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P. 9	Dostoevsky's suicide (Continuation) The chapter III Under a red cap, or the First love 1 In the parental house on Bozhedomke when small Fedja too showed the fervour and supposed what-any volnodumie and sharpness in expressions, strict father severely warned time and again the son: «Hey, Fedja, appease, nesdobrovat to you … to be to you under a red cap!.» Michael Andreevich, by itself, even in the most terrible nightmare could not assume, how much its gloomy prophecy literally will come true. However, despite preliminary fears, Dostoevsky has first met change in the destiny joyfully. Already much later, in Petersburg, in conversation from close acquaintance E.A.Shtakenshnejder the writer will recollect, «as it when, having left penal servitude, went on settlement (that is to a place of soldier's service was happy. — N. N). It went on foot with others, but there was it a transport carrying ropes. He said, that during all life was not so is happy <…>, as sitting on these inconvenient and rigid ropes, with the sky over itself, open space both pure air around and feeling of freedom in a shower …» But also in these exciting hours of relative freedom, on road to Semipalatinsk, Dostoevsky, possibly, recollected, should recollect the young prisoner Sirotkin who has remained in a jail: after all to what intolerable the soldier's service has seemed to that, that it attempted upon suicide twice, has dared then to become the murderer, only to throw off from a head the grown hateful red cap. And what to pull-suffer a soldier's strap to the former officer and a nobleman?. And here that is amazing: neither Sirotkin's history, nor own soldier's biography have not inspired Dostoevsky on art or documentary-memoirs product, among its heroes and there will be no recruit-tell-tale. As if the writer at all would delete-has erased these five Semipalatinsk years from a life, memories, creative luggage. However, there is a mediated certificate in letter Vrangelja to Dostoevsky (1865) that the writer was going to to use impressions of that period: whether «you in your novels Have described ours semip <alatinskuju> a life? You after all were going to it to execute …» But nevertheless soldier's barracks, unlike prisoner, and has not inspired the writer. Why? This secret is great is. As if Dostoevsky would leave-has presented this rich theme to the future generation of writers, first of all —  to A.I.Kuprin. But all the same, at all not having the author's text similar «to Notes from the Dead house», we can make quite full and detailed representation and about the krasnoshapochno-Siberian period of the biography of Dostoevsky. There are memoirs of contemporaries and especially detailed the same  A.E.Vrangelja, was saved and published in PSS more Feodor Mihajlovicha's than eight-ten letters from Semipalatinsk to almost twenty addressees, well and, at last, in some texts of the writer what-any echoes-memoirs about soldier's life-byte nevertheless aukalis-appeared. For example, in article «Knizhnost and literacy» (1861), published in magazine "Time", Dostoevsky writes-tells, how he aloud read to soldiers in barracks any French translation novels and «always made effect reading». (Here when also before what listeners Dostoevsky-reader's literally bewitching subsequently huge halls of refined public by the cracked weak voice skill was perfected!) and further the author of article «Knizhnost and literacy» admits, that reaction of sluzhivyh-listeners «extremely liked it, even before pleasure», it «stopped, asked <…> explanations of various historical names, kings, the earths, commanders …» Agree, if the person recollects pleasure, kakovoe he had to test (and, possibly, — not once), probably, not absolutely and intolerable its position was desperate during this period. It is more than that, nearly from first days of dependent service an ordinary Dostoevsky beret under the protection of very young tell-tale Katz, protects poor zatjukannogo the Jew from sneers and mockeries. In many years, already after death of the writer, N.A.Katz will recollect-write: « All soul I felt, that eternally gloomy and gloomy private soldier Dostoevsky — infinitely kind, surprisingly warm person whom it was necessary to grow fond … »By the way, possibly, this Katz and became in Dostoevsky's creativity by a unique prototype from soldier's barracks — it will flash incidentally in a"Crime and punishment "in an image of the guard tell-tale-Jew from a fire-fighting crew with« eternal grumbling grief »on the person which became the involuntary witness of suicide Svidrigajlova. But now speech yet about that. It is important to underline, that from the very beginning of a life under a red cap private soldier Dostoevsky has appeared among companions on service quite as though on special position. Have played the role and erudition, both the dvorjansko-officer past, and the status of the former