to old men to spend the night asked for leave, and I made the way at night in its room — the grandma with the grandfather were hard of hearing. More shortly, lived did not grieve.

And at Gali the hyphen in character was, which to furiousness did not like me: rolled on it sometimes cynicism any, and it such minutes before disgust impudent and vulgar became. As in that case — with Vladik. Transitive, whether that? Well here, once we meet in the evening, already towards the end of winter and — to me. I on road have noticed, that it all is excited also itself not the. But explains nothing and into quarrel runs. Well, I think, has again rolled, very long ago did not happen. We come, we undress, in sense — a coat we remove, and it at once: «Well, what, in love, so to say, we will be engaged? We will enjoy?.»

I am mild I answer: «Well you, Galjush, are angry? What's happened?»

«Yes anything especial, the mister the lover, — shouts, — stishata here fresh has learnt. Wish?»

I silently have shrugged shoulders and in general have solved will keep silent – let perebesitsja. And it an intense voice and ridiculously gesticulating, the beginnings:

 

«The sun shines, and the acacia blossoms.

I go, smiles not concealing:

At me today — menstruatsija...

Means, not the pregnant woman I!. »

 

Also asks with a call: «Well as?»

I still have understood nothing and not in mood — absolutely, as now Pashka — involuntarily hohotnul: «it is witty, only poshlovato it is sensitive...»

«poshlovato? — Has suddenly cracked Galja, has wearily fallen on a bed and has looked from below upwards at me plaintively and with hope. — most poshlovatoe that now these rhymes not about me...»

Represent, how I was dumbfounded? At once in a head has jumped, that in similar cases it is accepted to do the offer, so to say. I about something such also have started talking, at first uncertainly, then with great feeling, a heat, saliva splashes. Galja, having hung a head in a palm, was silent. Then has sharply thrown up a tear-stained face (I and have not understood, that she cried!) and almost in a full voice has shouted:

«Yes you the idiot, whether that? I that, for pregnant women should sew a special school uniform, yes? Or mum to ask? Perhaps she will sew, if does not kill before the daughter!.»

— Well? vjaknul Pashka.

I, appear, have again become silent, having carried away in memory for hundreds kilometres, in small our house, that February late evening.

Well, well!. Not nukaj! Its words have come true...

What, has killed? Boris has not believed.

– Yes, it is possible to tell so... Here I, it... More shortly, Galja has made the decision and searched for any grandma. And me the ultimatum: if I will not help to find — the nobility does not know me. Terms soon came to an end. Well I also have dared at an extreme measure — as wanted is better! — has chosen the moment when Galja at school was, and its father at job, and has become hollow to aunt Frose. Has become hollow and brjaknul: so supposedly and so, at us with Galej the child will be, I wish to marry supposedly, and she searches for the grandma and it is necessary to rescue...

As it has not killed me, till now I do not understand, but was terrible during that instant! I, when was already pulled out, for Galju seriously was frightened: has understood, that from aunt Frosi it is necessary to expect all really. Also is not present that at once Galju to warn, I at first — home. However, and the kind at me torn to pieces was, it was necessary though to wash and change clothes...

Here, while ran, all and happens. Its aunt Frosja from school has pulled out at once and home has dragged...

When I have come tearing along, Galju already "fast" have taken away. This nit so over it has worked, that at Gali not only the abortion has happened, it in general, probably, mother cannot become now...

That's all. I after that its all time saw, already after hospital. Has changed terribly. Wished to start talking, and she so has looked at me: «Disappear. See you I can not».

And itself as in water has sunk — has left, it is not known where. And me in the spring here zabrili...

Here so I was married, as they say, a civil marriage, happily, but is short...

— Yes-a-a... — Boris has stretched thoughtfully. — at you somehow all on the contrary and strange. Usually the guy of the child does not want. And what for you should stand on the? Really, then, after school, after wedding and — the child...

I have only grinned what now to advise, say.

Well as though I have explained, that the thread connecting us with Galej, has stretched by then already to a ring... Would appear certain JUra from parallel 10. I had almost absolute confidence, that at them business has come much more further kisses. Perhaps it was a fruit of jealous imagination how tried to assure me Galja? So is not present, I something saw and noticed, and at most Gali burning transparent hints broke minutes of quarrels. And even has screamed time that hates me and my child.

In a word, I felt approach of accident and clung to this child, as for last straw. Thought, it will connect us with Galej very firmly in knot for all life...

