- Sergey Rosedkin -
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ME LIKES DZHULIJA ROBERTS Glik 16	Glik the sixteenth All of us live imagination. Even the latest moron, any oligofren from crowd lives-lives in the world imagined by it. I now speak, naturally, about idealism philosophy — let Platon and Gegel have a rest; I speak for a life. The person imagines, that guzzles sausage of the premium from beef on 100 roubles for a kilogramme, and actually … Well what there to speak — only appetite to spoil! However, the dog sausage or false coffee at the price of the presents is a trifle. And after all many of us sincerely believe-imagine, for example, that the person is born for happiness as, whether see, a bird for flight; or, the person to the person — the friend, a companion and (here umora is purer than that supposedly!) The brother … Yes what there to speak! Is after all much still gomo, apparently, sapienses who sincerely think-imagine, as if at them, indeed, there is family — parents-children, brothers-sisters, husbands-wives, uncles-aunts and under the register … Well and, certainly-is final, are especially ridiculous further the naive dreamers-idealists imagining that have found the notorious half, that they like and are liked, that their joint poor kuvyrkanija in beds, campaigns on a visit to relatives on days off and evening sitting at a telebox is and there is a love … Where it I?. In a word, I wish to affect-admit, that I had a rest not long. Akkurat on 6th March of this year (such mystical coincidence-musters of dates and events are always significant and raise improbably!) rovnyohonko for biennial anniversary of our acquaintance with Dzhuliej, I have received-has got one for another two information which have stunned me, have amazed, have shaken and have directly forced to pass, at last, from boyish dreams to action. And here, besides, as well as in a case with the first viewing of "Beauty" as with "Miracle field" and it haljavnym the computer — as if who has pushed me under lokotok: after all I hate this smelly «the Moscow member of the Komsomol», and here in a "Rospechat" booth as specially, "Members of the Komsomol" do not happen, "VK" («Evening club»), local «Cities on Studentse», another more less normal newspaper, and I just was going to pivka not hurrying up to have a drink in pivbare (houses melancholy and Anna Ioannovna completely already zagryzli), and to have a drink on a habit yes economy for the sake of not under a shrimp or a small fish, and — under the press. It was necessary to take another "VK" («the Smelly member of the Komsomol») and «Baranovsky time». In central gazetyonke, however, half of volume was occupied too with regional local release. There a certain Olga Zljuchkina-Vrednjuchkina (for one pseudonym хрéнову, heading a local correspondent's office, it is not enough to flog and unpick this maid, the journalist!) has made the review-selection of main events Baranova for a week. Those happens five: 1) the drunk vagabond has stolen a potato bag from private garage, 2) the drunk vagabond has plundered a beer lump, 3) the sick vagabond has bitten the old woman, 4) the vagabond who has ungirdled true suited a striptease in broad daylight at a monument to Lenin, 5) city vagabonds namereny to create new party under the name — Party without the real estate … Fie, I also did not know, that "MK" — have turned to the newspaper only about vagabonds and for vagabonds. Probably, it just also was going to to become the publication of this new political force, on number, podi, surpassing party of rich men and swindlers — the Union of the right forces. «Baranovsky time», however, at browsing has appeared even more nasty: at this gazetyonki even at level of registration as professionalism did not smell. And still subscription advertising by regional radio every day doldonit, ostensibly, in «Baranovsky of time» the best journalists work! These dolbannye «the best journalists» led by the gryobanoj «the best redaktorshej» even the nobility do not know to what learn, possibly, on the first course of journalism faculty: the inverted text (a white font on a black background) tyres sight in nine and a half times more strongly, so people with the weakened sight (and such at us — 93 percent!) instinctively it avoid. And in this foolish «Baranovsky of time» from continuous black pages in eyes darkens … Well lines with them! I not about that, I that at first in "MK" the invaluable note for me was found out among a peel, tiny such zametulechka. I at first have run it obliquely eyes and hardly was have not passed by consciousness, but