convict, and, at last and the first turn, — experience of study-service in Engineering school. Yes, if not hated exhausting lessons-employment shagistikoj-mushtroj in the Mihajlovsky lock and field camps near Peterhof if not bitter experience rjabtsa, and then and the conductor-senior pupil — still it is not known what would be necessary to the writer in gluhomannom Semipalatinsk garrison. Well and, certainly, soldatchina, though also the same penal servitude, but the category more low. Dostoevsky perceived new position optimistically as a step to full freedom, this new position in comparison with former «seemed to it paradise». The most terrible, the scaffold and penal servitude — behind, are gone through. And the main thing, there was a possibility to read another's books and again to write, at last, the, to receive letters, and now it could itself as «simple heroes» its first product, with pleasure to indulge in an epistolary genre: eighty letters is on volume the whole story! And more, without any doubt, that it has found at once patrons in the name of influential Siberian ranks has helped Dostoevsky with its Semipalatinsk life, has found friendship and participation of the people formed and appreciating its literary talent. Destiny, it is visible, has reduced the author of "Double" with baron Alexander Egorovichem Vrangelem — the lawyer, the traveller, the diplomat, which just in 1854-56 served strjapchim on criminal and to civil cases (in a present way — the public prosecutor) in Semipalatinsk. Vrangel has become engrossed in reading of "Poor people» and «netochkoj nezvanovoj», even before departure to Siberia has met  M.M.Dostoevskim and has received from it and  A.N.Maykov letters, books and money for transfer to Feodor Mihajlovichu. It went on service to Semipalatinsk with joyful confidence that will meet personally the liked writer, to the extent of all possibilities will help it. Neither a difference in position, nor an age difference (Vrangel for 12 years was younger than Dostoevsky) have not prevented sojtis-become friends to a baron-public prosecutor with the soldier-politprestupnikom. vozvratjas to Petersburg, Vrangel strove on vyzvoleniju the disgraced writer from Siberia much. Subsequently they continued to keep in touch, from time to time corresponded, met abroad and in capital, but, unfortunately, the life parted them, and in 1873 a thread of their friendship more and more, alas, has broken … However, in a context of our conversation the first is important — Siberian — the period of their relations, and memoirs Vrangelja on Dostoevsky-soldier just very tsenny-are invaluable. So, in what such "paradise" there lived-lived the author of "Poor people» after penal servitude? Semipalatinsk at that time was a semicity-semivillage: 5-6 thousand the inhabitants, one orthodox church (and simultaneously — a unique stone building), seven mosques, one district school, one drugstore, one haberdashery, about book «and to speak nothing — was nobody to read». Newspapers received the person 10-15 in all city, the attention of local inhabitants was occupied a little even with the Crimean war as they «were interested only in maps, with wine parties, gossips and the trading affairs». In Semipalatinsk paved streets were not and to go it was necessary on an ankle in sand. During storms and hurricanes, frequent in Siberia, sand clouds rose in air so "paradise" for certain turned to a hell. Now about a personal "paradise" corner of the exiled of the writer soon it was authorised to them — by way of exception — to get over from soldier's barracks on apartment. Vrangel testifies: «Dostoevsky's Hut was in the most desolate place. Around waste ground, drift sand, neither a bush, nor a tree. The log hut was timbered, ancient, twisted on one side, without the base, grown into the earth, and without a uniform window outside <…> Dostoevsky had one room, big enough, but extremely low; in it the twilight reigned always. <…> All room has been smoked and so is dark, that in the evening with salnoju svechoju — stearin then were bolshoju luxury, and illumination by kerosene did not exist yet — I hardly could read. As at such illumination Feodor Mihajlovich wrote to night without a break, resolutely I do not understand. There was still a pleasant feature of its habitation: cockroaches flights ran on a table, walls and a bed, and in the summer especially fleas did not give rest … » Certainly, and to Albert Enshtejna all on light was rather. Life-bytyo in similar conditions, apparently, well in any way it is impossible to name "paradise", however by that it did for the yesterday's inhabitant of prisoner barracks and absolutely still recent — soldier's sensation of freedom which arose from a solitude, from silence, from possibility without hindrances to read and write-create. But here, literally by the way, it would be desirable to note-underline one strangeness. Feodor Mihajlovich never could brag of health (about