- Sergey Rosedkin -
		p r about z and
	Main | News | Cut-away | fotobio | Prose | About Dostoevsky | J. Roberts | Humour | Non-fikshn | Criticism | Teen Sluts
ME LIKES DZHULIJA ROBERTS Glik 7	Glik the seventh NOT AUTHORIZED RELATIONS (A fragment to lead "Construction battalion") There was it suddenly. Before, certainly, I have had heard plenty in barracks innumerable quantity of histories how nimble daring tell-tales jump in matrimonial bed of the commanders. Cheerful histories, but — fantastic. For example, in our 5th rote the commander was captain Homenko — the person terrible (both character, and a physiognomy), the despot, and supruzhnitsu had the corresponding: already old, ugly, soldafonskogo type — well directly corporal in a skirt! At zampolita roty lieutenant Demyanov the wife was younger and prettier, but than very immense sizes, a flank bochkoj, and worked for it on eyes, under prigljadom, managed regimental mail so if at whom from sappers or sergeants and made eyes, most likely, purely Platonically. Zampoteh lieutenant Koshkin and the foreman roty ensign Seleznev were still single, and platoons in building armies sergeants order and at all, as is known. Here and podi find under such fast circumstances for the komandirsko-officer wife for fornication!. I already dosluzhival the, was registered in old men, dreamt about fast — month through three — a demobilisation and dreamt, of course, of love, but already about love, so to say, present — on an ox, on the citizen. Almost for two years of service at me was three intimacies on correspondence, with zaochnitsami, yes just these last hot days of leaving summer occurred not clearly that to Any, the master of city housing-operational management (ZHEU) where I worked-served as the sanitary technician-accident-prone person on duty. Ljuba was married, had the 3-year-old little son, it was quite nice, but no more, and somehow so it was occurred-has happened, that we from it at first have begun to dangle-communicate hotly at job, and then once when anybody in a room of masters any more was not, during a lunch break, we in the heat of hot conversation so have approached persons, that suddenly took and have kissed. Well and — has begun … Husband Ljuby often left in business trips (well in any way without a joke not to manage, all life — a continuous joke!) The son to it managed to be alloyed to the mother-in-law under a pretext, that late will be late at job, and we without hindrances could, as it is accepted to be expressed nowadays, to make love. That's it — to be engaged! Was not, at least at me, neither special heat-heat, nor dizziness, delight to a faint. Were closed in apartment, hastily drank on a glass of wine for removal naprjaga, hasty undressed, having turned to each other backs, got under a blanket and … fucked. Yes, other word you will not pick up! However, Ljuba it more than seriously, even speeches the ringleader about the divorce, apparently, perceived, that will go for me after a demobilisation though on a world's end … So I painfully thought out, as though to fasten with all it. First, the prospect of withdrawal Ljuby with its snotty naked doll from their forwarding agent at all did not smile to me, and, secondly, if during time orgazma do not lose consciousness — for what then to fuck? But — damned character! — I pulled all, all delayed a definitive explanation with Any. There would be I free — would take even, and was left-has left from ZHEU and have tried from it in a city not to meet, and here … In the part I was besides komsorga roty also the editor of the regimental radio newspaper. Two times a week I collected-riveted the next release — any reports from regimental and company meetings, sketches-sketches about valorous military builders and other in the same spirit, made out all it on a paper and, before reading texts in a microphone, vised them at zampolita parts of the lieutenant colonel Mild. So to say, — censorship top-level. The lieutenant colonel was — the person. I at an input, of course, each time acted up under the charter — honour gave, started the report solemn: the pier, the editor of the regimental radio newspaper the sergeant Nikolaev has arrived for!. On this place Alexander Fyodorovich ordinary interrupted me with playful grumble: — Good, good … Give, Sasha, keep to the point! This August solar midday I was knocked on an office to zampolitu in general with special mood. The matter is that for a week before in kaptyorke ours roty has appeared ten complete sets unprecedented hitherto the daily form — the present riding breeches and soldier's blouses of the sample 1949, whether that, year. Somewhere in warehouses this has lain obmundirovka more than two tens the years, reliably covered, not faded, juicy tobacco colour, and here now its any quartermaster has found out and has decided to use for the designated purpose. The military barracks as regards styles and an agiotage thereof can give odds to any finishing school. And as at authorised uniformity of the form the imagination of dandies is rather limited in means their efforts are directed basically on breed and an accessories. For example, someone the first in barracks has thought up instead of a canvas belt to support shtantsy braces — soon all braces not only in a garrison little shop, but also in city department store were disappeared-have come to an end. With these braces fathers-commanders, foremen, patrol gansy struggled, but the most criminal dandies army persistently sported in braces and on change selected by all means got the new. There were fashionable features and less ruinous (for example, rigid — from a fiber, a cardboard, and even tins — inserts in epaulets), were superburdensome, under force only the most criminal and quick (for example, the form "pesha", from a half-woollen fabric which stood out only to ensigns and foremen, but it appeared at times on shoulders of other sergeants and even ordinary "grandfathers"). And so, and here there was such excellent possibility — quite legally to flaunt the unusual form, to become the company legislator of a fashion. Naturally, ten complete sets of soldier's blouses as a result of the most severe dispute which has reached even before easy fight, have divided among themselves our company a demobilisation — and that has not sufficed all. Also they divided only eight complete sets, for one by right at once visors to itself(himself) kaptyorshchik (the company storekeeper) JAsha, it though was all only "scoop", but such at it a criminal post; and one more, certainly, has got to me — as though it komsorg roty yes went suddenly chuhnaryom! When I was knocked on an office of the lieutenant colonel Mild, the brand new unusual form (with a high collar, unprofitable pockets on a breast — a glamour!) was already on me. The whole week in the evenings I am personal (the secretary of committee of Komsomol blatovat cannot and young to maintain!) took in-adjusted it on a figure, equipped-decorated with the firm epaulets new pugovichkami, a snow-white undercollar with the vein-kantikom passed through on top (that was at all forbidden by the charter, but unless "old man" without kantika can go?!), made narrower riding breeches to extreme degree so they tense by braces, these former riding breeches, became similar to body stockings of