- Sergey Rosedkin -
		p r about z and
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THE DRUNK Part 1 The chapter II P. 2	The chapter II As I have fallen in love 1 But before it will be a question about further, it is necessary to tell-recollect at least in brief — as I have lost a hand. For my physical inability has played then, solving minute, a central role, has rescued, it is possible to tell, me a life. And in general a former piece of my Destiny, my forty two lived years — direct road to that eventually was occurred-has happened to me. I have lost a hand by nonsense, on great that make a fool, which is peculiar to all pimply, enamoured, moreover and to drunk young morons. There was it in Moscow when I studied at university, veins in a hostel in the street SHvernika, in the well-known House of the post-graduate student and the trainee — DASe. I went To that student's time as crazy, in my head all as though boiled, blood ran on veins and arteries curling, pushes, without restraint. And that! To get from transbaikalian gluhomannogo villages to capital of empire moreover and in the legendary university world is there was a fairy tale, a fantasy, drunk materialised delirium. I arrived on durika. Before I twice tried to break in Literary institute. Once, to army, has sent there on creative competition tetradochku the children's opuses, not suspecting, that anybody and never becomes there, in Moscow, even to open it is in the commission after all entirely far-sighted patriarchs of Parnassus for whom typewriting on white melovannoj to a paper is feasible only sit short-sighted yes and is indispensable through two intervals. To me at all have not answered. Another time and in last when I already worked in the regional newspaper after a demobilisation and had possibility to spank the compositions on editorial "Bashkiria", I on all hundred have been assured of success. In expectation of a call on examinations went on edition and on village with the released poetic kind, has grown hair to shoulders and cultivated near by a romantic strip of moustaches. When I have taken out from a mail box a lean envelope with stamp Litinstituta, I have quickly hidden it under a shirt, have walked in the room-coffin, was locked from mother and sister on a latch and, really, the whole hour sat on a bed, roughly and with emotion breathing. Thoughts flashed: all will change now … ahead — glory … in Moscow I will live … At last, when heart iznylo and nerves have got tired to vibrate, I have ripped up an envelope and have got a piece of paper-form where my surname has been by hand entered, the text blackened kserokopichno chilly: «By results of creative competition in Literary institute of And. You are not admitted by M.Gorkogo to entrance examinations. Reviews and responses are not sent, manuscripts do not come back». Here and well, that do not come back! However, there is still a second copy and draught copies. I already had even a present poem lyrical «the Baikal dawns» and a poem-parody on one public poet — «the Familiar atomic power station», there were many verses on love: «roses — frosts», «to like — to kill», «melancholy — CSKA» … I looked through them and tore. In scraps. I have destroyed all till last line, and have then trudged in pivnushku «Woman's tears», have swallowed casting otravnogo Vermouth and sour beer to an Adam's apple, all the evening long cried, bleval and swore also all convinced the friends: I any more do not write verses — sha!. When I have sobered up in couple of days, I am sensible on a sick head have thought: the poet I, of course, any — in it to convince me it is possible; but the journalist I — not from the last. From school it has started to be published in rajonke, now here in staff: materials always go on hurrah, them praise-mark, letters-responses, that in our newspaper a rarity from rarities come even. In a word, forward and from songs! I have decided to arrive on Moscow State University journalism faculty. The editor of the newspaper, the wisest Vladimir Mihajlovich, giving out the characteristic and a direction, has tried to moderate my aplomb cautiously: a pier, Vadim, at least to Irkutsk try, or to Tomsk. The same repeated to me both the mother, and friends-friends, but I have had a snack a bit. Lines with it, with nasty zaznajskim Litinstitutom, but I will study all the same only in Moscow. And Destiny, it is visible, has complied my pressure, my determination. I have slipped. More than that, I have handed over entrance examinations without three so at once has provided to itself stipuhu without which the first year hardly would survive-has sustained. By the way, I was especially stunned with examination in a faculty of foreign languages. I knew German as well approximately, as a parrot-cockatoo — language human. When I, crimson from natugi and confusions, muttered-barked to two coquettish post-graduate students something "in German", I with melancholy thought: «Everything, on it and — aufviderzeen!» However, darlings aspirantochki poshchebetali-have consulted the friend with druzhkoj and have sung to me a duet: — Fi-and-ir! I, not believing the ears, have seized examination sheet: precisely — the four. I in a delight paroxysm have not rushed to kiss nearly darlings nemochek. Already then I have learnt: it appears, much solves interview and the creative competitive composition. So somewhere in ugolochke mine otmetochnogo begunka for examiners a certain conditional badge has been drawn-is marked: concern supposedly this entrant from a godforsaken place more tenderly. That post-graduate students-nemochki also have made, — give to them the God of good import husbands yes more pfennigov and stamps! I all it wished them in absentia, but aloud when after examination clinked glasses polnopennymi with mugs with the same successful associates-abiturami in a beer cellar "Castle" on Pushkin. We have quickly rendered habitable this pivnushku in the centre of