what it is necessary to mention-speak yet time), and in the course of time, with everyone new and, as a rule, a heavy stage during his lives, its bouquet chronic hvorej all expanded and blossomed magnificent colour. But as nadsazhival it the sight night wearisome sidenijami at a candle candle end over books and manuscripts in barracks of Engineering school, in a Peter and Paul Fortress casemate, in prisoner hospital and here in a Semipalatinsk izba, and then and till the end of days (literary nights!) the in a house office, but its eyes, fortunately, for some reason maintained such tsiklopicheskie overloads, it did not use points. However, once, already after Siberia, in the letter from Tver from November, 11th, 1859 he will complain to Michael: « Eyes are ill me, to be engaged is resolute I can not at candles; all is worse and worse ». Ahead there were twenty more just over years of night vigils at candles, — has sustained!. But we will return to Semipalatinsk. Here what has seen for the first time the author of "White nights" Vrangel: «It was in soldier's sulphur of an overcoat, with a red high collar and red epaulets, is gloomy, with painful-pale face, covered with freckles. Light-brown hair were close-cut, growth it was above an average. Steadfastly inspecting me the clever, grey-dark blue eyes, appear, he tried to glance to me in soul, — that supposedly I for the person?.» (Nevertheless it is necessary to peer into Dostoevsky's eyes, so to say, once again. Vrangelju they have seemed grey-dark blue.  V.S.Solovyov confirmed in memoirs, as if they at the writer «light brown».  A.E.Rizenkampf has remembered, that eyes Feodor Mihajlovich had colours grey. And here And.  G.Snitkinu have amazed at the first meeting of an eye of the future husband with variety of colours: « … they were different: one — brown, in other the pupil is expanded in all eye and raduzhiny is imperceptible. This duality of eyes gave Dostoevsky's to sight any mysterious expression ». One eye at the writer became black owing to treatment by atropine after the trauma which have happened during an attack of an epilepsy, — and Anna Grigorevny's this explanation quite logically and clearly but why during the different periods of a life of Dostoevsky and different people, communicating with it it is literally tête-à-tête, perceived its sight in different colours? If to recollect a saying« Eyes — a soul mirror »and if to remember amazing ability of the author« Notes from an underground »vzhivatsja-reincarnate in the heroes really it is possible to believe, that its eyes had property to brighten or darken depending on with what soul of the hero its own soul … at present was combined) So, Dostoevsky enjoys poslekatorzhnoj relative freedom literally. Almost daily it happens at Vrangelja, has dinner «amber sterlet uhoj», or comes in the evening as Alexander Egorovich recollects, «to drink tea — infinite glasses — and to smoke mine" Bostanzhoglo "(then tobacco firm) from long chubuka». Moreover, frequently Feodor Mihajlovich was not simply in good mood, and is direct in the cheerful. During this period he conceives, and soon and will write the most comic, most mild things — «the Uncle's dream» and "Village Stepanchikovo". The new friend, naturally, is devoted in creative plans, becomes the first listener still oral variants. Vrangel recollects: «It was in infectiously cheerful mood, laughed loudly and told to me adventures of the uncle …» But also it is not enough of it. During this period Dostoevsky takes a great interest and at all to it unusual and if it is possible so to be expressed, cheerful employment: for example, helps Vrangelju to grow up on its summer residence a garden-kitchen garden. To the people representing the author of a "Crime and punishment" on a known portrait of a brush  of V.G.Perov, difficultly and to imagine-present its such by what it was remembered to its Semipalatinsk friend: «the image of Feodor Mihajlovicha assiduously helping me to water young sprouts, in sweat of the person was brightly embodied at me, having removed soldier's an overcoat, in one print waistcoat of the pink colour which have faded from washing <…>. It ordinary was all is absorbed by this employment and, probably, Dostoevsky in Semipalatinsk, and — Chekhov in Yalta … found in this pastime great pleasure …» Directly not However, after all and it yet all! Vrangel has persuaded Dostoevsky to try and riding from what that long otkazyvalsja-refused. In it to "the Children's fairy tale» there is a scene, when the Small hero with reckless and desperate boldness jumps on half-civilised mustang Tankreda to amaze the liked lady, and does not perish nearly in mad gallop. The author, certainly, has lost-has gone through all this episode in imagination, represented also itself, a skipping mad pace on a hot wild racer … Alas, Vrangel testifies, that in a role of cavalryman Feodor Mihajlovich "was ridiculous and clumsy", however riding was pleasant