the dancer of ballet, to impropriety underlining all my man's advantages — but that you will not make for the sake of peep of a kazarmenno-army fashion!. I, naturally, even despite the brand new form, intended to admit in ritual kozyrjanija and the authorised report, as usually, an irony shred. I already and a voice corresponding have adjusted, slightly opening a door zampolitovskogo an office as suddenly as if has stumbled internally: directly opposite to doors it sat on a chair … I Understand, all these kursivy, dots and other graphic shifts explain nothing, any concrete information do not bear. Well, and how this information to pass? How to explain simply and I am sensible, that during the same moment, in the same second as if as the push in heart has felt, as if as has understood-has realised instantly on subconscious, at superdeep level any is it … It — it … It — IT … I do not know, how still it is possible to underline-allocate! I earlier about similar only read yes knew by hearsay, and now here itself have tested: Really, it appears, it is possible to feel a strange push in heart and to start to breathe more deeply at the very first sight at the woman, and there and then to feel, that between you any pautinka-communication … was suddenly arose-was stretched instantly At first — a general impression: it had light hair dismissed on shoulders, slightly wavy, it had the big dark eyes which have looked at me at first is strict and haughty, but there and then suddenly softened (gimnastyorochka!), its thin person with hardly rezkovato the outlined cheekbones was aristocratic in that sense in what I understand this definition, nachitavshis Stendalja and Turgeneva, harmonous, even, it is possible to tell, a lean figure under a light-pale-yellow open dress, unusually long feet in transparent kapron … Yes what there to explain: it was all any unusual, from other world! And, I will remind-will underline: despite the armejsko-soldier's status, I communicated with a female every day so in no event it was impossible to count my sight hungry. Certainly, I have recoiled, bormotnuv something like: «you are occupied?», — but the lieutenant colonel Mild has kept me: — Come, come! Just by the way. Here, Maria Semyonovna, one of the best our company secretaries — the sergeant Nikolaev, from the fifth roty. I spoke to you about him … This Maria Semyonovna unfamiliar still to me has taken of my an estimating view, the person it already was absolutely softened with a smile. I hardly hands not vsplesnul from admiration — what at it was a smile! Hands I not vsplesnul, I from delight holding apart me there and then and nonsense have thrown out, oparafinilsja. I as last oligofren shizodebilnyj have stuck out the tsypljachju a breast in a new soldier's blouse, molodtsevato as to me it was thought, have thrown the bulged edges of fingers to pilotke, have snapped the heels of boots ground off on an army fashion and the beginnings, flushing from natugi to bellow: — A companion! The lieutenant colonel!! The sergeant!!! Nikolaev!!!! Has arrived!!!!!. — Stop! Stop! Sasha, has become crazy? — Even Alexander Fyodorovich has jumped up. — Yes you will frighten Maria Semyonovnu! The beauty has burst out laughing. — Pass, have a seat, — has continued zampolit, — and meet with our new managing sector of the account of committee VLKSM of a part Maria Semyonovnoj Kljuevoj. I hope, you from it will find common language, make friends … The kindest Alexander Fyodorovich would know, чтó he then has told!. * * * Already soon I in barracks only spent the night. I and earlier when was in a part arrangement in the rote time spent a little, more and more in library or in a staff radio room stuck out, and now and at all road home, in our extreme entrance have forgotten. Our regiment took places in the panel house outwardly similar on ordinary city pjatietazhku. Here I definitively as though also have moved in the first entrance where the staff took places, only now have registered on the fifth floor, in part committee VLKSM. Senior lieutenant Chernov, the commander komsomolii a shelf, was shown here seldom, yes at it and the separate office was. And we with Masha lived in its room-zakutke, encumbered cases with registration forms of soldiers-members of the Komsomol. Masha it for me, naturally, became not at once. I, first myself deceiving and trying to deceive it, undertook to be dragged in day yes every day in account sector to Maria Semyonovne, ostensibly, on neotlozhnejshim to affairs. O-O Th what I in a moment became the accuratest, business and diligent company Komsomol leader not only in ours to a regiment, but in garrison, and even — in all Soviet Army, including Air Forces and Navy fleet. With superfluous registration forms of members of the Komsomol-soldiers of ours roty I tirelessly filled hundred, supplemented, corrected, licked, cleaned, looked through, aired, ironed, recalculated, verified, shifted, levelled … And besides unless could be and other affairs-cares at the present secretary of committee of Komsomol roty in sector of the account of committee VLKSM of a part a little?. Clearly, that if the person not absolutely tup also is impudent, it will be obligatory to oppress it own importunity in relation to other person and to press down thought-alarm, that that person suffers you only owing to aristocratic education and immense kindness of character. I was oppressed also with my importunity, I and was pressed down by similar thoughts, but I of anything do with myself could not. The ingenious Pushkin: « But that the life washing has lasted, I should be assured in the morning, that I in the afternoon will meet you … », is about me. In the morning on lifting, having shuddered on a habit from a vile roar of the foreman or the person on duty on rote and having waited footfall-din salag and scoops, I was turned more densely in a blanket, but the dream ran now my eyes even if I have come from a night shift and was only just filled up in bed. I thought of Masha. I dreamt of it … And, clearly, hardly having waited nine hours, I headlong rushed on 5th floor of a staff entrance. I willingly substituted now the associates on sanitary service in the second and third changes so almost every week-day had possibility closely to be engaged in Komsomol affairs-cares. That's it — week! Saturday with Sunday have started to turn for me to original torture, while … However, I run forward! I repeat, I was oppressed first with thought-alarm, that I am too importunate, annoying, tiresome and intolerable. I stuck out in kabinetike Maria Semyonovny, something was murmured-communicated, but all furtively looked in its eyes to grasp-notice in them a boredom and irritation reflexion. I, swear, have found then in myself forces to braid myself, to seize, figuratively speaking, for shkirku new mine modnjachej soldier's blouses and to pull out from this rajsko-Komsomol office. But in that and zakavyka, in that and paradox, that in any way I of a reflexion such in Maria Semyonovny's perfect deep eyes could not catch and, with simplification having translated imperceptibly spirit, with vzmokshej a back continued something to speak-mutter, greedy devouring with its sight and obviously feeling all fibers of soul and a body any painful fluids proceeding from it. If to be rough