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LJUPOF P. 04 |
2. Koitus (2)
To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 8th, 20-16 (I Beg you …) Lyosha, the darling! Very much I ask you, write to me, that you like me and sometime will become really mine. I beg you. I go mad … I Cry already for fear to lose you. Without you I cannot live, you sense of my life. I always will be with you is my oath before the God and people. Even if the whole world will be against our union, I will struggle for you, for the right to be happy and to like. I so would like to be near to you the little girl — defenceless, pure, light … But if it is required, I will break off on a part of the one who will rise on a way. For happiness it is necessary to struggle. Also I will be … But should know, that nearby there will be your shoulder. I beg you, tell, what is it so, that your love to me will help to bear all … Cracked the Smoke. Aline, on February, 8th, 20-40 (All will be good!) Alina, For God's sake, do not become limp, do not give in, do not despair, not hljuzdi, be not depressed, do not cry, do not long, do not grieve, not depressiruj and in general — not, not, not and not … All at us with you will be good! I like you (believe!), you like me (I believe!) — that else is necessary to us? The rest — passing and small. We will go through! I admit, to me it is nasty enough from all these circumstances and annoying hindrances, but I know one: your love to me is such sudden, not deserved by me, stunning gift of Destiny, that other all not an essence important … We it is obligatory, give the God, we will be together! I am obligatory «sometime I will become really to yours»! (Only I do not understand: and now I — WHOSE?) I advise to you most to speak by at least to phone with Timoj and more time, but very distinctly to explain-din to it, that YOU DO NOT LIKE IT, that it is NOT NECESSARY to IT to be humiliated And KANJUCHIT YOUR LOVE, what is it NOT AS A REAL MAN. You should so convincingly to tell, that it not so much brains, how much HEART have believed to it and have realised, that it to you ANOTHER'S person. I too when time will come, will try as precisely to explain to the D. N, that at us from it ALL is terminated, that it is not present in my life, that I DO NOT LIKE it … Let it it will be severe, but other exit is not present … I kiss you! I Embrace! Strong-strong I press to myself! On the one hand, in vain we have started today this campaign on litvecher (as I would not like — as if had a presentiment it CHashkina!), with another — everything, that becomes, all, maybe, to the best … Here on this filosofemicheskoj to the note (borrowed at the Voltairian hero) while I am excused with you, native mine and razedinstvennaja the Smoke-dymochka. I will be in a network still approximately till 21-30, and then — I will lose consciousness. If still you will virtually give smacking kiss to me mejlikom — I will be happy. Alex. To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 8th, 21-21 (It is happy!) Has sighed freely! Thanks, my kitten! I Kiss-will kiss you. I adore! I do not know, what else verbs to pick up. And whether it is necessary? I am madly glad, that at all of us is remarkable! It is However, madly glad! The mood has started to rise on a thermometer of today. With Timoj already spoke. Everything, that you wrote — spoke already, probably, thousand times. And today has told, I do not know, whether has reached it though slightly. From all distinct he has told only one — that madly envies you and in general it has terrified from what I a sight looked at you. «Why, — speaks, — you so do not look at me?» Well it is fine, I have tried to talk to it easy. Give the God, will think-will change the mind at night and I not will understand, that it, it mine, I am happy with another … in general, Let it pass. I like you. Sleep easy, my kid. If I dream, be protected — I will rain kisses-zaljublju so, that paradise will press the cloudy ceiling. I like, I wait for you, my unique! Yours of the Smoke. Thanks you! Whole really, in a smoky way. At first an upper lip, then bottom … And then … (Itself you know — THAT!) To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 9th, 20-35 (Thirst of dialogue!) Hi once again, my beloved Aleksejushka! Today you were such the lassie. I sit now at home and I recollect you — the sad, gentle, lyrical hero of my novel. However, it would be desirable you to steal at all and, envying to itself to go with this invaluable theft to our nonexistent house (perhaps, unless in my imagination). To get drunk hot tea, zaburitsja under a blanket, to be twisted with lips-hands-bodies and simply to lay, be breathed-become impregnated the friend by the friend, by thoughts, sights, smells … not to look at the watch, be lost in time, to forget taste of just drunk tea — to be dissolved, forgotten, died-revive. So … Today I much wish to tell, show, prove to you sat opposite to chair in 8‑й audiences, we were divided dvuhstenchataja by separation, but was not minutes that I have not felt this intolerable magnetic torture. Me madly pulls to you (not only in that sense of which you have thought!) . Your part it will be eternal in me and mine in you too, I know — I quote myself (the truth, prehistoric, still douniversitetskogo the period). I wait for ours with you of a meeting, I dream, that no faculty individual prevented to be to us together, to touch to each other, to kiss, whisper, I apply on this list all other composed happiness. By the way, educate me when we