- Sergey Rosedkin -
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ME LIKES DZHULIJA ROBERTS Glik 1	I AM AM LIKED DZHULIJA BY ROBERTS THE VIRTUAL NOVEL Background Heart prompted to me — not vstrevaj in this business, it is not necessary … Though, basically, apparently, I after all have not lost anything, on the contrary, — have got. However, the block-glybishcha on heart which as though has in good time felt that will appear extreme, will pay off for this virtual gift of destiny, remained-has hung such extreme — just right most once and for all to disappear from this grown hateful world … However, — all one after another. In the middle of December I by e-mail have sent a file of the new book «Rigid prose» to publishing house "Астрель" where I just had a novel "Drunk". It was necessary to look forward to hearing from Moscow with words badly necessary for me: the offer has interested us, come for the contract conclusion … In expectation and an anticipation I was lost in day-dreams and about advance payment in five hundred, and even in whole as are expressed abrupt, ton zelenopuzyh dollars, and, accordingly, about a celebratory table with cognac, champagne and granular caviar — all taki a millennium! In a word, I with such hot impatience waited from response capital that has chopped off for a while all subscriptions of news which received on e-mail'u. And as lately I have blocked-has scared away practically and all annoying rassylshchikov a spam, and regularly I exchanged soap of all with two-three people on all globe remained as a result alone with an empty mail box. I had enough endurance not to switch on the modem in the afternoon, and in the evenings when, by my calculations, publishers already should send-dispatch all what on is e-mail, I dived into the Internet, started Outlook Express and, as last fool, spending precious on-line time (dollar in an hour!), long contemplated in for the present vague melancholy a mocking inscription-notice in a folder window "Entering": « In the given representation there are no records ». And so — day after day! The millennium inevitably approached, and at me any prospects neither on cognac, nor on champagne, especially, on caviar — it is necessary to meet a new millenium trite vodka, beer and, besides, a liverwurst and plavlenymi synthetic curd cakes … And here, already on December, 31st, before cutting shameful trebuhovuju sausage yes vdarit under it from despair of grammes two hundred fifty opilochnoj a poison, I without any hopes only to spend remained on an input map in the Internet last twenty minutes, was connected, have opened a mail box and have suddenly seen the information on the received message. I have hardly waited, while it will merge in a computer. On zatjanutosti process I have guessed, that the letter drags behind itself the solid trailer. And it has appeared: the information line the paper clip pictogramme notified on the enclosed file, the return address looked so — lamer@mail.ru, and in the column "Theme" appeared laconically: « The text ». Anything to itself! To see — otlup from publishing house with prisovokupleniem my unfortunate file. Though at"Astreli"also there was another e-mail'ovsky the address, but to replace a post server today — two minutes of efforts. However, for a book-publishing firm the Internet name sounded-looked unpresentably, jumorno, even yornicheski — still a teapot would subscribe! In impatience I have cluck with the mouse, have opened the letter and have read: Sergey Nikolaevich! You do not know me, but it is not important. I your namesake, and my surname … Was not present, not important. It is important nothing! It is important, that I have chosen you. Yes more also there is nobody! However, it, maybe, sounds is insulting for you … Wished to erase it, yes — is fine. First, at me is, I read all your Moscow books: both "Siege", and "Kriminal-show", and the latest — the novel "Drunk". But, the main thing, I have just read your "Dostoevsky" who left in our publishing house. So, I know, to WHOM I trust the text. Laugh do not laugh, and I feel a generality of our souls. I even as you will notice, in imitation you use-apply often in the text of "fellow" as I them name, that is — double, linked defiskoj, words. Secondly, about you well responds well-known, I hope, to you poet Teljatnikov Arcady Vasilevich* (however, in a patronymic, maybe, I I am mistaken), with which we prijatelstvuem. Well, and thirdly, as I have learnt from the newspaper, you unique of local writers walk in the Network, have the personal site and the soap address. I have by the way, visited in November on an anniversary of your literary organisation in oblbiblioteke, have had a look on local Clean-bondarevyh, have listened to their speeches-performances — lohi lohami! They, podi, till now a