- Sergey Rosedkin -
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ME LIKES DZHULIJA ROBERTS Glik 11	Glik the eleventh Monday — day, really, nasty. With utrechka I have rushed off a pace on station — to meet two professors-starperov from Moscow, opponents хрéновых, arranged them in hotel, treated-fed with an imperial breakfast at restaurant, drove to a monument Tsensky on Quay to assign flowers (to ours, by the way, money bought!) . Overnight one more, is more correct — one, I met on new road service station, the scientific granny has arrived from Voronezh by bus. When all of them three have met behind a restaurant appetizing little table at once undertook to be kissed and chirp: it appears, this Trinity of experts on Sergeevu-Tsensky ran in our University into protection with a flu epidemic regularity, so lux in our hotel "Theatrical" and a breakfast for three in cost in my half-salaries — for them business is habitual-ordinary. I had a drink small draughts the coffee, looked-observed, how my wards, these two Moscow old men-professors in shining shabby jackets together with the Voronezh old woman-doktorshej filnauk in old-fashioned shabby shushune, is bright eat greedily, despite the hemorrhoids, ulcers and gastritises, haljavnye omelettes with spinach yes fritters with cottage cheese, smiled, when it was necessary to answer questions, and itself with toskoju thought: yes when you will get drunk, and? Ahead there was still a dinner and a banquet today plus service under the full program for tomorrow, to a train withdrawal. My God, help! Delivering precious opponents in university, I, by order of Anna as any footman-waiter, undertook to plane-mould sandwiches with cheese, sausage, with red fish — helped to cover tables at first for intermediate tea-coffee, and then and banquet. It is good still, that we have co-operated with other post-graduate student, Lena who was protected on Vyacheslav Ivanov so though visitors it has, of course, turned out more, but on banquet expenses and efforts as a whole both parties all the same have won. As they say, every cloud has a silver lining — sandwiches have prevented me to be present on the first protection, and on persons of those who has not avoided it, I perfectly saw-understood, that have lost not much: they with osovelymi eyes in a break chewed sausage, swallowed of tea-coffee and could not come in itself in any way. And that! Already for one name of the dissertation this long-legged Lena should give a rank akademissy all and all sciences: «transtsendentalnyj parallelism phenomenal both noumenalnogo in umopostigaemoj and misticheski a begun to see clearly associative-subjective transcription znakoponimanija in Vyacheslav Ivanov's megacreativity». At my Anna Ivanovny the dissertation theme-name in comparison with this resembled children's babble, only — «  S.N.Sergeeva-Tsenskogo's Novel  “ Doomed to  destruction ”: a moral-philosophical and poetic context». And, at least, to me, can because I already knew it thoroughly, all in this as though to scientific job was clear, and I believed dissertantke, that at Sergeeva-Tsenskogo there was both moral-philosophical, and, especially, poetic context. To me it was clear. I did not understand another: who now reads it Sergeeva-Tsenskogo? Who in general knows about the novel «Doomed to  destruction» which and at a life of the author not very much was we read? To whom, to the devil's grandmother, one more dissertation on died and strongly and, undoubtedly, forever is necessary for a long time to the writer, under absolutely deadborn novel?. But my wards two starikana and starushentsija have especially finished me, professors dolbannye — have risen and word for word proshamkali only on two phrases: a pier, Sergeys-Tsensky — the greatest writer-classic of the domestic and world literature, and, say, Anna Ivanovny's research is written competently, lovely and has brought the invaluable contribution to domestic literary criticism … it was necessary to fence a kitchen garden, places-lux in hotel to reserve! No, the truth, what nevertheless pigs! I mean ours, baranovskih: after all start up they me in postgraduate study, permit my dissertation on Dostoevsky to finish (already degree washing, in essence, — half candidate) now I here in this audience was protected, and listeners baldeli not with boredom, and from surprise, admiration and delight. Yes, a tooth I give, it would be the best and most unique protection within the precincts of our homebrew, worn-out, stuck together of zadripannogo peda universitetishki!.* On a banquet when all five-six tens reviewers, opponents, odnokorytnikov and other visitors-participants of action have departed a little from «an associative-subjective transcription» and «a moral-philosophical context», razmjagcheli brains and souls, the society has demanded a toast from correct assistants to newly made candidates filnauk without which the last for what would not be possible to carry out the titanic work and to enrich domestic and world literary criticism, to put it briefly, — relatives. I have already fine floated from four-five rjumashek, have tried was to fall down-shift honorary duties on Vovan who has appeared in time just to a banquet and now with appetite guzzled the zabugornuju "skotchskuju" vodka from a separate bottle, — as the closest to one of dissertantok by birth and one of the main sponsors of a banquet, but that inconsiderately has torn off-has crumpled my attempts: — You chyo, the relative, in nature, vashche a blister? Whether Priburel chyo? I, a pancake, grandmas have