and exact: in the presence of Masha, being from it in two-three metres, through a table, I tested on heat and temperature absolutely same, that with Any during the moment orgazma. Therefore I even to think-present was afraid, that will be occurred-will happen, if I touch at least only her hand … And I and to dream of a kiss was not dared. However, I what for start to buffoon. Certainly, already soon I with sincere trembling have started to guess, that my visits and long sitting in its kabinetike-boudoir not too strongly weigh Maria Semyonovnu. By itself, our conversations have ceased to be limited in due course to komsomolsko-foolish cares. We have found more exciting theme — the literature. Here I could show-prove in the most advantageous light! Ordinary, I am not very eloquent, osoblivo with women, but only conversation concerned literatures — about, here I almost instantly turned in TSitserona, in Bojana, in SHeherezadu, in Solomona the bible. At least — in passion of tone. I started to splash a saliva, when spoke about the literature — here what reached. Also it is possible to imagine mine if it is possible so to be expressed, admired obaldenie when it was found out, that Masha not only likes and knows the literature (that in women meets not too often!) But she knows it professionally, seriously, it is better than me. It also has finished besides library faculty of institute of culture. I reading before on a method «that under a hand will get» and basically to the classic, soon purposefully absorbed magazines and books which were brought to me from the house by Masha, all most-most — «Conversations under the clear moon» Shukshin, «Live and remember» Rasputina, «One day Ivan Denisovicha» Solzhenitsyna, «Hundred years of loneliness» Marquez, «"Person-box"Kobo Abe … is a little sun in cold water» Sagan, «Three companions» Remarque, But soon, despite all our hot conversations-debates on the literature, I was quite convinced, that I am afraid Maria Semyonovnu. Much later «About love» I subtract-learn from treatise Stendalja, that the pathological shyness in the presence of the woman is first sign of the present love. Yes, yes! Under the statement of the great Frenchman-ljubveveda, one of the basic signs, and the most exact, that you have grown fond that you not simply like this woman, and you have blazed to it with love-passion, as this sign the shyness serves. And I after all have absolutely forgotten to tell, that Masha, Maria Semyonovna for three years was more senior me, had son Pavlika of four years, its husband, senior lieutenant Klyuyev, ordered rotoj in next to a regiment, and maiden and too the literary surname — Гликберг* — any inexplicably strengthened it and condensed my shyness. I called its Maria Semyonovnoj, it me — by name, Sashej, but too on "you". And I, certainly, secretly dreamt, that somehow, in a conversation heat-heat empty "you" hot "you" it, obmolvjas, has replaced … Once, there has passed a month from the date of our acquaintance, we again, having forgotten about all on light, communicated. Masha has just brought the collection of stories of Vasily Makarovicha Shukshin about which I only ear edge heard before after a dinner, and, hurrying up us with it to reduce-acquaint, aloud undertook to read to me: RASKAS From Ivan Petina the wife has left. Yes as has left!. Directly as in old kind novels — has run away with the officer. Ivan has arrived from distant flight, has tired out the car in a fencing, has unlocked a log hut … And has found a note on a table: «Ivan, excuse, but I am more with such penkom I can not live. Do not search for me. Lyudmila» … Masha already knew, that will be ridiculous further, I on the first lines was adjusted on a drama. However, the word "penyok" has already surprised me. Soon we have been compelled to interrupt continually reading, laughing loudly as mad over "raskasom" which has written poor rural Karenin in rajonku without delay to the family tragedy. Means was so: I come — nastole a note. I it will not be piriskazyvat: it there to be called the beginnings. I know the main thing, why it has made such feint ears. All said to it, that it similar to any actress. I have forgotten on what. But she the little fool does not understand: well also what? Whether I am not enough on whom similar, I also allow to skip now as a flea on a mirror. And to it when said, that it became similar it directly shchastlivaja. And esliv to tell to whom shto he on Hitler similar shto it tada needs to do: to suffice a gun and to shoot all successively? We at the front had one such — the poured out Hitler. It then somewhere in back have sent therefore shto it is impossible so. No, all in a city was necessary to this. There speaks me all will learn. Well not the silly woman! It vobchem that not the silly woman, but a little cranky nashchyot the physiognomy. Whether yes a little beautiful — all would run from the house! I know, he to it has told: «As you are fine similar to one actress!» It it is final all it was lighted … Eh, learnt you learnt gusudarstvo money for you spent, and you now sjali on a neck obchestvu and radyoshenki! And gusudarstvo at a loss … Eh, you!. You think esliv I the driver, dak I understand nothing? Yes I you naskroz see! We gusudarstvu bring advantage here these hands with which I schas write, and at streche I can the same hands so to light promezh an eye, shto which who for about a week will be sick. I do not threaten and I there is nothing me after that to sew shto to someone threatened but at streche I can treat just once. That is why shto it too is wrong: uvidal the woman bole or mene anything on a muzzle and at once it was poured to it. Uvirjaju you though I and bald but which whom too could poprizhat therefore shto in flights everyones strechajutsja. But however I do not do it. And suddenly it whose nibut the wife? And they are such shto can and keep silent about it. Who I will be before muzhiks to which I have built on horns! I not lihodej to people. Now look shto it turns out: here it has wagged a tail, has left where eyes look. So? Here the family is broken. And at it there is a full confidence, shto it there will adjust the new. She navsego week of the person knew all, and we with it have lived four years. Not the silly woman it after that? And gusudarstvo money for it spent — learnt. Well, and where that study? It bad did not learn … At it by the way the brother too the officer the senior lieutenant, but about I eat one good is audible only. It the honours pupil of fighting and political preparation … And here, just on these lines "Raskasa" the door without knock was opened and in our world the senior lieutenant unfamiliar to me in full dress has become hollow. We with Masha, by inertia laughing, on it have looked. Starlej, not having turned on me the slightest attention, has cried to Masha: — Well that you do not call? What, has forgotten? To us to four to be in time it is necessary!. The smile from person Masha has slipped-has disappeared, was replaced by involuntary disappointment. And this appreciable change of its mood suddenly a warm wave of pleasure kolyhnulas in me. — I remember, I remember! — she has annoyancely answered. — you with the person would greet before … Klyuyev (of course, I have guessed!) it is surprised has looked at me up and down