bast shoe sup a Russian cabbage soup … Again I not about that! More shortly — here to you my text. That want with it do. I flatter myself hope, that if you put to it a hand something can and turn out — the story, the story, the novel … I do not know! I know, that the invoice, as they say, it is available, the plot is designated, the mood, tone (I am assured of it) is-is available, and as of all it to make prose — not to me you to learn. I ask not to change only my designation-name of sections — gliki. It is my neologism which has turned out as a result of copulation of words of "cliques" and "glitch". And "glitch" not only in computer sense, but also … in general, you will understand. All! The rest — in a file … On the first lines I, of course, gnevja the God, matjugnulsja. But further me has interested, and a mention of my books and at all blagoraspolozhilo in favour of the unknown Lamer. And that! The novel "Drunk" of all with one month ago left in Moscow and at us in Baranove has only just started to be on sale, and the book about Dostoevsky, published our local university in absolutely ridiculous circulation and it is literally one of these days, and could not call still the response at all, yes here — podi you! Besides, the line about "fellows" should interest: it he so mine dileksemy which to me extremely are pleasant to be invented-thought out, names, whether that?. Accurately having moved-having saved a file in specially prepared for newcomers from Internet space a folder "Quarantine", I have seen, that it has been packed RAR’ом, 700 kilobyte "weighed" almost and was called «JULIA ROBERTS». I have scanned-has checked up it for podstrahovochki on pedikulyoz an antivirus, though my vigilant argus AVP the Monitor in case of what and so would not allow an infectious file zapustitsja-reveal, and — razarhiviroval. The file, having broken through a packing snare, was grew-was distributed in depths of mine Pentium’а almost to two mbyte and grouped in the form of the electronic site-book: everyone "glik" was a hyperlink and to see continuation, it was necessary to click with the mouse for transition to the following page. Besides, continually there were references to pictures-illustrations. So, here this strange text: Julia Roberts Glik the first I, of course, — the madman. Let! That and it is better — though any explanation … However, it is necessary to try from the beginning — ab ovo. Otherwise itself lines will understand nothing. And most it is necessary to classify, razobratsja-ponder all — can, all not so wildly and fantastically how to me mnitsja-seems? And all has begun on March, 6th, 1998 is I has remembered firmly. I have seen for the first time "Beauty". Yes, yes! Before I never and heard nothing about this film, or — paid no attention to the name. Here that means not to have in the house of a video recorder and completely to depend on a telebox, from the external general aerial which allows to catch only the first and second channels. It is more than that, I even Dzhulii Roberts till that day practically did not know a name, did not hear. Well, what to do — loh! In a word, when in the teleannouncement the day before I have heard, that tomorrow, on Friday, the well-known film-blockbuster with the most known and inimitable star of Hollywood Dzhuliej Roberts in a leading role will turn — I have accepted it, naturally, for usual advertising idle talk. To present wildly: I at all also was not going to to look this so impudently advertised as then thought, filmets! Day of 6th March was foolish, nervomotatelnym in the afternoon. Poured-squelched behind a window a never-ending rain, I ran on razmokshim to streets at first in a polyclinic to hand over analyses (something disturbed-wearied a pain in a stomach under a spoon), then a pace back on job — to read-edit a chubby brick of the master's thesis of the post-graduate student with sportfaka: «… round poluprised an arch inside, vykrut a ball outside, heteronymic turn on 360^0 and to pass a ball behind the back in the left hand with a quirk of a return plane of a palm …» I licked-edited this fizkult-delirium the whole week, the author hurried-adjusted me everyday calls is there was first my serious task in publishing house, and I was exhausted very much. When in the half-seventh evenings I have come to be at home, zaljapannyj on a belt a dirt and on the throat affairs-cares has recollected, that to the Anna I and have not bought even a bouquet of mimosas and now it is necessary to get out behind it under a rain tomorrow, in the eve of a holiday. That all these foolish holidays have failed somewhere on figs!. However, the author of dissertation-avralshchik has handed over me in gratitude for works and as indemnification for hassle a bottle of good vodka and allsorts box. Here and ladnenko, I