are going to in our house. (Prepare, offers-explanations-lectures-lectures-bastings-helps now will follow!!! — a bus comment) do not think, that I anxious (at all is not present). And that you have told to me about my relation to sex is all a poppycock. I kinestet: for me it is important to FEEL the person (to see, hear, hold for a hand to smile …), instead of in literal sense to MERGE. In University I feel a vice of sensual censorship: I can not easy embrace you, observe of each your movement (and I wish to study you it is per second — you always such different, interesting, mysterious) to touch, kiss … Constant sensation, that second and … someone now will put a nose there where it is not necessary. (Here my lyrical reflexions break. — a bus comment) So, me brings, it is absolutely already cunning from a theme, has failed in the of indignation. The matter is that our plans should be co-ordinated, therefore I and ask, when it is planned tet-and-tet? That I have placed all affairs on day-hour regiments. I look forward to hearing also occurrence YOU on my screen-life. By the way, about sex … When you write-send-enter a mail, you slowly ENTER into me! Deliver me energetichesko-semantic orgazm! Ah, what I bjaka! Conscience: — Alina how it is not a shame to you where you slide?! I: — Ljupof … Your illogical, shizoidnaja, anxious (in sense enamoured) Alina (also cycloid on aktsentuatsii persons: the mood jumps from–10 to +10 within day). Whole. I wait. Aline, on February, 9th, 23-08 (Excuse!) Alinochka (Alinnnnnochka)! The letter from you … tasty, sweet, hot, fragrant and in general — remarkable and lovely. Thanks! Well and under the truth (and on krivde), you indulge me good words literally. And I, to your data, very much even suharist (from a word "cracker"). Even I admit: before here it to answer-write you — has seen-has read all mails which have arrived today and one even bystrenko has answered (painfully important today letters — on literary and university affairs) … the Old, dry, stale villain! Also it is not a shame to such to test ljupof to the young angellike girl??? I simply beg you: more cautiously with sex, is more correct — with reasonings on sex. We have agreed, that you constrained, completely not anxious and even in something the timid girl who at a word "sex" should potupljat eyes and roughly becomes crimson … And now — tsitatki from "Collector" Faulza, from records Mirandy: «And I precisely know, what should be my husband, it will be the person with intelligence, as at CH. V, only is much closer to me on age and with appearance which can like me …» «If at me as the Cinderella, had a magician-God … Please, make CH. V for twenty years is younger. And please, let it becomes outwardly little bit more attractive …» «I have thought, we look (with CH. V) as the father with the daughter …» «And during this moment it (CH. V) I have seemed to me much more youngly, than. It so not seems often to me absolutely young, I can understand, paternal it occurs …» As you understand, is read such with the enormous attention and razmyshlizmom … pokudova! TSaluju! (So Dostoevsky wrote to Anna Grigorevne in letters.) AND. AND. To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 10th, 22-05 (to the Most gentle for me …) My dear, lovely-premilyj little man! While went in the bus after our appointment, has understood, that itself I can not believe that YOU mine or can be mine. When I hurry to you, I do not hurry at all — I treat, I recollect-repeat-study each millimetre of your skin, I feel myself installed, infinite and final simultaneously but as soon as I achieve the object: here it you stand — such what was a second ago in my head, and … connection is interrupted: I am afraid, embarrass, hesitate of you … And all because I can not believe, that YOU mine! As such man can be mine, belong to me (the green cute puny person posing from the poetess, the scribbler, in general the person)!!!?? You do not believe, that I YOURS, but do not know, how I most of all am afraid of that you and will not let in me the life or, even worse, I by the nonsense will bungle something ridiculous and all I will spoil. If the way to you lays through rasstvorenie-germination-texture, I am ready to join the egoistical fourth group of blood yours and to accept a full ceremony of communicating by love through suppression of the "I" (the worst part — rebellious, whimsical, children's, painful). I so would like to give you all the best and near to you to be better! You farewell me sometimes that I too will be afraid of you. This fear also does not allow to me to be liberated completely — to obey to you. I am afraid to give and not to receive — and it means to die, dry up, as istonchajushchijsja during a drought a spring. I will give all myself and I will end, you will get drunk, will satisfy thirst and will go further on the course of life without me, and mine "I" then will already cease to exist. Tendernesses not dissipated at me a full warehouse of soul but if long-long to eat sweet — it becomes boring and begins a nausea (you remember, on Sartre). If I like very strongly you — whether I will bother you? Madly I am afraid of it! But for me the life is to give! So be going to liberate in any case sincere pockets, suitcases and other capacious accessories. Hold me, I have already poured down — is lazy, as kissel if I will overflow banks — accept it as the deserved bonus, for example, for not planned kiss, a smile, a kind word (suddenly even «I you l …» — am ciphered as if here a floor-mat) or still