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P. 5	Dostoevsky's suicide (Continuation) 3 But here it is necessary to return hardly back and to recollect, that Feodor for half a year before hardly was has not killed own "father". The matter is that in the letter from October, 30th, 1838 the son has been compelled to be informed-admit the father: examinations in algebra and fortification it has ruined (intrigues, bias!) and as a result it is kept in the same grade. Michael Andreevicha this message has literally struck and as he informed in the letter to daughter Vare, it hardly was has not died: at it the body left-hand side has started to grow dumb, the strong dizziness has opened, and only in time appeared in time in Gratuitous of next Zarajska the medical assistant has bled and at the last minute has rescued his life. Not absolutely clearly, why doctor Dostoevsky could not start up to itself blood, but it not an essence important. It is important, that if so sharply and the father Feodor, it is possible to present easily has tragically apprehended educational accident of the son, and has at all run into despair. Its echoes sound-slip in the letter to Michael, written next day after the message to the father: «… I am not translated! About horror! As early as year, the whole year superfluous! I would not rage so if did not know, that the meanness, one meanness has deposed me; I would not regret, if tears of the poor father did not burn down my soul. Till now I did not know, that the offended vanity means. I would redden, if this feeling has seized me... But you know? It would be desirable to crush all world for once … <…> The Brother, sadly to live without hope... I Look forward, and the future terrifies me... I rush in any cold, polar atmosphere where the beam solar … »did not creep Rather seductively in the tideway of sew themes to assume, that young Dostoevsky here conducts speech about suicide, about the suicide dreams, however directly to confirm it while nevertheless we will not be. Though for heroes-suicides of its future products suicide just also is more often the certificate «razdavlivanija all world for once». Well and, for example, such transatlantic dostoevskoved as Mark Slonim, even directly and with conviction confirms: «young Dostoevsky's Pessimistic moods accept often character of an inclination to suicide …» And as an example the researcher results even more "theatrical" and abstract lines from Dostoevsky's other letter in brother Michael (from August, 9th, 1838): «But to see one rigid cover under which the Universe pines, to know, that one explosion of will it is enough to break of it and to merge with vechnostiju, the nobility and to be as last of creations... Awfully! As the person is cowardly! Hamlet! Hamlet!.» (We will remember this exclamation-mention — the name of the Shakespearean hero yet time then will appear in texts of the writer.) «The inclination to suicide» during this period of a life of Dostoevsky carries, more likely, the book romantiko-poetic, theatrically-distracted character. It is thought, to late Dostoevsky most would be ridiculous to read other lines from this letters to the brother where he writes about desire to crush all world for once and that the future at it is not present: «… but here already and former my dreams have left me, and my wonderful arabesques which created there is no time, have dumped the gilding. Those thoughts which the beams lighted soul and heart, have lost now a flame and warmth; or my heart has become hardened or... I am terrified to speak … To me terribly further to tell, if all past was one gold dream, curly dreams …» However, a special mention there is what during this period young Feodor really faces for the first time the real fact of a suicide – the nearest companion of brothers of Dostoevskys poet Ivan Shidlovsky just in December, 1838 has rushed from unfortunate love to an ice-hole of Fontanka. The unfortunate romanticist, fortunately, has been rescued by casual passers-by, but it is possible to present, what shock was tested by Dostoevsky, itself repeating about «squaring of accounts with a life». He, as writes in the letter to the brother (on January, 1st, 1840 ), gives moral support to the suicide-loser, spending with it the whole evenings in conversations. Clearly, that the author of future "Mistress" (and Shidlovsky will serve as prototype Ordynova) in these conversations has tried to get to the bottom of roots of suicide thoughts of the companion, trying on its revelations on itself. And more one can be assumed likely and firmly: all these gamletovskie romantic threats to themselves and the Destiny to commit suicide, if only it appears absolutely senseless and intolerable, would take shape by all means very soon in firm belief, and then and in action if Dostoevsky suffers shattering crash on the first steps of a literary field. rasplyovyvajas in the autumn of 1844 with military career in its most beginning definitively and irrevocably, refusing voluntary from the firm state salary (kakovoe numerically had directly ominous, devil, a kind – 66 rbl. 66 copeck) Leaving, in a modern way speaking, on free breads, dooming itself(himself) on poverty and uncertainty of the future, it has staked not only the Destiny, but also a life. And here during this period when «Poor people» just sozdavalis-were born from under its feather, and all depended on success or failure of this literary debut, Dostoevsky starts to mention in letters on suicide already absolutely, as they say, quite seriously, without fools. For example, on March, 24th, 1845 he writes to Michael: «So the matter is that I all it (absence of money. — N. N) I wish to redeem the novel. If my business is not possible, I, maybe, will be hung up …» Here, of