to it, he has begun to enjoy, and soon two of them have started to make long walks in steppe, and even is absolutely improbably! — few times Dostoevsky participated and in hunting. Well, how it is possible to imagine the author of "Poor people» the hunter, so to say, in role Turgeneva or L.Tolstoy — with a gun, aiming in the live being, killing creature Bozhiju?. By the way, in memoirs Vrangel has dropped by the way strange enough remark on indifference of Dostoevsky full ostensibly to beauty of the nature: «… they did not touch, did not excite him. It all has been absorbed by studying of the person, with all its advantages, weaknesses and passions». Here the author of memoirs in essence almost literally repeats  N.N.Strahova's statement  , which else for two ten years to it, in the memoirs (1883) wrote: «Feodor Mihajlovich was not the big master to travel; it did not occupy especially neither the nature, nor historical monuments, works of art, behind an exception unless the greatest; all its attention has been directed on people …» Strange opposition! About attention to monuments and works of art — conversation special but as though it is necessary or to be interested only in the nature, or especially only homo sapiens’ом. Certainly, Dostoevsky not Livingstone, not Przhevalsky, not Shishkin and even, besides, not Turgenev (if to mean its glory as the singer of the nature), but it would be ridiculous and ridiculous to confirm, for example, that the attention of the author of "Notes of the hunter» was absorbed supposedly only by beauty of the nature, and the person «with all its advantages, weaknesses and passions» occupied it a little. Under the relation to the author of "Brothers Karamazovyh» similar absurd as is visible, quite admissible … And in general, how there can be indifferent to the nature a person for whom the most delightful memoirs of the childhood are connected with the days spent in village? Probably, because of "indifference" to the nature Dostoevsky with such pleasure pottered in a garden on summer residence Vrangelja, made with it long riding walks for a city, then all life at the first possibility aspired to be pulled out from stuffy Petersburg in country Pavlovsk, to Staraya Russa, dreamt infinitely of own small manor in a countryside. The writer "indifferent" to the nature creates in a gloomy casemate of the Peter and Paul Fortress product — the present hymn to the blossoming nature («the Small hero»), — under which the same would subscribe all recognised prirodoljub and naturalist Ivan Sergeevich Turgenev. And here as what "indifference" directly blows from next lines from «the Dead house":" Ashore it was possible to be forgotten: you look, happened, in this immense, deserted open space precisely concluded from a window of the prison on freedom. All for me here was expensive and lovely: and the bright hot sun in the bottomless dark blue sky, and a far song of the Kirghiz <…> you Will make out any bird in dark blue, transparent air and long, persistently you watch its flight: it was rinsed out over water, has disappeared in blue, has again seemed hardly a flashing point … Even a poor, sickly flower which I have found early vesnoju in a cleft of stone coast, and that somehow has painfully stopped my attention … » And let's look Dostoevsky's Siberian letters. In the most first message to brother Michael after an exit from a jail he writes, that Omsk — «disgusting small town» and not in the last instance because — «it is few trees». And already from Semipalatinsk, describing the brother the new inhabitancy, he especially underlines, that though round a city and «pure steppe», but in several versts — «a pine forest, on many tens, and there can be, and hundreds versts», — and details: «here all a fur-tree, a pine yes vetla, other trees are not present. Whether game darkness …» the person indifferent to the nature Began to notice, what trees grow in suburban wood? And what remark about game! The person still never in a life on hunting happened, just it is necessary to it to feel such pleasure of recognised judges-fans of the nature (and to be convinced, what is it terrible employment not for it), and here podi you — «game darkness»!. However, that spears to break, when Feodor Mihajlovich almost on a life decline, in February release of "the Diary of the writer» for 1876, in the autobiographical story-were "Muzhik Marej" it was unequivocally wrote-admitted: «And anything in a life I so did not like, as wood with its mushrooms and wild berries, with its small insects and birdies, hedgehogs and fibers, with its crude smell of redecaying leaves so liked by me. And now even, when I write it, to me and the smell of our rural birch forest was heard: these impressions remain for all life …» Well and more it is possible to recollect, how later, already in the same «the Diary of the writer» "indifferent" Dostoevsky not once or twice brought up a question on barbarous destruction of