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P. 12	Dostoevsky's suicide (Continuation) PART THE SECOND The chapter IV Rebirth 1 The most fatal epoch in Dostoevsky's life — last third of the terrestrial term, released to it the God was came-has begun. It and itself just vaguely represents-has a presentiment, that he can tell in the literature the, absolutely new word. «Great pjatiknizhie» he behind a distance of future time yet does not see even in the project. In 1860 it costs just at the crossroads, and, unlike the fantastic hero, before it not three roads, and — uncountable set and on what to go, everyone, most likely, conducts in deadlock of secondariness, repetition, mediocrity, uncertainty and oblivion. It is necessary for it to choose only the — virgin, almost on impassability — a way. On the first steps it operates-goes still shy, uncertainly, to the touch. In a working writing-book the creative plan-task to itself — «In 1860 year pojavljaetsja-snatches: 1) the Minion. 2) Spring love. 3) the Double (altered). 4) Notes the convict (fragments). 5) Apathy and impressions ». That is, Dostoevsky intended to compose two new novels (or to lead), cardinally to alter, as for a long time already dreamt, "Double" to whom gave especially important place in the creativity to finish-issue chapters 1 of memoirs on penal servitude over which worked as parts in Siberia, and to write article or a number of articles about the current literature — this thought at it too rodilas-was cherished in Semipalatinsk. From "Minions" and there was only one name, and further business has not promoted — then, the truth, something from this plan has entered in «Humiliated and offended». From «spring love» plans of four "varjantov" plot developments were saved in a working writing-book: the novel should be about the love, some it fabulnye lines have been cast by Semipalatinsk impressions-memoirs, and as a push to a plan novel Turgeneva «a nest Of noble family» has served. Subsequently the separate moments of this plan were included also into the novel «Humiliated both offended». And article critical or publicistic under the planned name has not appeared. But here points of 4th and in any measure of 3rd is, that is called, hit in an apple: here Dostoevsky has planned-has designated that direction with what it has been intended by Destiny to it and only to it to go. Someone can be surprised: at what here "Double" — after all new, its capitally altered variant and was not born? Correctly. But to us that the writer understood-knew the importance of this product for the creativity is important and correctly defined its key site in the second birth-debut. And in 1840th years the story about mad Goljadkine, appeared at once after «Poor people», has proved-has confirmed legality of claims of the young author on a special place in literary hierarchy, on its doubtless and original talent. Has proved, maybe, even not so much to reading and criticising public, switching on and Belinsky, how much to Dostoevsky. Now, on a threshold 1860, correctly having defined, that a role of "Poor people» at a new stage «Notes from the Dead house» as though will play, it has staked out a place and for new "Double", for product of similar scale and value. And, eventually, Dostoevsky's efforts in this direction will lead through any time to creation-occurrence «Notes from an underground». Yes, from the publication «Notes from the Dead house» which will shake all reading Russia literally, and occurrences after «Notes from an underground» in which roots plans-ideas of all without an exception of great novels of Dostoevsky leave, and there was an authentic rebirth of the writer, its second brilliant debut has taken place really. However, it is time to moderate tone, to muffle fanfares. Dostoevsky's genius already does not require proofs, its magnificent literary career is known to everyone homo-more-less-sapiens, studying Russian literature at least in high school, and furthermore at institute. But owing to the authority which has settled and defined already of Dostoevsky-classic the majority of people assume and even are assured, as its all life-biography, both in creative and in personal plans, at least — after Siberia, proceeded without a knot and zadorinki, on ascending, from success to success. By the way, it not only with Dostoevsky occurs, it almost is occurred-happens to all classics. For the majority of us Pushkin is represented the such merry fellow, the fan of champagne and women, the duelist and the gambler who has run in in the literature on thin legs and, joking, with