course, it is necessary to mention (and further about it we will talk more in detail), that the literary success or failure directly has been connected with poverty or a prosperity, and this factor too rendered rather enormous influence on self-destructive thoughts. The destiny of the writer-loser frightened Dostoevsky, resulted it in a condition of painful melancholy. Besides, the thought is especially intolerable, that in the literature and in general in art it was possible to ruin destiny, to be lost even in the presence of talent. Exclamation «I will be hung up!» Has slipped in the letter to the brother from March, 24th completely not casually. In a postscript Feodor mentions, that has the day before read in "Invalid" about German poets, «starved to death, to a cold and in a madhouse», and to it has become terribly. Really, A.Veis's note «Poets in Germany"("Russian invalid». 1845. 22 mar.), speech in which goes and about composers, was capable to sadden a soul condition to any beginning creator: « Lessing has died in need … Schiller never had 1000 fr <ankov> to go to look at Paris and on the sea. Mozart received only 1500 fr <ankov> salaries, having left after death 3000 fr <ankov> to a debt. Beethoven has died in extreme need … Gyolti, the pure poet of love, gave lessons on 6 fr <ankov> in a month to have a bread piece. Has died young — has poisoned. The burgher knew continuous struggle with nuzhdoju. Schubert has spent 16 years in the conclusion and has terminated madness. Grabbe, the author ingenious «Faust and ²d <he> ZHuana ², in literal sense has died from hunger of 32 years. Lents, friend Goethe, has died in extreme need … Writer Zonnenberg has shattered to itself a skull. Klejst it was shot; Lesman it was hung up; Rajmund — the poet and the actor — was shot. Louise Brishman has rushed to Elba. Charlotte Shtiglits has pinned up itself a dagger. Lenau it is brought to the house mad». Certainly, in the then Russian validity of such mass  destruction of poets (in the broad sense of the word) from poverty it was not observed yet, but to explain it simply: first, in Russia that time noblemen, people more or less provided, and secondly, professional, on free breads were engaged in the literature and music basically, poets practically were not. Unless the beginning Nekrasov, but also it did the rate not so much on the literature, on creativity, how much on publishing in what soon and has succeeded. (It is clear, that in the given context Gogol, which though also veins-existed on these most free breads, but basically for the bill elicited for it Zhukovsky imperial tips is not mentioned.) So young Dostoevsky has appeared on this siliceous way the trailblazer. And no wonder, that it compared the hypothetical destiny with tragical destinies of German creators-proletarians. Here therefore he with such devout conviction also declared in other letter besides to Michael (on May, 4th, 1845): «Instead of I will attach the novel, so, maybe, and to Neva. What to do? I already thought about all. I will not go through my death idée fixe …» The thought on suicide as it was already mentioned, has terrible property: time-two having flashed in consciousness in the form of a gloomy joke, romantic dream, it comes back again and again, getting more and more persevering, exacting and just ideefiksovyj character. The person gets used to think of suicide, gets used at first to thought on possibility, and then if anything does not stop it, — about necessity and, at last, inevitability of such easy exit from any vital deadlock. Besides, the unfortunate suicide absolutely forgets last life experience or meaningly tries to forget, that before the deaf deadlock at the approach to it closely appeared every time only the next turn, and the new wide and long way-corridor to a vital labyrinth ahead opened. And so, young Dostoevsky was more and more involved in this dangerous game with own consciousness and own will: it came back and came back to dangerous self-destructive thoughts though passionately wished to live and terribly did not wish to die early and suddenly. He, for example, was afraid letargii and left notes before a dream with the prevention — in case of its "death" not to hurry up it to bury, that there was no awful error. And at the same time Dostoevsky continually is easily scattered in letters by suicide threats — I will be hung up, will be drowned, I will be lost … That is amazing, it and after doubtless success of "Poor people», after the fruitful beginning of professional literary activity, after brilliant realisation of the podrostkovo-youthful dream (to become the known significant writer) any more forces to get rid of thoughts on suicide. He repeats and repeats in letters to the brother-confidant, that it is pressed by intolerable melancholy, and that he with pleasure now would die (for example, letters of the beginning of September, 1845 and January-February of 1847). And in the letter from March, 31st, 1849, some days prior to the arrest, to the publisher of "Domestic notes»  A.A.Kraevskomu at whom it then on advantage also was printed, Dostoevsky, finding out their confused monetary relations and eliciting still money in the advance payment, even as though threatens with the sudden death: Pier, Andrey Aleksandrovich if I suddenly die of a position hopelessness you and at all never receive my debt so, say, send still a small shred on prolife … Directly blackmail by suicide threat!. 