from top to bottom. I, however, have risen and even have accepted-has represented a certain similarity of a rack "quietly" is underlined. It it is a little dumbfounded has stretched: — Zdra-and-avstvujte, a companion the sergeant! — Health! I wish! A companion! The senior! The lieutenant! — progavkal I am vigorous. And there and then edge of an eye I have seen-has noticed, how Masha has frowned, has compressed from disappointment a cam, is puzzled on me has looked. Here those on! Means, with the lieutenant colonel Mild such jokes pass and are approved, and with starleem Klyuyev? But me has jammed, me has incurred, me has dragged. I have typed in lungs to air and more more moronically otlajal: — The secretary of committee Ve el Ka Se em roty an army part 55213 sergeant Nikolaev verification of Komsomol documents to Lenin offset has finished 5th! Time-z-zr-r-solve to go, a companion the senior lieutenant?! — Go, — it is taken aback the husband, quite seriously flaunting me in the answer has answered Cars. I to myself have ordered aloud: «Crewe-gom!», — sharahnulsja-sadanulsja a shoulder about a jamb so, that plaster fell down, has fallen out of an office, has gone down as in the child on the third floor, by jumping fingers hardly was corrected with the lock, undertook to pitch-burn down cigarettes one for another and to rush about on close kletushke the encumbered radio room, whispering and screaming continually: «Here gadstvo!. Well and well!. Yes ive!.» The most opposite was that I distinctly could not explain to myself from what it I suddenly so have bristled up. And in general, the guy what you have the right vzeroshivatsja? Well with what you here to a heat of the sun, and?. It happens-has occurred on Tuesday. Since Wednesday I am persistent, having overcome all obstacles, undertook to leave on fighting sanitary watch in the first — day — change. Ljuba, the silly fellow, has started. However, I taki gave it what-any hopes-occasions: very much on a shower it was nasty and it would be desirable participation, sympathy and — be gone it all propadom! — female caress. Lubin the muzhik on Sunday umatyval in business trip for now, in expectation of it, we from it played zhmantsy-obnimantsy on corners yes kissed furtively. Kissed Ljuba, despite neskolkoletny the matrimonial experience, ineptly, it is bad — it is affected. Our office occupied a cellar of a five-floor apartment house, during free time from emergency calls I liked to sit on fresh air at an entrance on a shop, reading the book and inhaling aromas of flower beds. If, certainly, nobody stirred. On Friday after a dinner to read to me did not give Ljuba. She sat next, talked without a stop and bothered me: ah, yes as it to me to read will not bother, yes as though more likely Sunday has come, yes that if to us tomorrow, on Saturday, somewhere to meet … Thus poor Ljubasha naturally hung on my shoulder, and, it is necessary to admit, komplektsii it was far not most legkokryloj, in the ballerina I would wash Ljubanju precisely not took … I am suddenly sharp otkachnulsja from it, have made a start and removed. And only already having made it, has understood-has realised — why: on sidewalk Masha, Maria Semyonovna was gone-came nearer to us! I have already taken in head was to whisk what for as nashkodivshy a puppy, in an entrance, in the saving cellar, but Masha was already terribly close, already looked at me, and at first surprise, and then and pleasure (yes-yes, pleasure!) were lighted serially on her face. — Sasha? I wished to jump, but have found out, that for a long time already have made it, hardly was have not thrown a hand to pilotke, but in time have come round, zabormotal: — Zdraste!. I here … We here are on duty … Here and Ljuba … Love Dmitrievna — she is a master … We in the first change we are on duty!. That failures was not!. — Yes? — Maria Semyonovna has asked. Despite razdraj in myself, I have noticed its confusion and obvious confusion. — and I live in this house … At the first entrance … I home I go … — Home?. It is good!. — Yes, home it is good … Maria Semyonovna has definitively mixed up, has nodded somehow awkwardly and silently a head, being as though excused, and has quickly gone away. Its heels on asphalt — tsok! tsok! I have absolutely forgotten about Ljube, and she suddenly as will jump, as will scream nearly on all street: «Eh you!», — has closed the person ladoshkami and has run too away, only in an opposite side. I stupidly looked to it following and listened intense hearing behind: tsok! tsok! tsok!. In podvzdohe it is sweet pristanyvalo. * * * The best definition of the person, mine at least, — a ram jajtsegolovyj. After all I for hundred percent precisely knew and have been assured, that if I on Monday since morning will be declared in committee of Komsomol of a part — to me there will be glad. However continued to sit in rote, in Lenkomnate, to play with sergeant Zhukov on duty on a hut in chess. By the way, chess — well absolutely foolish game! They to think-reflect of the stranger do not give-stir. I lost game behind party, the strategist of horse-radishes Zhukov purred marches and is self-satisfied pohrjukival. I something played for time, waited. And — it was waited-has waited! The man on duty, bald salazhonok has come running, and, stammering for excitement, has confusedly reported: the secretary of committee of Komsomol of 5th roty ask to be urgently in committee of Komsomol of a part … — Precisely ask? And can, nevertheless — order? — Has found in itself to spirit to joke I and has headlong rushed to a staff … We, of course, we, certainly, we spoke with Maria Semyonovnoj only about Komsomol affairs-cares. Yes, at first we discussed only urgent komsomolsko-youth problems on the threshold of that Lenin offset … Then about something spoke — can, about the literature, can, about water failures, maybe, even about master ZHKU Ljube or the honours pupil of fighting and political preparation the senior lieutenant Klyuyev … At me in one ear flew, in another fluttered out. I was understood-guessed by any hundred twenty sixth feeling, had a presentiment-expected something improbable, that, I knew, by all means today happens, necessarily will occur … Before a dinner, before an exit for a dinner, Maria Semyonovna as usually, wished to tint lips (I awfully liked this moment!), already a tube with lipstick from a handbag has taken out, but has suddenly thrown it back, has clicked zamochkom, has risen, has corrected a hairdress before a mirror, left, as usually, ahead of me in corridor-platform twilight, has pulled what for a closed door starleja CHernova, has bent to the door, inserting a key in a keyhole, has made one turn, it was suddenly straightened, has thrown off a handbag from a shoulder, has hooked-has hung up on a sticking out key, has turned to me, has shaken closely, has embraced, has nestled and, looking sumasshedshe shining eyes in my eyes (we were one growth), has exhaled hushfully: — You want it? I do not know, that me has more strongly shaken: for the first time "you" who has broken from her lips, not clear, mysterious or pjanjashche-frightening "want" "it". I did not think and did not wish to think. I am greedy, clumsy, have very much pressed it to myself, was stuck with lips at first into a cheek, in a nose, have