- Sergey Rosedkin -
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BUZZING BAJ, MAY … The justification mazohizma P. 1	To all girls, girls and women, Which I liked; but especially that, Which liked and like me — With grief, tenderness and gratitude. BUZZING BAJ, MAY … The novel-nostalzhi To like … but whom?. M.J.Lermontov The justification mazohizma «Pushkin's Donzhuansky list» it is, of course, ridiculous … But suddenly with the years and most has pulled to make, so to say, the register of love victories — proinspektirovat, prorevizirovat, to survey, in details to recollect and analyse all novels-hobbies, ponostalgirovat thoroughly, to bring original (I hope — just preliminary!) a result of the ljubovno-sexual life. And what, it is possible for Pushkin, and us, mere mortals, a bottom-z-zja?! And to make it has pulled not only with idle curiosity, vain make a fool or pathological bent for mazohizmu (sufferings — and serious — alas, sufficed!): no, it wanted also most to understand, and to Heavens, whether that, to try to explain — why each novel (or nearly so everyone) by all means came to an end, broke, died, leaving frequently hems on heart and a groaning pain not calming down in the course of time in a shower? However, about "hems" and "pain" is, maybe, all only romantic snivels and a literary coquetry: after all it is clear as the Divine day that do not break, let and painfully-catastrophically, the previous novel — has not begun, the new would not be fastened. Do not leave my life-destiny the next Natasha, the next Lena — even more beautiful, desired and unique … would not enter into it As original push to a plan of the given novel about novels the real case has served also. The matter is that I am a little unexpected even for myself tasted the prostitute. In the previous novel "Ljupof" I on behalf of the protagonist, my coeval, am rather boastful argued, that supposedly here already the sixth ten has exchanged, and «never in a life tried the prostitute, never paid money to the woman for trah-tibidoh». And here circumstances so slozhilis-have got round, and the thought reasonable nevertheless has visited a haughty head: than to be proud, "pysatel" horse-radishes? A life, my dear, it is necessary to learn in all its completeness. You consider yourself as the prose writer-realist, and about such extensive layer of a life-life as sphere of paid sex services, representation you have only under books yes kinoshkam. And here, I repeat, how specially, the life itself has pushed to debauchery (well and how still all it to name-designate?): one-odinyoshenek has gone to holiday to the sea, to Crimea, to Sevastopol — neither wives with itself(himself), nor mistresses (who to Tula with the samovar?!). It and is fine, in the south quite and the sun with the sea for entertainment suffice, but this year weather Crimean uchudila: day on three southern blue of heavens it was tightened by impenetrable asbestos of gloomy clouds. Here also have begun to miss smothering and a body, here and the seditious thought has come to mind at survey of a local advertising newspaper: whether instead of zakontachit to me with any hetera-nadomnitsej which announcements were densely moulded on a newspaper strip? These announcements-appeals by sight amazed with the laconicism and modesty of the maintenance: in the majority only a name (Katya, Olga, Lyudmila, Galja …) and number sotika (I represent as has facilitated and the mobile communication has simplified job of women of easy virtue!). But some objavy were allocated-involved with a rarity of names, probably, pseudonyms: Veronica, Alisa, Karina, Snezhana. Other seaside courtesans have skilfully admitted in texts slightly exotic, hinting or on colour of a skin, or on a youth and presence of brains, or on external data, or, at last, on feature of the approach to business and a body, notifying: "mulatto", "student", «nice and high», «gentle and unchained», «without complexes» … Well and absolutely touched advertising izyski-shifts of some announcements: they have been allocated by a fat font, and separate even are taken away for some reason in a mourning frame (can, with a hint, what there will rain kisses on you to death and you will die of pleasure?). I however on frames-fonts yes have not pecked exotic, have decided to ring round successively under the list, finding out at potential "beloved" only two parametres: the price-list of the prices and age (here not to gentlemanliness!). Well, in the first point of divergences was not, the rate at all firm and monotonous — 150 griven in an hour. In recalculation on dollars are 30; on roubles — 825. At once it became clear, that the Ukrainian antimonopoly committee obviously idles — after all it is available arrangement of