any display of tenderness. I wish to deserve your love! Vsenezhnost-Alinochka. Pleasant to you of the dreams, the liked my Alexey Alekseich! Whole everyone yours resnichku! I fall asleep only with thought on you! Aline, on February, 11th, 11-20 (You excuse me, the kid!.) Alina, we with you — two fools of steam. And very much we approach each other. Both we like to be engaged sincere onanizmom. Instead of being given to love recklessly and to enjoy love to each other. Fie on us, perverts! And in general, you excuse me, the kid, that I absolutely not such what you have imagined me also what you expect to see. (In heading-theme of the letter I pesennuju have written a line this absolutely from other reasons: to be sorry for the yesterday's mood, yes here has pulled on generalisations, filosofemy!) And once again I wish you to make sober: with me — it is difficult. I am a villain. I am an egoist. I am a tired old man. Would see you me yesterday when I stood under a wind and any rubbish falling from the sky, at a stop already 50 (fifty!) minutes after your district, and all transport rubbish went only towards Northern area … As well, that you were not a number! You precisely would begin to cry … And — what for to you it?! You the GODDESS … However, all — allow to turn to NORMAL people and to like to (THINK) without dislocations, hysterics and modernizmov: gently, with advantage (?!), it is careful and polite (???!), I wished to tell — is precautionary … Well — has piled! I am excused. Remember, in whatever I was nasty mood, as though I scoffed at you (and self!) during other moments, I will soon cool down, I will regain consciousness, will change, to a camp former and I will be sorry. Suffer sometimes! Wait. Whole, whole, whole — it is gentle, as soon as I can! I. To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 11th, 20-09 (to You all I excuse …) Lyoshechka, the sun you mine! As I madly wished you to see today and have seen! I think, I will go to University — I will look, I will communicate, I will caress my falling ill! And you so long did not come. Almost five hours of expectations cost that, I thought much, have changed the mind — you occupy all my thoughts, imaginations, desires … I Want and I will like you, to wait for our meetings! With you (in our paradise) I am treated, lick wounds of the life, that on that party of our love vacuum. Each time after our meetings to come back to the earth so it would not be desirable, but warms thought that there will be still a meeting, and at faculty, give the God, we will meet, will touch. After all each your touch — a gift, a fairy tale. In your embraces to live I want: they — my paradise, my monastery (just has almost composed verses!) it is valid, when language pozvonochnyj backs feels your hands (lips!!!), I turn to infinity. My darling, I like you! I — your captured, and you — the most sweet captivity! I undertake to be yours in all: in trifles, in the main thing … I Will try very much because I WISH to be with you and only with you. I YOURS — you should understand it and believe! Anybody is not necessary to me, except you!!! I waited for you all life, and the destiny nevertheless has presented to me on December, 29th the happy ticket! P. S. Thoughts after conversation. I am afraid is means I am lost: the uttermost fermentation in brains, I spread in your hands, kisses, embraces, as snow in forty-degree heat. I forget that it is necessary to wash hands, cups to attempt in general — I look at you and I do not see anything around. There are only two points — you, I and a connecting line between us. I go to our HOUSE, I think that now I will embrace you strong-strong, I will tell directly from a threshold: « Liked mine as I long waited for this second when I will see you … »And here a call, lock click, you open a door, and … I fail in emptiness, I am turned inside out. Here it — display of a complex of the deceived expectation: when you wait for that so for certain and will not occur, under all laws should not occur. And you, opening a door, see before yourself the little girl shy going to you, as on examination. And, as always, I ruin it. I am afraid of you because I any more do not belong to myself, you — my founder-sculptor, and mould you sometimes roughly-gently, creatively and talently. But me it is sick, I allow to do to you painfully, and then as the beaten dog I come back home. And with happiness-pain to crying, I write letters, I speak in love to the person who, maybe, at all and does not like me, and drinks me, yet will not satisfy thirst. And I allow both to drink, and to torment, and to kiss … I Am afraid of you in me — sticking out of my thin, gentle sincere skin, you tear me from within, from it all burns. And do I can nothing, after all I like you to madness. To such madness which you do not guess at all, I try to hide it, as the approximated heroine of your story — the tummy. I want, that you saw me beautiful, blossoming, instead of suffering, pining in the thoughts-webs on you. Every second you build me and break, when will want — for this purpose you should lift only a telephone tube and to tell: «Good morning!» And I have broken, turned out, I have thawn … I am afraid of you because for certain I know — now again will break! And you break, when already having completed, and when and halfway to last floor! I live in a constant lomke. Whether I will sustain? If is not present, me expects — drowsiness, the uttermost chaos at faculty, houses, I will lose-will lose the remained friends, I will begin to