Unless I could tell all it even in such conditions? And what I understand? Why Galja suddenly so has sharply stopped loving me? Whether liked in general? Why I, so passionately hating it even for prospective change, nevertheless could not come unstuck in any way? Why I cannot forget it till now? Though it is humiliating, humiliating, humiliating, oh, damn, when you will stop loving!.

("Barracks")

All here, except for trifles, — the truth, one only the truth and anything, except the truth. To a phrase «Well and — happens...» And here further, fortunately or to a regret, — a conjecture and fiction.

Yes, that New Year's eve really was more than rough and passionate. We steadily came nearer to it, raising degree of mutual caresses from a meeting to a meeting. First, while also I still studied, we only pined for kisses, yes Galja all ohotnee and more trustfully allowed me to iron-caress it over clothes. Both I, and it were pure and devstvenny. Hardly later I have tested a sweet intoxicated shock when we were was on friendly terms-communicated once with it through a window in the late evening (and it happened because parents strongly objected it against our friendship and exhausted early home), and it has shown me a striptease. They lived in the two-storeyed house then on the ground floor, to a window the approach was free. I, pripljushchiv a nose to glass, talked, imitating deaf-mutes, Galja wrote to me large handwriting of a note. And here she has written: «I should change clothes», — and has shown gesture that will close for a minute of a curtain. «It is not necessary!», — I have begged gluhonemno. «To change clothes?», — she has crafty smiled. « Curtains to close! I wish you to SEE!. »

Galja has thought seconds ten (still!), cheeks zaaleli, has hasty written: «Suffer minute!» And curtains has drawn. But hurriedly (and can, and intentionally — in it I never understood women) have not noticed turned ugolochek so I, having concealed breath, have seen, how it, nevertheless having turned to a window a back, have pulled together a dress, have unbuttoned and have thrown off a brassiere, have chilly distorted shoulders, bystrenko have dressed a dressing gown. Has then come nearer, has opened the curtains, improbably shining eyes has looked at me, has even more strongly flashed and has slowly dissolved dressing gown shutters …

(Here this deafening impression about «two is gentle-pink circles glowing on is shrill white defenceless hillocks» I then and has inserted into the story «Meetings with this person». After all as a matter of fact as if the scene with Ljudoj, so suddenly interrupted for two years before …) would proceed

Meanwhile, Galja it zakrylas-was wrapped up, and I have not had time to be afflicted and all to spoil entreaties about «session continuation» (ah, still and shorts!.) as it has bent over a table, something has resolutely written on a sheet of paper and has approached a note to glass: «I like you!»

And to me became absolutely unbearable as hot. And I have understood, that is not necessary this evening more than anything.-Che-go-shen! It was first recognition Gali in love. And in general about love we from it till this evening словá did not say. Fairly I speak: I do not remember, whether I was explained there and then in answer Gale in love and whether recollected those minutes Iru with its unsuccessful recognition, but here sensation burning, we will tell so, man's happiness of that the girl of the first admitted to you love — has for ever entered into heart and a brain.

Perhaps, and in vain …

We slowly, but correctly went with Galej on a stunning, delightful and disturbing track-transition from children's friendship to sensual love. We searched for a solitude. At first one of rooms in the next under construction house became a shelter to us, where we have built from sexual (as immodestly sounds!) boards a wide bench and hours, mixing breath, kissed on it to exhaustion. Then have rendered habitable an attic two-storeyed Galinogo houses. On it the ladder-gangway conducted, and when I climbed up after Galej on steps, in twilight distinctly saw-distinguished what to see in the ordinary it was not necessary … Me, naive, even slightly confused it and only I much later have guessed, that my Tick perfectly knew-understood a situation and specially, I think, put on in such evenings shorts "pokrasivshe"

I got on an attic already, naturally, over a measure steamed out and spiritualised, well and here, in a slate wigwam, reached already and at all almost a full undressing, to rough caresses and violent embraces our young half naked bodies. Only subsequently, having learnt other women, I have besides understood-has realised quite, how much the passion and rare sensuality has been presented Gale by the nature. The little girl, apparently, has learnt to take for a long time already pleasure from the body independently, and with my help, under mine for the present not so skilful, but hot kisses and caresses and at all almost lost consciousness and was shuddered-was bent, risking delightful groans to disturb all neighbours-inhabitants of the house and the irascible parents. But as soon as business reached business when I tried to finish all and to help at last Gale to become the woman, and itself to transform into the man (however, soon I have already tried "it" on the party, but about it is further), Galju mine as if got jammed: No! I am afraid! It is not necessary! Not now! Then!.