ease, in breaks between noisy junkets, nakatal ten books-volumes of legible verses and prose … But the poet, the artist — too the person and anything human is not alien to it. Including — sufferings. And, the writer — talented and the more so ingenious — tests-worries sufferings in immeasurably stronger degree-concentration, than we, cheloveki ordinary, terrestrial. The creator the already gone through sufferings worries more and more time not only in memoirs, but also at the moment of creativity together with the hero these sufferings he will go through-will bear as painfully, as once and in reality. Flaubert's exclamation: «Madam Bovari is I!» — not an empty phrase. L.Tolstoy's recognition, that at the moment of the description of death of Ivan Ilicha he and itself has not died nearly, — too not imagination, Lion Nikolaevichu can be believed. It is possible and to tell more: to the same Lev Tolstoi, either Dostoevsky, or Chekhov to die, if it is possible so to be expressed, gorshe, obidnee, more hard, than to any Peter, Ivan or Sidoru, — how much was not in time! How much plans remain! And, especially, to the genius, the creator to dare at suicide incomparably it is heavier, than to the same Kishinev grammar-school boy who was hung up in a class on a nail from «a red board» and about which speech at us went to 1st parts. The poor boy has extinguished devstvenno-pure, not burdened with knowledge, experience and thoughts the consciousness is simple because of fear before punishment, for intolerable children's insult. The person of scale of Lermontov, L.Tolstoy or Dostoevsky, having dared at suicide, should dare and at destruction together with the consciousness of the whole world, whole only it the created Universe, kakovuju it yet and has not up to the end opened-has presented all to mankind … However, we will interrupt on it given small as though one more introduction in a theme — already to the second part of research — and we will continue. 2 On character Dostoevsky since young years was always unsociable. But in 1860 such dramatic change of conditions has worked on it zhivitelno and pjanjashche. It as if from a gloomy unbearable galley has got at once on life ball. Despite happened before departure from Tver annoying illness, in Petersburg it has appeared the good fellow. And.  P.Miljukov who for ten years before saw off together with his brother of the writer-petrashevtsa to Siberia, has appeared and among the meeting Dostoevsky at station. He has noted: «Feodor Mihajlovich as it seemed to me, has not changed physically: he even looked as though more vigorously former and has not lost any the usual energy …» By the way, Dostoevsky carried then only moustaches and as it looked — it is quite possible to present one on a Semipalatinsk photo of 1858 on which Feodor Mihajlovich with the officer moustaches and in a uniform has acted in film together with C.Valihanovym. And here it «absolutely soldier's, that is the demotic person with a huge forehead and perfect eyes» (  N.N.Strahov) saw that in literary salons, in editions of newspapers and magazines, even on an amateur theatrical scene where Dostoevsky has artistically played a role of postmaster SHpekina in well-known pisatelsko-litfondovskom performance under the play gogolja "Auditor". Dostoevsky renews relations with old familiar writers — Grigorovich, Nekrasov, Turgenevym, Druzhinin, Goncharov … It gets acquainted with many new writers already known by then — Pisemsky, Chernyshevsky, Krestovsky, Vejnbergom, Minaev, Insurance, Grigoriev … It is literally in the first put after arrival to Petersburg Dostoevsky has been switched on in the list of the persons offered by committee of the Society for the grant to requiring writers and scientists (Litfonda) in members of a society. Already through three with small month at the next session of committee Litfonda he suggests to accept in members of the Society of brother N.  