woods in Russia (see more in detail:   Rosedkin N.Minus Dostoevsky. Dostoevsky and «the Jewish question»). It would seem, the question on love or Dostoevsky's indifference to the nature is not necessary so steadfast attention, but it not so. We Will recollect-will repeat: the writer since a youth choked in a city literally, was weighed upon it, felt in Petersburg as if in a gloomy crude stone casemate. We will get a grasp attentively next lines from its early story «Weak heart":" There was already full twilight when Arcady came back home. Having approached to Neva, it has stopped for a minute and has thrown a penetrating glance along the river in a smoky, is frosty-muddy distance, suddenly zaalevshuju last purple of the bloody dawn which was burning down in mgljanom a sky. Night laid down over a city, and all immense, swollen from the frozen snow a glade of Neva, with last reflexion of the sun, was showered infinite miriadami sparks of thorny hoarfrost. There was a frost in twenty degrees. Frozen steam brought down from the horses tired out to death, from running people. Compressed air shivered from the slightest sound, and as if giants, from all roofs of both quays rose and rushed upwards on the cold sky smoke pillars, being weaved and untwining in road so, appear, new buildings rose over old, the new city developed in air. . It seemed, at last, that all this world, with its all tenants, strong and weak, with their all dwellings <…> in this twilight hour resembles a fantastic, magic dream, on a dream which in turn and iskuritsja the ferry to the dark blue sky immediately will disappear. Any strange thought has visited a deserted companion poor Vasi. <…> He as though only has understood now all this alarm and has learnt, paternal has gone mad its poor, not taken out the happiness vasja … » The Japanese researcher of creativity of Dostoevsky Kennoske Nakamura in this occasion fairly notices: «Petersburg in« Weak heart »– a city plunging Arcady in a condition when ²hochetsja umeret² …» we Will add from themselves – and many other things Dostoevsky's heroes and it is very frequent, it is possible not to doubt, him! From Dostoevsky's other, later products it is possible to result examples-samples of even more terrible Petersburg landscapes which are as though a latent antithesis to descriptions of eternally live and updated nature. It is one side of the problem. The second consists that the Nature (from the big letter) took very important place in Dostoevsky's philosophical system, in a question on immortality of soul and existence of the God — about what speech at us will be ahead in more details. For now again we will return by the period to lives of the writer when he worried as though a rebirth. 2 Soon there is an epoch-making event which first and at all transforms a life of the disgraced writer into an original holiday — the first love. It has come to it late, but its heat, maybe, from it was brighter. Before penal servitude the author of "Poor people» could test only hobby for Avdotya Jakovlevnoj Panaevoj which he has easily gone through. Now not that! Maria Dmitrievna Isaeva, under the certificate all the same Vrangelja, was «beautiful enough blonde of average growth, very thin, nature passionate and excited. Already then the ominous flush played its pale face, and some years later the consumption has carried away it in a tomb. It was widely-read, enough obrazovanna, is inquisitive, good and This woman is unusually live and impressionable …» has amazed Dostoevsky and appearance, and intelligence and, it appears, not in the last instance here with this most consumptive romantic flush. It began to vanish literally in house Isaevyh on the whole days. Husband Maria Dmitrievny, the person silent, quiet, too consumptive and strong drinking, could not serve pomehoju in development of their novel in any way. Vrangel assures, that-de the love from party Isaevoj any was not — she only «has regretted unfortunate, hammered sudboju the person». And further the memoirist even with any bitterness ascertains: Feodor Mihajlovich has accepted pity for love and itself has fallen in love without memory. Vrangel wrote the memoirs after quarter of the century after Dostoevsky's death, already knowing all its creativity. Really he has forgotten, how were able to like and how the hero-story-teller of "White nights", Ivan Petrovich in «Humiliated and offended», Razumihin in a "Crime and punishment", prince Myshkin in "Idiot", SHatov in "Demons", Dmitry Karamazov, at last perceived love? For these heroes, as well as for their founder, the main thing was — to like most, to live this all-consuming feeling and to be given to it entirely with all heat of heart and soul without the rest, up to death. And if the love subject at least does not reject their feeling, does not push away, and, on the contrary, answers though in any measure reciprocity — let it is called as compassion, pity, respect, is already pleasure