have solved: sweets we will pull out-will show in 8th morning and we will hand over beloved instead of standard mimosas, and vodka today and rasprobuem — we will start in good time a women's day to celebrate, we will cheer up. I there and then, not waiting blagovernoj, have tried "Provincial" on taste, zanjuhal-has had a snack kolbaskoj livernoj, the slice has allocated-cut off to the pervert to Dollar Markovichu (he natural not so willingly eats fish as this shameful sausage — hums directly!), then undertook to make for a supper store pelmeni … Absolutely without scandal to have supper it was not possible: it was not pleasant to my Anna Ioannovne, that I was put to a bottle till a supper, that I was put to it during this, and that I in general unpacked gratuitous "Provincial" — after all for a festively-anniversary dinner then it was possible and not to buy. — Anna Ioannovna, — podeldyknul I, is I out of respect for you, to women-with! I for you am ready to drink always and everywhere, not waiting trite occasions! What kasaemo wastes I, as you know, receive a second month the salary and henceforth I hope to receive, so — really we will not break? — Zarpla-and-atu … — angrily vorchnula my beloved — hates, when I call her "Ioannovnoj". — For your salary you will live, where there! Most that enrages — the rights it, on all hundred rights. And to mind there is nothing. Half a year I went the unemployed after diploma reception filfaka, and here only the second month as it was arranged in publishing house of university with the editor. The salary to me have put, ridiculously to tell … Yes well — and to speak I do not want! However, I have minded: — Well, first, my salary all the same more your postgraduate stipuhi. Secondly, bratan you for honour should esteem and further to us vspomoshchestvovat for, as well as any «new Russian», only returns to us at us and otgrablennoe. Well, and, thirdly, if your Vovan Ivanovich indeed does not say lies as the grey gelding and if actually will present to us by an anniversary a computer I since Monday will start to row money with a shovel — I will type and unpack texts in mbytes and kilotons … Yes, yes, Dzhulija and the computer during my life-destiny have entered practically simultaneously — here in what symbolics and a mysterious code of the further events, here in what an essence. Instead of in our silly, bothered, infinite, senseless and has gone-ordinary quarrels-altercations of two beggars who have got tired from bytovuhi and each other, prematurely growing old people. And after all to both of us was then all on twenty three, and we as lived only five years together, appear, yesterday only we were first-year students, our loose student's wedding rustled, there were mad, sleepless nights with interlacings of bodies exhausting to delightful exhaustion … Though, stop: about "interlacings" I go to far. With «interlacings of bodies» in our family from first days was-was felt naprjazhyonka. Love was, sex was — interlacings and passionate plaints were not. Instead of voluptuousness groans were ohi-ahi fears-fears: as though to us not to become pregnant, yes as though neighbours through a wall have not heard a scratch of matrimonial our sofa-razvaljuhi … Only to put out begun was to inflame quarrel, I and have cut a telebox. We have taken seat it to look in nadutom a spirit condition, especially I — have selected Anna Ioannovna the remained half-bottles, have hidden. When the film has begun, I, stroking murchashchego on my knees Baksika, thought tensely of the: how, under what pretext in kitchen to get out and a frisk-investigation about hundred more grammchikov to arrange? The girlfriend of a life, as always, sat in an armchair behind, knitted an infinite sweater, with concentration snuffled — for it more important-more globally knitting in the evenings and affairs are not present. To a word I will mention: most of all I in my Anna am am amazed with its indifference to the literature, the indifferent relation to the book — reads only under the program, necessarily, never once again in the evenings the small volume will not open. And after all filfak has terminated, in postgraduate study studied, scribbled the dissertation on Sergeevu-Tsensky … Nonsense, absurdity! Dzhulija Roberts first has not made on me special impression. I do not know, whether there was it zadumka with a white wig a successful course of the director or so it has casually turned out, without intention, but I was convinced subsequently: the Dzhulija-blonde if it is possible so to be expressed, less Dzhulija Roberts, than Dzhulija the red-haired. Though, as I already have soon learnt, by nature it was the light brown-haired woman — well, and the nature can be corrected successfully. Has not called first liking, by itself, and prostitutsky image