Moscow where liked, speak, to happen Sergey Yesenin, and each examination washed here pivkom from automatic machines, port from contraband of the carried by bottles and zaedali hot aristocratic shrimps. All it costed then quite reasonably. And after "Castle" in that poslenemetsky evening I tried to give on Glavpochtamte the telegramme to the uncle with the aunt to Voroshilovgrad, but the telegraph operator could not comprehend the text in any way: «Ih has arrived in Moskau uniferzitet». Hardly in militia has not rung out. Here so I became the student of nice Moscow university of name Mihajly Vasilicha of Lomonosov. And the life was started turning by a mad roundabout. Study, contrary to expectations, has appeared not such gryzogranitnoj. Already from the second semestre I have started to receive the raised grant, only on a tchervonets more, a trifle, apparently, and — it is pleasant. However, it was necessary poddalblivat the same rastrekljatyj dojch, marasmic istmat with diamatom, yes absolutely illogical political economy of capitalism. But especially the idiotic absolutely subject under the name — bases of scientific communism bored. Running forward, I will tell, that in university my diploma one flaunts only trojak and on it oligofrennomu to pseudoscientific communism. Than I, by the way, always also am proud. Nevertheless other subjects were swallowed and acquired, that is called, on run. And the main and major subject — "life" — was comprehended and learnt, basically, within the precincts of a hostel. I admit fairly, and houses, the village, I was not the good child, but kakovye customs and usages were met by me in DASe is in a realistic narration to tell, a ball pen to describe. Two enormous 16-storeyed panel books connected in architectural dilogiju by a glass crosspiece, have been stuffed by love stories more densely, than eight volumes «Thousand and one night». By well-aimed definition of old cynic Lazarja Naumycha from rajvendispansera, abbreviation DAS was deciphered not as the House of the post-graduate student and the trainee, and as — the House of active sex. And it is valid, students, post-graduate students and trainees not only and studied not so much, how much drank, had fun and snoshalis-fucked. Not all, of course, but — many. Has got, as they say, to this company and I. Us, first-year students, have larded on five individuals in a room. The destiny has connected me in a room № 1328 with Sashej from Krasnodar, Pashas from Riga, Arkashej from Dudinka and Lyonej-tuljakom. I will not advertise their surname is to me already to lose there is nothing, and to live, can, remains … And so, we have converged five together and have started to live-be in an angular room almost on the upper part of first case DaSa. From windows of our monastery the high-rise house in the neighbourhood in which lived mother Vladimir Semenovicha Vysotsky and to which was well looked through, speak, he quite often looked. So quite possibly on road from DASa in shopping centre "Черёмушки" I could face at any moment on sidewalk face to face with Vysotsky. By the way, and "CHeryomushki", and we DAS was played by the roles in Eldara Ryazanov's improbably popular film «the Twist of fate, or With easy steam». And we, snotty provincials, in the first days of a student's life simply were stunned, having got from a remote dirt in capital knjazi, from the grey ordinary for a life holiday, so similar to cinema. And the holiday youth thirsts aggressively. However, much depends and on character. Already with the first — on house warming — pjanki we opredelilis in general-were distributed: who at us is who, and then it and has proved to be true obshchezhitskim life-bytyom. For example, it was quickly found out, that I and the long as Peter the Great, the Arkasha-northerner — both of us not fools to drink. Sasha with Paul craved more moderately and never opohmeljalis, and the yesterday's schoolboy and the gold medallist cherub Lyonechka — in general hardly pushed in the organism rjumashku small wines by the most celebratory necessity. On a rank of philanderers, seladonov, lady's men, and simply speaking — bljadunov, we applied practically with Sashej, theoretically — the same Arcady with the hussar moustaches, and Russian Balt the Pasha and tuljak Lyonja, on the contrary, still believed in present and razedinstvennuju Love from the big letter, expected only it. Teoretizm ardent Arkashi spoke its tightened devstvom. Ours with Alexander practicalness as regards ladies-with spoke also that more prosy: we were more senior the others, something in a life have already seen, on love front to gunpowder have smelt, is as though sensitive souls and have got a bit tired, in love were disappointed — so to us, at least, was thought and it seemed. I will add for completeness of a picture, that DAS has been overflowed by students, stazhyorkami and post-graduate students for all tastes, and in rooms stood for some reason polutoraspalnye the beds quite containing to steam of young bodies not fattened still. Besides, our room, as well as all others in a hostel, had a niche-zakutok and two bulky cases — book and platjanoj, — so easily turned to polygonal apartment: that is, it was partitioned off on two, three and more inhabited of a corner. Plus to everything, was available bathing, let and combined with nuzhnikom, but all the same — rather convenient place for emergency declarations of love. In love sensual and ardent. 