go stark naked, probably, on the house, I will cease to clean a teeth! All the same, nachhat, there is no place to fall more low: a limit — a bottom. In general, I will already go as the vampire who is afraid of light, and to ask you to hammer to me aspen kol directly into heart! To Ask-be humiliated, that you have told, have gained strength and admitted, that do not like and are not going to to be-live with me. For now I break and still I amuse myself thought that you like, think, dream … Well here, has again broken! And more time! And more! Still … Kap-kap-kap. I like you, break, if it is necessary, a system if it is necessary! Only do not leave! You can even on mine «I you I like …» to answer: «And I — was not present!» After all all the same — I will swallow, poperhnus, but I will digest! Badly is when you are not present! It is better to break, than indifferently to observe! Come and break me! I so want, because I like infinitely! If it is sick — means I live! Whole it is infinite!!! Yours Alinochka. Aline, on February, 11th, 23-55 (Good night!) Alina, the babe washing, good night! Infinite thanks for the letter!!! Read and arose sensation, that we in embraces each other and kiss … Sleep, native! Dream me! I kiss you! Alyosha. To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 12th, 21-12 (Almost valentinka) Pretty, my sun, month clear … in general, the most desired, liked, road! I kiss you strong-strong. Poor, you have got tired, probably, and in the Internet of time are not present to glance! I put a head to you on a shoulder, suddenly will help! By the way, I too in some zaparke: it is necessary to finish urgently article in our faculty factory newspaper. By the way — the leading article by Day of St. Valentine. But, even working, I continuously think of you. More correctly, job and you have merged. (That did not guess, about what speech, in a postscript I will put the reduced variant of the razmyshlizmov — the essence from this article.) In thoughts one Lyoshechka — Unique Sacred, is more exact the monarch, is boundless dominating in my heart. I hope, when you will a little unload, you will see in the box my virtual trace — the small message, and you will smile. I send together with it the ardent greetings and prebolshushchy a juicy kiss — lips to lips, soul in soul! My lips — love mail, a kiss — the letter, the addressee — you, you and only you! Keep itself! I for you worry! Your health is not necessary all this turmoil! I miss! I wait! Whole at first in one cheek, then in another, in ladoshki, a neck, in sponges … I Rain kisses on you! Alina D infinitely betrayed to you (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Sounds, and?! P. S. By the way, your story «soul Execution» madly is pleasant to me: it on me! I am proud and admire with you — as with the man, the person and, certainly, the writer! To the last I envy black envy! And the person — the has more! In general, I like you everyone! Yours Alinuska. P. R S. Promised: AS I LIKE YOU! Souls meet on lips enamoured. I know it precisely because — I LIKE! I simply in a mad way like the most perfect man on light — the man with eyes-agate … Love … the Universe which has gone in all in six bukovkah of Russian alphabet, and this soft sign a-perfect rose of eternity. The love is the poetry inspiring, carrying away in the world where all breathes verses. The enamoured person comprehends new philosophy of dialogue — speaks glazayomi, gestures, touches … Ah as my man is able to embrace gently!. «I like you!» — three words for the sake of which stoyoit to live, suffer, die, revive. Love … LOVE … Love … Love … love … the Sweet word with smack of a persimmon. Cynics assert, that the love is only chemical processes in an organism which I provoke sexual excitation and only. And physicians, here umora, in general have thought up, as if there is a love virus, kotoyoryj lives in an organism no more than three years. Du-ra! I, for example, precisely know, that I will like the man with eyes-agate all life, to the death, always and infinitely … the Meeting with it — the main thing, what's happened in my life, and I so am happy! And in general, true ljuyobov does not demand oaths and proofs. The main thing, speaking a hackneyed phrase «I you ljubyolju!» — sincerely to look in the face, sending these words directly in soul mail-kiss, after all souls meet on lips enamoured! By the way, about mail — do not forget to send to the beloved valentinki! I liked already have prepared-has written: ah, what there words-recognitions! After all I so like it — more lives! Depression, fear, loneliness — all is dissolved in love, in it tainstyove souls and bodies. I at last have tested it! And consequently it is ready to shout for the whole world: as I like you! Enamoured Alina LATUNKINA. Aline, on February, 12th, 23-08 (Has coaxed!) Well, Alinushka, has done an ill turn! Has coaxed! Has poured a thick layer of balm my ambitious pisdushu (it has turned out almost abusively, and I meant — a literary soul)! At you from heart (is, it appears, heart!) kind words were pulled out … Spasibochki, my happiness! I and itself very much appreciate «soul Execution». In a word, has coaxed. I promise for it obtselovat you from pjatochek to … More shortly, on a place we will understand! Whole and now — vzasos (on the screen of the monitor the trace remained!) Alyosha. P. S. Your leading article-recognition — a class! Thanks for fearlessness! To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 14th, 23-13 (Thanks for all!) Day celebratory