M.Dostoevsky and the Siberian companion, the Kazakh educator, the traveller, historian C.C.Valihanova — offers-recommendations of the writer have been accepted. And at the very beginning of 1862 it select not only in committee Litfonda, but also its secretary … It is possible to present, with what enthusiasm yesterday's Siberian compelled anahoret has plunged into this whirlpool of a socially-literary life. But the most important thing, certainly, that in these the first poslesibirskie years, in this Petersburg five-years period Dostoevsky tests unusual inflow of creative energy. One behind another from under its feather are products absolutely different in a genre: memuarno-publicistic «Notes from the Dead house», the socially-realistic novel «Humiliated and offended», the story-sketch «Nasty joke», feletonno-travelling «Winter notes about summer impressions», filosofsko-polemic «Notes from an underground», the story-lampoon "Crocodile". We will add on here also critical and publicistic articles-notes of the writer of first half 1860th years which in meetings of his compositions occupy the whole volume including such, very significant for Dostoevsky-artist's understanding, its creative and civil belief opening talent of Dostoevsky of the critic, the polemist, the parodist and the satirist as: « A number of articles about Russian literature "," Two camps of theorists "," Mister Schedrin, or Split in nihilists »and others. But if memoirs on penal servitude have been unanimously highly appreciated at once, already following product, «the Petersburg novel» upon which it rested the big hopes (better «Poor people»!), has been apprehended far not unequivocally. Reading public has concerned to «Humiliated and offended» enthusiastically, and magazine "Time" circulation not in the last instance thanks to the publication of this novel promptly grew, and here opinions of critics of special pleasure to the author did not deliver. And, these professional readers too praised Dostoevsky for humanism of the maintenance and fascination of a narration, but thus grumbled, that-de «Humiliated and offended» — «below aesthetic requirements» ( N.Dobrolyubov), «do not maintain the slightest art criticism» ( E.Tur), in them it is a lot of «knizhnosti and feletonizma» (Ap. Grigoriev) etc ., etc ., and so forth How it is close to heart Dostoevsky accepted similar responses, it is possible to judge by its recognition-note which it after three with superfluous has accompanied year memoirs Strahova about died Ap. Grigoriev: « I will absolutely confess, that in my novel it is exposed many dolls, instead of people, that in him walking books, instead of the persons who have accepted the art form (on what time and vynoska ideas in mind and in a shower was required really). While I wrote, I, certainly, in a job heat, did not understand it, but only unless had a presentiment. But here that I knew likely, starting then to write: 1) that though the novel also will not be possible, but in him there will be a poetry, 2) that will be two-three places hot and strong, 3) that two most serious characters will be represented quite right and even is art. This confidence was from me enough. There was a product wild, but in him is from fifty pages of which I am proud … »And further Feodor Mihajlovich, having given all what only it is possible a modesty tribute, allows to pour out from under the feather and a phrase filled with advantage and reserved author's pride:« Product it has turned, however, on itself some attention of public … » You will involuntarily think — if the same of Evgenie Tur (E.  V.Salias-de-Turnemir), considered haughtily, that-de «Humiliated and offended» «do not maintain the slightest art criticism», instead of the chubby "art" novels ("Niece", and so forth) would write «Three time of a life», has created only one product of level and the importance of it of "the Petersburg novel» Dostoevsky, it any more would not be now so strongly and is hopelessly forgotten … However, criticism, even the most unfair, to Feodor Mihajlovicha's despair did not lead up — it was a part of that literary life-krugoverti to which it with such impatience stremilsja-was torn from the Siberian silent backwoods. And for any writer not so the most devastating criticism, as is burdensome full hushing up of its creativity is terrible even. And, to Dostoevsky, with its passion of the polemist, from its constant ogljadkoj on another's word, it was necessary to have possibility constantly to be in the centre of so-called literary struggle, to have the tribune. It simply strained to be in action. The birth-occurrence of the new magazine "Time" which official publisher-editor Michael Mihajlovich appeared, but the present brain and edition heart became natural result of these passionate aspirations also, certainly, at once there was Feodor Mihajlovich. Its most delightful dreams of a youth age and the ostrozhno-Siberian period of own magazine have come true. However, this carried out dream had also a back. We come back to the note of the writer to memoirs Strahova on Grigoriev. Than it has been called? The matter is that the memoirist occupying one of the important places in edition of "Time", has switched on in these memoirs and