2 For red day of 7th November there was in a room № 1328 present orgy in the spirit of the Roman nights of the period of decline. Lyonechka has left for holidays home, in the samovarnuju Tula. Still timid with women Arkasha has gone on a visit to the distant old relative to Medvedkovo. And at us the hot cheerful company from three pairs slozhilas-has stuck together: the Pasha nevertheless has decided to test itself, to taste terrible, but an attractive word — "debauchery". Trying at least formally to observe a known rule-saying about incompatibility of a place of residing with larceny, we have invited not ours zhurnalistochek, and — psihichek, that is students from psychology faculty. Were divided so: Sasha the salno shining eyes of the Caucasian voluptuary at once has noticed the same is fanatical-lewd shine in narrow eyes Fainy with boyish, colours voronova covered with a hairdress; I have put an eye on fragile slender Ljubu with the small hitched up nouse and blue glazishchami on half of face; to the confused bearded Pasha has got puhljavaja busty-thick-lipped Lizaveta which has hung at once at it on a shoulder and has started to devour the poor Pasha cow, with povolokoj greedy eyes. On a table — that only was not. Caviar pajusnoj was not, the cervelat was not, cognac too was not. But two powerful streams flew wine chernilno-portvejnoe and vodka, curd cakes, sausage doctor's and soljanka from a sourcrout the can stimulated our student's appetite of a sprat in a tomato, plavlenye. However, unless this main thing on a holiday — zakus? Yes is not present, certainly! There was at us a guitar-shestistrunka, there was also a revolving object — not "SHarp", of course, but well posharpannaja, hard-working. From tens worn out modnjachih disks — than not a record library? And — the most important thing — there was at us inescapable still a youth and thirst of a holiday, passionate warmed-up energy boiled-gurgled in organisms. In an hour after the feast beginning the cigarette smoke and a fun smoke in a room 1328 curled not worse, than a smoke powder on the Borodino field, judging by Bondarchuk's film. Danced so, that cases jumped up. And then, after the next toast in honour of "great" and "October" which has given to all of us of what it is possible to dream only, Sasha took in hands a guitar and has started singing a pre-revolutionary petty-bourgeois romance: — Were once and we trotters And we had drivers dashing … Of course: sang Sasha not on-komsomolski — sensually and it is sweet. All on pleasure, and me also on envy — I am absolutely deprived hearing and a voice. At me before disgusting primitive hearing, that, for example, from classics I perceive only the most simple and clear music — Tchaikovsky, Beethoven, Strauss, Sviridov … However, joking apart, that evening me krepenko korjabnulo on heart and not only on it when my Love which I already was in time during a tango is tasty to kiss few times, foully having forgotten about me, have stuck glazishchami enthusiastically into our bard and, moving with sweet lips-vishenkami, picked up-absorbed a romance from its juicy lips. Alas to me, alas! It was necessary to make an exchange there and then. Still, praise to the Allah, east Faina has indifferently enough concerned singing talent Sashki and has not less indifferently apprehended castling of boyfriends. I, certainly, was first inflated, as the mouse on groats, was accepted kuksitsja and to spoil all mood, but toasts followed toasts: drank and in honour of the Moscow university, and in honour of nice Lenin Komsomol, and in honour of personally Leonid Ilicha, and separately in honour of his eyebrows, and, certainly, — in honour of lovely ladies-with. So my grief-insult quickly was dissolved, not having been in time plainly to take shape. But, according to theory Stendalja, rough crystallisation of love has begun — yes the French this classic in this case will excuse me an euphemism. I Faina during dances so densely stuck to me and so furiously stuck into my lips, that I already burnt, I flared and thawed. And when, in next prised for a table, provornitsa, having lifted up nearly to a navel a skirt, has scrambled to me on knees and it zayorzala unambiguously-was started turning on me juloj, I have lost consciousness and itself plainly have not noticed, how have come to be with ardent dultsineej in a bathroom. Also that it was accepted, kudesnitsa, there to get up!. When we in half an hour have appeared again on public, I first did not lift eyes, but have soon noticed, as affairs to anybody to me are not present. I was stirred up and has plunged into this shabash all and entirely. At Sashi with Ljubashej has put too more or less moved ahead: they already kissed during dances at all and did not tear off eyes from each other. I have noted, however, that Sashok, contrary to the nature and roskaznjam-memoirs on former victories, keeps modestly enough, to hands will does not give. At the third sew couples the initiative considerably belonged to the lady: temperamental, despite komplektsiju, Lizaveta under the law of all ljadej did not begin to wait favour from the boyfriend, has grasped it in a dense hoop-captivity of the powerful embraces, has begun to rain kisses on it and to bother. The poor fellow the Pasha is melancholy-predgibelno glanced at us with Alexander, flushed, is doomed was answerable, as a triton, and swallowed for spirit of hated vodka. The further is recollected sketchy, fragments. Like Sasha with Any would remain domohozjajnichat, and we four together went down in a winter garden on a disco. Then already we with Fainoj have appeared suddenly in a room one and cheerfully have begun to get up to everyones markizdesadovskie features-drjuchki. I remember still as we with Alexander persuaded the Pasha to be more courageous, to grow fond at last Lizavetu as a real man — simply and without everyones fintifljushek. We even pushed Paul in a room where in darkness has hidden in an ambush flaring Lizaveta … Next morning come back from visitors Arkasha has become hollow at not locked door and has found the following picture: on pillows of three beds behind cases and in a niche snuffled it is sweet on two heads, in the middle of a room amazed with picturesqueness the ruined table, and room air still, appear, streamed miasmata of desire and love fluids. Arkasha hardly sljuni has not started up. Little girls especially were not excited, having beheld from a dream