had time instantly and to be frightened definitively, that now all to turn to a farce, will ridiculously break, has found in twilight her mouth, has nestled, its lips poddalis-have revealed, she has answered a kiss and has suddenly moaned, its body in my embraces has moved in a winding, almost in a convulsion, I have found the right palm its breast, guessing-feeling any miracle under a double layer of a matter quivering tenderness of a nipple … And here, when I, already with might and main expiring juice, undertook at random Lazarja something at it there to rummage and try to unbutton, Masha has suddenly pushed away me, whispering incoherently: «All!. It is not necessary!. Then!. Will suffice!.», — has corrected a blouse, has seized a handbag, has tightened on the second turn a key and has disappeared. And I even two column stuck out minutes in a waiting room of our office, being afraid of something to understand and is definitive in something to believe. Then, when I made the way on a ladder to myself in a radio cabin, I had to cover from passers shtabistov my former riding breeches too made narrower on an army fashion specially removed for this purpose from a head pilotkoj. I flared, I burnt, I was literally sick. The window of edition of the radio newspaper left, fortunately, on our regimental parade-ground. I have stuck to it, hardly having recovered the breath and having counterbalanced pulse. However, plainly it was impossible to make it, I again and again felt-felt on the lips of a lip of Maria Semyonovny, Masha, heard vjave its muffled groan. Only any drag me now not has pulled, has not distracted — komroty or the lieutenant colonel Mild. «Stop! — I have told to myself. — Cool down, the guy! Alexander Fyodorovicha-to do not touch. And — the member about a window sill do not break!.» Involuntarily having sniffed, I have forced itself to come off a window (all the same it earlier than in an hour will not return), I was swept up on the hole-room, trying to analyse the happened. I also could not assume such turn of events. We will tell more precisely: I and to dream of it was not dared. I to it, to her hand only have casually touched once — have submitted to it the pencil which has fallen from a table so and that in heat has thrown me, and I writhed on a chair about a quarter of hour, diligently covering all the same pilotkoj foolish sapyorskie shtantsy. Yes that there — a touch-contact! I in general at its presence only looking in her eyes, hearing its voice, catching the scent which has become aggravated to incredibility the exciting smell of the woman proceeding from her, tested about the same that tested still the teenager in the hot dreams at dawn which are coming to an end first sodrogatelnymi polljutsijami. That I have tested-has felt just, in a dark corridor, this explosion of corporal and sincere pleasure, even to compare-compare it was impossible with that substitute of spasms with what fussy copulation with the same Any or those several girls, women and babyoshkami with which I before comprehended obstinately mournful experience of carnal love zavershalis-came to an end. This mournful experience also prompted to me — Rubicon perejdyon. After a kiss, after such kisses further all to sweep on nakatannomu ways. About, can already be today, in an hour-one and a half I will already undress Masha, to rummage greedy hands in the most undercover ugolochkah its bodies, I will caress-gorjachit violent kisses of her lip, a breast, a stomach, hips!. Its groans will become all louder and besstydnee, telodvizhenija all is more frank and neistovee, it will bite me from passion and during the latest instant when our bodies bound in ecstasy will start to shudder in convulsions orgazma, she will frenziedly stick nails into my back, and I from a delightful pain in a voice will begin to roar … At this is pensive-juicy moment, nearly not having lowered, not having terminated in reality, I have roughly torn off-oholonul myself: aha, and at this time will enter starlej CHernov or, than that is purer, starlej Klyuyev! And how you are going to, smart guy, it to carry out all in practice — on the polished table, whether that? Or, can, it is direct on trampled to a floor? And in general, you unless about it dreamt-thought? Only about it?. And here I have started to get up with myself to improbable things, fantastic! I looked out of the window, from the third floor as there is on asphalt of a parade-ground Maria Semyonovna to a staff entrance, have heard, having writhed at a door as it has walked-has risen (tsok! tsok!.) on a ladder to itself in skies, having been late for a second (or it only seemed to me?) on my floor, then has got out almost on tiptoe of a staff and what for along a wall, disappearing though windows of committee of Komsomol left on other party, on barracks of the next regiment, has made the way home, in the rotu. There I, having forgotten absolutely about a dinner, was packed in a blanket and have tried unyrnut in a soothing dream. Me slightly was in a fever, the head has swelled from thoughts-experiences, on a shower was smurno. I indeed any miracle managed to fall asleep hour on two — as if to plunge into the warm bath filled with a nirvana of painful dreams. Exhausting dreams-dreams … * * * No, the truth so arrive only absolutely gone balmy! Rumpled since morning komroty Homenko minutes two izuchajushche considered my completely not gallant rack, frowned bushy eyebrows. My statement-demarche for an emergency exit in the first change was not pleasant to it. It has breathed heavily, has densely begun to breathe peregarom. — Something you, komsorg, I look, to behave in a queer way the beginnings, and? And in rote affairs absolutely has thrown — all on staffs more oshivaeshsja. From account sector, speak, not vylazish … That, to manumissions of has already felt, the sonny? Rather early! Or blot zaela? I blot vyshibu! Here that: you will go today person on duty on rote — has understood? That from idleness and everyone hrenoteni did not toil … The captain, as always, was eloquent and sharp. However, can, it and the rights, can, really, all it — hrenoten? I also wanted, having removed from Masha in space far away, capitally all to consider-ponder. I am terrible mandrazhiroval. And itself plainly could not explain to itself — that I so was afraid? Not its muzhik, eventually, this honours pupil of fighting and political preparation who saw only time and about which Maria Semyonovna to speak-remember did not like. And not son Pavlika about whom she spoke-recollected with ohotoju but which I saw while only in photos. Leaves, I it, Masha, am afraid? Or—? Or nevertheless what should it is indispensable be occurred-happen just about between us?. Generally I vaguely guessed the latent reasons of the pressing shyness which has rolled on me. I lost-scrolled time and again this mean picture in imagination: I enter or I run in, or even I fly in Masha's office on wings bubbling (certainly — bubbling!) love, I rush to it to embrace, press to flaring (yes, flaring!) to heart, it is passionate (passionately!) to kiss, as suddenly — a ladoshka-barrier towards, a puzzled sight, haughty: «It that else the such?!» … To be on duty on a hut to me before I was necessary all time two, with neprivychki by the evening umajdohalsja