businesswomen-monopolistok! That kasaemo age it was found out, that the youngest suit to other friends on sex business in the daughter — 22-44 years. Naturally, I, old kozlotur, have marked with ticks of two youngest — «nice and gentle» Lena (22 years) yes simply Katya (24). But here on eyes the group of announcements anticipating zazyvy loose women-nadomnits has got to me. And as was not to become interested! « Weakening massage "," Frank massage of tender girls "," Massage "Pleasure", nice "," Massage "ekstazi" "," Erotic massage “pleasure Falls” »… It was thought: ege, it just that is necessary for such beginners in business of studying-knowledge of the world of paid love as I — so to say, a transitive, preparatory and training stage. The price in massazhno -"weakening"sphere too has appeared exclusively-stable, but in two variants depending on degree odetosti-razdetosti masseurs: in bathing suits — 60 griven (12 dollars); completely bared — 80 (16). In separate salons for 80 offered girls-top woods, but I, naturally, on such hack-work have not pecked. Specificity of service there and then explained by phone: receive, the man, natural weakening massage with obligatory orgazmom in the ending … M-m-mda! And I always believed, and experience prompted to me, that for reception orgazma the relaxation, and excitation is required not. In a word, my curiosity was precisely excited also imagination played. Having clamped 80 griven in a sweaty fist, I have gone to a way. The ordinary panel house, the third floor, door of usual apartment in standard leatherette. On a call to an aperture there was a girl in one bikini. — You to Ole? — She has efficiently asked, correcting a shoulder-strap. — I do not know … — I was restive, levelling breath, — I called half an hour back … — A-a, means, not to me. I — Olja, wait for the client. Pass, pass. Now I will call Masha — it will serve you … In a vestibule there was Masha too covered only with two ministrips of a blue fabric. I about myself have sighed. If Olja was the usual young little girl, quite cute Masha has appeared the natural beauty. To such I in the street and to approach has not dared: the light brown-haired woman of years of twenty five on half-heads above me — a short stylish hairstyle, huge brown eyes, a suntanned flexible figure, a soft and any timid smile … — Hello! Pass here here, to me … I hardly was have not rushed on immemorial rasejskoj to a habit razuvatsja in a corridor, but Masha has kept me. In a room from furniture there was only a chair, a bedside table with a DVD-player and in the centre — a bed-trestle bed, laid by a white bedsheet. Windows are half curtained off. Soft twilight. — To you for sixty or for eighty? — With a lovely smile the beauty has asked. — No, me only hardly for fifty … — I wished to joke, but could not (devil's confusion!) also has only mumbled: — Me on full, for eighty … — Then undress, — Masha has even more lovely smiled. — What, absolutely? And you? — Absolutely I have silly asked. — And I too will undress, — even she has laughed, has there and then thrown off a brassiere and shorts and, standing before me a perfect bronze statue (it sunbathed, at once it was visible, without a bathing suit), silently waited. And during this moment, having forgotten about confusion, I have really started to receive-test pleasure: one only thought that else I am literally five minutes ago here this young chocolate belle and the nobility did not know, did not dream even a word from it peremolvitsja, and here we from it alone in a room, it costs a stone's throw away from me absolutely bared (what breast, My God, what breast at it!!!), looks with a smile at my striptease and it is ready to start to iron-caress at least me hands … And here I already stark naked lay upwards guznom on a trestle bed, silent music sounds, in a room aroma of aromas which Masha lungs poglazhivanijami ladoshek rubs to me in a back spreads, is sympathising-is careful sentencing: — Sunburn at you fresh, the skin hardly is burnt, I will try very much and very gently … And has tried! I, of course, very much tried to relax, but something to me more and more prevented to lay downwards a stomach. Especially, when Masha-iskusnitsa has begun, as I have guessed, with certain intention so low to be declined over my transitory body, that its dummies undertook gorjachit and to burn mine svezhezagorevshuju a back skin. Thus it with the smoothly shaved bosom continually came from my head so the picture directly before my goggle eyes appeared still that! More shortly when the girl has asked to turn over me, I have appeared before its eyes that is called, in full alertness and even again have felt confusion. But also it yet all: I have suddenly felt-has felt on the neck and lobes of ears of her