of the unfamiliar and superfluous person. However, it there and then, having supplied with tughriks, have equipped in shop behind a medicine. Love love, and heads at all hooted nabatno and holiday continuation demanded. The it is more, 8th November too red day — thanks of party and to the Soviet government. And when the raised Arcady vozvernulsja with a full tinkling bag, binge has flashed with new force. Arkasha, quickly opohmelivshis, zadyorgal me for a sleeve: the pier to tell chyo it is necessary. We with it left in a corridor, and Arcady has roughly whispered: — Vadim, the friend, I will die, really! Give to me though to have a look! — Yes that to have a look? — I did not think charcoal still brains. — Well, as you will be!. I will imperceptibly get into a case — there the hole is … And? I have presented, as two-metre Arkasha will be, having been double up to stick out in a case, looking out in a hole bed scenes, and nearly have not choked with a laughter. Arkasha, not taking offence, with entreaty looked at me, licking lips. I have slapped the sufferer on a shoulder: — It is not necessary, Arkash to be humiliated before women! What for to you a foolish role of the spectator, and? Prepare, today you will become not the boy, but the husband. — How so? — Already in advance, on a habit, zarobel Arkasha. — That you! It is not necessary! — It is necessary, the brother, it is necessary, — I have firmly said. — Sometime it is necessary, and? — And with whom? — Already overcoming the chronic trembling, Arcady has quickened. — Now I will more close acquaint you — not drejf, — and I have confidently pushed Arkashu into the filled with smoke den. The matter is that the Pasha, having seized in the morning minute, poterjanno admitted to me about the night fiasco: alas, it has not justified ardent desires Lizavety, zakompleksoval at all. — The devil only knows, — the Pasha, nervously chewing a cigarette muttered, — at me all turned out with Olej, my neigbour of the house … And here — though a jack drag … Perhaps I the patient, and? — Yes throw you! — I have supported spirit in a companion. — do not take in a head. Simply your neigbour Olja to you, it is visible, liked, and this lady not so — and? — Yes, yes! — the Pasha was delighted. — me even toshnit from it … So when I have placed to started missing kvyoloj Lizavete our moustached grenadier, it there and then vosprjala from ashes and was accepted crimson Arkashu obmusolivat yes to feel. The Pasha who has become cheerful from freedom, in turn, razduharilsja, undertook to dance with great feeling and to poison salty jokes. And that was created with Arkashej when, after pair hours, it has really learnt, at last, sweet of a carnal sin — and to describe it is not necessary. The holiday has gone right. And how much similar holidays happen-has dropped out — already and not to recollect. Especially, occasions to collect a good company for covered not in an every day way a table sufficed much. After Great October Day of the Soviet Constitution, and there followed and New year, then Day of the Soviet Army and Navy fleet, the International women's day, Day of the Soviet astronautics, the May Day holiday of solidarity of workers, Day of the Soviet truthful press, Day of the Soviet authentic radio, Put a convincing Victory … Yes to that, there were every year at each of us birthdays. And the end of winter or summer session — unless a weak occasion? So — pour and drink! Off-schedule events-occasions dropped out and at all: for example — the next congress of the CPSU. No, in this case we also have not guessed to arrange a feast, however, on congress there has arrived the delegate big brother Paul, partorg military unit, and has glanced to us on a spark. Already having clinked glasses few times for a meeting and acquaintance, having relaxed, Pashin the brother-major has told, how its own reaction during the most solemn moment of congress has amazed. — Know, children, I, as well as all of us are a cynic but when Brezhnev has entered into a hall and all have jumped, has jumped suddenly and I. More than that, clapped from heart, with all the heart, and even tears on eyes have appeared … Here after all a psychosis what! Yes-a-a, a psychosis in those brezhnie table times sufficed. And — cynicism. However, the life prevailed and went the turn. We still were able to rejoice lives. 3 The first cynic Sashka married. Married on Ljube. From that loose sedmonojabrskogo day they did not leave any more and though at times quarrelled, but were by all means reconciled and eventually on the course second already have celebrated a wedding. I witnessed from the groom, honey-beer drank — on moustaches flew and to a mouth has fairly got. The following, after half a year, marvellously all ozhenilsja our curly Lyonechka. One and a half year it sat at lectures and seminars with the same schoolgirl-medalistkoj, saw in it a companion on study, the sparring partner in sessions and has suddenly noticed, that at contact with the girlfriend-honours pupil even slightly lokotkami him beats a current and throws in heat. And when they have kissed casually once, here all and vyjasnilos-was resolved. Pigeons have got married. I again played a role of the best man — my fate is that. And already on the fourth year when we lived in a three-local cabin, the turn and Pashas has come. He married on … to my bride. Yes-yes! The matter is that for a New Year's feast one of ours, dasovskih, has invited little girls in the hostel zemljachku, this most Tonju-limitchitsu, strongly dreaming with serious, as they say, intentions to meet the student-journalist. To it have in absentia recommended me: as senior among the associates, most (that to hide!) talented and very much even the gallant gentleman — was, there was once a gunpowder in powder flasks! Me too have warned, and since first minutes of acquaintance with nice bolsheglazoj Tonej I have begun to build diligently hens. Business moved