thrown and more baklanit should? Give without a market, a pancake, push rechugu! Professors with senior lecturers of an eye povypuchili, Anna has reddened, has pulled bratana a sleeve. There is nothing, I have risen, have lifted a wine-glass with "Provincial", have cleared the throat also the beginnings: — Ka-and-aroche, a market about what? There lived once such boy, type Vovan, held the real estate, image on a muzzle has pulled, well, type, a pancake, novorusish, vashche … Anna so has pulled me a jacket tail so, that I have not sat down nearly. — Sorry! Sorry, ladies and misters-companions! Not in that steppe!. — I, against rules, have taken from a wine-glass to a toast, have added it and have started to make out a toast anew: — the Existential condition transde … transtsede … a transcendental phenomenon and noumena … This time Anna has jerked for a jacket so, that I was not rumbled nearly on a floor together with a chair. — You will speak normally or not? In its voice, in the person there were so much pains, insults, shame. Suddenly for a minute it became ashamed for me: indeed, it than is guilty? And, really, that people will think: not only that foolish to nobody the necessary dissertation nakropala-has protected, not only that the brother — the pithecanthropus jajtsegolovyj; so also the husband-muzhik — whether the drunk-loser, whether the loony shizanutyj … I have driven a moronic smile from the person and have quite sincerely told: — Excuse, Anja, has joked unsuccessfully — has got tired! Society disappointedly (has carried by skandalchik!) zaroptalo: what supposedly weariness, if not you the dissertation vymuchival? But I with elegicheskogo a spirit was difficult for bringing down already. To the end philological pjanki I have been correct, sustained and kurtuazen. I even in a gallantry paroxysm have given out to long-legged red Lena, the second dissertantke, an unusual, mad, fantastic compliment, adding it wines in a glass: — You something remind me Dzhuliju Roberts! — And who it? — The newly made candidate filnauk has asked, chewing a cutlet. Fie on you!. «Fie, fie, fie on you!» — I repeated it about myself as a spell next morning heavy day of Tuesday, opohmeljaja old men-opponents and opohmeljajas with them. The Voronezh scientific granny, the truth, has flatly refused to be treated even on a freebie, supped to the bus a toothless mouth yoghurt with smetankoj in dreadful quantities, the Moscow grandfathers naskrebli gunpowder in powder flasks full of holes — on pivku with shrimps had a good time. Beer in considerable quantities, unlike vodka, human udobrivaet-softens soul. The word of honour, we with starikanchikami-professors from the Moscow State University, learnt-educated in due time which else my parents (I then at mother has consulted — really, learnt!) Have almost become friends beyond "Baltic" and "Fat man". They to me all complained, as it is difficult to live-survive it in capital as it is unfair, that all their is global-professorial knowledge on Tsensky, to Leonov, Panferov and other Serafimovicham are necessary-will be claimed ever less, all is more rare … But the most touching, these old men-philologists to chrezvychajnosti were proud of that they as staunch communists, have not betrayed the knowledge-belief, have not replaced a vector of scientific interests, unlike some. From these "some" especially, it was felt, irritated my doctors-drinking companions certain professorsha Kondakova. — You represent, Kohl, — to a voice, interrupting each other and starting up beer bubbles, they repeated-repeated, — candidate protected on Gladkov's "Cement", doctor's on "Hydromain line" SHaginjan, read lectures on a socialist realism, and now — here you are! — the leading expert under the literature of Russian abroad in general and Shmelev's to creativity in particular! How it is pleasant to you?. It was not pleasant to me. Because, in turn, it was not pleasant to lovely my old men, as meanly to me have cut postgraduate study and have not allowed to write-protect the epoch-making dissertation on Dostoevsky, it it very much and very much was not on heart, they is noisy were indignant and were indignant. About, we perfectly understood each other! And when, having got drunk beer almost to a throat (nevertheless the money which has been given out by Anna, for full binge has not sufficed), and having dozed in hotel see you in the evening, we have come to be at last at station, I am quite sincere priobnjal them by turns at parting and was stuck with a nose into their tops decayed dublyonok. My mood, despite hungover heavy dregs, soared in empirejah for after shining with an old age professorial tulupchikov I have ardently embraced at parting and my Anna Ioannovny's brilliant brand new nutria. Yes, yes! It with the same train, in one compartment with the opponents went to capital personally to bring-deliver where follows all dissertational papers for a definitive verdict. From station home I flied on wings, trembling them, wings, from passionate impatience: one and a half days, two nights and the whole immense day, I will be alone with Dzhuliej. Only I and it! __________________________ * If not this naive recognition of the offended author, I, certainly, have reduced-has softened its unrestrained bilious invectives against the deserved professors, classics of the domestic literature and system of our higher education. <<<Glik the tenth Glik the twelfth>>>
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© Rosedkin Sergey Nikolaevich, 2001
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