and happiness top. Certainly, Dostoevsky knew-saw, should know (yes Maria Dmitrievna and said about it directly), that the beloved of his head does not lose: from the poor husband-propojtsy (and it at that time, on present speaking, was also the unemployed) it could not leave to too beggar in any way, deprived of civil rights, sick and is perfect, as then it seemed, to the unpromising writer. However, at the beginning the novel already one dialogue, everyday meetings, affinity with this unusual woman to Semipalatinsk measures has transformed for Dostoevsky soldatchinu into a paradise life. But, here the paradox, with arrival of the first love rolls on it and a new wave of self-destructive thoughts and moods. As we remember, one-way love and jealousy — very significant suicide reasons for too impressionable and nervous natures. And here still soon, in the end of May of 1855, less than in a year after the beginning of their relations, husband Isaevoj receives a service place in the city of Kuznetsk, for five hundred versts from Semipalatinsk. Vrangel testifies: «Dostoevsky's Despair was boundless; it went as pomeshannyj at thought on separation from Maria Dmitrievnoj; it seemed to it, that all for it in a life was gone. <…> I never will forget a scene of separation. Dostoevsky sobbed navzryd, as the child …» Kind friend Alexander Egorovich has pumped up Isaeva champagne that "pigeons" could be excused without hindrances. After wires driving off far for a city have come back home at a dawn. «Dostoevsky has not lain down — all walked and walked on a room and something spoke with itself <…> laid all the day long, did not eat, did not drink and only nervously smoked one tube for another …» What improbable pity, that from Feodor Mihajlovicha's all intensively-feverish correspondence with Maria Dmitrievnoj of the involuntary separation period (and the poor grieving soldier wrote to Kuznetsk almost every day yes in day!) Dostoevsky's only one and only letter — from June, 4th, 1855 was saved. But also on it it is possible to make quite prestavlenie about heat of its passion: «… Only of you also I think. Besides, you know, I am hypochondriac; can judge my trouble. <…> Rasprokljataja destiny! I look forward your letter. Ah, kaby was with etoju pochtoju <…>. If you know, to what degree I was deserted here one! The right, this time is similar to how me the first time have arrested in forty ninth and have buried in prison, having torn off from all native and lovely (anything to itself analogy! — N. N) . I so have got used to you. I never looked at our acquaintance, how on ordinary, and now, having lost you, about much have guessed by experience. <…> you were to me my native sister. One that the woman has stretched me a hand, already was the whole epoch in my life. <…> my heart always was such property that adheres to that is lovely so should be torn off then and krovenit it. I live now absolutely alone, to disappear to me absolutely there is no place; here all has bothered me. Such emptiness! <…> I will once wait your letter! I so worry! <…> farewell, unforgettable Marja Dmitrievna! Farewell! After all we will meet, isn't that so? <…> farewell, farewell! Really we will not meet. Your Dostoevsky ». It is necessary to consider, what is it the letter is written to another's wife, moreover and with probability of perusal by her husband — from here both "sister", and lines about "dear friend" and «the kindest soul the person» Alexander Ivanoviche (which we for economy of a place have reduced), and very much constrained vypleski feelings. It is possible to present only, what passions raged in Feodor Mihajlovicha's later letters-messages to Maria Dmitrievne — already to the widow, then the mistress of young Kuznetsk teacher Vergunova and, at last, the bride. However, in any measure about it we can judge under Dostoevsky's letters to Vrangelju which in the end of 1855 makes long office trips to Biisk and Barnaul, and at the very beginning of 1856 leaves Siberia to Petersburg and, to our happiness, will carefully save all messages of the friend-writer from the Semipalatinsk reference. To Biisk Feodor Mihajlovich informs Alexander Egorovichu sad, but for it podspudno — that there to palter! — and a message promising iridescent matrimonial prospect about death in Kuznetsk  A.I.Isaeva. Death of the poor creature has followed on August, 4th, 1855, is equal — to the day — in a month after a writing of already quoted letter of Dostoevsky to Kuznetsk in which it presses strong a hand to Alexander Ivanovichu, kisses it, names the brother and wishes-advises that to be on a new place porazborchivee in people, not to drive friendship with dirty drinking companions and expresses hope, that "brother" will not become angry about these wishes … Isaev neither to become angry was not in time, nor to use druzhesko-brotherly councils of the contender. And at Dostoevsky soon as already there will be a new contender and besides "brother" —  N.B.Vergunov. If the writer has not told subsequently in the art form and it is very convincing about similar mutual relations between contenders in the novel «Humiliated and offended», it would be simply impossible to believe in it. A love triangle in the book (Ivan Petrovich — Natasha Ihmeneva — Alyosha Valkovsky) in accuracy repeats-copies a vital love triangle (Dostoevsky — Isaeva — Vergunov). Multiwise not on age  N.A.Dobrolyubov, assorting-reviewing the novel «Humiliated and offended», will bilious drop concerning Ivan Petrovicha's strange love: «That for kurichi feelings!.» The highly experienced 25-year-old critic of "Contemporary" doubted, that the real person in the valid life could test similar feelings. He did not wish to believe, that the author «Humiliated and offended» — not the romanticist, not the sentimentalist, and the realist of pure water, and did not know, that Ivan Petrovich in many respects is the autoportrait and autobiographical hero (see more in detail: Rosedkin N. N  . The Hero-writer in Dostoevsky's world). Let's recollect, that else in "White nights" the sketch of a similar subject course is made as though: the hero-story-teller voluntary becomes the intermediary between the beloved and the happier contender. Then, in 1848, it really there was young Dostoevsky's imagination on a theme of strangenesses of love. And here destiny as if accompanying the writer, has thrown to it a similar vital situation that in «Humiliated and offended», and later and in "Idiot" it could recreate painful mutual relations of heroes, being guided by personal painful experience. So, to Semipalatinsk doporhnuli disturbing messages about a prospective new marriage of widow Isaevoj. Dostoevsky writes at this time (on March, 23rd, 1856 ) Vrangelju the vast letter — more than ten pages of the close text overflowed with complaints, fears, despair and powerless damnations on bitter sudbinu. And, it is necessary to underline, speech still goes not about real contender Vergunove who objavitsja-will appear later but only about Maria Dmitrievny's hints and hearings-gossips from Kuznetsk. Here some fragments from this letter-hymn of unfortunate escaping love: «I notify you, that my affairs in position extreme. La dame (la mienne) longs, despairs, it is sick constantly, loses belief in my hopes, in the device of our destiny and, that is worse than all, is surrounded in the small town (it has not moved yet to Barnaul) by people who will make something very bad: there there are grooms. Obliging scandal-mongers are broken off on a part to incline it to marry, pledge a word to someone which name else I do not know. <…> I foresaw, that it hides something from me. <…> also what? Suddenly I hear here, that it has pledged a word to another, in Kuznetsk, to marry. I have been amazed as a thunder. In despair I did not know what to do, have started to write to it, but on Sunday have received and from it the letter, the letter affable, lovely, as always, but reserved even more, than always. Less former heart-felt words as though are careful of them to write. Is not present and pominu about future our hopes as though thought on it it is perfect otlagaetsja aside. Any full disbelief in change possibility in my destiny shortly and at last thunderous news: she has dared to interrupt reserve and shy asks me: ²chto if there would be a person, elderly, with kind qualities, the employee provided and if this person does to her the offer — that to answer it? ² she asks my council. <…> asks to discuss business coolly as follows the friend, and to answer immediately <…> adds, that she likes me, what is it one still the assumption and calculation. I have been amazed as a thunder, I have reeled, have fainted and have cried all night long. Now I lay at myself <nrzb.>. Motionless idea in my head! Hardly I understand, how I live and that speak to me. About, do not give My God to anybody this terrible, terrible feeling. The pleasure of love, but suffering is great so are awful what is better never to like. I swear to you, that I have come to despair. I have understood possibility something unusual, on what another time never would dare … (it is allocated by us. — N. N) I have written it the letter in the same evening, awful, desperate. Poor! My angel! It and so is sick, and I have torn to pieces it! I, maybe, have killed its this letter. I have told, (and again we will allocate-will underline! — N. N) that I will die, if I will lose it. Here there were also threats and caresses and the humiliated requests, do not know that. <…> But judge: what to do was to it, poor, thrown, painfully hypochondriac and, at last, lost all belief in the device of my destiny! After all not for the soldier to leave to it … » Here there is a reasonable question: it is to a clod Feodor Mihajlovich explains-justifies Maria Dmitrievny's behaviour — Vrangelju or? Further he starts to repeat persistently, besides trying, most likely, to assure