ahead under the scenario: we sat at a table near, a hip in a hip, my hand already as though inadvertently poterjalas-was forgot on a shoulder of the guest, we have already clinked glasses on brudershaft and — is still affected — have kissed … And here I was brought by short-sightedness: then I yet did not carry points and in twilight of villages in the enormous pool. I have begun to knit from sloves the next poetic compliment to the lady and have screwed something about ours with it related uniting colour of eyes — brown. And — all. A certain mysterious toggle-switch has clicked, contact has broken, Tonechka, for a second before listening to each my word, has suddenly gone out, was removed, has erased a tender smile from lips. I on the trouble (or happiness — Your ways are inscrutable, My God!) not at once it has noticed, has distracted, has gone to dance in the heat of fun with other girlfriend and when has thought suddenly, Toni and a trace has caught a cold. And her zemljachka me has scolded: oh you supposedly and the boyfriend, your mother! Has not made out, that at the bride future an eye is rare-green, emerald — than she is proud to chrezvychajnosti. You will correct-cover next time the oploshku … But anything to me to cover it was not necessary, and, to admit, would not be desirable: something I before wedding-marriage like as though also have not ripened. But the Destiny of the Pasha-rizhanina has started, has seized reins of events in the hands. Nedasovsky modest divchina it was looked to my friend at first sight. When in couple of weeks Tonina zemljachka has glanced to us in a room and has started to pull me on a visit to Tone for old New year — to correct oploshku, and I undertook kochevrjazhitsja and to refuse, the Pasha has gone va-bank and has offered itself as the accompanying. This day also has defined all. As the Pasha then pictured in detail, he would not dare at any steps-explanations, if not absolutely wild case. Tonja in the Warm Camp, in the obshchagovskoj to a room-section has welcomed visitors dressed still home-style — in a dressing gown. And then, when the celebratory table has been issued, it has disappeared in a bathroom — to change clothes. And to the Pasha already drunk without wine and badly thinking, was impatient extremely in a toilet on small need — in that civilised hostel limitchikov the bathroom was separate. It has passed in a corridor, has got confused and by mistake torknulsja at a bathroom door. Doors otverzlis, and the Pasha has turned to a hydrochloric column — has in a moment hardened and has become covered salty then: the mistress in one white shorts, too having hardened, looked at it green glazishchami, showing the delights in all barefaced beauty. And the breast at Toni is I in New Year's evening has noticed under a blouse — was available, so to say, in enough. To Paul was that to contemplate, is more correct — persizret. During this perfect instant which has stopped while inscrutable (or too in a female way ingenious) Tonja has not covered scarlet maiden sostsy, the Pasha and has terrified definitively. No wonder, that it is literally in three months they with Tonej were combined by a legal marriage, have rented a room and have begun to breed and breed. I, by itself, on wedding witnessed next another's happiness. We with Arkashej remained on the fifth year in trehmestke together — the Pasha has turned to «a dead soul». By the way, I have more recently learnt how present, reorganisation times, dasovskie dead souls hand over the obshchezhitskoe a place, and for currency — the kojko-place costs 80-100 dollars. Here, it is valid, — o tempora, o mores! Then, in the early eighties, about nasty devjanostokopeechnye dollars and thoughts at anybody from us did not arise, so there were we with Arkashej on three cots in a room together. Last Mohicans. 4 However, "together" is it is strongly told. I, frankly to tell, have got a bit tired both soul, and a body. And anything surprising in that is not present: Petchorin, my coeval practically, by twenty five years oravnodushel to female delights, has started missing, has ceased to fill up a collection of love victories. I passionately suddenly wanted to any pure, raised, poetic love, something such in the spirit of Turgeneva, and it is even better — Russo. With sexually anxious the such happens pretty often. And my dreams-lamentations in heavens have been heard. The matter is that I have not thrown verses and at university. Even went few times to Igor Volgin's well-known poetic studio which those years still was considered as the poet, instead of dostoevskovedom. But litstudija to me it was not looked — I do not like to discuss the creations publicly, moreover and in the manuscript. However, on publishing houses yes to editions, as well as all young, was persistently dragged-pohazhival. And here has come true: a selection from five my rhymes tisnuli in one "molodogvardejskom" the collection. With biographic vrezkoj, a photograph — all as is necessary. It on the fourth year. And here, when I have already ceased to be surprised — why it me do not learn in streets and do not demand autographs? — I also have tasted for the first time a glory draught. I have arrived on summer practice, already in second time, to Sevastopol. Last year I never before seeing the seas, have once and for all fallen in love in this handsome man a city of Russian glory and already thought: whether to be distributed after journalism faculty here? As in edition of the city newspaper have concerned me with open arms, I have had here obviously to a court yard. And here I have come to be again on the Black Sea coast, already in the rank of the published poet and in expectation of light deep and lyrical feeling. In the first put, in a typographical dining room, I have felt suddenly on myself heat of a steadfast sight. The fair-haired girl similar, honestly, on an angel looked at me in all grey eyes-saucers. I even