words "virtual" and "computer" have hooked on me, have forced to strain attention. And — thanks God! Modern information technologies have allowed to create a so-called virtual (imaginary) reality: the person, having put on a special audiovisual helmet, as though in reality appears inside «computer space». All it has brought considerable turmoil in minds of philosophers: the most fantastic illusory worlds find now material properties as are capable not only to be displayed by our sense organs, but also to exist irrespective of them. The western firms already with might and main sell equipment for «virtual sex». The computer program and a suit with genitalnymi and the other gauges simulating tactile sensations, allow to go through love affair with any movie star (still live or died) on a choice. It is easy to present, what thoughts zaklubilis in my head as the imagination zagalopirovalo-was swept up in close fetters of realistic thinking. I vyhlebal large drinks warm beer, have asked two guys sitting with me behind a table, postorozhit a place, have run to a rack, bystrenko have bought two more mugs — it was necessary not hurrying up both seriously to dream up. And here (here the Divine craft!) I have solved from already seen swarthy "BV" to pull out page, to get wet the beer splashed on a table-top, and the large white heading has rushed to eyes to me on a black background — «the Virtual world — beautifully, but it is terrible». Having forgotten instantly about a beer pool under elbows, about beer and about excessive exhaustion from vyvorochennogo a font, I have rushed to read-assort this zametochku, reprinted (ah as it is timely!) in local "Time" from, most likely, Internet: Pole Risharda Velnovsky hardly can be called a star — in the person or by name of ordinary cinema-goers it do not know. But Rishard Velnovsky it is the founder of a computer drawing, and for those whom it is not enough, the winner of the award "Emmi", appreciated among professionals rather highly. And so, the new technology, and Rishard Velnovsky not last among developers which will allow to design movements of the actor if there are at least four hundred metres of a film of real movement by means of the computer is developed. Through the Internet possibility to "remove" in the film practically any actor recovered thus, will be received also practically by any interested person. Thus any interested person, without dependence from talent, will have an opportunity to "work" even with the gone out stars. Pugajushche. After all the actor is not only a body and the person, it and unique, at everyone the, psychophysis, temperament, understanding of a role, a director's plan and degree of the participation in execution of this plan … That takes the cake. I so was excited from these notes, such strange, such wonderful and inexplicably got to me simultaneously and on 6th of March on eyes, what even have regretted about the irritation pulled out from under consciousness in the address «gryobanoj redaktorshi». My God, yes meet I her during that instant in reality, I would kiss this redaktorshu-komandirshu «Baranovsky of time», the madam (I have looked-has specified in a bottom of last strip) Volosovu, in spite of the fact that it enough strashnenkaja — such nuclear war in a miniature. Yes that there! I even Zljuchkinu-Vrednjuchkinu in would sow the moment for the company has kissed, and that, you look, and trahnul in gratitude for a wonderful note, though this young woman and at all — a horse in юбке*. I, by itself, for a long time already saw a film "Lawn-mower" on Stephen King (the truth, to King there much that is added-is imagined, and in our hire it was called moronically — «Kosilshchik lawns») so the idea of possibility unyrnut in the virtual world by means of a special audiovisual helmet and the computer was familiar to me. Later, as already mentioned, I looked on a TV set and "Destroyer" where lucky beggar Benjamin Brett plays and on a course of a plot by means of a similar helmet makes love to the competitor of bride Sandroj of the Bullock. But — so the brain human is arranged! — the sense of idea liked me, however, time films fantastic it was perceived as fantastic, thought up, unreal. And here — in newspapers, quite seriously, as an established fact!. From that day I have rushed to search very much two things: on the Internet — the computer program which even the name did not know; in the is real-terrestrial world — or a suit of the astronaut-cosmonaut (that the diving equipment was ridiculous), or (that too was utopian), or, at the worst, — a helmet rokersko-bajkersky. The