and when on evening checking has handed over watch to other sergeant, with simplification have fallen in bed and almost at once was chopped off. But nevertheless was in time, on an immemorial masochistic manner, to touch-feel darling sincere sores, poraskolupyvat them: all the day long you, the guy, were waited-hoped, that you any makarom will invite-will call in a staff, to the fifth floor, you potayonno dreamt of it, smart guy because it is still silly and naive as a puppy tryohmesjachnyj … Next day, persistently keeping myself in rote ostensibly naineotlozhnejshimi affairs-cares and shuddering-fading from phone calls on a bedside table of the man on duty, I have held on till a dinner and then have skipping jumped in native ZHEU on sanitary watch in the second change. Already rather late, hours per nine when the partner my, ordinary scoop, one has left to clean the hammered toilet bowl on a trifling call, I have switched on a shower on full capacity and thoroughly pomylsja-popleskalsja. No, nevertheless not the fool was daddy SHarko — a shower perfectly utihomirivaet cleared up nervishki. I have started to sing under streams, clearly catching, despite worthless hearing, in noise their music, continued to be filled in in a low voice with a nightingale, getting on on myself underwear and the form, still purred and leaving from per capita, combing soldier's scanty chubchik: At love as at a little bird wings, Lja-lja-lja-lja-lja! Lja-lja-lja-a-a!. And — was dumbfounded: in the middle our worn-out musty dezhurki improbable in the pink jacket and a light skirt there was Maria Semyonovna Klyuyev, and with the confused smile looked at me. — You??! — I have exhaled. — And we already again on "you"? — She has asked and, obviously trying to overcome confusion, has playfully frowned eyebrows. — and here for your singing you, a companion the sergeant, is not enough to plant on a guardroom! — But how?. — in despair I have looked towards a dispatching fence, to me had no time for jokes: therefrom through glass on us in an emphasis Galina Maksimovna — today as to spite, there was its change was lost in contemplation. Masha puzzly too, after me, has looked at the big-eyed woman: say, what's the matter? I have carried away it faster on street and, rising after it on a ladder, have not choked nearly at last with happiness. Its occurrence here and was right now such fantastic, but such secretly expected unexpectedness. — Masha! — I have exclaimed whisper (for the first time I so it have named!). — you that has not learnt? Same — Galina Maksimovna Sazykina! The wife of the commander of your regiment! — Yes? — Masha not so strongly was surprised. — and we with it also are not familiar. I in general neither from your regiment do not know officer wives, nor from ours. And — thanks God! And you here are better, the friend, tell, why it suddenly a nose not kazhesh? I to you on Remarque's job a burden … Have taken offence the third day, whether that? I zapuntsovel, have withdrawn a sight aside, is moronic zamychal something inarticulate (fie, what vile mot!). The main thing, I did not know, how to it to address. More correctly, I wished to tell-exclaim again: «Masha!» — to embrace-compress her in embraces, to moan passionately: «I so have become bored of you!» — and to begin it is insatiable to kiss, that madness of Monday, but … That's it — rastrekljatoe has repeated "but"! The determination did not suffice. — Masha! — I all the same have screamed and have seized it in fear by a hand: she wished to sit down on a bench and on that place where sat still more recently Ljuba. — we will go … those from here! I thought, it will turn to the first — to the — to an entrance, but we have gone to other party. Already strong got dark. The third entrance had a same bench, it was empty. We have sat down. I painfully thought out a joke with which easy easy conversation would begin. I on the person have pasted already moronic grin also the beginnings was: «the Husband from business trip comes back …» as Masha was developed by all body to me, has put hands to me on shoulders and, is strict zasmatrivaja in eyes, for some reason whisper has told: — It is not necessary! You hear? It is not necessary to behave, as the boy! I that — in love should be explained to you, yes? You that, understand nothing?. I deafened, have clasped it and already absolutely was have dared to kiss, but she — again the first — has nestled to my lips … When I hardly have regained consciousness, my hands were found out under its jacket, on a back, convulsively unbuttoning krjuchochki — I terribly fussed, being afraid, that will stop-will interrupt me. I could not understand in any way where there that, the scene was tightened … Suddenly it, in impatience having pushed away me, has got the hands back, was flexibly bent, has made pair of easy movements and has again nestled to me lips. My hand there and then has slipped under an easy matter and, not having met obstacles, has covered-has compressed a pliable hillock of a breast. Masha has shuddered, was curved in my embraces, groan — whether it, whether mine, whether our general — probably, has forced to shudder tenants of the ground floor. It was terribly inconvenient to sit having bent, with the overwound body. And it did not turn out to start in any way under a jacket at once both hands. I already have extremely grown bolder, I already wanted convenience in caresses, I already dreamt about bolshem … And here me has lighted up, I have recollected — My God, yes as I could forget it! — Masha! — I have jumped. — wait, Masha! Here that, Masha! I have absolutely forgotten, Masha!. The matter is that in a cellar of it, the third, an entrance which was occupied too with ours ZHEU, the red corner settled down — there was dry, there was pure, there was deserted, and there there was a perfect tennis table. Still to steam of hours back we with the partner were cut there in Ping-Pong, and I, as always, nadral it in ten magnificent parties, but not in it an essence, an essence absolutely in other, an essence that from a cellar I so to these also have not given a key, have not handed over to Galina Maksimovne, it, this fine handsome man a key, was laid-was based, smart guy, in a pocket of mine pizhonsko-dembelskoj soldier's blouses, and I needed to get only it and to apply to destination — to open paradise doors where is not present uniform extraneous soul, but there is a magnificent tennis table … I wished to explain all it is to Masha at whom huge eyes in twilight seemed absolutely black and looked at me impatiently and interrogatively. Suddenly its sight has slid off my person somewhere aside, for my shoulder, the intoxicated smile has started to be disappeared-be dissolved with her face, has disappeared at all, and it, hushfully having screamed, hardly has pushed away me. At the very same time someone behind has roughly seized me for a shoulder and jerky has developed. I have looked and — as a muzzle about asphalt: gansy! Rubbishy and ruthless army patrol. * * * Captain Homenko was severe: — You that, komsorg, the sexual giant, whether that? That in account sector spends the night, on a workplace svidanki arranges! I have tried was to explain, as well as the day before gansam, what is it all is casual, what the woman unfamiliar to me from