4 Well and, certainly, in the first products of the young writer the suicide theme should appear. The hero of "Poor people» Makar Alekseevich Devushkin, surprisingly imitating the author, continually in letters to Varenke threatens it: «I Will go to Neva, and business with the end. Yes, the right, will be such, Varenka; that to me without you to do remains!.» He writes It on 1st of July, dissuading Varenku to go «in people», in the governess, and in the end of the letter once again underlines: a pier, it not only to it will ruin herself, but also it too — will finish to a sin (that is, before suicide). Varenka, having listened to entreaties Makara Alekseevicha, from a place of the governess refuses. But, after a month, circumstances develop so, that Varenke nevertheless it is necessary to move down urgently from this apartment (it undertook to besiege slastoljubivye "grooms"), and she begs Makara Alekseevicha urgently to find-occupy somewhere for this moving of money. Poor Devushkin in despair: and not to help it is impossible, and you will help — too death for it, «the lovely little bird» from a nest will depart it, and separations he will not go through. And still the hero who is broken off dual (the ambivalent!) feeling, it is oath promises to elicit forward the salary (though and without that has already typed in the advance payment it is impossible how much) and without money not to come back. And besides: if money will not elicit — that is not turned back then, is simple «will disappear somewhere, will be gone». More shortly, life Makar Alekseevich Devushkin it is ready to stake voluntary any minute. But it is even more surprising, that there and then, it is literally trace after gloomy-pogibelnyh words I "will disappear" and I "will be gone", the hero writes our ingenuous what to shave to it it is necessary before visit to the heads. It is necessary to shave for comeliness. It would Seem, it every day cares Devushkina of shaving its threats-exclamations about the end of a life, death, its threat to rush to Neva at all umaljajutsja-retire to the background. However, in the future products the writer-psychologist even more will develop this moment, this detail in behaviour of suicides: many of them during the latest moment before voluntary death (or suicide attempt) will be anxious by the most prosaic thoughts and to make the ordinariest acts. For example, the heroine to lead "Mild" (1876) is literally for an hour before suicide drinks traditional morning tea. At Dostoevsky it is mentioned avariciously, that they have converged with the husband in the morning at a samovar, and it was extremely outwardly quiet. As a push to a writing of this story the note has served in «New time» (1876, on October, 3rd) about not which seamstress Mare Borisovoj who was threw out from a window with an image Bozhiej Mothers in hands. And so, this unfortunate Marja Borisov is literally before the suicide drank tea with a kalatch and only the mistress of apartment left on affairs, it is direct because of a table, the kalatch not having chewed can even, has rushed to a window … The protagonist of the second story of young Dostoevsky — "Double" — mister Goljadkin and at all already initially is the potential suicide. The psychiatry of that time asserted, that in general «only in a condition of madness the person is capable to attempt upon the life, and all suicides — insane persons people». E.Djurkgejm in the book "Suicide" gives the detailed review of medical works in which the similar point of view expresses. Itself Djurkgejm is less categorical and by statistical calculations proves, that the people who have despaired and dared at an extreme step suffice and among the normal. But also this French sociologist-psychologist confirms unequivocally: a neurasthenia, the initial form of madness — perfect soil for thoughts on suicide. It is thought, it is not necessary to be the psychiatrist and even the psychologist to recognise the hero of "Double" as the strongly pronounced neurasthenic. (A neurasthenia — the psychological disease caused by a mental overstrain and shown by hypererethism and irritability in a combination to a sleeplessness and fast fatigue.) and, undoubtedly, Dostoevsky the neurasthenic was since young years, judging by numerous memoirs of contemporaries, and in particular, such competent expert, as doctor A. E.Rizenkampf . By the way, it is a high time to result-quote here this original «a hospital map» young Dostoevsky completely to imagine, what painful sufferings were suffered-taken out by it since young years: « I above spoke about Feodor Mihajlovicha's constant morbidity. In what this morbidity and on what it depended consisted? First of all it was zolotushnogo a constitution, and its hoarse voice at frequent swelling of submaxillary and cervical glands, also earthy colour of his face specified in a vicious condition of blood (on kaheksiju) and on chronic illness vozduhonosnyh ways. Tumours of glands and in other parts subsequently have joined, abscesses were quite often formed, and in Siberia he suffered kostoedoj bones golennyh. But it transferred all these sufferings stoically and only in extreme cases addressed to medical aid. Much more he was disturbed by nervous sufferings. Repeatedly he to me complained, that at night all seems to it, as if someone about it snores; thereof the sleeplessness and any trouble so it to itself(himself) anywhere does not find a place becomes with it. At this time it rose and spent quite often all night long behind reading, and even more often behind the writing of the different projected stories. In the morning he then was in low spirits, was irritated with each trifle … » By the way, in the heat of job over "Double" Dostoevsky in already mentioned letter to brother Michael (September, 1845), complaining of intolerable mood, grief, apathy, melancholy and exclaiming, that with pleasure would die the same minute for the future is desolate and «all this performance resolutely is not necessary candles», obranivaet suddenly a multisignificant phrase: «I now