It is possible to present, on what unrestrained fire I burnt, what moral torments tested. Not speaking about the physical.

That New Year's eve described in "Barracks", — my pain and a flour.

We really met him three together at Gali houses. Its brother (actually him called the Ear ring, and we quite were on friendly terms with it, so in the story I, alas, has blackened it owing to art necessity — excuse, the friend!), its brother has left to sleep, and at us improbable, painful night has begun. We have spread bed. For the first time I have undressed Galju completely and at bright light. I istseloval all its body to last section, it was so is strained, what even from an easy touch of my lips to vstoporshchennym to reddening dummies screamed nearly in a full voice, groaned and then, having tested pleasure explosion, calmed down for a minute, ran into a semiunconscious condition …

Has reached at us already before, that we have spread on white catch a cold any red rag to hide crime traces, already remains to me only and to make one latest movement-pressing, to enter into it, to connect our bodies in a uniform flesh, the uniform world, I have already felt-has felt the thin side, ready poddatsja-be conceded to my violent impact as suddenly in most naiposlednejshy moment Galja under me has dodged, have escaped, have covered a bosom ladoshkoj:

— It is not necessary, Kolenka! I beg! Not today! Then!.

Till now I reproach myself: has conceded, has taken offence, has calmed down. Has then put on and has left. Very much I, the fool, sensitive! And the most ridiculous: minutes through twenty has thought suddenly, from half-road has headlong rushed back — called, knocked, broke Galina a door … has not opened. As then assured: has fallen asleep tightly and heard nothing …

Not destiny!

We still liked-tormented any time each other, but subsequently, and the truth, there was in her life a boy from a parallel class (she already left school), Galja otkachnulas-was stuck to it, and, it is necessary to guess, all way from the first kiss and to full-naipolnejshej affinity at them has turned out, naturally, much more shortly. And here it especially sharpened (and sharpens!) me heart: I have prepared the liked Tick, have brought up-has cherished sensually for any ohlamona — have come, the reptile, on gotovenkoe and has snipped off a prize!

To admit, I long suffered, went under its windows, did nonsenses, osoblivo on excite. Once, for example, when she lived already on the second floor in the same house (have exchanged apartments with neighbours), I unsuccessfully tried to call it in the evening, throwing stones in a window, for the next dismantlings and ugovarivany, then have guessed in drunk recklessness to get on slate (ours vigvamnuju!) a roof, has slipped to edge and has lowered a head to glance in its window. And here, when the body centre of gravity has moved, and my own bum has started to run unrestrainedly into me, I have understood-has realised quite, that in a second I will be dethroned downwards — akkurat bad bashkoj in asphalt. I have instantly sobered up and, clinging skrjuchennymi by fingers for fragile edge of slate, the beginnings on millimetre to be crawled away-be removed upwards …

The god has rescued that time!

At me were saved all (still!) letters Gali. Them, the truth, not too is a lot of. Now I re-read: My God, what superfluous passions which have been got mixed up on thought up jealousy and inutile insults, boiled! And that it would be simple to us not to be on friendly terms and not to like the friend to the friend — it is silent, quiet, gentle, without foolish jealousy and silly quarrels?

Its first message (reciprocal on mine), is written in a class, at any lesson and, apparently, my Tick hardly has acquired a theme of that lesson:

«I write you too, apparently, last letter. I ASK you as former"friend": return my photos. I admit, I did not expect from you such meanness, so to say, underestimated your abilities! But I cannot understand till now, what for it was necessary for you, if I at all did not like you? And about tears — they at me were not natural, it I so trained for receipt in cinematography institute. And I never thought, that round me all Universe rotates. Without you I know what to eat much better me the girl. Sincerely I regret that little girl with whom you, possibly, will be on friendly terms. I was on friendly terms with you only with pity to you. Thanks, you have given me a good lesson. Henceforth I will be cleverer. Once again I ask: give photos or burn. And I on Sunday have learnt the truth: it you after all have written Paradise the letter? Do not open, leaves nothing! Eh you! And I believed you! Well it is fine, on errors study. Excuse, that so has untidily written and it is bad: That you will do — at me such bad handwriting … »

Here so. Neither references, nor signatures, paragraphs. Very much, it is visible, Galja rasserdilas-was upset on any mine vzdornost (that I there could and what for to its girl-friend Paradise write?!). And more, it seems to me, it was clear already from the first letter: rupture was programmed and inevitable sooner or later.

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© Rosedkin Sergey Nikolaevich, 2001

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