this house wished to invite me for leak elimination in the crane, what I and left without pilotki, a belt and routeing sheet — only to look at the crane … Yes unless to commanders and gansam-swine it is possible to explain-din something? — To listen to the order! — has torn off komroty. — From now on if I learn, that in account sector was — lychki poobryvaju to hell and on a demobilisation to last turn will go. I have warned senior lieutenant Chernova. All is clear? — So! Precisely! A companion! The captain! — That! And in general, give collect otchyotno-re-election — will suffice blatovat … Captain Homenko who hardly has become kinder from my complaisance, something else there to me vtolkovyval, but I already even edge of an ear did not listen. What, I now, leave, Masha at all I will not see? Absurdity any! But with the commander roty definitively it would not be desirable to spoil relations at all, and from it it begins to inform the colleague from the next regiment starleja Klyuyev. Also what then will be? However, I will not palter: I at all was not afraid of husband Mashinogo, and not because I such too abrupt and courageous that is why that was already known-guessed — its Masha on an iota am not afraid. A little it, she at all does not like it! Well, maybe, it is not absolutely perfect, more correctly, it is completely not perfect … Lines, it is shorter than it does not like, that's all! By the way, to me she admitted, that at the first sew to a meeting, in an office of the lieutenant colonel Mild, it as in heart has struck — I the person have reminded it the teacher of the literature in whom it without memory has been enamoured by the first desperate love in 8th class … I should, undoubtedly, there and then as soon as the terrible captain has left an arrangement roty, to send the free man on duty more bright to a staff with a note, I could and call in committee of Komsomol of a part and ask to phone for urgent important conversation zavsektorom the account to Klyuyev, I could … Yes much that it is possible was to think up to talk-zakontachit to Masha and not to get on eyes starleju CHernovu. But instead I have borrowed at kaptyorshchika strangers a belt with pilotkoj and together with staff roty left for a check point and have started wandering in the cellar. Certainly, it would be desirable to be washed under a hot shower after the night spent in the smelly chamber of a garrison lip, certainly, it was necessary to take away pilotku and a belt, by itself, it is better to have a talk personally with chief ZHEU and the master Any concerning yesterday's my sudden disappearance from watch … However at heart I understood, what the original cause lays at all in these trifles, the reason is covered in my strange — with a shade original alfonstva, whether that? — Nature: I for some reason passionately would like, that Masha has worried enough for me in plenty that again itself has found a way with me to meet, that it the excitement for me, the desire me to see, nesmotrja on any obstacles, proved and proved, showed me the love in which I still was afraid to believe … The devil only knows, well it is impossible it is all in accuracy to explain words! I simply felt-felt inexplicable pleasure of that Masha now worries for me, thinks out, as me to meet, simply thinks of me, should think. And I had a presentiment-assumed, what in a hundred times more enthusiastic pleasure, what sincere orgazm (and corporal — that there!) I when Masha will find me when we will meet after a while will test. The right, an anticipation of happiness at times hmelit not slabzhe the moment of happiness. But the main nonsense of the person is concluded that he constantly forgets one simple true: it is not necessary gnevit the God! Further all has swept promptly and as though downwards yes downwards, to a precipice. When after a dinner, having spat upon all alfonsko-strategic prozhekty, I have come tearing along in a part and have equipped the fellow-man on duty in a staff with a note, it has returned soon with unexpected news — committee VLKSM is closed. I have tinkled in 3rd rotu, 8th, 7th … At last, komsorg 2nd roty younger sergeant Ganshin has appeared in a course: Maria Semyonovna from account sector — on the sick-list, at it, seem, the child was ill … Next day I of one and a half change stuck out on a shop before ZHKU - was on duty. It is vain! Then, an hour per four, I have hung up on a shoulder a bag with tools, a miner's lantern, in a hand for presentation took the biggest alligator wrench, have gone to the first entrance, have risen on the fifth floor (Masha has mentioned, that lives under a roof), have called in apartment № 17. The ancient granny has opened. — The sanitary technician called? — I have sadly asked. — The sanitary technician did not call, — in tone to me it is sad the old woman has answered. Because of doors of the next apartment children's crying was distributed. The hand washing has trembled, the call has turned out any confused. It has opened. — What's the matter? — The voice was angry, he tried to pass by inertia the second hand in a ring of braces, has turned back in depth of apartment: is not the doctor! — Excuse, — I am shy kvaknul. — we opressovku make heating systems — it is necessary to remove air stoppers from radiators. — And after in any way it is impossible? — Klyuyev has frowned from the irritation. — And after in any way it is impossible! — I have frowned from the impudence. — Well it is fine, pass … I, however, I leave. There — the wife, will show … He, fortunately, has not learnt me, swearing, has consulted at last with braces, has removed from a hanger kitel, has fitted the starlejskie epaulets on shoulders, has gallantly stuck out at last a breast before the mirror which has burst on a diagonal, promptly left. I would like to hate it, and to me it was for some reason simply to a bulb … From an aperture of a room door Masha looked at me in all eyes. I even have not learnt it at once. Its person so promptly changed expression, that I have absolutely become puzzled: a fright — surprise — confusion — disappointment — insult — a pain — irritation … — Well what for, what for you have come here! — she has almost exclaimed, ploughing more densely a terry dressing gown and trying to smooth a hand uncombed hair. — Opressovku … — the beginnings there was I, but Masha and to listen to me did not become, restricting to a door. — I do not want! I do not want! I do not want, that you all it saw! That you me such saw!. And I — have left. * * * Son Masha was ill almost month. We were caught a glimpse time three near our house. Already zolotilsja with might and main October. It was time to solve something definitively. I up to the end did not understand, that "something" is meant it, but I very much wished to leave this grown hateful closed small town, I have terribly become bored of the darling village, on all family, I passionately dreamt to be prepared and arrive next year in the Moscow university, but I and could not imagine, that to a smog to leave Masha … In one of days when the military station has become empty, I have gone to a staff to zampolitu Mild with final my release of the radio newspaper — following number was prepared already by my relief, the brisk corporal from 1st roty. I have knocked, have