present Goljadkin …» And here (we come back to the hero) on this titular counsellor Jacob Petrovicha Goljadkina, with very, to last degree the upset nerves, vital accident falls. It on the sly, illegally, gets into the house of councillor of state Berendeeva where ball in honour of birthday of his daughter and a subject of love of Goljadkina Clara Olsufevny rattles-sparkles, even has already dared to invite to its Pole as suddenly servants throw out it for shkirku from celebratory atmosphere on dank street literally. What should our neurasthenic feel during this tragical, is shameful-shattering moment? «Mister Goljadkin has been killed, — killed quite, true <…> mister Goljadkin not only wished to escape now from itself, but even absolutely to be destroyed, not to be, in ashes to address <…> is valid, position was awful!.» In despair Goljadkin has stopped, has pulled hard on a quay handrail «and steadfastly began to look at muddy, black water of Fontanka …» And that in the nature is created! From heavens snow half-and-half with a rain is fallen-flows, the November wind howls, the crude fog curls. Pressed down, killed the titular counsellor on the bridge costs the accident, humiliated and offended, arrogant polupomeshannyj and looks, looks, looks in dark attractive water. Of what he thinks? On what dares? «… during this instant mister Goljadkin has reached such despair so has been tormented so has been exhausted, before was exhausted also disgraces and without that already weak rests of spirit what has forgotten about all … That really? After all to it was all the same: it's done, all over, the decision is fastened and signed; what to it?.» As we see, thoughts putannye, the sense is not clear: what it's done? What decision is accepted?. Yes after all, most likely, Jacob Petrovich has dared to finish at once all this shameful accident which has fallen upon it, to crush all hateful and hostile world for once. If inside, in a shower such slushy condition, and around such vile autumn slush in water, in the river, can, it and pokojnee is?. «Suddenly … suddenly he has shuddered all body and has involuntarily jumped aside a step on two aside …» That happens, what has rescued Goljadkina the latest minute from suicide? And has rescued it, strangely enough it sounds, sharp progress in its psychopathic condition: during this moment the dual personality of mister Goljadkina also has begun. During this instant to it for the first time has seemed, as if near to it, in the same way oblokotjas on a handrail, someone stood and «even something has told to it, something has soon told, steeply, not absolutely clearly, but about something rather to it close, to it concerning». It is easy to assume, that could tell-whisper Goljadkin 2nd Goljadkinu 1: rush, the darling, in water, finish the tortures at once — really, this vital performance is not necessary candles!. But poor Goljadkin was frightened not of words of the double, namely such sudden phenomenon it and has jumped aside from a handrail. On a known saying "like cures like" at mister Goljadkina one illness (progressing madness) has overcome, stushevala, has suppressed another — an inclination to a suicide. And, by the way, frequently in general the best medicine during the latest moment from suicide — a nervous shock. Also it is indifferent what — positive or negative: pleasure or still bolshee a grief, a fright or anger, a hot kiss liked or the attack of the robber which has fallen down a head the million inheritance or, at last, sudden arrest … In 1847 Dostoevsky writes and publishes the story "Mistress" in «Domestic notes». He wrote it with great feeling and inspiration, was considered-hoped, that there is something even better «Poor people» (the previous products — «the Novel in nine letters» and "Mister Proharchin" — the author and itself, after critics, has counted unfortunate), however literary master Belinsky has estimated "Mistress" extremely negatively, declaring, that the young writer has taken in head to reconcile here Marlinsky with Hoffmann and the nonsense terrible and not clear has turned out. Belinsky who could not learn all career of the genius, could not notice, of course, that in this early story for the first time there was at it a type of the dreamer (Ordynov) — characteristic type of the person, extremely, it is necessary to underline, predisposed to suicide. And the hero of "Mistress" not only the dreamer-romanticist, as, for example, the hero of "White nights". L.  P.Grossman quite fairly notices: « On typical essence Ordynov — harbinger Raskolnikova. Before us the lonely thinker who has run wild in the solitude … » Let's specify and will add: in Ordynove it is possible to see and strokes-bastings of the underground type, too one of kapitalnejshih in Dostoevsky's world. However, in this world all underground heroes — dreamers; and all dreamers — underground. Here and Ordynov, having graduated at university and having received a little bit of the cheap inheritance, has removed the first corner and for two years it was hammered-has lain down in him, as into an underground. However, Dostoevsky, still, certainly, and not assuming, that through one and a half ten years will write-will create «Notes from an underground», only has designated-named in "Mistress" the whole enormous phenomenon of Russian validity and one of basic lines as we now are beautifully expressed, mentality of Russian thinking person — podpolnost and has explained it on example Ordynova so: «There (in the corner. — N. N) it as though was locked in a monastery as though it was released from light. In two years it has run wild absolutely …» Certainly, at Ordynova also in pomine there is underground philosophical idea-platform of the hero «no Notes …», as there is