main thing as I understood, it was necessary to isolate more densely-more reliably a brain from an external world and to shroud-penetrate in radiation, and a suit «with genitalnymi and other gauges» to invent from improvised materials always it is possible. With the program, of course, it turned out nothing. English ignorance fine braked business. I have involved the most powerful Internet search engines like Yahoo! And Alta Vista, called to the aid and spetspoiskovye servers like SoftSearch and FTPSearch, entered into the inquiry column in a combination to instructions «software» or «program» and a word «love», both «sex», and «nude», and «playboy», and even «porno» — it is useless, damned Internet detectives could not find the program with the similar name. But I with persistence of the maniac continued to rummage around World wide web cells — to search, search and search … And in passing continued to save-accumulate, if it is possible so to be expressed, presence Dzhulii at my house. I, as also spoke-promised in due time supruzhnitse, have divided a hard of the computer in two, but second half have given, of course, not to half, and — Dzhulii. Thus, Dzhul, not suspecting about it, became the proprietress not only houses in Los Angeles, apartments in New York and only fifty acres of the earth in New Mexico, but also two immense mbyte of space in my virtual world. Here at me separate rooms-folders have been built for it: in one, text files were stored in another — graphic, in the third — musical. These virtual rooms, in turn, have been closely filled by cases-subdirectories with plain names. For example, in the first — "Biographies", "Interview", "Reviews", "Gossips", "News"; in the second — "Posters", "Covers", "Shots", "Portraits", "Nju" … Yes, yes, I separate such have made the daddy though files in it it was stored — on fingers of the left Yeltsin hand to count it is possible: exactly three. At first, the truth, hurriedly and from greed I napihal there, besides already available two pictures, still pieces six-eight where Dzhulija flaunted with the bared breast, but all of them have been caught on hohmacheskih servers fomenkovskogo type (in a Runet, as is known, where with the mouse click, everywhere unruly Kohl Fomenko with the hohmami-tricks jumps out!) Also were so frankly halturny, that moods did not lift. And — not only moods … are shorter, once, under bad mood, I have removed-has erased all of them, having saved while, except the very first two, only one more which has named — "Kovboechka": Dzhulija in a cowboy's colourful suit, the leather short jacket is open, baring a magnificent breast, on the person a dazzling smile. Dzhul all kind as though spoke: «Yes, here I what! Admire on health!.» And I, really, did not get tired to admire this picture, the nobility of nothing wishing about degree of its reliability. I intended even, in a temper, to hang out this portrait on a working table-screen of a computer, against clouds Windows’a, but, hardly having cooled down, an invention of this have refused: there is nothing all and to everyone to see-persizret I wash Dzhul in such intimate kind. Under «all and everyone» meant, in the first and main turn, certainly, Anna Ioannovna. And she even more often and more persistently grumbled concerning absolutely not clear to it of intrusion Dzhulii Roberts during my life and in our apartment. And that! On a regiment of book racks before a desk pocket calendar cards and the pictures-shots cut out from magazines with Dzhuliej, hardly more low, on a wall, sideways from the computer are restricted, that wonderful portrait from «Marie Claire» flaunts, that I have snipped off in Moscow, and — near to same, from magazine, Dostoevsky's portrait of job of artist Perov. In a computer too as the screen will be lighted, first of all appears Dzhulija for I have combined one of its faces with vindovskimi clouds, and that I at times could hours, having started smotrilku-viewer ACDSee to lose all photofiles at first from a folder "Posters", then "Covers" and so on in a slide show mode — and to mention, I think, lishne. But after all and it it is not enough — in a sideboard I have shifted on one of glass shelves foolish services kofejno-tea (gifts wedding) and have exposed on a place of honour of a videocassette with Dzhuliej, and a video recorder which I, without fools, intended to return to owners-neighbours, yes all somehow was impossible, I have piled up on "Horizon" near to the printer, definitively having expelled therefrom connected by Anna salfetochku with a massive crystal vase on it … Vumen