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- Sergey Rosedkin - |
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ju m about r |
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Main | News | Cut-away | fotobio | Prose | About Dostoevsky | J. Roberts | Humour | Non-fikshn | Criticism | Naked Teens |
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THE UNPRINTABLE EDITION In newspaper edition «Губернскiя a seamy side end pornuha» — letuchka. The Editor-in-chief throws an ardent look gang borzopistsev as shutejno it calls a quiet minute of the lean assistants-podelnikov, scrapes a hardened finger in for a long time not chyosannoj to a beard and bellows: — Asyas?! About narodishke to forget have conceived? About cattle for which our newspaper it is cooked, and?. By the way, spit to that in a mug who «Губернскiя a seamy side end pornuhu» will call ours a parkway newspaper. What it parkway, if in our city of parkways at all is not present? It at us, on the contrary, — a nasty newspaper, for squares at us loads and loads. And so, chevo you, fraera-recidivists newspaper to bungle were accepted. In last number "GCHP" of that has slipped, what clumsy phrase (opens the newspaper and, clamping a nose, finds): «It has killed its knife». Asyas? To that I only learnt you! Here is how it is necessary: «Terribly having shown, it with the chilling I smother shout has seized an enormous terrible hatchet with the jagged edge freezing heart and has stuck into a helpless victim on a handle which has begun to squeal a voice freezing ears! The falls of bloody blood have rushed!» Have truncated? — And it that? — The editor roars further freezing napes subordinated by a voice. — what for it is the flat-bosomed trash on the front page tisnuli, moreover and in such modest position? I learn you, I learn — posiskastee it is necessary, porasshcheperistee on the first. From our newspaper dolzhon zapashok klubnichki podkisshej to curl, that privanivalo salno — the reader-inhabitant dolzhon a musty smell far off to feel, on it dolzhon to run and fork up. — And more! — the editor shouts freezing heels young borzopistsev a voice. — in all number only thirty five typing errors and any other mistakes. You that it, with normal newspapers to be made even have intended? We of that, for lousy yntyllihentov, whether that, compose-write-is cooked? That not less than half-hundred errors ljapali, instead of that!. And sensations give, sensations — pokrovjanee, pozapashistee! — The chief, — shy croaks one of patlatyh gechepistov, — we will guide a chickie-muher, we will be corrected — eyelids of freedom not to see! For following number already and nails are, and shilja — all by. Here, listen (loudly, with emotion reads): «the horror Freezing a body has raised cattleman Alkashova over the earth and has shaken. Volosja it have risen on end. prodryhnuv in the morning with pohmela, yoly-paly, he has seen, that has bumped off namednis lemehom from a plough the wife, the mother-in-law, the neigbour, a dog, two cockroaches and castrated itself …» — And here still: «the Girl-pig-tender of 42th years in drunk charcoal fumes has raped, blja, eight muzhiks izvrashchencheskim in the way, thus they shouted a voice freezing a navel …» And? What, the chief? — H'm, not bad, yoly-paly, I even would tell — klyovo! Move, move with a horn. The Burdock-inhabitant to dumbfound it is necessary, under dyh to it shibanut. The inhabitant noneshny demands one — breads and reading matters!. Letuchka comes to an end. Junkory-gechepisty, blood-thirsty humming, run up in search of bloody sensations. The editor cuts the editorial computer, moves up more close the calculator and begins to line grandmas: how much profits on bread with black caviar have brought to it for last month nasty it gazetyonka yes applications to it — «Black grobik» and "Sex fortuneteller". Profits pleasantly privanivali. |
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© Rosedkin Sergey Nikolaevich, 2001 |
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E-mail: emp-reports@fustercluck.com |
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