itself(himself), that she only its and likes one, that its decision on a marriage in Kuznetsk is in the project and that still, possibly, it is possible to change … But to calm-utishit itself it does not turn out in any way, and Dostoevsky splashes out again all other-wordly unfortunate despair on a paper: «<…> Now that to me to do! Never in a life I took out such despair... Heart the melancholy deadly, sucks dreams, vskrikivanja at night, throat spasms smother me, tears that will be locked persistently will rush a stream. posudite and my position. I the person fair. I know, that she likes me. But what if I oppose to its happiness? <…> to Refuse to me it it is impossible in any way, in any case. The love in mine of summer not a whim, it proceeds two years, hear, two years, in 10 months of separation it not only has not weakened, but has reached absurd. I will be lost, if I will lose the angel: or I will become crazy, or to Irtysh! (Again we will allocate-will underline extremely multisignificant recognitions for our conversation! — N. N) <…> I am ready to give my life for it and would refuse all my hopes in its advantage. <…> understand, what is it for it the death and  destruction to marry there! <…> It in position of my heroine in «Poor people», which leaves for Bykova (have predicted I to myself!) … » Between complaints and plaints the letter is filled prozhektami the suffering enamoured soldier about a cardinal reorganisation of the status quo: how to be pulled out by means of the Petersburg influential acquaintances from soldatchiny, how to start to be printed at least incognito (and any finished product also in pomine is not present!) How to get money that "otkupit" the living in misery Maria Dmitrievnu from the compelled marriage … And all hopes of the disgraced writer in connection with these plans-prozhektami are connected first of all with it, its expensive friend and the confidant, Alexander Egorovichem. (By the way, here one more strangeness: despite strong, apparently, the friendship full doveritelnost and at times other-wordly frankness in relations, Dostoevsky with Vrangelem addressed to each other only on "you". And in general, during all life Feodor Mihajlovich communicated on "you", except for the family if to judge under the saved letters, only from  A.N.Pleshcheevym,  C.C.Valihanovym,  A.A.Grigorevym, moreover, possibly, with D.  V.Grigorovich. It is possible to agree quite with  I.L.Volgin, that Dostoevsky all his life and especially last years practically did not have «close and secret friends».) But we will continue, is more correct — we will finish, at last, letter-confession reading: «<…> my Smart guy! I write you all it for this purpose that you operated with all heart and all soul in my advantage. As on the brother I hope for you! Otherwise I will reach despair! To what to me a life then! I swear to you, that I will make then something resolute! (Again it is necessary to underline! — N. N) <…> Rescue me from despair! <…> Do not leave me! After all such circumstances as mine only time in a life happen. <…> regretfully I finish the letter; now again I one with my tears, doubts and despair … » Undoubtedly, to Dostoevsky these gloomy days and sleepless nights, at infinite o'clock of meditations, despair to tears and the deepest melancholy (and conditions: neujut a poor dark room, sepulchral silence, cockroaches!.) in breaking from thoughts and a pain a head the thought on suicide not once or twice flew. At least, persevering unambiguous exclamations in his letter it is obvious about it testify: «I will die!.», «I will be lost!.», «to what to me a life then!.», «Or I will become crazy, or to Irtysh!.» It is possible to guess only as as about it he wrote in Maria Dmitrievne's letters. And more: Feodor Mihajlovich in this message Vrangelju some times underlines, that it any more the boy, that to it already 35 years, therefore its love not a whim, is liked by him not as the youth and at it «prudence will suffice on 10». And besides there is a belief, what is it Dostoevsky not Vrangelju explains, and to itself, trying again and again as though to recollect the image not the boy, but the husband. Also it is not excluded (we will dare to dream up realistically!), that if the destiny has sent to Dostoevsky such intense love drama to a scaffold, before penal servitude, to days of its youth, when it only because of prospective failure with the first product was ready to rush to Neva (the letter to Michael from May, 4th, 1845 ) business could come to an end extremely tragically for Dostoevsky, for Russian and world literature. Somebody can imagine the world literature without a "Crime and punishment", "Idiot", "Demons" and «Brothers Karamazovyh»?! 3 And meanwhile, the social status were petrashevtsa starts to raise … <<<(P. 8) (P. 10)>>>
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© Rosedkin Sergey Nikolaevich, 2001
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