was confused, poperhnulsja, nearly have not choked semiedible obshchepitovskim a ragout and torknul under table Volodju from sport department: who it? It has appeared: new korrektorsha, just from school — Lena. Without any dirty ulterior motives, it is simple owing to a habit, an instinct, I have waited Lena on an exit from a dining room and, besides as usual, with uhmylochkoj have stretched it a pack of Moscow "Java". — The madam will light? Lena it is for some reason guilty has smiled and confusedly admitted: — I do not smoke, that you! H'm … I have replaced at once tone: before me really there was a normal girl is I has understood potaskannym the heart at once. — You call — Lena? And me — Vadim. At you is from a dinner of tens minutes? Perhaps breathe the sun while I will poison the lungs? — To breathe the sun? — She has smiled wonderfully. — just the poet can tell … Here so yes! — The poet? You know, what I write verses? — I have exclaimed involuntarily, passing it forward on open space of summer seaside day. We have gone downwards, to the Artillery bay. Lena has wrapped up to me the person, the beginnings drawlingly: — As the person much can, When he has grown fond … Good gracious! My heart has had a shower bath boiling balm. I have screamed, have interrupted: — So you saw my selection in "Sail"? — Still! I liked your verses! — and suddenly she, strange having looked at me, has with conviction told. — I knew, that you again will arrive on practice, waited … I have not had time to answer somehow something as she has added: — I last year read all your articles, all to uniform … I, of course, it was stunned by all, involuntarily very much zauvazhal. And, certainly, at once has felt to Elena vlechene — an illness sort. And when I have learnt-has heard, that she too writes verses, and it too had a first publication serious and too in «Young guards» — I and has at all begun to boil, has lost a head. This very day Lena when I have signed already copy of my "Sail" in advance laid up by it, has presented to me the collection «Early dawn» with the poem written still in sixteen years. The foreword to the collection and comments was written, by the way, by that public well-known poet on whom I once have composed a poem-parody. But when I have read its parting word addressed personally to Lena, I have excused much to this variety poprygunchiku-starperu — «I believe you, Lena!.» To see, and this old buffoon was touched by poetic revelations of the Sevastopol girl: Something wanders not clear, Hardly loose in me — Distance-breadth the immense Often I dream. Often it is acted in film winds violent And the nomad an arrow, The rivers sonorously-chistostrujnye, In height flight of an eagle. And over stjpjami kovylnymi Gold board the moon, And embraces someone's strong, Cups of foamy wine, Horses lungs, hot Often-more often it dream me. Because, correctly, I cry Also I laugh at times in a dream. Now, already, it is possible to tell, itozha a life, I more all do not cease to be surprised to two things in the Destiny: first, when me do not like, that is when the beauty who was pleasant to me suddenly does not love me; and, secondly, I was even more amazed and was surprised, when with me fell in love — each girl or the woman who has answered my feelings, nonplused me. Well, for what, for what it is possible to like such obormota, how I?. Truly, the world Divine is full of miracles, and heart female — one of the most amazing secrets on light. No wonder, that I have started talking so poeticheski and is ardent: the love of Lena has stunned me, has inspired, has uplifted in celestial heights. We have begun, as it is accepted to speak, meet: walked after job on got tired of a heat and mnogoljudja to Sevastopol, ate ice-cream and drank sometimes on a champagne glass in pavilion on Big Sea, left on Seaside parkway to Count landing stage, admired a bay, a monument to the flooded ships, a watchtower in the distance … Anything there is no painfully more beautifully a sea on a decline of day! And on days off we went to bathe to Chersonese or on a beach Solar, searched there for a place is more lonely and could not see enough against each other and have a good long talk. The suntanned young body of Lena hardly covered with a blue bathing suit, disturbed-excited my sight, but I and thoughts did not suppose to touch it even casually. It is literally for the second day when I spent Lena to the house, she has invited me to come, meet parents. I, clearly, was frightened at once, even hands have waved — acquaintance to ancestors of my girlfriends was included never into my plans. But Lena has seriously and convincingly proved: — The daddy with mum worry, when I come late and when they learn you — to worry will cease. Well — that here you will mind?. This evening, the truth, I could not step over myself and an apartment Leninoj threshold, but next day, having prepared morally and outwardly, in a white shirt, with carnations in a sweaty hand, have appeared before eyes of her parents. And already in half an hour I stayed in confidence, that a sign with Eudoxia Petrovnoj and Vasily Kirillovichem since times of these when under a table on foot went. I have understood at once, in whom was born such beauty and razumnitsej their unique daughter, Elena — wonderful have appeared old men. The father, the truth, has not restrained — in the beginning when for acquaintance we have lifted for rich, to my arrival covered, a table thimbles with house fruit liqueur, — has stated-has hinted in a toast: a pier, the daughter was raised-cared by them in hope that it will get in the wife worthy, not to the windy person. But Vasily Kirillovich and to finish speaking plainly was not in time, as Eudoxia Petrovna for a sleeve has begun to rebuff it, utihomirivat to expostulate it: — Yes appease, old! And that the daughter our itself in people does not understand! She of the person heart sees … Lena, looking at them, smiled. 