of its heroine — reeling tazobedrennaja gait, a skirt on most I can not, bljadskie jack boots to armpits, a rather impudent ferial sight … But any not clear — painful — excitement I have felt in a scene when Richard Gere comes off, at last, from official papers and starts to look, as a real man, interestedly on impetuously laughing loudly on a carpet in front of TV Dzhuliju. And suddenly as its face as zrimo the laughter in its throat, physically, has started to die-calm down, and here her lips, its improbably big, almost arlekinsky has started to be changed, but the perfect sensual mouth was closed, having extinguished-having hidden up to the end and a smile, and in eyes, in darkness of bottomless pupils there were reflexions of easy disappointment, inescapable shame-confusion and, at the same time, sensations of the force, the power over the male, consciousnesses, that this power in a minute becomes boundless, boundless … And when Dzhulija in a lap, no, even, is faster — on all fours, on-self-whose, it was crept up-has come nearer to Gere, has unbuttoned buttons of the blouse, has shown-has exposed on a review the modest black-and-white brassiere hiding obviously small, absolutely devchonochju breast, suddenly so sharply it wanted, that it took, and has burst out laughing in the person to this damned male-millionaire, again zashtorilas tightly-was clasped, has thrown to it in the person its nasty smelly dollars and with highly lifted head has left on extremely long proud feet away and far away. But instead Dzhulija suddenly it starts to be dug by fingers around a belt and Gere's fly-gulfika, there rassuponivat-unbutton all … It looks to it in eyes and, besides through force as it seemed to me, asks: — What do you want? — And what you do? — It is moronic, most likely because of the doubler, Gere answers. Possibly, he nevertheless asks: — And what you are able to do? — Everything, — trying to be shameless, answers Dzhulija, Vivien is more correct, of course. And hasty specifies: — But I am not kissed on the mouth … And here it is unambiguously declined, all slides lips on its stomach, then more low, more low … I have involuntarily compressed-has squeezed Baksika so, that kotjara the poor has bellowed from a dream and has jumped off, dumbfounded, on a floor. I looked at person Richard Gere which has obscenely gone into eyes from pleasure, nearly pristanyvaja, and to me before was bitter and is insulting, was so something to an aching pain in a groin it is a pity, that I have squeaked teeth. Well, it is fine any sexy eksgibitsionistka Sharon Stone or lewd knot Kim Bessindzher in this scene acted in film — it would be pleasant to look. But this, this Dzhulija — as it there? — Roberts, with its lovely shape, its kind, already completely not shitty eyes, with its ingenuous mouth, its improbable bewitching open laughter — well what for, what for she on such nepotrebstvo has agreed-has gone? After all it all the same as though Odri Hepbyorn in «the Roman vacation» Greg Peku's beginnings a fly to finger-unbutton … Then till the end of a film I sat, having seized armchair armrests as if in the plane flying up infinitely, and asked the God that my Anna did not start talking to me even during advertising pauses-intervals. During other moments I if to continue comparison with plane as if crashed in air holes, nearly to sincere orgazma — when, for example, Dzhulija for the first time left-has seemed without a light wig, have stirred up a head, razmyotyvaja on shoulders a perfect is dark-red mane, and what for, as though apologising, was lovely explained-admitted: «Red!.» Or when it at the lift, being going to to leave before time, after quarrel, but already and having given in on arrangements to remain, speaks to Gere with reproach: «You have offended me? More so do not do …» And especially — when close up showed it angelski beautiful and devilishly clever eyes and when through a voice of the doubler-translator its authentic unusual magical laughter broke: for one this laughter it was possible to fall in love in Dzhuliju not looking! In a word, it has entered-has got into my life, in my consciousness, has filled all my nature with a painful pain-sweet, as if strong narcotic intoxication. My life since the evening on March, 6th, 1998 was divided on "to" and "after" … I have fallen in love in Dzhuliju Roberts — have fallen in love seriously, have fallen in love desperately, have fallen in love impetuously, have fallen in love sumasshedshe, have fallen in love silly, have fallen in love pathologically … Hopelessly! ______________________ * I have changed some names and surnames for clear reasons. Glik the second>>>
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© Rosedkin Sergey Nikolaevich, 2001
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