has passed today remarkably (it is tasty and attempted, natselovalis-namilovalis much, had a good long talk and namolchalis), it is productive (much have about each other learnt), it is beautiful (thanks for magnificent roses, they and now remember us — there, in our house) … in general, is grateful to you for all! First of all I thank destiny for you! Though to me too followed, as well as you to complain of the «captured zhituhu», but today not that day! And in general will suffice to whine! While a situation such what to eat, complain I I have no right (the captured do not ask)! I like you one! You hear — is grateful to YOU FOR EACH SECOND SPENT With YOU! Captured the Smoke. Aline, on February, 15th, 15-07 (Why???!) Alina, you also do not wish to communicate today with me — why it??? Sadly. Alexey. To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 16th, 8-18 (Excuse!) Excuse!!! At me yesterday was «bannyj day». It I so name sincere onanizm. You also have called yesterday at the o'clock, when I in a bathroom tears (even sobbed — here, silly!) yes hot vodichkoj had a shower bath. It is interesting, as I in general talked — after all was, as it has gone sounds, «a condition nestojanija». In the evening I have expressed it in a small poem: Throats a megaphone melancholy provachen, The sight slezoju is stuck together by the foggy — It I somewhere silently cry, prichashchajus, myself I regret. It would be desirable sometimes itself to regret, you understand? My seal! You excuse me, zasranku (and for this word excuse)! Simply I very strongly like you, and you — not free and I! Therefore klinit! Whole-peretselovyvaju. Smoke. To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 16th, 21-55 (I Dream …) Good evening, a seal you mine! Now to be stretched with you on a sofa and to be engaged in something pleasant, for example, to look together «to Kill Bill» or to listen to music … It agree? You now dream about something? Alinka. Aline, on February, 16th, 22-51 (And a yak …) Hi, the Cat (it I greet YOU, not with Matryonoj)! And a yak!. I Dream. All the same, only instead of «to Kill Bill» — itself you know THAT … Alex. To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 17th, 22-04 (Whisper …) The darling my, sad my, lyrical hero! Called? Why has not called back? You of the Smoke very much would like to hear your rustle-voice. And about what Alex Domashnev wished to whisper to me naisladchajshy?. Your girl. P. S. Winter. White snow-souffle. The carpet of the silk sky is unrolled in infinity. The road is varnished February. A kiss expiring by tenderness — the snowflake has thawn on a cheek. Still a kiss, still, still … the Skin barhatitsja from an exciting winter moisture. … And my thawing heart in embraces-snowdrifts … It thaws on a frost from your love … Aline, on February, 17th, 22-52 (Puncture) Alina, called with one purpose: to tell-warn, that I go from University on foot that you in 10 minutes have jumped out for a minute of the house, I on the move gently would kiss you and have gone, encouraged, further … it was beautiful is conceived, but … Someone was in a bathroom or still where, and focus is not has gone right … Eh you! (I joke, certainly.) Alexey. To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 17th, 23-16 (YO-May — I do not know how it is written …) Now heart will be broken off! Lyoshenka my, expensive-razedinstvennyj! Everything, a wound deadly — is direct in heart! Never to myself I will excuse this devil's water travel! I kiss you letters-signs-dots … Excuse the silly woman! Your Alina, which in a miss. Aline, on February, 17th, 23-53 (YO) Alina, lovely! Smart guy … (it is fine, well — golubitsa!) YO — it is written so. About pomyvke do not regret — to wash it is necessary. If you admit and will swear, what in a bathroom something thought of me and even ferial (??!!), well — I will excuse and even I will approve, for not so corporal contact, as spiritual, my daughter is important! (It I in a role padre, instead of daddy — do not mix!) Alexey (I subscribe as promised, it is strict and without ekivokov). To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 17th, 23-58 (Oooooo!!!!!!!) It is guilty, padre! In thoughts I have loved the Alexey both spiritually, and corporally for it for me both my paradise, and my hell, and I, to admit fairly, I wish to be both sacred, and vicious! I like its love intolerably sweet … Dream to you of the most sweet, gentle, it is final with me in a leading role! I will show to you, that such the present fairy tale. In general, itself already I yawn, and the bed calls the tsvetastym language — appetite night anticipates. You too, the darling, come to me into a dream. At first I to you, and then you to me. But I will not release you! I will plant in a cage-dungeon of the memory. Together we will indulge there in love … So, if I will continue, you, probably, easy precisely will not fall asleep! And I … Though I about you dream every second! See you, my beloved! Pleasant dreams! I always with you! I sail away in our dream! And you be not late! Your Alina. To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 18th, 21-39 (J) The tummy is untied — krantik will soon open! YES, really, well we live! In a shower — May, birdies sing. If not a stomach — there would be a full sensation of freedom and ease! AleksejushkA you mine! You know, of what I have now thought — we yet did not eat together ice-cream (And you already spoke about him twice — imagination provoked). GIVE on Saturday (or Sunday) we will buy the whole