Grigoriev's letters to it from Orenburg. Apollo Grigoriev from first numbers of "Time" became in him the leading critic, but "has suddenly dispersed" from brothers Dostoevskys and for the whole year has left to Orenburg, having received there a place of the teacher. And so, in one of letters Strahovu with which it continued to keep in touch, the poet-critic has noticed: «Followed not exhaust, as a post horse, F.Dostoevsky's high talent and to care, protect it and to keep from satirical activity which will definitively ruin it both literary and physically …» Feodor Mihajlovich, having carried this judgement to «Humiliated and offended», it was as though justified in the note to article Strahova, but also with bitterness has been compelled to recognise: « If I have written the satirical novel (in what I will confess absolutely) I am guilty in it and one only I. So I wrote also all my life so has written everything that is published by me, except the story "Poor people" and some heads from "the Dead house". Very often happened in my literary life, that the beginning of the head of the novel or to lead was already in printing house and in a set, and the termination sat in my head, but is indispensable should to be written to zavtramu. <…> it is final, I am guilty that all life so worked, and I agree, what is it very badly, but … » This significant «but …» not we break the citation, — so at Dostoevsky. And what he could write-explain still after that «but …»? Awful, inhuman, abnormal and terrible conditions to which he wrote-worked all life — to change it was impossible. It could ascertain only with pride bitterness, that «uniform from writers our, were and living, did not write under such conditions», and that «Turgenev would die of one thought» (from the letter to And.  V.Corvin-Krukovskoj from June, 17th, 1866). These extreme conditions of creativity have not ruined Dostoevsky as Grigoriev was afraid-prophesied, "literary", but here "physically", undoubtedly, — yes. Creativity in itself — process extreme. Feodor Mihajlovich itself put in general in zapredelno extreme conditions, tearing the physical and mental health. It, as if the hero of "the Shagreen skin» so Balzac highly honoured by it, voluntary and quite meaningly killed itself(himself) (samoubivalsja!) — let slowly, but it is correct, — exchanging health and a life on possibility of realisation of the next ingenious plan. And, more and more time should be underlined: such game rules, as well as in «the Shagreen skin», were vsenepremennejshim a condition. Hardly, for example, the novel a "Crime and punishment" would become a "Crime and punishment" if it pisalsja-was created as, for example, "Oblomov" Goncharov — slowly and with arrangement within ten years. Goncharov had a temperature of creativity, at Dostoevsky — the, 10 times more. Otherwise it could not. And perfectly realised, that Goncharov or Turgenev «would die of one thought» to work «under such conditions». However, Feodor Mihajlovich also realised also that, as for it «such conditions» do not pass for nothing. It was necessary to pay for immortality in a life. 3 It is time to dwell, at last, upon sacred illness of the writer — epilepsies, paduchej or as it name in the people, — black nemochi. It by then if it is possible so to be expressed, sformirovalas-has developed already quite and has accepted regular and natural character. Set of the people who have left memoirs on Dostoevsky, wrote and about its main illness. One — according to the writer, another could observe attacks personally. We will address to begin with to the certificate such cool, judicious, observant and it is a lot of years of close knowing writer of the person, as —  N.N.Strahov: « Illness attacks happened with it approximately once a month <…> But sometimes though very seldom, were more often; happened even on two attacks in a week. <…> the attack presentiment always was, but could and deceive. In the novel "Idiot" there is a detailed description of sensations which are tested in this case by the patient. I could witness times as there was with Feodor Mihajlovichem an attack of ordinary force. <…> late, to hour per the eleventh, it has come to me, and we have very briskly got to talking. I can not recollect a subject, but I know, what is it there was very important and abstract subject. Feodor Mihajlovich was very much animated and has walked on a room, and I sat at a table. He spoke something high and joyful; when I have supported its thought any remark, he has addressed to me with the inspired person showing, that its animation has reached the