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- Sergey Rosedkin - |
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p r about z and |
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Main | News | Cut-away | fotobio | Prose | About Dostoevsky | J. Roberts | Humour | Non-fikshn | Criticism | Nude Teens |
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LJUPOF P. 19 |
4. A relaxation Has disappeared Domashnev not at once. However, mails to answer and to approach to phone it has ceased already on January, 7th. Its mobile phone "has at all died" also. However Darya Nikolaevna assured then, that its former spouse some more days, about a week, from time to time appeared at home, but each time in such kind, as to ask on what it was impossible. And the desire to ask was not. Acknowledgement to that Domashnev still lived week in this world and was in Baranove, two served absolutely silly, well simply idiotic mail which he in the end of this week has sent: one — nesushkinu; the second — Alina. The professor has congratulated the Boy-contender with podgadavshim birthday (it was executed to that eighteen): nesushkin@mail.ru, on January, 14th, 5-39 (Happy birthday!) Sergey, I congratulate you (on the rights as though the relative) happy birthday! With majority! In a gift to you, naturally, I give Alina: with all its parts of a body, sections and epidermisami. Own, you are an owner. The lucky person! Allow to you to live the God about my years and to be happy up to the end! Alexey Alekseevich Domashnev. To Alina the message was much more vastly, boltlivee, in addition to a mail voluminous enough file-trailer has been fastened: Latunkinoj, on January, 14th, 6-47 (For data and development …) Alina, I apply the curious text — your correspondence with a gopher. There there are comments in the brackets, made in the fat italics, — look more attentively. With the deepest respect! Alexey. P. S. That you, Alina Naumovna, did not approximate lovely and innocently expressive clever eyes, I will explain-will comment and in general all situation as a whole. I will try to make it even metaphorically (after all you at us the poet!): you drank from a well — let not for long, but with pleasure, and have then found somewhere a puddle (which, I do not argue, could seem to you and a spring — not in that an essence) and have started to drink from it, but thus coming back periodically for a satisfying of thirst and to a well. Both here before definitively and for ever to leave from a well to a puddle, you took, and not only in a well have spat, but also have celebrated the big and small need... And that you and after that did not trouble with a rounding off perfect (sic!) eyes, I will translate-will smear in prose: when we were together, you time and again and orally, and in writing confirmed-repeated with conviction and, it seemed (then) sincerely, that like me as the man (read — the lover), the person (person) and the writer. And here, as it has appeared, to the gopher and, possibly, to yourself you speak-are justified now, that you did not like me, and liked INVENTED me more correctly: that is, as you, most likely, explain supposedly as the lover it was — so-so, as the person — a full zero, well and, certainly, any not the writer, and ordinary and typical baranovsky grafoman... Yes, say, it is possible unless such to like?! Would like to bite "spasibom", yes it is impossible. And it is infinitely a pity to me, that you have fallen to such absolutely unfair and absolutely excessive muck. Believe, it is stronger zauvazhal than you and your love to it if you just were not ashamed of ours with you of love, and has underlined, what yes, for the sake of it you have stopped loving me though it seemed, that hotter and more strongly the love does not happen. And so — what to it pleasure and pride of that he has won rivalry with "impotent man", «a full pettiness» and «the primitive untalented person»... You will be absolutely right, asserting, that I am simply ridiculous. The most bitter, that I was ridiculous already on December, 29th — as soon as have touched you and, having forgotten about the age, the beginnings idiotski lybitsja and meanly to butter a sight... P. P. S. However, if this 17-year-old boy has managed to replace me IN EVERYTHING, means, I really full zero and a pettiness. Farewell. * * * Have missed Domashneva not at once. Darya Nikolaevna has decided, that the blagovernyj-traitor has got over on demountable apartment and floats there in the next deep hard drinking. At university till January, 12th there was novogodne-Christmas vacation, and then some more days of professor Domashneva especially did not search, assuming with grins and sarcastic snickers that is supposedly clear — again and again … Alina, naturally, has been offended in the best feelings Alexey Alekseevicha's by shpionstvom-peeping and its "fat" comments to its correspondence with Kolej. For example, the mail from December, 11th with comments Domashneva looked so: To mine the Ringlet, on December, 11th, 23-58 (the Declaration of love!) Kolenka! I — the happiest on light, because liked by you and living for the sake of and for the sake of you! You — my life, my destiny! (Oh as it is familiar!) today me as never pulled to you: the body has become bored of your touches, eyes — on your sights, lips — on kisses... Matryona — itself you know, on whom (all has yearned!!!). (Faugh!) I have completely sprouted in you, through you, in you... The Little man you my, native, be always nearby! Like! Wait! Call! Grieve! Dream! Whisper! Steal! Kiss! Embrace! Caress! Enter!. (Once again – faugh!) At night all I will be filled by you! We will meet in our dream! P. S. Thanks, that was not afraid today to execute mine predorgazmicheskuju the request — to REMAIN IN me UP TO THE END! Be not afraid, the kid, I speak — one more kid yet does not threaten us: at me tomorrow krantik