bucket and we will thaw together. FRETS? And in general, thanks for evening, you were such darling, gentle, careful, And I (despite a woodpecker in a head) — happy! You though understand, that do me happy!!! I recollect now you in our house, especially on photos where you mine, but such native and this participation in your last life does me even more happily! I HOPE, tomorrow we will meet, if you will decide to walk to University together — warn. I like, So, I live! Liking and hardy AlinA. Whole-measure lips, eyes, hands and everything, than probably. P. S. A letter counter: in each letter "And" — my kiss: catch!!! In total — 62 kisses-shots. Attention! You are mortally wounded directly in heart! Aline, on February, 18th, 23-12 (Well and And!) Alina, thanks, rodnulja, for kisses - "And"! I inform, that tomorrow I will at faculty possibly all the day, therefore — reserve: what yoghurt to you to buy for a dinner (or what another)? Houses were sustained by pressure, but — has won … AND. AND. To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 19th, 21-59 (Thoughts aloud — in four parts) Kind night, my miracle! 1. Tomorrow I will think all the day of you. And today — to fall asleep with thought-memoirs as you kiss me … in general, both today, and tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, that is every day in unlimited degree, on the agenda — you, in the main menu — you, in my life — you. 2. At you it is simple the most charming smile, I close eyes and I see, how you laugh … And I smile to you. I ask you, shine to me always! Not that «my camomiles without the sun of your tulips» will wither. I already myself liked quote-interpret it — though in the given context these lines are perceived a little poshlovato: camomiles, tulips, … stamens, pestles … Vaski, Matryony … So, I turn off somewhere not there! Do not think, that I turned on this theme, simply sometimes it would be desirable you to pinch, that you have relaxed, has distracted (from «red terror» — D. N), read my lines ABOUT IT and smiled (mentally saying firmenno-serious «Alina!»). To encourage you it would be desirable! And words "suksualno-eroticheskaga" character help me with it. 3. You know, how I was glad to see, meet you tonight — at a stop! It is madly glad! Has presented, that then I will sometime wait for you here so, only already home, in our HOUSE! Eh, dreams! 4. I Wait-prezhdu for you, your voice … Everything, that is connected with you! I Measure-heat all mine Lyoshenku by lips. I like you! I love you! Je t ` aime!. If to concentrate my superfeeling — pereljublivaju: that is I like with a prefix "very much-very"! J.Golubchik. Aline, on February, 19th, 23-36 (I go mad!) Everything, ONE zahrapeli behind me. And before minutes 20 vozjukalis-crept-changed clothes and so forth, looking through my shoulder on the monitor … The god from it! Here another torments … However, you I will not afflict! Is better I will tell to you deeply experienced, thought over and vykristallizovannoe: I, probably (?!), I should think of you. And it already illness. It is a pathology. It is sweet, but umopomrachenie … it it is possible to express All more shortly: it is not excluded, that I DESCEND ON YOU From MIND! And good in it, probably, anything is not present. Ehma! I-i-ieh! O-ho-ho! Uh-hu-hu! (As still a sigh graphically to represent — I do not know!) About "Matryon" and "Vasek" jokes pre-kra-tit!!! «Not removed excitation is fraught with unpleasant consequences!.» (Priap). Still, my smart guy, you can answer this pisulku (??!) till 23-45, yes then — we will say goodbye to zavtreva. Alexis. To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 19th, 23-44 (Night) I adore you!!! To answer-ask (about that torments) time, probably, already is not present. By phone tomorrow morning we will communicate — ugu? I like, I like and too I go mad! Whole. Good night, my darling! Yours Alinochka. To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 20th, 22-26 (I Breathe and I do not breathe) My pleasure-grief! Evening today in an especial way lyrical, your stories, whether that, grief-spleen of thought envelop — I do not know?! The lyric poet in you, undoubtedly, is revolted-is pulled out — a native soul! From "Asthma" the hopelessness any pressing heart is drilled … Yes-and-a-a … with all our perfect terrible life — asfiksija … Itself will not have time to be suffocated — the life will suffocate! It seems, my thermometer of mood makes the next sinusoid! As I would like you, my darling, now to embrace! To feel heat of your palms and to overcome an asthma — again to learn to breathe, breathe in a new fashion! I will wait tomorrow for this instant for now I do not breathe … to Like, the truth any asfiksija, will not study, and here to breathe … I like. I miss. I philosophise. Learn to breathe, without you — death, emptiness. Yours of the Smoke. P. S. Time air has lost the address of my lungs — so kisses I will begin to breathe. Whole. Whole. Whole. Whole. Here also has begun to breathe! Aline, on February, 20th, 23-11 (I Like — I breathe …) Native mine of the Smoke, I wish seriously and to warn last time: for such letters-mails as it — I am ready to rain kisses on you and I will rain kisses at the first possibility to umopomrachenija … Your or my, or both at once! Thanks, my girl! I, of course, too whole and now (mentally) also think of a tomorrow's meeting (give the God!). While farewell! Something I rassjusjukalsja, and it is bad, wrong, not (as you, young, are expressed) klyovo … Monster. To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 20th, 23-18 (Has begun to breathe!) Nights kind I, hope, I will have time to wish you! Dreams to you the most smoky! I like you! All the rest I will tell tomorrow (how I adore you, I I idolise as you are necessary to me). Whole, mine Lyoshechka! I. Aline, on February, 20th, 23-26 (do not distract!) Alina, I will be in an aether (more correctly, I I will leave at last at 0-30), so, if you you you you you will want something awfully important (nezhnoe, laskavae, vazbuzhdajushchae!!!) to write — write. For now do not distract — read GOOD prose … The unworthy. To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 21st, 0-08 (Long-languid-gentle-tender …) Lyoshechka-Lyoshenka! At night when the moon turns out me all inside out, I write-give to you the most secret lines! You in my life have appeared not casually, for it to destiny simply vastest thanks! Why it is not casual — because I had a presentiment, that there will be a person to whom I will give myself without the rest, «all — to gramme» (my poetic citation). As though in air already there was this stupefying smack: smack of your kiss — honey, bottomless. And I lived, as in a fog as if the organism worried the incubatory period — a certain prelove. And here in University there was you is a man whom I have noticed at once (!) and (you remember?) has too loudly greeted, on what you have uncertainly answered: "Zdraste", — measuring me an estimating sight. And when I at one familiar senior lecturer (I will not tell to you — who it) have asked: «What is this the man?» — he has answered: « Domashnev — new zavkafedroj literatures and the writer. You with it be cautious, he to zhenskaga a floor … Somehow even admitted to me, that supposedly terrible I the ladies' man (yes-yes it is words of that senior lecturer)! »And I have thought:« Yes-a-a, the passionate man, also is in him any especial grief and magnetic charm ». And then it is interview — eyes in eyes. And soon — the first touch, as a current, raked me to the stones. Well and further, you know all itself. And more — your creative evening, and my pride, happiness for you, the person who for some reason seemed such native! In general, gentle my elect, the promised, unique my man! Any atmospheric and occult interventions here and! Simply I LIKE you also it not love any, not a dope-sorcery! I will not give you to anybody (terribly to admit, but I the owner!). I will like you, staratsja-make an effort to make you happy, I will become the girl-woman, the mistress, soratnitsej, the adherent, a muse, the friend, the wife, the goddess, the slave … — whom only you will want! I am happy, when you are happy! Gently-gently I nestle on you everyone bukovkoj! Believe me, be-become mine, and we together will create-will construct-will render habitable with you the small world where there is only you and I! You want? I agree!!! Liked-razljubimyj! If you are present at my sincere sorts (which have passed safely, without excesses) already at 0-30 I, probably, already lay in a bed with switched off light and I think of you, I am not given still to the lover-dream, I wish nadumatsja-be sated with you that the dream — light and warm where we together and a life perfect (instead of terrible as in a reality) has dreamt me. Thirst with utretsa to read your answer to my letter-confession. As soon as I will wake up — I will leave in the Internet, and, I hope, the good mood will be increased at least twice! I like you, my smart guy! With kisses you I wrap up. Sleep, the sun! I nearby, always nearby. Your Alinochka-warbler-dymochka … To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 21st, 21-51 (I Dream of you, I think of us) Lyosha, day and evening were simply delightful! With you nearby I blossom, I live, I create, I learn … My room to me have seemed now such cosy — to my, native, small Universe. As though I wanted, that this sensation warmed me during the moments when grief-melancholy draw lungs a plait of a hopelessness, misunderstandings. The most terrible loneliness — loneliness among the people, especially close people. From a room they go to a room, talk about something, drink tea, laugh, and you — out of this pleasant vanity, think of the, live other life and vivacity, that round you — is dead, mute, imperceptible. Here so I sat now in a hall: parents about something balakajut, try to involve me in conversation, and I zavisla at other level where to me it is good, warmly where me pulls, calls — To YOU!!! When this division will be braided in one strong plait-line — our GENERAL with you a life then there will be no other levels, lags … Going with job, I will know, that somewhere I am am waited by my Earth, my islet of happiness-cosiness. This thought I both live now. Also I want, that you lived. If we do not meet today at the Internet crossroads — I wish you pleasant dreams! I dream of you, I think of us … That it was slept more strong-is more sweet — accept my kiss for the night as it is necessary, in triplicate! Alina. Your present wife. Aline, on February, 21st, 23-42 (Here it — I!) alinus, I — tuta! Has hardly come off from Faulza to absorb (faugh, well and a syllable!) here this yours pismetso (one more faugh!). Good, I will write to a postphysiognomy: thanks, the girl, on a kind word, has consoled, has indulged! And all taki I do not approve, that from the native you are fenced off, hostility to them you sharpen the heart (it absolutely what the hell for lexicon popyorla — excuse!). Good, the pigeon washing if quite seriously, you