higher degree. It has stopped for a minute, as though searching for words for the thought, and has already opened a mouth. <…> Suddenly its open mouth left a strange, lingering and senseless sound, and it without feelings has fallen on a floor among a room. The attack was not this time strong. Owing to spasms all body only was extended yes on corners of lips foam has seemed. In half an hour it has come to the senses … » Let's notice, that Fears underlines-marks is there was usual, not a strong attack twice. But even owing to such attack of the patient lost memory and day two-three was in absolutely helpless condition. Not speaking about bruises and traumas at falling. Under such circumstances Feodor Mihajlovich also has hurt once seriously an eye what at it was already mentioned. And how then the strong attack of an epilepsy looked-proceeded? Running a little forward, we will call in witnesses And.  G.Dostoevskuju — to it for 14 years of a joint life with the writer could see-worry innumerable quantity of times aggravations of illness of the husband. But this attack — the very first what has happened on her eyes — a fuse in its memory on for the rest of the life in all details. And there was this misfortune on the first week after their wedding, yes besides in the most improper place — on a visit at relatives of the young wife. Really, Feodor Mihajlovicha's destiny developed on a spiral: other major events in his life had property to repeat at other time level up to trifles, before significant detailed elaboration — that only there is a double literary debut with deafening success of "Poor people» — «Notes from the Dead house» and misunderstanding of "Double" — «Notes from an underground» … As to Dostoevsky's two weddings-marriages here coincidence it is simple pugajushche are amazing. Wedding from  M.D.Isaevoj has taken place on February, 6th, 1857, and for the ninth day, on February, 15th, there is with it an epilepsy attack in another's house, on a visit, which of fatal image has frightened newly married. And it is equal in ten years, to the day, on February, 15th, 1867, Dostoevsky gets married with And.  G.Snitkinoj … And as if any latent dark memoirs-associations in subconsciousness newly married would razbudilis-be stirred up, and in ten days the Nature has as though reminded it of the past, has punished for such careless rapprochement-combination of fatal dates by the strongest explosion-eruption epilepticheskogo a volcano again in another's house, on a visit. «… Feodor Mihajlovich has been extremely recovered also something interesting told to my sister. Suddenly it has interrupted stop short the speech, has turned pale, has half-risen from a sofa and has started to bend in my party. I with amazement looked at its changed person. But awful, inhuman shout, was suddenly distributed more correctly, the cry, and Feodor Mihajlovich has started to be declined forward … <…> I have clasped Feodor Mihajlovicha for shoulders and siloju have planted on a sofa. But what my horror when I have seen was, that the insensible body of my husband slips from a sofa, and I do not have forces it to keep. Having removed a chair with a burning lamp, I have given the chance to Feodor Mihajlovichu to fall on a floor; I too have fallen also all time of spasms held his head on the knees. There was nobody to help me: sister washing was in a hysterics, both my son-in-law and the parlourmaid strove about it. Little by little spasms have stopped, and Feodor Mihajlovich began to come to the senses; but at first he did not understand, where is, and even has lost speech freedom: he all wished to tell something, but instead of one word said another, and it was impossible to understand it. Only, maybe, in half an hour we managed to lift Feodor Mihajlovicha and to lay it on a sofa. It has been decided to allow to calm down to it before us to go home. But, to my extreme grief, the attack has repeated an hour later after the first, and this time with such siloju, that Feodor Mihajlovich more than two hours, already having come in consciousness, in a voice shouted from a pain. It was something awful! <…> It was necessary to us to remain to spend the night with my sister as Feodor Mihajlovich has extremely grown weak, and we were afraid of a new attack. What awful night I have spent then! Here I have seen for the first time, kakoju strashnoju illness Feodor Mihajlovich suffers. Hearing its shouts not stopping by hours and groans, seeing deformed from the suffering, the person absolutely unlike it, madly stopped eyes, at all not understanding its inconsistent