no also an aspiration in the "monastic" solitude (as in the future, let us assume, at Alyoshi Karamazov in the present monastery) to find a peace of mind to find true belief to learn the world Divine and in this world. Ordynova only devoured and the all-consuming passion to a science demanded a solitude. To what it is concrete — to understand from the text to lead difficultly: something similar to philosophy, and can be, even on sociology, political economy or something in this sort. In job over the story Dostoevsky also has started to visit a circle Petrashevsky, so no wonder if its hero in the underground - "monastery" after Fure, Ouenom and Sen-Simonom bore-created the theory of a social reorganisation of the world. « He created to itself(himself) system; it was survived in him by years, and in its shower already still dark, not clear, but somehow the is marvellous-pleasant image of the idea embodied in the new, clarified form little by little rose, and this form asked from soul it, tormenting this soul; he still shy felt originality, true and its originality: creativity already affected to its forces; it was formed and kreplo. But embodiment and creation term still was far, maybe, is very far, maybe, is absolutely impossible!. » In the end of the story it will be mentioned, that during the latest time, before that. How to leave an underground, Ordynov «not creative minutes», that is for rest, wrote also a certain composition on church history. And here this underground dreamer-utopian compelled owing to circumstances to change apartment, has as though regained consciousness, has revived and instantly, having forgotten about world problems, was ill with problems is selfish-personal. He has fallen in love passionately, madly and — that's it! — it is painful in the young wife of the owner of new apartment of old man Murin — Katerinu. More correctly, he has fallen in love with it even earlier, having seen-having met absolutely casually in churches, and because of it, having overcome Murin's resistance, has removed at them a corner. With «violent Vissarionom» it is possible to agree that in "Mistress" is valid a lot of not clear, foggy, mysterious and not explained. But one it is possible to tell firmly: enthusiastically-pensive Ordynov too, as well as the hero of "Double", — the strongly pronounced neurasthenic, continually thinks of suicide, is close to it. Whether Only having got over on new apartment and more not knowing it will be perfect meek or, on the contrary, mutual its love, he already exclaims in advance about itself(himself): «Is not present, the death … better death …» is better And it is necessary to add, that it besides really, so to say, corporally falls ill during that moment: at it a fever and heat, terrible palpitation, its lips are inflamed … But here what paradoxicality of nature Ordynova: he would like to die immediately (let's tell — samoubitsja!) And with limiting happiness, and from a limiting grief — and from the divided love, and from unfortunate. poluochnuvshis for an instant about painful delirium, he suddenly sees over itself(himself) the person of that of which he just dreamt-raved in feverous zabyti. Moreover, Katerina it was inclined over it with nezhnoju care, its tender hand lays on its inflamed to a forehead, perfect omocheno and more than "parent" participation … What thoughts-feelings overwhelm its person with tears of compassion during this delightful moment enthusiastic Ordynova? He wishes to thank perfect "mistress", wishes to take it for a hand, he wishes «to bring this handle to the baked lips, omochit its tears and to kiss, kiss the whole eternity …» He much wants, eventually, very many to tell Katerine, but … uniform from these in general simple, natural and quite accessible desires Ordynov during a life does not realise. But suddenly all these thoughts-desires are belittled-absorbed by one and absolutely monstrous: « … it wanted to it to die this minute ». And it is absolute the same thought-idea and exactly in the same words knocks-pulses in inflamed brain Ordynova when he, after time, is compelled to leave for ever with liked and grown fond of it Katerinoj, to move down from apartment: «It could not take out more; it was as killed; its consciousness froze. <…> he would like to die this minute …» it is necessary to add, that when Katerina has for the first time kissed him on the mouth – «as though a knife have struck it in heart …» Of course — strange enough associations! If at dreamer Ordynova the aspiration to suicide carries nevertheless rather otvlechyonno-romantic and a little abstract character other character to lead — Murin — it appeared in the life-destiny literally on a hair from voluntary  destruction. It was no time extremely rich merchant, but was suddenly ruined, that has resulted it not that that in a neurasthenia, and to the present attacks of full madness. Here in one of such attacks it also has rushed to kill the good companion, a young merchant and when has regained consciousness and has learnt about happened — «the life was ready to lose». It is not known, that has stopped-has brought to reason Murin from this fatal step, most likely, already then the strongly pronounced passionate devotion, only to finish with itself it did not become, and instead has inflicted upon itself to strict church punishment — some years were under a repentance. By the way to tell, it is a typical example when suicide (its desire) is as though the self-execution form for the committed crime, and not less typical example when truly believing person finds in itself forces to refuse revolt against the God, from a role of the cheloveko-god personally solving the destiny. This theme most scrupulously and vseobemljushche will be investigated-is shown