heard: «Enter!», — has typed to air in a breast for the report and poperhnulsja: in an office of the lieutenant colonel Masha sat, is absolute on the same chair and in the same pose, as well as two with superfluous a month ago at first our meeting. I have for some reason moved back and have jumped out. I while she leaves have hardly waited. — Masha!. — Wait, now I with Draft will solve all questions, then you to me come … — I cannot to you! To me have forbidden … You to me, on the fifth, in the radio newspaper … — Well, well! In an hour … Its thoughts have been occupied by something another. But hour through one and a half I really held it in the embraces. We tried not to rustle — in the next room, through a partition the regimental photographer lived, us reached its vigorous whistle: it always whistled, showing and looking through films. However, soon we about him have absolutely forgotten. I was thought-was afraid, that such pleasure never will not repeat any more. First we still came off from each other that something to murmur incoherent or simply to look each other in the grown turbid eyes, but then slilis-have incorporated in a continuous any improbable, mad kiss. Both of us, pristanyvali, sobbed and choked. Masha suddenly has impatiently seized my hand and itself has directed it under the sviterok, as though ordering: caress, well caress! Its language, getting into my mouth, forced me to shudder. Our movements have found a uniform rhythm, we kissed and hugged each other all more strongly, all isstuplennee, all more convulsively … Suddenly the shiver has captured its body, it was curved time, another, as though aspiring to squeeze into me without the rest, sdavlenno has sighed, utknulas-was pressed by the person to me in a shoulder, has seized a teeth, constraining groans, and there and then when me has reached, what's happened, I and itself have suddenly felt approach of a hot wave, have had time to scream mentally: «My God!», — and there and then the consciousness has clouded-has obscured intolerably delightful pain … We and stood, having embraced, hiding the person in each other, still to steam of minutes, coming to the senses. Lines!. A horse-radish to itself!. My God!. I also did not know, that such happens!. The table cover ran in krestets. I have moved, trying to be removed, straightened, have disturbed Masha. It was even more strongly pressed in me by the person, deafly, muffledly something has said. — What? — I have not understood. — You have a water in a bathroom? — She for some reason has angrily asked again, looking round with disgust around. — Is, — it is guilty I have answered, — but there the photographer washes out pictures … — A-a! — it has waved is angry a hand, has frowned, straightening a skirt, and has gone to a door. — Masha! — Then! Tomorrow!. I will come, during same time … However, I and most would like to remain in loneliness, to come in myself. And, really, at least hardly it was necessary to make toilet — at me, a stallion stojalogo, hardly probable in boots did not squelch … After a dinner I have spent time in terrible vanity. It was necessary to bargain fine with kaptyorshchikom JAshej, but, eventually, it for a tchervonets has leased me a mattress, a pillow, two almost new bedsheets and a pillowcase. In two steps I managed to drag-forward these bed riches in the staff hole without adventures. Then I, as if pervogodok-salaga, having armed with a rag, have carefully washed a floor, on it have not calmed down — also a window have wiped as have managed. Then undertook to solve a bed problem. More correctly, I vozvyshennee would name it — a problem of a marriage bed. At first I wished to ask for a while one more table for the neighbour-photographer and to design-erect quite monumental construction, but, ripened having thought, have refused this invention: first, will clamber on it ridiculously and not aesthetically, and secondly, from inquiries of the photographer you will not beat off. Perhaps easier to spread a mattress along a wall under a window at the battery, and to fill at once, in good time, bed?. . Thanks God, I from this invention nevertheless have refused. When Masha was knocked next day to me, the curtailed mattress laid on the second chair in a corner, the bed-clothes grew white on him, is modest on something hinting. However, what, to hell, hints! At me there and then, being put into words from a moronic joke, the uterus has fallen: Masha was not one — the first in a room delovo any muzhik has stepped! The muzhik was growth about metre and very brisk. It has thrown up spread wide ladoshku to pilotke and has reported: — Pavlik! To me four years! Masha was in a raincoat, dark brjuchnom a suit, business and planing, despite some confusion. — Here, to say goodbye have come … — How to say goodbye? — I understood, that it would be necessary to ask more hysterically and to worry, but was for some reason unusually sleepy. I as if as had a presentiment of something similar. — Yes I after all have received calculation. Has left. — Cannot be … — I inertly was surprised. — Yes, can! I, the truth, leave! Yesterday and CHernov, and Mild, and the commander of a part my statement have signed … You that you do not believe? — It was felt, it has prepared in advance for explosion for my part and now could not find the necessary tone in any way. — I believe. And where now? — Own calmness amazed me. — In "Frigate", the waitress. In this foolish steppe city which is standing up for tyshchi of versts from the nearest reservoir, the unique tavern was called for some reason as "Frigate". — In "Frigate" the waitress? — Me has obviously jammed. Masha has looked — Pavlik with concentration examined-studied radio equipment in a corner. — I cannot, I can not, to me have bored! You understand? — She tried to speak very much silently, through a teeth. — has bothered to receive eighty roubles a month, has bothered to go on heels on a parade-ground, these hungry soldier's physiognomies around have bothered — I go as naked … — «Soldier's physiognomies» is about me? — Yes is not present, certainly! Cease!. And with you … I cannot here so, understand? I want, that everything was beautiful, is pure … And you all the same very soon will leave … to what all it … She has suddenly put hands to me on shoulders, has hesitated hardly, peering and as if expecting, that I will push away her, and has kissed — strongly, long, painfully. I have not answered a kiss. — And I to a folder will tell! — younger Klyuyev has shouted. I have turned to it to bring to reason, but because of a dense fog in eyes could not see-make out his face in any way. And — to what? To what all it! -To-che! … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … ______________________ * Glikberg — the present surname of poet-satirist Sasha Cherny (1880–1932); Klyuyev Sergey Alekseevich (1884–1937) — known Russian poet. By the way, father Sergey could recollect-mention, as its surname — Nikolaev — in any measure has the direct relation to great Russian literature: it was carried by one of  A.I.Kuprin's characters of the story  "Duel". And more: whether surname Glikberg has the relation to a neologism "glik" in «Julia Roberts»? <<<Glik the sixth Glik the eighth>>>
çç ● èè
© Rosedkin Sergey Nikolaevich, 2001
E-mail: emp-reports@fustercluck.com