speech, I have been almost convinced, that the my dear, liked husband goes mad, and what horror was directed at me by this thought!. » But also it yet all with coincidence! Rovnyohonko in ten years, again to the day, on February, 26th, 1877, there will be with Feodor Mihajlovichem an attack "considerable enough", as if auknulsja by an anniversary a wedding attack of 1867. Dostoevsky, the truth, will not notice such significant coincidence, fixing attack date in a working writing-book. However, to it had no time for that is Anna Grigorevna notices, that the depressed and suppressed mood at the husband proceeded more than week and results its recognition-definition: he felt these burdensome days so as if has lost-has buried the closest, expensive person. And Fears, in turn, according to Dostoevsky, testifies, that that was after attacks in extreme melancholy and felt-felt itself «any criminal» as if has made any «great villainy» and over it «the unknown fault» gravitates. Anna Grigorevna some times exclaims-underlines — she tested what horror during the moments of attacks of the husband. And what to speak about Feodor Mihajloviche! Even Turgenevu, to the person absolutely to it it is sincere not close, not native, Dostoevsky absolutely frankly admits: «If you know, in what melancholy there is I sometimes after attacks on the whole weeks!.» (From the letter from June, 17th, 1863.) and in letters to the family it and at all was frank, shared with them torments and fears-fears for the life: «the Main reasons (trip abroad. — N. N) two: 1) to rescue not only health, but even a life. Attacks began to repeat every week, and to feel and understand clearly this nervous and brain frustration has been intolerable. The mind really rasstroivalsja, is a true. I felt it; and frustration of nerves lead up sometimes me about mad minutes …» (  to A.N.Maykov. 16/28/August, 1867 Geneva.) «… paduchaja eventually will carry away me! My star dies away, — I feel it. Memory washing is absolutely dulled (absolutely!). I do not learn more persons of people, I forget that has read yesterday, I am afraid to go mad or run into idiocy. The imagination overflows, works randomly; at night I am am overcome by nightmares …» (  to S.D.Yanovsky. 1/13/—2/14/November, 1867 Geneva.) «I am afraid, whether has beaten off at me paduchaja not only memory, but also voobrazhene. The sad thought comes to mind: that, if I am not so capable to write more …» (And.  G.Dostoevskoj. 16/28/June, 1874 Ems.) It only a scanty part of recognitions-fears of the writer fixed in his letters. But also from them becomes clear, that in due course Dostoevsky has started to be afraid not so much of sudden death during the next attack, it in deadly despair the thought-melancholy on memory full of loss, madness, idiocy, ability loss how much resulted to create. And these fears-fears confirmed-strengthened the doctor: they quite reasonably considered, that the epilepsy is progressed-amplifies because of extreme and even hysterical cerebration of the patient. Doctors advised to it in general to stop to write-sochinitelstvovat, that for it was equivalent to suicide. In the letter to one of familiar (L. Century Golovinoj) from Ems where it was treated on waters, Dostoevsky, informing, that local doctors insistently advise to it «to care of calmness of nerves <…> not to strain at all intellectually, as small as possible to write (that is to compose)» and then-de he can «live long enough still», — bitterly sneers: «It, certainly, has absolutely encouraged me …» But, it is more than that, the writer did not wish to make a compromise, so to say, with terribly dangerous black nemochju even in particulars. So, it, of course, knew, that at the epileptic the attack can happen at the sight of an attack at other patient. It can occur also if the person, suffering an epilepsy, about it constantly thinks, wait during the certain periods-moments of an aggravation, persistently to recollect already happened attacks. And what Dostoevsky does? It not only in letters describes-fixes the attacks, but also allocates with this illness of the heroes (nelli, prince Myshkin, Smerdjakov) and even describes-recreates in products of their scene epilepticheskih attacks. To present only: the artist for the sake of creativity is voluntary risked-agrees to call itself an attack, then week, and even it is more to be-stay in muchitelnejshej to melancholy and prostration! Yes such analogy will be excused to us, but the condition of the patient-epileptic after an attack can be compared, possibly, with the strongest hungover syndrome (that is familiar to the majority of us!) or, even more precisely, — with fragile the addict. Only, if the alcoholic or the addict suffers intolerable torments, stays in mortal melancholy and dreams of death, about suicide of all days, a maximum two the unfortunate captive black nemochi should suffer such borderline several times longer. What thoughts visited the inflamed suffering tired brain of the writer in these inescapably painful hours and days?. In "Idiot" epileptic Myshkin in conversation with maidens Epanchinymi begins the story about other patient-epileptic who was treated with it together in Switzerland, and suddenly informs what for: «it had attacks, it was sometimes uneasy, cried and even tried to kill time itself …» And almost there and then the prince svojrasskaz-memoirs on this epileptic trying, probably, after the next attack to commit suicide, suddenly breaks, starts to tell absolutely other history. Whence, why this epileptic-suicide in Myshkin's story, in the text of the novel "Idiot" pojavilsja-was jumped out? Whether this incoherent fragment is autobiographical? Yes here, however, and to guess there is nothing: describing the heroes-epileptics, Dostoevsky, naturally, incurred in any measure and a prototype role. To whom as not to it was to know a condition, feelings, dreams and aspirations of the person worrying periodically immersing in utter darkness … And even if doctors hid something, did not finish speaking, Dostoevsky fine knew, what consequences its painful illness could have. In 1847 the book «Applied medicine has come out. Lectures private-therapeutic», where known doctor I.E.Djadkovsky (by the way, the schoolmate of father Dostoevsky on Mediko-surgical academy) wrote about an epilepsy: «Smertiju terminates or through a hemorrhage in a brain <…>, or through the exhaustion of forces happening at often repeating attacks». Dostoevsky then, before penal servitude, could read these lines for already suspected at itself an epilepsy, named then rather still easy attacks, giving a tribute to black humour, — «kondrashkoj with a breeze», in addition and studied the special medical literature for the authentic description of the mentally sick heroes in "Double", "Mistress" and other early products. And more one important moment-stroke: as it was already spoken, at times attacks at Feodor Mihajlovicha happened and in public, at strangers — and it is possible to imagine, what paroxysms-spasms of hopeless shame and disgust for were tested by him, realising it still the dulled consciousness, coming to the senses after epilepticheskih spasms. With its imagination it not that that is clear, vjave, it even in the hypertrophied superrealistic kind represented-saw itself(himself) as though from the party. Even in vospominatelnom Anna Grigorevny's almost art story about an attack of the husband of an aesthetics it is poorly, and here is how it is looked-is looked epileptichesky an attack in a dry medical statement: «The big convulsive attack — falling with sudden loss of consciousness and tonic spasms (the body strains, extended), and then klonicheskimi spasms (repeated reduction) all body is most typical. <…> at a tonic spasm the person is strongly compressed, thus the patient bits often tongue. Owing to reduction of all respiratory muscles breath stops, there is a cyanosis, especially persons, a k-plenty becomes bluish-black (from here the national name of this illness« black nemoch »). Simultaneously with occurrence of spasms of the patient loses consciousness and falls. In 20—30 seconds continuous convulsive reduction of all muscles of a body is replaced by its rhythmic twitchings (klonicheskie spasms). Thus the patient can fight a head and a body about a floor, causing to itself of damage. Klonichesky spasms proceed 1—2 minutes and then stop. At this time the foamy saliva quite often painted by blood as a result prikusyvanija of language follows from a mouth of the patient. Sometimes happens involuntary othozhdenie urine and kala (exactly, as at the suicide-viselnika! — N. N) … » What to live to the person — moreover to the creator, elect Bozhiemu, the genius! — with constant comprehension, that at it in immediate prospects: or a hemorrhage in a brain and thereof sudden death, and even a paralysis; or «epilepticheskie twilight» (insanity); yes plus to all all time to be waited-be afraid, that the disgusting and is humiliating-shameful attack happens-will occur on eyes of extraneous public. Here necessarily you will reflect … In its correspondence, not speaking about art texts, the death theme takes a constant