will open … (Speech how it is possible to understand, goes what we Dymochka has decided to risk and not only with me without a condom trahnutsja … For process acceleration, whether that? Well and how — he has managed at least for half an hour to come to an end-cope?!) Your little girl. (That's it — the little girl). However Alina by the end of January nevertheless has overcome the insult, has seriously begun to worry. She even called few times to Darya Nikolaevne, but has only run into insults. Has phoned eventually and to sister Domashneva to Siberia, but only has alarmed gone Alexey Alekseevicha's relatives … Eventually, the university heads have addressed with an official statement in bodies about search of missing professor Domashneva, and the ex-spouse and the ex-mistress everyone independently friend from friends, have come to conclusion, that them the liked person at all is no time has torn with a former life and has got over, as time and again in loose days threatened, to friend Peter Antoshkinu in capital and lives there under an assumed name (that during our times of work does not make) or … Or, that's it, "or": Darya Nikolaevna even by kindness sincere, already later month three, at the next visiting of church has reserved, taking a sin on soul, sorokoust on the stray soul of the former husband of slave Divine Alexey … * * * Having handed over summer session and having gone with the Kolenkoj on the South (again in Gelendzhik), Alina Latunkina has left till the end of summer on practice in children's improving camp the tutor. She suggested to throw also Kohl for a while the market tea-coffee yes to be enlisted in camp at least by the worker of kitchen (here pokajfovali on the nature!), but Kolka the small market business, being afraid of a competition to leave has not dared. Well and the fool! Voleju a case in the same teenage camp fizrukom there was a senior lecturer with university sportfaka Dmitry Ivanovich Belgorodsky — quite garnyj the man of thirty years with something, left of a city, as was soon found out to digest family tragedy: from it the wife has left. Soon it became for Alina simply "Dmitry", then "Dimoj" and at last is simple — «mine Dimochkoj». Already in a heat of autumn and the novel they went somehow on the Central market. This Saturday day — — was on October, 15th awful: clouds have hung directly over heads, continually from them any mean drizzle which is blown off by a wind started to strew. But the mood at Alina was o-o th: it Dimochka has just picked up-has presented to it in jeweller wonderful gold ear rings in the form of hearts and a wedding ring zabugornogo the sample — with brilliantikom. A charm a gift to tryohmesjachnomu to anniversary of their relations! Alina, making the way after Dimochkoj through market crowd, continually on the move extended forward the right hand and admired a ring, and then touched that one, to other ear ring in ears. Ulyot! And here to it as if the sharp splinter in heart has stuck — someone's distinct voice through market bedlam: — Yes-a-a, twenty one year to it was only just executed … Has died! It has looked sideways and has sighed: on kafeshki-snack bar steps two drunk vagabonds with plastic glasses in paws sat, and in one of ugly creatures through a dirt and beards have grown have appeared to horror familiar lines … Domashnev! It has thrown up on it muddy eyes, too has shuddered and even has made attempt to jump, but the hand has slid off on a dirt. — Well you, the Professor, give! — the friend-companion has grinned. — every day on hundred times same! Think up that ponovej … Pjatnadtsatiletnie you did not like, and? Ha-ha-ha! — A smoke! — has called to her impatiently Dmitry. — well you lag behind? To us still meat on shish kebabs to buy it is necessary!. Alina has squeezed a teeth, has pressed hands to a breast and, having inclined a head, has passed … * * * Alexey Alekseevich Domashnev spent the sobered up sight Alina, wished to take a sip, but has noticed, that has crushed a glass. In a vial of "hawthorn Tincture» remains even more half. — Yes, she has died … — That, that? — The brother-drinking companion has not caught. The professor has not answered, has put a neck to lips and has slowly decanted a liquid to the bottom. Has come off, has screwed up very firmly tired eyes and has wiped a dirty sleeve of a jacket the appeared caustic tears … The chemist's rubbish was awfully strong. Epilogue from the author With Domashnevym (the surname, naturally, as well as all other heroes, it is changed) I am familiar, but is not close. So, greeted at meetings and all. And materials for this sad love story to me were passed-had presented by my companion and the colleague under the literature Peter Alyoshkin (in the novel it is mentioned as Peter Antoshkin). Domashnev really lived some time at it in Moscow after disappearance from Baranova (let and the city name remains secretly), much to it porasskazal in drunk frankness about the novel with student Alina, has left before parting and a diskette with love-mails and simply begged the friend-writer to write about it the novel. At it, under Peter's stories, it in obsession has turned. To see, very much it would like, that there was a monument of its love. Itself Alyoshkin the last some years work over a cycle of novels under the general name «Russian tragedy», already there were seven books, and it only half of epopee so to chamber, we will tell so, to lead about love at it hands ten would not reach as early as years. Yes besides Peter Fyodorovich well knows also me, and my creativity (as the publisher it published my first books, since then reads in the manuscript-listing everything, that leaves from under the keyboard of my computer). He has decided, that the material akkurat lays down to me at line. The pier, was at you "novel-confession" ("Drunk" — Moscow: the nuclear heating plant, 2000), left recently «the virtual novel» («I am am liked by Dzhulija Roberts» — Moscow: the Owl, 2005), is time to write-create and — "email-novel". Besides, he considers, that ispovedalnaja the frankness peculiar to mine especially and is underlined to realistic prose, is means, organic reception for creation of the real novelistic world, psychologically convincing motivation of actions of heroes. He also perfectly knows my creative credo: without «a soul striptease» the present realistic product you will not create. (Here by the way for the most stupid and dull I will add: Only it is not necessary to confuse realism to naturalism, painting with a photo, a feature film with a telecast «Behind glass» …) So, it has as a result turned out — "Ljupof". The reader has, of course, noticed-has understood, that jobs to me has got not too much. Electronic correspondence of two lovers in itself was built in a harmonous composition with an outset, the culmination and an outcome of the given novel (in both senses of this word). My problem consisted mainly in that from more than thousand mails to select for a narration only necessary (surprisingly, how much superfluous, naive and even the silly is written each other by enamoured people!) and to connect transitive central boards-bridges. To me even it was not necessary to edit mails — mistakes-typing errors only has corrected. This form — "email-novel" — in my opinion, already in itself assumes other-wordly frankness. I think, to the majority of readers and to decipher it is not necessary, but just in case I will explain, that in XX and the more so XIX century such product would be considered as "the epistolary novel». Ordinary, the world of two enamoured is the closed world. In general, the love is an egoism of a two. They have taken cover, fenced off in the love from all other world, from all people. The input is prohibited strangers! And ordinary, when the writer (as a rule — someone from this pair!) voleju, given to it Supreme, breaks a taboo and enters-invites extraneous (readers) into this isolated world, it builds "excursion", certainly, odnostoronne, prejudicedly, making comments on all proisshedshie in this world of two events from the belltower. As a rule, and epistolary novels sinned with it for creative reception was used only and the author, as in «New Eloize» Russo or «Poor people» Dostoevsky composed letters for both protagonists. In the novel "Ljupof" each of two heroes herself is responsible for itself, for the image, private world, as though creates itself, being realised, avtoportretirujas, confessing in the electronic letters. But thus, at frankness full, apparently, and an openness of the given (elektronno-epistolary) form in it there is a natural reticence, scantiness, punktirnost, that gives vent to imagination of the reader, awakes-urges on its ability to domyslivaniju, to coauthorship, dogadyvaniju … That original email-correspondence is put in a novel basis "Ljupof" — gives it such reliability and vitality. But here can arise also such ethical problem: and whether had Domashnev the right besides the mails to give OK to the publication and letters-mails of other person? Whether the author had the right, that is I, in general to use original correspondence of live real people in a work of art? What to tell … First, it is necessary to pay attention to original indulgences-epigraphs to the novel. Secondly, type maxims «At the writer each bast at line», «For the sake of a witty remark will not regret mother and the father» and other in the same spirit not yesterday have been thought up and without them not to manage in job of the creator-realist. And thirdly … However, to hell justifications: who would not like — let does not read! But should tell-underline nevertheless, as too frank scenes, and at times too "strong" words and expressions in the novel "Ljupof" (though I am chaste absolutely frank floor-mats has softened with the admission of letters and dots) — not the most important thing. The main thing, what is it the novel About LOVE. Whether can between people of different generations with an age difference in three ten years flash the present love? Whether there can be it happy? In what the love-passion — in love-tenderness or love-hatred turns, regenerates? Whether there can be a love "comfortable"? Whether who from a two is guilty and guilty, if the feeling dies? Whether it is possible to kill love? Whether it is possible to go through wreck of love and to continue to live-exist? What there is a treachery in love? Whether it is possible simultaneously and to like a two equally hot? Who object, and who the subject of change in a love triangle? Whether there are any obligations with the stopped loving person before that whom he has stopped loving? «I will like you to the death!» Is an oath or simply traditional words on duty? That, the love is a water water: the crane krutanul-has opened — has begun to flow, the crane has closed — has come to an end?. As it also is necessary in the literature, questions are put by the author. To search for answers to you, expensive reader. And not only in the book, but also having glanced after novel perusal "Ljupof" in own soul, during own life. Good luck! Yes, nearly has not forgotten! And how Alexey Alekseevich Domashnev? It has really returned to Rams. To Meet-see him it is possible usually in the Central market. Whether there is a chance it to rescue? Hardly. And here to help at a time, opohmelit — please. To learn it it is possible on a characteristic detail: unlike other vagabonds he drags the personal things not in a plastic package, and in a brown leather portfolio — professorial … Sergey NASEDKIN. |
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© Rosedkin Sergey Nikolaevich, 2001 |
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E-mail: emp-reports@fustercluck.com |
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