5 I have returned to Moscow on wings and, according to Arkashi, growing stupid. Nearly every day I have begun to scribble and receive letters, to run on a public telephone booth. And Arkasha … Arkasha was already far not that in the beginning dasovskoj zhituhi. About, now Arcady used steady and loud glory of the sexual giant in a hostel. And — deservedly. Having jumped over a barrier own devstva, having tasted and rasprobovav delights of carnal love, it has rushed in revelry rashly, undertook to irrigate with a hot and inescapable seed insatiable bosoms of the future journalists and psihichek, post-graduate students and stazherok, and also young still women from attendants. Arcady was looked grenaderski gallantly, had smart moustaches, besides had a reputation for burzhuina though the grant did not receive — liking ancestors-northerners supplied it preizbytochnym with quantity of a money. So Arkasha, quite cheerfully and carefree making mischief, liked to sing, as though in absentia bantering at the dean of journalism faculty Jasenom Nikolaevichem Zasursky: — I have asked at JAsena: «Where my grant?» It is clear has not answered me, swinging a head … And, of course, we have begun to live in our room not together, and under the formula-system 2 + h where h (iks) are constantly varying girl-friends Arcady. Evenings and nights behind cases with which has tightly fenced off corner-brothel Arkasha, distributed prichmoki kisses, giggling, lewd snickers and voluptuous vshlipy. Arcady first was accepted was to result-drag and on my share of pretty girls, but has soon thrown the invention and was already glad at least to if I not especially grumbled. However, I tried not to grumble strongly — it would not be desirable hanzhit and farisejstvovat. To that, I undertook seriously study, was exhausted with neprivychki at seminars, lectures, in library and when came home got tired, clapped — at desire — a wine glass-other (at Arkashi behind cases the feast was not translated) and fell asleep as the baby, not hearing champing of bodies copulating nearby. And in a dream I flew to the sea, saw white lambs of waves, homeric white columns of Chersonese and light grey devchonochi eyes … Before holidays — next October — in a post cell on the letter "N" I was waited by the telegramme: «there WILL be JOURNEY to Moscow the SIXTH PASSENGER a CAR THREE MEET Lena». I have begun to fuss, have borrowed from Arcady the twenty and, having knelt, have begged: — For God's sake, Arkasha, the friend, release to me a room for a holiday — first and last time I ask! posnoshajsja somewhere on the party … Arkasha into position has entered, to the request has listened, even it is obscene, hmyr dissolute, has grinned: — Whether it is impossible, — has joked, — in a case zabratsja-hide yes poprisutstvovat at your appointment? I even seriously psihanul: — A pig you, Arcady! A dirty lewd pig! Arkasha, certainly, — on popjatnuju. And I after all and really about what such-such and to think was not dared. Where Lena was going to, I yet did not know, but the train Sevastopol comes in the evening so all the same it is necessary to spend the night somewhere. I, in case of what, will be arranged on a free bed. In case of what?. No, nevertheless in mean mine prostitutskom an interior, somewhere in the corrupted subconsciousness, flashed also hot myslishki: and suddenly?. That to hide, I was crazy about Lena in all senses but while, in Crimea, and that only in the latest days, we have tested only dizziness and sweet insatiable from long unconscious kisses. And I understood: a holiday together, alone, a holiday with wine and eye sights in eyes, with involuntary contacts and free kisses … I have bought, as in Sevastopol, three is gentle-scarlet roses, at once, from a car footboard, have picked up Lena in embraces, have carried aside from fussy crowd, have pressed to myself, have kissed on laughing children's lips. — Lena where you go? Where your suitcase? — To you. A suitcase — here, — it has shown the small varnished handbag and is tasty has burst out laughing. — after all I in transit — to Sevastopol. The ticket return already in a handbag. So two days and two our nights, the maestro! Nights?. I have in a moment boiled, zaklokotal, as the overflowed teapot. But nevertheless has not restrained, has specified: — And how mother with the father you have released? — And why they could not release me? — Lena seriously, bewildered looked at me. — me already eighteen, first. And secondly, I it have told: I go to see you and to wander on celebratory capital. What in it bad? And bad, really, in it was nothing. I have rejected while all hot unnecessary thoughts on then: ahead time a great lot — as Destiny will turn, and will be. And I, under in advance thought over plan, have rushed Lena by the underground to journey of Art theatre, to semibasement cafe "Artistic" — a unique place in holiday Moscow where it is possible to have a snack and drink almost without turn. Really, at an input in this pitejno-nutritious institution crowded all the person ten. Already in half an hour we with Lena sat at a double little table, drank champagne and cheerfully bit into the flat chickens roasted as joked studiozusy, in tobacco. I soared in weightlessness. Lena with the golubenkoj a ribbon in light ringlets, sinenkom a jumper atop golubenkogo dresses attracted attention of many visitors muzheska a floor and at all only the normal. — You know, — I have cheerfully whispered to the Lena which has turned pink after the second glass of a sparkling wine, — and you in the blue dress like even to the blue. — To whom, whom? — Lena has not understood. I have told innocent to naivety to the little girl as has got once here, so to say, sexually vprosak. In day of the grant or a pay from the house I dared at times shikanut — to have supper on-barski, in a big way. However, then it was quite possible to sit on a tchervonets decently to one at restaurant, and in