by Dostoevsky later in "Demons", in image-destiny of Kirillov … However, we will not run forward and we will finish Murin. And this mysterious Murin, at all devotion turned under an old age of years as a matter of fact in the sorcerer-veduna as if has forgotten how hardly was did not become in a youth the murderer. In an attack of jealousy which an instant later has turned to an attack paduchej (this illness in some years becomes Dostoevsky's main illness), it shoots in Ordynova from a gun, but, fortunately, misses. And then, some time later, persuading Ordynova to move down from apartment and to leave alone ostensibly pomeshannuju Katerinu for ever, Murin, besides as if having forgotten as hardly was did not become the suicide once and having forgotten about fear Bozhiem, again exposes own voluntary death as last argument in conversation-dispute with Ordynovym: a pier if that takes away-will withdraw from it Katerinu, to it, Murin then «what to do, in a loop to climb, whether that?.» Eventually, Ordynov on itself such sin does not take, Murin's death to it to what (though, by the way, there was a moment when it has obviously desired to kill the got drunk and fallen asleep Murin, already and the knife has seized, yes husband Kateriny has regained consciousness in time), from apartment it moves down, runs into melancholy and as it was already spoken, in a head it thoughts on sudden and so desired death start to crowd. Possibly, has rescued Ordynova as there is no time also Murin, the belief, the religion which has become aggravated in him devout devotion — it spends the whole hours in church, prays to full exhaustion, begs at the God of peace of mind and talent of forces to go through-vydjuzhit separation with liked and weight of loneliness … 5 And here the hero of following large product Dostoevsky (after a number of small stories) — the sentimental novel "White nights" (1848) — from suicide rescues … mechtatelstvo. Yes, that mechtatelstvo which is capable to finish other fallen into a reverie romanticist to a suicidal step, to other cases keeps-rescues the poor fellow from a loop, waters or bullets, stupefying its brain, as if a drug, all new and new waves of a pink fog. Most of all the character of the story is afraid to lose ability to dream, he fears realities, the desolate future. Still as soon as vstretivshis-having met with Nastenkoj, it splashes out-gives out in conversation with it the fear: «Now, when I sit beside you and I speak with you, and it is terrible to me to think of the future — again loneliness, again this musty unnecessary (we will underline. — N. N) a life …» And further the Dreamer with inspiration gives out Nastenke the whole poem-improvisation about mechtatelstve, replaced, changed and covered for it the real poor validity. And he admits, that after such «fantastic (pensive) nights» on it find «minutes of sobering up which are awful», he with melancholy realises, that its imagination is exhausted in due course, gets tired, and ahead of it the gloomy end inevitably waits: «Still there will pass years, and behind them the gloomy loneliness will come, the melancholy and despondency …» will come with kljukoj trjasuchaja an old age, and behind them Certainly, the Dreamer not finishes speaking all, but it is possible to guess, that not once or twice minutes of severe awful sobering up from dreams he reflected seriously: and whether it is necessary to wait, when its imagination will definitively be exhausted, and it remains in private with the intolerable melancholy validity?. At least, in its words which have been pulled out in the first meeting with Nastenkoj, quite certain hint on it sounds: «Two minutes, and you have made me for ever happy. Yes! The happy; who knows, maybe, you with yourselves have reconciled me, have resolved my doubts … <…> Well, yes I to you will tell tomorrow all, all of you learn, all …» For the next day the Dreamer and tells Nastenke about such awful «minutes of sobering up», coming after hours, after nights of sweet imaginations. By the way, Nastenka the sensitive female soul something feels, catches, guesses, what is gloomy-heavy depressive extreme measures are reached at times in thoughts by its new friend-acquaintance. Even it is more than that, she assumes, that the Dreamer and in others is inclined to see-suspect aspiration to search for an exit from vital deadlock in suicide. In the story there is such episode («Night the fourth»): liked Nastenki, its groom-student, has not answered its letter. The girl in despair, it cries — he has forgotten it, has stopped loving, has thrown, has betrayed! The dreamer, itself already hot enamoured in Nastenku, but, nevertheless, voluntary and honesty playing a role of the intermediary-postman between it and the groom, tries to calm her, but, possibly, such is intense-frightened tone, with such hyperdisturbing kind, that Nastenka involuntarily screams: «Yes I am quiet. To completeness! It so! These are tears, it will dry out! What do you think, what I will ruin myself, what I will be drowned?.» Nastenka, certainly and thanks God, it will not be drowned, for the groom will return, all misunderstanding will be resolved and ahead — wedding. Happy over a measure and naive Nastenka even has purely female cruelty to ask in the farewell letter of the Dreamer that he liked it still and even came to them to the house, so to say, simply on a visit, on tea … Agrees for the further life and our hero-romanticist. He even imagines, what will-becomes be in fifteen years — «grown old, in the same room as lonely …» But he already knows, that mechtatelstvo will help it, will support it, and is concrete — memoirs on these four wonderful white nights, on this ardent sentimental novel with Nastenkoj. These four unusual