lip, and its hand seriously and in full sense undertook mine vzdyblennogo the friend … What here, to hell, massage! It were already vsamdelishnye kisses, natural love caresses, a prelude! I, absolutely having lost a head and feeling of a reality, too have given vent to hands and lips — fingers undertook to get into the most undercover places obviously too the raised desire of the maiden body filled with a moisture and to kiss-lick a breast, Masha's neck … Soon I have heard its easy groan, have understood, that she has already tested-has received orgazm, and, not having had time to restrain and keep away the moment, in a boyish way quickly and was roughly came-was discharged … While the culprit carefully wiped a stomach wash with napkins, I still excited over a measure, undertook to be driven hot with mean offers: the pier, Mashenka, whether is impossible for an additional payment — really?. But Mashenka as it seemed to me, with grustinkoj refused: no, say, it is impossible, it is forbidden to them, it can lose job, for this purpose there are absolutely other girls and under other announcements … Well, and the truth, I have recollected, that ahead of me new meetings-adventures on this dissolute way wait and have calmed down. I have still lain down minutes ten on a trestle bed, having a rest, Masha has sat down on an edge in feet, and we from it, two naked and quite happy persons, have lovely talked-had a talk «for a life». I have learnt, that to Masha 24 years (and she sincerely was surprised and could not believe, that to me already for fifty — here has pleased-has consoled!) That has terminated the Simferopol university, has tried to serve as the teacher … Here they work on two girls in change, for seven hours: the first change since 10 mornings till 5 evenings; the second — since 5 evenings till 12 nights. Hard, certainly … — Masha, — I was not kept from a question, — and here such, how you, probably, especially hard? — What? — She has not understood. — Well … not cold, not frigid … That you, all change here so in vain "burn-blaze"? — And can, it I only with you so? — She has coquettishly smiled. — Perhaps you have liked me … I am flattered have grinned, gently, as though by the right of already native and close, have stroked its breast. — Here on this pleasant note also we will finish. What — in a shower? — In a shower, — she has laughed, spent me in a bathroom, has given a towel. The payment moment hardly has greased lyricism of mood, moreover and delivery to me it was necessary from hundred griven (the thought has flitted into a head: «on tea» here give or not?), but during the latest instant of parting-farewell the funny note was unexpectedly added: I already behind a threshold spoke to Masha "thanks" and "good-bye", Masha, had time to put on shorts, but with is dazzling a naked breast, smiled to me at last from a doorway as suddenly the door of the next apartment has swung open, there was a granny with a garbage can, has looked in our party and from all the pensionerskoj souls has tastefully spitted out: — Fie on you, shameless persons! We with Masha have involuntarily sprinkled. Slowly striding across evening Sevastopol, happy and purring, I quite sensibly suddenly have thought: if both of us with Masha have equally received orgazm-pleasure from so-called massage for what I then grivnas paid?! But I have there and then straightened out-has dipped the commercialism: about what conversation! My God, yes if to me the day after tomorrow not to leave, I in day yes every day would be dragged on massage sessions to Masha with last grivnas, moreover and, look, would fall in love, vtjurilsja in it on most-most I can not … Naturally, on something similar on gratefulness and high degree I was adjusted next day, going on a visit to nadomnitse to Katya. First I intended to appear suddenly on a visit to the youngest and «nice and gentle» to Lena (especially, a name for me — sign), but a mobile phone at it has appeared is inaccessible at this time, probably, it served the client so it was necessary to be switched to "doubler" Katya. Sotik it at once has responded, the voice of the girl has appeared pleasant, has added to interest and that she lived-worked akkurat in the same area, as massage salon with beauty Masha, almost in the neighbourhood, on the prospectus with the characteristic name — October Revolution. In the house there was koridornaja a system. Pressing the button of a call with necessary number, I have thought: «Can at this Katjushi and a surname still — Maslov?» The door was slightly opened, and I have tested the first shock: two children's attractive faces have looked out one for another. A horse-radish to itself! But, thanks God, it was there and then found out, that these two little girls — neighbour's, simply play the general corridor. I have tested the second pretraumatic shock, when have got accustomed to Katerine: it was obviously more senior declared 24‑х years at least godkov on 5-6, to that though and not urodka, but at all in my taste — the brunette with superfluous ten kgs, a breast of the size 4‑го and bulging eyes. Over a belt of jeans the navel with piercing hung. From piercing me always podtashnivaet … It is visible, having noticed something in my look, she without everyones jakih has asked: — Well, remain? — In what sense? — I have played under the moron. — Well if I do not like, can leave. I not in the claim … To me and to follow to a wise advice (in the same place somewhere "my" young Lena, «nice and gentle», already, podi, was released!), but congenital pseudo-intelligent delicacy and foolish infantilism have kept me. And it was thought: good, me not to fall in love, I behind knowledge-sensations have come — here and I learn on own experience, whether such professional can stir me? And I have stepped for a threshold … Well here to tell? Katya (and later it was found out, that actually she is Inna: here to you and the theory of exotic pseudonyms!) long gave to drink to me on kitchen weak tea, smoked caustic cigarettes, trying to conduct secular conversation, what for admitted, that it did not have anybody some weeks, has told, as has quarrelled vusmert with the groom and ostensibly because of it has moved in krasnofonarnyj business … Then we, embarrassing (it for what reason?!), silently have undressed in a room, were filled up in bed, Inna-Katerina long and not so dexterously attached-pulled to me a cheap condom, then, is noisy snuffling and giving smacking kiss, diligently did minet … For me the elastic band in this process was an innovation, at once not liked, and I was very quickly convinced, that at job the girl does not flare at all, does not burn, and itself has definitively become gloomy. It has somehow finished an oral stage, about a quarter of hour we have rolled about in bed, trying to keep up the conversation and hoping (it, at least) on session continuation. Eventually, she directly has asked: — Well, we will fuck? I have mumbled something about weariness, a headache, have put on, have laid out darling 150 griven on edge styloj beds and have gone home. In a head lines of unforgettable Vysotsky this time sounded: «Is not present, children, all not so! All not so, children!.» Was, without fools, both it is boring, and it is sad (it already — greetings to Michael Jurevichu!). And here during this sad moment in my head the plan of the given narration also began to dawn. It was thought: well from what it I popyorsja to the shameful prostitute? Probably, I am valid, how the autobiographical hero of my novel "Ljupof", in sex I can be engaged only on love or at least on love … Well why was not present near to me — here and now — the beloved? Where they, where all of them podevalis-were disappeared — my liked, my razedinstvennye, my unique, my desired, my eternal? Whether there were they in my life-destiny? Prished home, I took some sheets of paper from the room mistress and on the first have written: «“ Pushkin's Donzhuansky list ”it is, of course, ridiculous …» And has then reflected: so after all and me it is necessary to make the similar list and to begin with to try to understand — who from the given list applies for a rank-status "liked" and who passes under the category «a youth error» and «casual communication»? Drawing up of such list, has appeared, — a problem not from lungs. Already from Sevastopol for a long time has returned, and it all utochnjalsja-filled. At last, having passed for figure 60, I have understood, that all the same completeness and ischerpannosti hardly will manage to be reached the register (how much fleeting communications-contacts happened on excite, in the charcoal forgetful I go, especially in a youth!) also has decided to put an end. And at what here quantity? All the same to me to indicators, let us assume, French writer George Simenona and in a dreadful dream not to come nearer (over ten thousand women!) so there is nothing to recollect disposable prowaggons-shalashovok with which the joker the Destiny at times pushed together me on a course of life. Yes, it is solved, I will recollect-analyze only the present novels, to call from the past only those girls and women with who were at us mutual love which for ever remained in memory, to my destiny, became a part of my life, filled with its happiness and suffering … So, my heart, in a way — in depths of the lived years and memory. <<<(P. 0) (P. 2)>>>
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© Rosedkin Sergey Nikolaevich, 2001
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