do me more and more happy. You force me to be I Will be better, purer, more worthy … to try to correspond. I swear! Write me still pair of hot lines and — we will say goodbye see you tomorrow, well? Whole strong-strong — before breath interception! AND. To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 21st, 23-51 (About important) I like parents, but is lonely at home, as if it not the house to me at all. Good, give about the lyric poet — day today you have presented to me really the lyrical! Thanks! I fall in love with you more and more — and in the writer too! In general, I will very soon swallow you in the stomach-reason (you are already swallowed by heart), and … kranty! It is necessary to you to marry me! The whole. I adore. Answer that-nt! The wife. (So now has decided to subscribe.) Aline, on February, 22nd, 0-18 (About the superimportant!!!) Alina, native washing, lovely and beloved! It is not necessary to subscribe "wife". Better — "you" or — "unique" … And is even better — Alina or the Smoke. It very much is pleasant to me! "Wife" — the HEAVY word. And at me (has forgotten?) the is formal-official wife as though is … You me understand? This my opinion. Do not take in head to take offence! Certainly, you can subscribe — as you want. To me the main thing — that wrote SUCH letters WHAT you write … Still I will wait the answer and — to sleep. I die of desire to sleep. (You remember, I already THERE zadryomyval?) It, apparently, is called an avitaminosis and EXCESSIVE loadings … AND. To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 22nd, 0-26 (it is fine, well) Good, "wife" I refuse (was lost in day-dreams!) your surname too I refuse. In general, from everything, that is not pleasant to you, except, certainly, YOU! Dreams to you, the darling, the most sweet, tasty, high-calorie … Tomorrow I wait any yes for greetings from you! In total!!! Obtselovyvaju (now I will raise a howl — u-u-u-u …) Simply I. Lyoshenke, on February, 22nd, 23-51 It (is a shame) to mine Good night, Lyosha! I like. Sadly and toshno (not literally!) it is simple «to opupenija» And you, in my opinion, has become angry. Excuse me, that: 1) such small for you, 2) I behave disgustingly (most oppositely), 3) that I spoil to you a life … As today proshchyonoe Sunday! The whole. Excuse me, please. Kap-kap-kap … Alina. To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 23rd, 20-41 (E-e-eh!!!) Liked mine! The first lines of the letter I admit to you more and more time — WITHOUT YOU I DO NOT REPRESENT the LIFE!!! Alexey Alekseevich, pleasure you my beloved, a god-send, I wait I will not wait, when I will see you. As it is healthy, that we study-is worked in one building and I can see you almost every day! In general, give the God, we will embrace-will kiss each other tomorrow in the House of knowledge (as the University my girlfriend Lenka ironically names). Lyosha, do not yawn from my style-bore, write me something such is better, that it is possible to drink greedily — instead of tea. Your beloved. Aline, on February, 23rd, 22-20 (do not long!) Alinka, I feel — you long! I do not understand you. Were together today? Were! Have not quarrelled? No! It was good to us? Like — yes! (?) Will be ahead of a meeting? Undoubtedly! You think of me now? Possibly — yes! I think of you? You ask!!! Well, that still it is necessary to us??? That to long??!! You give a holiday on a shower and in other parts of a body (bodies)! Above a nose, washing light pleasure! Like me as I you, and all will be ofigenno! Whole in cheeks, a nose, lips, shoulders, elbows, a tummy and … In a word, whole! Optimist Lyosha. To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 23rd, 22-28 (All is remarkable!!!) Lyosha, Lyoshechka, Aleksejushka, you that, do not understand, that grief light, naisvetlejshaja!!! Simply sometimes I would like you to embrace, give smacking kiss, whisper … And I wait for this instant as fresh air is waited by packed lungs, — therefore is sad, that you and are at me, and are not present simultaneously! All is simply remarkable! I like you. I will like tomorrow even more strongly. Yours Alinka. Aline, on February, 23rd, 22-45 (Voprosiki) Alina, at me to you voprosiki — tiny, with short moustaches: 1) What for you from a computer (Outlook’a) send besides the basic letter also a copy? Ne nada! This lyshnee. 2) Why you will like it tomorrow more strongly, than today? It that for division-division of love on yesterday's, today's, tomorrow's?. Do not confuse our relations, is more correct — do not confuse! Love — ONE-RAZEDINSTVENNAJA, only for two. Here to you filosofemochka — consider! J. Faulz. To mine Lyoshenke, on February, 23rd, 23-07 (Otvetiki) Seal! 1) Prompt, where these copies to disconnect! 2) I will like Tomorrow it is necessary more strongly because I will madly become bored and will spill directly in your office (probably then me floors to wash! Hm-m-m …) For now not dissipated tenderness kopitsja-pines. Though, probably, to me poorly to forget about all this faculty, to send all … and to rain kisses-zaobnimat on you! However, never speak never. My feeling to you is multiplied-grows — as a result will make a hole in the sky, and I will turn to a love net energy — dao Love! (It I filosofemstvuju!) Perhaps I chyo not fence that, and? Yours Alinka. |
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© Rosedkin Sergey Nikolaevich, 2001 |
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E-mail: emp-reports@fustercluck.com |
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