nights szhalis-have concentrated for it in whole «minute of pleasure and happiness» which now as if fantastic any, the energy perennial spring will support existence of the Dreamer long years. «My God! The whole minute of pleasure! Yes unless it is not enough of it though and for all life human?.» Question, of course, rhetorical both for the Dreamer-hero, and for the dreamer-author. Absolutely it is no wonder, that, beginning job over volume product following and most for that period on a plan — the novel «netochka nezvanova», — Dostoevsky takes away considerable enough role to hero-dreamer Ovrovu. However, soon already the writer from an initial variant refuses, and the image Ovrova departs on the second and even the tenth plan. But mechtatelstvo as the way of life and sense of existence is inherent in many characters of this product to some extent and in different displays. Unfortunately, the novel and remained not finished because of Dostoevsky's arrest in April, 1849, we still had the unknown person an adult part of life netochki nezvanovoj, but here destiny of its stepfather, Yefimov, is developed-is depicted completely from the beginning and to the tragical end. And for our conversation on suicide destiny of this hero and he just also represent extreme interest. Especially also because this hero is allocated by the creative beginning. It is possible to assume safely, that in Yefimov's destiny the writer has as though lost-has imagined on prospect own destiny in its most the worst, self-destructive, a variant. Fears, fears, young Dostoevsky's alarms for the literary future, the creative career, doubts in, whether will suffice at it talent, forces, will, persistence and a self-trust to tell the — new — a word in the literature, — here a material from which Yefimov lepilsja-was created, its biography-destiny of the creator, the person creative pisalas-was thought out. Besides, Dostoevsky has true tested Yefimov's drama in all its weight: after deafening success of "Poor people», after the general chorus of delights, after Belinsky's panegyrics, after sweet epithets «enormous talent» and even "genius" after he has already imagined-has believed that has achieved full success and ahead one only glory, after all it suddenly — a sneer, spiteful epigrams, a nickname of "a literary spot», a rappberry of "associates" and the same Belinsky's pejorative sentence. Besides Dostoevsky, with its hypochondriac, quick-tempered and neurotic character, has been inclined all to exaggerate and perceive more painfully, than it of that costed. At least, pechatno Belinsky rather delicately criticised the young writer only for inability to master the art gift and in no event doubts in its talent did not state. Moreover, and in private conversations the severe critic expressed not irritation or a sneer, and — alarm for creative future of the beginning novelist. So, in house Panaevyh, behind maps, he has somehow noticed: «That for misfortune, after all the doubtless talent at Dostoevsky and if it, instead of developing it, will imagine already itself the genius after all will not go forward …» But after all these words exactly approach and to Yefimov, in its destiny they were just justified absolutely and completely. Yefimov — the musician, the violinist. It really had in a youth inclinations, the spark Divine was found out, before it possibility to prove, reach heights opened, to become famous, but … But Yefimov for the first in itself, the talent and has doubted. He was frightened, that will not consult, cannot, will not pull — the role of the genius will not play promised to it destiny. And he is internally convinced, he is assured of the genius (quite pardonable weakness of each creator!), he considers, that costs to it only seriously, in full force to undertake a violin … Alas, the hero chooses the easiest and pogibelnyj for any artist a way — mechtatelstvo. Mechtatelstvo as self-deception. «It the dreamer; he thinks, that suddenly, any miracle, for once becomes the most famous person in the world. Its motto: aut Caesar, aut nihil as though Caesar can become so, suddenly, in a flash. <…> he all the same is assured, that it the first musician all over the world. Assure him, that it not the actor, and I say to you, that he will die on a place as amazed with a thunder …» Certainly, these words about instant death are used by character B well knowing Yefimov, figuratively, figuratively, otvlechyonno, but this B and did not suspect, how much it was close to true. Yefimov has heard game of ingenious violinist-guest performer S-tsa and — there was a full wreck of all its dreams.: definitively and irrevocably Yefimov ubedilsja-was assured, that the and the life it has spent on drink-prosvistal talent, and that any it not the genius and ahead only ugly drunk hungover old age in uncertainty and gloomy poverty. Its brain has not sustained it, the consciousness has grown dull. The agony of the suicide has begun. It is not excluded, what is it it literally words has killed-has strangled mother Netochki. The scene is written foggy, semihints, through painful perception of the dozing girl, but, at least, Yefimov, feeling-realising itself the murderer, is justified before netochkoj, showing on a corpse of her mother: «is not I, netochka, not I … you Hear, not I; I not am guilty in it …» It in an eclipse hardly was does not kill and netochku and only during last instant ochnulsja-has thought suddenly, have lowered the violin brought for terrible blow. And here the mad stepfather and the sick stepdaughter run out from gloomy musty apartment, where the corpse of the wife and mother cools down to direct somewhere far, towards to a new, light, happy life (both of them dreamt of it for a long time, especially — netochka); after