and visible place. And as! Death — its companion, its constant and eternal shade as about it not to remember, not to be interested in it. Certainly, all of us are mortal, and the overwhelming majority of us — are suddenly mortal. But to the person, not suffering or another similar — mortally dangerous — illness, it is peculiar-is given to be disconnected by an epilepsy from pogibelnogo fear. Dostoevsky remembered death always. Here, for an example, characteristic in this plan its letter to Moscow to the wife of the companion, doctor Yanovsky —  A.I.Schubert from May, 3rd, 1860. Informing Alexander Ivanovne of news about acquaintances to it the Petersburg writers, Dostoevsky writes and about sudden death of young writer Snitkina which played together with it in "Auditor" still more recently, on April, 14th, during this performance has somehow caught a cold and has died suddenly of a fever. There and then Feodor Mihajlovich bethinks, that Schubert of it Snitkina does not know, but, probably, it so the sudden death- destruction young (30 years) has amazed the person, that he could think of it even after three and a half a week. Yes that there weeks — even in some years at acquaintance to the future wife it nearly will first of all be asked-will take an interest, whether it is possible to it the relative this died And.  P.Snitkin. But Dostoevsky's absolutely unexpected remark-assumption to the address of another young, then just beginning writer is even more remarkable in this letter to Schubert: «surprisingly strange there are sometimes impressions! All seems to me, what Krestovsky should die soon, and why this impression? And itself I can not solve …» V.V. Krestovsky to whom was during that time of 20 years, will be still active to co-operate in the future magazine of brothers of Dostoevskys "Time", will write-will create «the Petersburg slums», «Panurgovo herd», «Darkness Egyptian» and other popular novels, will become famous and will go through Feodor Mihajlovicha almost for fifteen years … Thanks God, concerning Krestovsky Dostoevsky was mistaken. Fortunately, during this period he also was mistaken, when also predicted-predicted a near death. And it did it more often and even with any, the right, masochistic voluptuousness. Well, good, the stepson should be brought up-made sober from youthful frivolity, to force to think of the future, to accustom to independence, therefore a phrase-prevention in the letter to it: «I anyway for a short while will suffice», — looks quite pertinently, sounds logically. And here in the letter to brother Michael from Moscow (on April, 9th, 1864 ) where Dostoevsky has taken away the sick wife, it, promising to give out-write for magazine the story and article to term, adds: « It I answer for with the life if only I will not die ». Anything to itself — has assured-has calmed the brother-editor! And, it is felt, here already by humour, even superblack, does not smell is there was the hardest period in Dostoevsky's life-destiny (at Maria Dmitrievny the agony practically has already begun) so its head has been overflowed by thoughts about death. But also the most severe irony of destiny-fate was showed what not the one who wrote-predicted itself(himself) fast sudden death, and the one to whom it has been written-is addressed, that is — Michael Mihajlovich, in three months will exactly lay in a coffin … And meanwhile, Feodor Mihajlovich continued to tempt the destiny and with any even a coquetry wrote-was frank, for example, in the letter to N.  P.Suslovoj in April of 1865: «At you now a youth, a youth, the life beginning — what happiness! <…> and I — I finish a life, I feel it …» However, about a coquetry is only to us, to extraneous people and immodest readers of another's letters, mnitsja-seems. Actually, if to put itself(himself) to the place of Dostoevsky, in position in what it has come to be at that time not that that about the life end to think-write — just right and at all to commit suicide: death of the wife, after the brother, crash of magazines, the passion-love ending-agony … Yes, not without reason the letter on a presentiment of the end of the life was written to Hope prokofevne — younger sister Apollinarii Suslovoj, the meeting with which became for Feodor Mihajlovicha and happiness, and death. It was, that is called, fatal love. 4 It, this love, only for a short instant has returned Dostoevsky by a happy sanguineous life … <<<(P. 11) (P. 13)>>>
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© Rosedkin Sergey Nikolaevich, 2001
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