washing grumbled-creaked, but I tried especially not to snap, on the contrary, submissively assented: yes supposedly in nonsenses I am engaged, with boredom, the whim has simply rolled, childishness, trifles, attention to turn it is not necessary, in due course will pass … But, one cool minute, I was come to mind by absolutely idiotic idea, however, strangely enough, Anna was pecked-has given in. And I as if has learnt-has heard about correspondence postgraduate study in VGIKe have thought up, at cinematology faculty, as if on competition it is necessary to present the dissertation abstract, the subjects connected with Hollywood (and with what still are ostensibly encouraged!) And, say, if I break in postgraduate study, I will make-blind the dissertation on a theme «Dzhulija Roberts as a phenomenon of the Hollywood success», I will become the candidate of cine sciences and spetsom on the American blockbusters — the life to us malinovo-syrupy is provided … Has believed! And as differently: first, well it is impossible definitively and to reconcile completely to thought, that the 25-year-old married muzhik seriously vtjurilsja in the American movie star, and, secondly, very much would be desirable to have the husband not the younger editor, and — the candidate though any sciences. Atmosphere in the house was stabilised for some time. Anna Ioannovna when I unyrival in the computer, went behind my back silently, corrected noodles on the ears, I periodically added these noodles-vermicelli that my imagination did not grow dull in due course. And here I besides needed it, Anna, assistance. I have recollected, that its lovely brother, Vovan, still going to school, dissected on potholes of the Arable Corner on "Java". However, quite it could appear, that in village at them it was permitted and without helmets by motorcycles to go, and I could not recollect in any way, saw I or not on it bashke jajtsegolovoj so extremely a thing necessary for me, but — attempt not torture. — Anja, — as it is possible more ingenuously I have told — there was a Friday, evening, we sat before a box with the insurgent-thriller, — Anja, you something have absolutely ceased to come to see parents … Anna has grown dumb, has rolled out, it is possible not to doubt, eyes. — No, the truth, — falsity from tone I could not clean in any way, the God of actor's talent has not given, but has turned back, has looked at it pathetically, has added a heat in a voice, — go in this day off, to guide … — You that, have swallowed tablets? — It has closed the eyes partly, having ceased to knit. — Well, good, good!. For business it is necessary to me … There at them somewhere in a shed or on an attic the helmet motorcycle should roll, Vovkin, — you to me it bring, it is badly necessary to me, in as! — To you it is necessary, a helmet — Vovkin, and I at what? Itself go or it ask. Especially, can, it is still necessary to him … — Yes it is not necessary to yours bratanu this smelly helmet! — I have started to be angry. — it is necessary to me, me! And I for what reason will go, if parents — yours and you to come to see them it is necessary?! — See what careful … Both te de, and te pe, and so forth Conversation, by itself, was tightened, has accepted tiresome character, but, certainly, I, and Anna pritartala to me, eventually, have overcome a bright red motor-pressure helmet with a transparent visor from pleksy which was necessary for me for not which «visually-gollograficheskoj computer program». By the way, this, last, makaronina quite resembled the present. Here only as well as where it is possible to find, at last, this "visually-gollograficheskuju" — here in what a problem. And suddenly it, this problem, was resolved by itself, and even the helmet foolish was not necessary for me — in vain only Anna asked. And only it was necessary — to glance in "Intim". So it is simple!. _______________________ * Sergey obviously goes to far: I know-saw these ladies-editors — not beauties, of course, not Dzhulii Roberts, but, on baranovskim to measures, quite at level. It is possible to guess, the matter is that what our young author tries to write-compose verses or prose and, possibly, has received from editions of these newspapers, maybe, and personally from redaktorsh (and where still he could see them?) severe otlup, that, certainly, its tone completely not gentlemen's cannot justify, but at least somehow explains. <<<Glik the fifteenth Glik the seventeenth>>>
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© Rosedkin Sergey Nikolaevich, 2001
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