all somewhere there is this light happy life! As it frequently also happens at Dostoevsky, the Petersburg streets are gloomy and very uncomfortable: promozglo, coldly, there is a sleet … And here through a quarter of hour as though purposeful walking (and they go silently, the stepfather, convulsively poddyorgivaja under the mouse a case with a violin, it is persistent about something thinks), Yefimov suddenly turns off from sidewalk to coast of a ditch and has a seat on a curbstone. Ditch water is chained by dirty ice, but it is especially marked: « A stone's throw away from us there was an ice-hole … »It netochka involuntarily has noted-has remembered, casually, however it is quite possible to assume, that Yefimov persistently thinking something has stopped also villages"a stone's throw away"from an ice-hole completely not casually. In essence, it was already« a live corpse », the dead person, the rests of consciousness he understood, that its life konchilas-has broken. And here — an ice-hole nearby, attractive depth of dark water, eternal rest … Here only the little girl stirs! Artful, as well as all madwomen, the stepfather manages to persuade netochku that she has run back home and has called neighbours to a body of mother, and has then returned. But it did not have not enough patience to wait, while it will curtail for a corner, it any more in a condition to wait, delay, he jumps, he runs away — to get rid of the affectionate little girl more likely, more likely! In Petersburg, on its rivers and ditches, more many other ice-holes!. Certainly, dosochinjat-dream for Dostoevsky it would be strange, but in a narration context the suicide direction of thoughts of Yefimov is read quite. The destiny has disposed so, that at the poor creature the attack istuplyonnogo insanity has become aggravated, it has absolutely lost the power over self, the acts, has got to hospital where has died as though own death. But also once again it is necessary to underline: Yefimov — the real suicide. The suicide of the talent, the destiny and, finally, — the life … In initial, journal, a beginning variant «netochki nezvanovoj» there was still such character — orphan Larenka, him already was mentioned earlier. And so, this little boy was tormented with obsession — somehow here so to take, and to die suddenly. At night to it its died mammy is, caresses-golubit it then Larenka wakes up and starts to dream of death. And the life at poor orphans in the princely house, indeed, is intolerable: him torment the French grammar, and huge master's mastiff Falstafka hates it and «has sworn and has pledged itself a fair noble word to eat sometime poor to the Chest instead of a breakfast», besides the old woman knjazhna, as if, hates it … To us, the adult, such cares-alarms seem almost ridiculous, but malchonka falls ill from them literally. In a word, the Chest has resolved «to run on mogilku to the mammy there to die …» Eventually, the kind prince according to the advice of doctors has sent the impressionable boy from rotten gloomy Petersburg to relatives in solar Malorossiju and that remained is live. Probably, Dostoevsky's which-what children's memoirs were reflected in image and destiny of this small hero: most Fedju once tormented if not the French grammar, Latin … So, we will bring some preliminary results. In the first — dokatorzhnom — the period of the life, in the beginning of literary career Dostoevsky thinks-mentions rather often of suicide and in a daily life, and in creativity. As a result he creates an image Yefimov, and in destiny it is investigated-drawn by the terrible kind of a suicide most for — creative suicide which, in turn, results either in insanity, or to suicide physical. Dostoevsky has understood much and has solved-has defined for itself, composing Yefimov's history-destiny, got rid, possibly, of certain complexes and fears, but also understood, that is only at the very beginning of research of a capital theme — themes of voluntary leaving of the person from a life. Suicide themes. Well, certainly, it is time to be explained at last and concerning the title of the given section. Though its first part, possibly, does not call questions: the heading of product of the writer created by it in the Peter and Paul Fortress is beaten, and beaten is quite proved — Dostoevsky, since the most young years set as an object to become the writer and managed nesmotrja on any obstacles to achieve it, really, — the hero. And here a pearl «the first debut», we will remind, belongs Belinsky's to feather. As is known, in overseas languages our great critic was not especially svedushch, therefore and has admitted, apparently, an annoying tautology. Completely this judgement «violent Vissariona» looks so: « It is impossible to disagree, that for the first debut «Poor people» and, it is direct behind them, "Double" — products of the unusual size and that so still began nobody from Russian writers … »But if to ponder, in this case with notorious« butter oil », maybe, and there is nothing the general. In general, concerning Dostoevsky even reservations of critics at times receive special multisignificant sense. After all, really, to the writer it has been foreordained by Destiny to go through both as though a rebirth, and as though in second time to debut in the literature … But before it was necessary to it to make circulation in the Dead house … The chapter II Circulation in the Dead house 1 At late night, is more correct already at daybreak (there was 5th hour) on April, 23rd, 1849 than Dostoevsky have arrested together with others petrashevtsami … <<<(P. 4) (P. 6)>>>
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© Rosedkin Sergey Nikolaevich, 2001
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