kafejushnike and at all to manage the five. Once I with such loose intention also have glanced in "Artistic". I already read-knew, how here liked to have a rest there is no time coryphaeuses old MHATa, sat at a little table, respectfully looked round, with aspiration absorbed historical air of bohemian cafe. Two guys have sat down by me, have reserved to itself port "Crimean", chops, apples. Have started to chew, drink and fray. Certainly, clinked glasses and with me. One of them — kudrjavenky, without moustache, with languid eyes and crimson pouting lips — the beginnings suddenly it is strange to cling to me, to giggle, sigh, suffice me for a hand and to add to my glass of the port. I long — was still that lout rural! — it was not cut, while the friend kudrjavenkogo, having seized a minute when that has fluttered out in a toilet, not ogloushil me: «I see, — speaks, — you do not understand: shurochka mine — the pederast. He, a pig, vtjurilsja in you — has understood?» — Present, Lena, — hohotnul I, — mine ostolbenenie. Has more soon paid off and — to be rescued. That Shurik-Shurochka does not cry nearly, a hand has seized, and I mutter-say lies, as if I the groom and me the bride wait … Umora! Here it is easy to that to get — kind people the party bypass. Lena uncertainly smiled, — I joke or I tell the vile truth? — Has begun to look back at visitors shy. — Yes be not afraid you! — I have encouraged. — on women they do not turn attention seriously … Lena has frowned, not hiding, that the theme is not pleasant to it. And — has hastened on fresh air. We have drunk up a love semisweet drink and left. In the street, bleskuchej and dank from a recent drizzle, I have helped Lena to wrap up more densely a throat sharfikom, have drawn to myself, have kissed. — Well, what — to me in DAS? — We will go we will better take a walk, and? I want to Pushkin … Well, we have gone upwards on Bitter to bronze Alexander Sergeevichu … Then still above — to Vladimir Vladimirovichu … Then with third and last rose have started wandering on parkways to Michael Jurevichu … Then, already without colours, to other Alexander Sergeevichu … When before underground closing there was all an hour, I have not sustained: — Lena, Lenochka, well have gone, at last, to me! Already the underground just about … And through watch is more difficult to break — there grandmas-tserbery such … at night It has lifted on me big, liking, but sad eyes. — Vadim, I do not want … I am afraid. — Me?! Lena, yes for whom you accept me? — I have boiled sincerely, seriously. — Yet really against your will I something … — That's it, — Lena has severely interrupted, — for myself I and am afraid … We wandered across Moscow all night long. If to me who has told earlier, that I am capable on such, I only mockingly would sniff. However, here … Next day we have approached to DASu, proshlis-have walked along a crosspiece under columns, as hero Andrey Myagkov in "Twist of fate". I have tried once again, in last: — Lena, well though it is simple for five minutes we will glance — we will get warm, we will have a rest, you will look, as I live … — Vadichka, do not tempt, do not torment me! — with a smile, but Lena besides has seriously begged. — it is not necessary to hurry — at us all life ahead. Alas to me, alas! I have reconciled. I one have dropped in upward, have pleased with news Arkashu, have snipped off at it on loan still quarter, have put in a bag a large bottle of champagne and apples — the supplies by a holiday together, podnadel under a jacket a sweater, and the pullover has taken for Lena: to admit, at night we prodrogli very much — even kisses any more did not warm. To get warm we zaskakivali on stations. I have forced Lena podnadet my warm pullover under paltishko, and we were again let to be on the tramp. I, having reconciled, already with enthusiasm perceived such unusual and long appointment to the liked. I generously gave-showed it Moscow which itself proceeded already on foot up and down. Has definitively convinced Lena to throw the Lvov institute where it has arrived hasty on correspondence branch of journalism, and safely to be translated to Moscow … By an outcome of the second days all at us has mixed up in heads, as in the house Oblonsky. We wandered, laughed, stirred, kissed, dreamt, drank champagne, and I even cognac few times, ate pies, sandwiches and apples, have got on Alla Pugachevoj's concert to a hall "October", verses … Verses — and the, and other classics — nadeklamirovali-nachitali went for a drive on the underground and trams … And so many that on the whole library will suffice. Hours for five to the Sevastopol train all of us have not sustained and have overslept together — yes this will be excused to me involuntary and poshlovatyj a pun. We have found one free place in tolchee Kursk station, Lena has settled down at me in a lap, has embraced for a neck, I have clasped its native weightless body, have pressed is happy-serene unconsciousness hozjajski-is sweet to itself, and we unyrnuli in deep, heavy, but. I, having writhed in a rigid station armchair, pressed, sleepy, to myself very firmly sleeping beauty — the future wife. Ahead of us the happiness … waited Last minutes, on wet foggy platform, Lena, having cast away a head, zasmatrivaja in me, fondly and strictly recited-inspired to me well-known kochetkovskie lines: — With liked do not leave, With liked do not leave, With liked do not leave, All blood sprout in them. And every time for ever be excused, And every time for ever be excused, And every time for ever be excused, When leave for an instant … And every time for ever be excused, And every time for ever be excused, When leave for an instant … Here I write now, and all turns over in a breast: as I was happy! And — as I could be happy … <<<(P. 1) (P. 3)>>>
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© Rosedkin Sergey Nikolaevich, 2001
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